How would you react?

[Emily Anderson]

This is a situation that happened to me a few years ago, when my son was about 7 years old. We were at a friends house, and my son was playing upstairs with my friends two daughters. At one point, he came downstairs dressed up in girls clothing, acting all coy.

As a crossdresser myself, I was kind of shocked and disturbed by seeing this, but I tried to remain neutral toward the situation. I must admit, it was difficult to get my head around the old "like father, like son" adage versus thinking that a lot of boys probably do this at some point in their lives, with no further ado. Mix in with that the fact that being a CD isn't always the easiest of lives...

After a couple of minutes, he disappeared off again upstairs, and we never spoke about it since.

How would you have reacted? Have you had a similar experience?

[Tomara]

Hi Emily , I never had any children of my own but I think I would have been curious to ask him why he was dressed in girls clothes , and how did he feel in them . even at this point it would still be a good father and son talk to see what his feelings are about it all . Tomara

[Staciej]

Growing up I never had guy friends so I spent alot of time with girls and there fav. pass time was real barbie as they called it.So i find it natrural with girls his age and ok with it. If all boys might no make that would be freaked lol.Girls like doing that with boys at playtime.some when they get older.wink wink

I wouldn't ask him if he liked it might be uncomphy or even thank he was weird or wrong asking him something he fealt was just playing like any kid does.

[Shelly Preston]

The best thing is not to react to that

He was playing with two girls and they just involved him in the game

[FlygrlChristy]

Emily, I wouldn't take it too seriously. My five year old son is always putting on moms shoes and walking around in them, he thinks it's great fun, and funny besides. I think it's pretty natural for boys to be curious about the other half and their secrets. I'm like you though, being a CD, I watch my five year old do these things and wonder if he has the same gender bending mindset as I do, cuz I don't recall my 13 year old being quite as curious as my little one, only once or twice with him.

I do think though that if either one of them has a taste for this, be it genetic or for whatever reason, I hope that they can come to me, and I can give them whatever love and support they need, to help them feel that this is part of who they are, and they don't need to grow up with the shame that I did, from not understanding any of this, or having the support I so desperately needed. We are in a unique situation, and have a wonderful opportunity to support and educate our loved ones, so sit back, relax and enjoy the ride with your kids.

You are now free to dress about the country!

Christy

[Holly]

...As a crossdresser myself, I was kind of shocked and disturbed by seeing this, but I tried to remain neutral toward the situation. I must admit, it was difficult to get my head around the old "like father, like son" adage...

Emily, I would say that you are having acceptance issues of yourself, being "shocked and disturbed" at seeing your son do something that you do yourself. If that had happened with my 7 YO son, I think I would had asked him later if he had a good time playing with his friends and guage his happiness and acceptance of himself on his responses and not MY issues.

[Shannen]

I am going to take another viewpoint. This may have a lifelong impact on him! How many of us started out this way? I know I did.

Is it wrong to like female clothing? (no answer needed) Is it wrong to let a child go through life with unanswered conflict and turmoil? I would say yes.

Did you ever lay awake at night wondering why you enjoyed it when the "girls" dressed you up? Did you ever long to tell a friend only to worry about how badly you would be beat up?

Can you as a parent relieve that pressure? Maybe...

I worry about going out enfemme precisely because I don't want kids to "make" me and become confused. I've been in public with my kids when we've encountered badly presenting crossdressers. (The good ones you never notice! ) I've just ignored the situation... hoping my boys didn't notice. Should I address it? Say something like "Did you see the man who wanted to look like a woman today?" Where do you go from there???

...lots to think about...

Shannen

[KarenSusan]

After a couple of minutes, he disappeared off again upstairs, and we never spoke about it since.

I think I probably would have done the same thing, Emily.

[Amy Hepker]

I probably would not say much about it, I would not tell him it was bad, I would just say something to the effect of are you having fun playing?

[TommiTN]

[QUOTE=Emily Anderson;1375192 I must admit, it was difficult to get my head around the old "like father, like son" adage [/QUOTE]

Your statement caught my eye because my Mom recently confided to me that she caught my father (now deceased) in her panties a couple of times. I don't know if this was before or after I started CDing as a young teenager, but I suspect it was before. They both knew about me by indirect evidence and it was the source of much anguish for quite a while.

Having no kids of my own (well, none to speak of, anyway), I hesitate to offer advice, but I think you did the right thing. Youngsters play these games often. He's very young and there is still time to see if he continues with it. If so by all means have the talk with him. I would NOT do it until he's older if you plan on telling him about your own experiences; kids just can't keep secrets.

[AmandaM]

Lot's of kids do that and don't end up being CDers.

[Emily Anderson]

Emily, I would say that you are having acceptance issues of yourself, being "shocked and disturbed" at seeing your son do something that you do yourself. If that had happened with my 7 YO son, I think I would had asked him later if he had a good time playing with his friends and guage his happiness and acceptance of himself on his responses and not MY issues.

Actually, I don't have any issues with my crossdressing. However, I do think it is natural to question the motives of children when they crossdress, as far as pondering whether it is just a game, or if there is something more to it than that. The shock and disturbance that I mentioned was purely because I wasn't expecting him to suddenly appear in girls clothing, which provoked a lot of questions in my mind. My take was to act neutral, with the view that if it happened on a regular basis, I could always speak to him about it at a later time.

[Sarah...]

At that age I would have treated it like any other dress up game. Accept it as what kids do and carry on as normal. Just be secure in the knowledge that you are best placed to be the understanding parent should anything further develop in due course.

Sarah...

[renee k]

Growing up I never had guy friends so I spent alot of time with girls and there fav. pass time was real barbie as they called it.So i find it natrural with girls his age and ok with it. If all boys might no make that would be freaked lol.Girls like doing that with boys at playtime.some when they get older.wink wink

I wouldn't ask him if he liked it might be uncomphy or even thank he was weird or wrong asking him something he fealt was just playing like any kid does.

I played dressup with girls when I was young too! My parents thought nothing of it. Neither did the girls I dressed up with.

Huggs, Renee

[Bev06 GG]

One of my sons did it all the time because there was only about a year between him and his older sister. His dad would come home from work and throw a wobbler because there was jack with his diamante dress on doing his ironing on his sisters plastic ironing board. It caused quite a few arguments between us actually and made me realise what a narrow minded person my hubby really was.
Jack has grown up quite macho actually more so than my eldest lad. He plays cricket, goes out with the lads all the time and has shown no signs whatsoever of being girlie or wanting to Cross dress.
I know that he might well do in the future but what the heck, he could do worse. Now if we were talking drugs or knives then I'd be worried.
Bev

[Alan]

It's pretty normal for kids to go rooting through closets and try everything on. My brother and I both did it (well, wait... I'm counting myself as a guy here, but my family didn't.). In any case, I hate women's clothing, and my brother, thus far, doesn't CD.

[Sandra]

The best thing is not to react to that

He was playing with two girls and they just involved him in the game

I agree with what Shelly has said.

All kids male and female play dress up games.

[Kate Simmons]

No big deal. Sometimes kids are trying to figure out just who they are and what all the hubbub is all about. It's the over reactions that cause problems down the road mostly. I mean, what does a normal kid do when told they cannot do something?

[kym]

i started around that age dressing(i think, at least thats my earliest memory) and look how i turned out. is it really a big deal if he has the cd gene?

[Hilary]

Best not to say too much just incase one day he gets to see you dressed.
I think I would have had something to say to him but it would not to encourage or discourage him. Should he ever like to CD himself at some time in the future, then it would be easier for him to come out. Maybe he was trying you out then to see your reactions?

[Carroll]

Look at this picture of my son when he was 4(he's now 9) and try not to laugh. We saw him doing this and just busted out laughing. He looked at us and was laughing also. He took it off after a bit. Lets face it, kids will be kids and they all try on mommy and daddys clothes to feel "grown up"
brafitting.jpg

[Jonianne]

Funny picture Carroll!

I agree, take it with laughter. I think the last thing a child needs is for adults to take it too seriously at that age. I started at age 7 and was already feeling shame about it. A parent saying something negative or even seriously questioning me would have tripled the shame I felt.