Inquiring Minds Would Like To Know??

[MsMichelle]

Well maybe you ladies can help me get a handle of a few things that we as Transgendered individuals do that always puzzles me.
Even after providing Transgender support for years, nobody has been ever able to answer this puzzle for me. As you tour transgender site all over the net I am always curious as to just why so many are determined to hang out a shingle. By that I mean when you see a title such as Michelle BI/TV/CD
Okay so now I now the persons name is Michelle and they are Bisexual and not sure if they are a Transvestite or a Crossdresser or is it that they are a Transvestite and a Crossdresser? Is that information that should be on something like your drivers license or do you put that on a shingle outside your office. Mike aka Michelle BI TV CD is that a type of certification? I know I can add CNE, MCSE on the end of my male name to show my professional certifications. Foolish thought? Well maybe, but why do we do some of us do it? I don't but maybe I'm missing something.

My next puzzle is this. We take 4 to 10 pictures in our femme best. We have the most perfect makeup, a very expensive wig and a most tasteful and elegant wardrobe. Each picture shows us looking our absolute most perfect female self and some of these pictures show us as being a drop dead gorgeous looking female. The expense we have paid to look this good was worth every penny. But wait that last picture shows a gal with her skirt hiked up around her waist with penis in hand. Can somebody tell me just what the hell the point of that was? Do you look that good as a female that you just have to prove now, just how masculine you are? Is it that you don't want to loose sight of your real gender?

Somebody fill me in please, because personally, I just don't get it.

[Lucy Jayne GG]

I dont know exactly how to answer this,But I definately would get a kick if I was driving down the street and passed a sign saying 'Mike Roberts,DDS AKA Michelle,BI/TV/CD'..I would probably drive off the road.

Lucy J

[Wendy me]

ok like i see it there is some thing for every one out there ...that whole chicks with dic_s thing is not for me at all ...all them lables on you not for me then whats next on your drivers licencs ....you get a h.....drives with heels.....a mu .....drives with make up on???
ect.........

as manny diffrent people as there is evwry one can find a home on the internet ....i looked for a while till i found this place my home ...........................................
see............http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...ead.php?t=6295
who whats and why's are sitll not clear to me as welll

[Melissa A.]

The whole label thing, I'm not sure about. I guess people want others to know who they are when posting a profile. I have 2 yahoo profiles with the same picture of Melissa on them.(long story). The older one does describe me as a "MtoF crossdresser". The newer one just says that one of my interests is exploring my feminine potential. I like that one better. I have my photo on tg profiles, and they actually ask if you are a "CD, TG, TS, etc."

I don't really even know the difference between a transvestite and a crossdresser. I like the word crossdresser better.

I don't think of myself as a "chick with a dick" and would never pose like that.
Eww.

Hugs,

Melissa

[MsMichelle]

I don't think of myself as a "chick with a dick" and would never pose like that.
Eww.

Hugs,

Melissa

Thanks Melissa at least I don't feel like I'm the only one that feels that way.

[Katie Ashe]

I have to agree with Melissa A. Why be dis-tastefull to your self? Be respectfull to others.

Katie

[Tristen Cox]

After I go through all the work to look female why would I go and ruin it by showing proof that I wasn't? I don't get it either. Even if I were a she-male I would keep that last little 'bit' hidden. But then I never understood why they do that. Don't bite my head off, it's just the way I am. To each their own.

[Sigrid]

I didn't attached any lables to my profile, for no specific reason really. I could argue that in some cases it would quite useful to add them so as to encourage open exchange on specific topics, or conversely, discourage unwanted discussion or advances. For example, I'd think twice before asking Michelle Bi/TV/CD for her advice on TS specific issues, although I wouldn't hesitate to propose a sexual rendezvous with her were I was so inclined. Just a thought.

~Sigrid

[melissacd]

I feel that just like people need labels like male and female, they want labels to describe who they feel they are in this context too. It is a way of advertising intent. It is also a form of cliqueishness. Why does anyone use labels for anything, because many feel that they need to identify with something. They need to feel they belong somewhere. Many people have great difficulty in just being...people are so tribal even today.

As for the showing of private parts, perhaps some feel that the illusion is so complete that by not showing their private parts no one would believe that they really were not a genetic girl...???

Melissa Eh!

[azure]

When I started out on my transition, my perception of myself is that and is ; Im stuck with a male body, but like many individuals who are transgendered, have afixed and persisstent knowledge disonance with our gender and our present body shape, and its gender specific attirbutes. I did not wake up one day and think"I'll be a transexual", I knew (like many from an early age) that my body was in conflict with my held inner truth. And once under way on my transition, I did not and do not see myself as a "career transexual". My whole aim is to align my body with the inner self that is female , and say "Im a woman" I dont want to walk into a work place (as I did at BT) and they said "heres Sarah the transexual", and made me stand up and explin to all about me , and then made me use a toilet which was neither labled male or female. nice touch that, ta......not.
Ironically, (ive mentioned this all before so I wont bore you) ive halted my transition, and yes the issue just comes running up to the door and knocking even louder. maybe why I went into a shop and bought some make up today.
I am glad that site like this exist, because god knows support is vital, because its a hell of a lonley journey to make and youve got to have bomb proof will.
I dont think Ive said all of what I wanted to say, and Im sorry if Im preaching,
thanks

[Danielle1960]

I wish I had an answer that was definative, but I guess I don't. I too wonder why all the acronyms are used. I really don't care what sexual presuasion someone is.

Lets see instead of Mr. lets use LBGT Joanne Doe

[Melissa A.]

Don't worry, Azure, Your'e not preaching. That's why this site exists- so you can open up and share your feelings with those who try to understand. It doesn't matter if it's been heard before or youv'e said it before. It still helps. You, and everyone else here are unique individuals, and I like to hear about people's experiences and feelings.

I have long had a great empathy for transexuals. Socially, family and friend wise, physically(elecrolysis everywhere! ouch!), and emotionally, it can be a painful, lonely experience. What courage you all have. I suppose the label TS is necessary, but to me, you and others like you are women. Brave women.

I know our motivations are completely different, but I hope you consider us cds your friendly, empathetic sisters. I wish you nothing but success.

Hugs,

Melissa

[azure]

Im very touched Melissa, thankyou, Im just running out the door, off to work, your and everyones support here is really important, Im really moved and grateful.
Azure

[eileen1969]

I have always thought about this with curiousity and identity! and today its about balance as well loving who you are! Today, I felt like being the man Iam and sometimes I would feel like going out all fem! There are many ways of defining this- TV/ CD/ TS/ bi/gay/les ect....for myself I am comfortable with being 2 spirited and in other of my fellow cultures is described as "twin spirited" I Love both~ my male side as well my female side with all my heart! and very proud to be! as I continue to find myself with great respect n fun too! I hope this may answer your q? labels are labels that society at large like to put people in catagories! listen to heart and connect this with your mind the answer lyes within girl! muck love Eileen

[DonnaT]

Seems simple enough to me. They want people to know who they are when they attach labels. Especially when contacts are made because of the web site.

It's a simple short hand way of saying, "Hi, my name is Mfawny and I am a guy that likes wearing feminine attire."

As for the picture thing. A lot of times the reason for the site is sexual in nature and the pictures add shock value.

Of course it gives us decent CDs a bad rep, but they are not thinking about what their site is suggesting to the general public. Some CDs can be quite selfish that way.

[Brandy_Marie]

By that I mean when you see a title such as Michelle BI/TV/CD
Okay so now I now the persons name is Michelle and they are Bisexual and not sure if they are a Transvestite or a Crossdresser or is it that they are a Transvestite and a Crossdresser? Is that information that should be on something like your drivers license or do you put that on a shingle outside your office. Mike aka Michelle BI TV CD is that a type of certification? I know I can add CNE, MCSE on the end of my male name to show my professional certifications. Foolish thought? Well maybe, but why do we do some of us do it? I don't but maybe I'm missing something.

Well, to me, there is a big difference. I mean at work I add my certifications (MCSE, MCSA, Net+) to the end of my name. I do this for several reasons: 1) it's an accomplishment which I believe I have the right to be proud of; 2) it gives people an idea of what my knowledgebase is; and 3) it helps give clients confidence in my work knowing that I'm professionally certified.

On the other hand, CD/TV/TS is not an accomplishment, and there is no certification exam that I know of to pass. It's who you are, not what you are. To me, it's really not necessary to advertise it to the whole world. I mean, I don't put MWPM on the end of everything. I can see it's usage online, though, as you have to be able to describe to people what they world normally be able to glean from looking at you in person.

But wait that last picture shows a gal with her skirt hiked up around her waist with penis in hand. Can somebody tell me just what the hell the point of that was? Do you look that good as a female that you just have to prove now, just how masculine you are? Is it that you don't want to loose sight of your real gender?

Maybe it's just me, but when I'm dressed the sight of my male member is actually a great turn-off. Being aware of it, and even functioning sexually do not bother me, but when I see it while I'm dressed it just seems to be a painful reminder of my reality. I definitely won't bare it for the camera.

Love,

Brandy Marie Devereaux

[Krissi]

To me I think the label, especially in a name or a website is to really advertise yourself. I know my first few screen names were always (name)CD as an easy way to point out just who and what I was. At that point I was looking more for people to recognize me and help and/or play with me. There was some acceptance issues there too I think. Oh if it says KrissiCD that means I'm still a man deep down, where if its Krissi I've crossed that magical line and want to be a woman. I got past that one pretty quick. I also remember in the chatrooms on AOL a few years ago there was a thing about if you were a CD you were straight, a TV you were bi and TG you were gay(not saying this had any credence, or that these were the only traits associated with each label). For me, once I accepted a femme side and a male side and kept them seperate, the name and labels didn't really matter much. Now I'm just Krissi, nice to meet ya!

As for the picture thing, I agree wholeheartedly. I'm not big on nudes anyway (not saying I don't mind a peek now and then) but I think the sexiest pics are the ones that leave you teased. I'd rather see someone dressed sexy (man, woman, CD...) than someone naked anyday.

[Marianne]

Depends on the place I guess.

The label is nothing more than a 'filter', like wearing a hat with the name of your favorite sports team. People who are also fans might start a conversation (and people who are fans of the rivals might pick a fight).

In many cases, it's nothing more than a way to prevent embarassing questions.

Depending on how you first start to interact with folks online, you might get into the habit of adding the label because it's considered 'common practice', 'good manners' or even a 'requirement'. This is more prevalent in chat rooms and IRC (but varies tremendously from place to place).

As for the 'explicit' pictures, that might just be 'exhibitionism', or 'self-gratification'.

[Tamara Croft]

I hate labels.... I cut them out with scissors

Why do we have them.... it's annoying really..... if i were to label myself, it would have to say 'WEIRD' on it

Tamara x

[Tristen Cox]

I hate labels.... I cut them out with scissors

Why do we have them.... it's annoying really..... if i were to label myself, it would have to say 'WEIRD' on it

Tamara x

Hey I'll vouche for that! *ducks*

[Tamara Croft]

Hey I'll vouche for that! *ducks*

Grrrrrrrrr......... *slaps you upside the head!!!!*

[Tristen Cox]

Grrrrrrrrr......... *slaps you upside the head!!!!*

....no not going there Smack smack Again!

[Marianne]

....no not going there

Woohoo, tranny-wrasslin night!

*munches popcorn*

[Jen_TGCD]

BOT.... [back on topic]

I feel compelled to speak here... since I'm one of them... the ones with an acronym after my name!

My real femme name is Jess (Jessica) and that name is never available in forums or chat, etc., so I have to add something to it, right? I have always used JessTG. Otherwise, I just use Jess Anderson.

Almost immediately, when I first got online, I associated with GLBT and TG activists. Transgender is the "name" that we use for our community. Period! End of discussion!!!

However... the Transexual faction didn't like that because they felt that they would be associated with "crossdressers". Most often they will use only TS as identification. So, to be nice... I often use TG/TS when I'm writing about "Transgender" issues. Everyone is happy now, right? Wrong!!!

Straight crossdressers do not want to be associated with the homosexual Drag Queens! So... they often refuse to use the generic "Transgender" title of identification. Now days... "Crossdresser" is "supposed" to mean that one is a "straight male"... totally ignoring the fact that females, as well as, males crossdress and that some are not "straight" but Bisexual or, are in fact, Gay! OMG>>>> How could that be???

That's here in the States... but in Europe and most other countries, Transvestite (TV) is the preferred title of identification. TG activists are trying to change that since "transvestite" is a psychological term and has a stigma of a "disorder" attached to it! But then... someone(???) decided that "Transvestite" should be used to denote that a "crossdresser" is doing it only for sexual purposes!!! (Transvestic Fetish, etc.)

Sooooo... you can see how confusing this gets. Even with labels, the desired preferences are often not clear.

Being an armchair activist, I like using TG or Transgender as identification. No problem, right? Wrong!!!

It seems that someone(???) started the notion that "TG" means that you are living full time as a woman but have not yet transitioned!!! Huh??? I can't tell you how many emails and PMs I have received that start... "Since you dress full time...."

Basically... I have given up on the label thing!!! I still like TG for identification and added the CD just because it says (to some perverts) that I'm not a fetish diva!!!

This is long enough... without going into the "look what I got!!!" discussion!

[MsMichelle]

BOT.... [back on topic]

I feel compelled to speak here... since I'm one of them... the ones with an acronym after my name!

My real femme name is Jess (Jessica) and that name is never available in forums or chat, etc., so I have to add something to it, right? I have always used JessTG. Otherwise, I just use Jess Anderson.

Almost immediately, when I first got online, I associated with GLBT and TG activists. Transgender is the "name" that we use for our community. Period! End of discussion!!!

However... the Transexual faction didn't like that because they felt that they would be associated with "crossdressers". Most often they will use only TS as identification. So, to be nice... I often use TG/TS when I'm writing about "Transgender" issues. Everyone is happy now, right? Wrong!!!

Straight crossdressers do not want to be associated with the homosexual Drag Queens! So... they often refuse to use the generic "Transgender" title of identification. Now days... "Crossdresser" is "supposed" to mean that one is a "straight male"... totally ignoring the fact that females, as well as, males crossdress and that some are not "straight" but Bisexual or, are in fact, Gay! OMG>>>> How could that be???

That's here in the States... but in Europe and most other countries, Transvestite (TV) is the preferred title of identification. TG activists are trying to change that since "transvestite" is a psychological term and has a stigma of a "disorder" attached to it! But then... someone(???) decided that "Transvestite" should be used to denote that a "crossdresser" is doing it only for sexual purposes!!! (Transvestic Fetish, etc.)

Sooooo... you can see how confusing this gets. Even with labels, the desired preferences are often not clear.

Being an armchair activist, I like using TG or Transgender as identification. No problem, right? Wrong!!!

It seems that someone(???) started the notion that "TG" means that you are living full time as a woman but have not yet transitioned!!! Huh??? I can't tell you how many emails and PMs I have received that start... "Since you dress full time...."

You have raised some good points Jessica. Being more than an armchair activist and a public speaker to boot I have very often taken great issue when I am told that Transgender is a category in itself. People seem to be generally offended when it's pointed out, they are quite mistaken and Transgender is a blanket term that includes everything the Transsexual, Crossdresser/ Transvestite, Drag Queen, Intersexed and Transgenderist.
In fact my personal opinion is that all the categories could be removed and just use the blanket term. I once did a talk show in which is was pointed out that if there is so much confusion within the Transgender Community, how is an outsider or even the GLB community to ever understand us. A valid point when you consider how many variable there are just to the term "Cross Dresser" even the category of "Transsexual" has a huge range not withstanding non-op, pre-op, post-op etc. We have more flavours than Baskin Robins and Tom and Jerry ice cream put together. Transvestite is easily put to bed, as Cross Dresser is just a newer term that replaces Transvestite. If you consider that Sexual Orientation is totally removed from the entire Gender Identity issue. Of course the whole Transsexual being the higher power in the spectrum is actually quite ridiculous. There isn't a Transsexual on this planet that woke up at birth and declared "I am a Transsexual today". While it's agreed that that path may well have been decided for many of us at birth, it took at few years to come to that conclusion.
I still believe the label thinging is redundant, even in a chat room. If you are in a chat room, it's already assumed it's a Transgendered variety. You are therefore one of possibly three categories. Transgendered of some variety, a genetic girl or an admirer. The only other possibilities remaining are bisexual, hetrosexual or gay. Having not ever used a label myself, I still get hit on by the admirers asking if I'm a TS or what. One could wonder what possible difference that could make. In reality, it's due to the stereotyped images of Transsexuals in the porn trade. Personally, I get totally annoyed when the entire Transgendered spectrum gets painted as sexual objects of curiosity.
I can't help but wonder if the whole label thingy isn't us trying to convince ourselves of who and what we are. That tends to speak of the often overly cavalier attitude of some Transsexuals (emphasis on some) Just some more food for thought.