Am I a TS or TV?

**tgirlinva** · 03-10-2008, 11:16 PM

First of all, I've never been a fan of labels and so forth, but I have to ask people with more experience. I feel like I would like to be a woman. I relate to women and feel like I think/act like a woman. However, due to external pressures, I don't want to transition completely. Granted, there's little I can do, but does that make me a TS or a TV? When/how did you know you were a TS?

**Kieron Andrew** · 03-10-2008, 11:20 PM

Originally Posted by tgirlinva

When/how did you know you were a TS?

Most know from an early age...however even though i knew i was different from an early age but didnt know what, it wasnt until i was in my teens before i really started to get uncomfortable with my body....and its only the last few years (i am 30) that ive begun to do anything about it

**Leo Lane** · 03-11-2008, 12:45 AM

I rejected girly stuff when I was six; by thirteen I clearly knew that I wanted to be a boy; at sixteen I identified as trans. However, I don't want to transition completely, either. I'm simply not dissatisfied enough with my body as it is to want to go through all that surgery, and then, like you, I have external pressures to cope with. Dressing and acting male is an acceptable compromise for me. Not wanting to transition completely doesn't make you not transgendered -- but it doesn't automatically make you transgendered, either. Only you have the right to decide what to label yourself.

**Sharon** · 03-11-2008, 03:55 AM

I just always seemed to know, although I fought it for all too many years.

**kerrianna** · 03-11-2008, 04:41 AM

Maybe I am, maybe I'm not.

Like you said, labels.

More importantly is what makes you happy in life?

There are many different stones on the path of transition, and some people walk them quite differently.

But I understand your question because I asked it myself a while back, and since then I realized that other people's answers weren't necessarily mine.

It's easy to get sidetracked trying to figure stuff out.

It's funny. One of the things I look back on is how I always felt different from everyone, like Kieron says he did, and then when I tried to measure myself up with the TS community... surprise... I still felt different than everyone. Then I realized that we all ARE different, even if there are many common experiences and feelings. So now I just try to figure out what I want to do and what's right for me, and I don't care what you call me, just don't call me late for dinner. (sorry, couldn't resist that old joke)

**Nicki B** · 03-11-2008, 06:43 PM

Originally Posted by tgirlinva

..does that make me a TS or a TV?

Can I ask why it matters to you?

If you want a label, why not just 'trans'?

**deja true** · 03-11-2008, 06:56 PM

"...If you want a label, why not just 'trans'?"

Or why not just use "ME"?

deja

**Fi Fi Fiona** · 03-11-2008, 07:16 PM

I asked myself many questions. Sometimes, looking at my thoughts, I see that i question myself alot. Partly, to see if I want/am prepred for the outcome and other times its just because im a little scared. Scared of change? Not really. Not quite sure at this moment in time.

By the way, im in my late teens and self identified as "Transgender" (Now just as little unique me) at about 15(thinking about this subject from about 7-8+ as i was still thinking and discovering things at the time)

I did alot of reading about other peoples experiences but all in all, that didn't answer my initial question of what i am. I kind of came to that conclusion on my own after a long degree of thinking (Not saying that self-diagnostic is a good thing but in my case, i didn't have access to a psychiatrist etc)

What im trying to get at here is that i did alot of question/answer sessions with myself (Crazy? x_x). Only you can truely say whether you are or not. And if you identify as a TS, TV or a telletubby, I don't see that it matters greatly. You are you and that should be the only thing that matters as a lable. Lables are just socieity's way of putting us into groups. Since we can't burn the lables, ill just stick with my "Boy with fabulous nails who wants to transition" lable which is preety unique

. Now i just have to change that to "girl with fabulous nails who needs a manicure..."

P.S. I hope i havent dodged the question or made a fool of myself, getting tired and writing off the top of my head

**Alex R** · 03-12-2008, 04:26 AM

Originally Posted by tgirlinva

When/how did you know you were a TS?

If you are TS then at some time you'll just realise it. And in my view just because you perhaps didn't know when you were knee high to your grannie doesn't mean you're not TS. But then again it doesn't mean you are.

Don't hurry this conclusion, it'll come to you.

**Amy Hepker** · 03-12-2008, 04:40 AM

You are a Crossdresser, a Transgender, a Transvestite, but you are not a Transsexual as you still want you private parts like me and most here. You don't have to label yourself, you are you and that's all people should know. What's your name??? That is who you are. The person you are inside. Don't worry about labels.

**Alex R** · 03-12-2008, 10:30 AM

Originally Posted by Amy Wannabe

.... but you are not a Transsexual as you still want you private parts like me and most here....

Of course not all MTF TSs dispense with their male private parts.

**tgirlinva** · 03-12-2008, 03:55 PM

Originally Posted by Nicki B

Can I ask why it matters to you?

If you want a label, why not just 'trans'?

Because everyone deserves the right to know his/her identity. I don't care whether I'm a TS, CD, TV, or TG. What I want to do know is whether I am a girl in a man's body or whether I just like some aspect of being a girl or what, I don't know.

**deja true** · 03-12-2008, 06:24 PM

Well we can't tell you that, sweetheart! The answer is already in yourself (so many of us think)and it's up to you to do the research and the introspection that provides the answer.

There are years and years of threads archived here on every gender subject you can conceive of. Check out some of those. Meet some girls face to face and talk your tongue off. Read any of hundreds of books on trans subjects, from scientific to blatant porn. But the most important is examining your own motives and mind. Somewhere in all that is your answer waiting for you to find it.

Oh....and stop obsessing about the label. Find yourself. We can answer almost all questions but that one...

It occurs me, actually, that your asking the wrong question...

It should be 'WHO am I?' not 'WHAT am I?'

**Nicki B** · 03-13-2008, 08:09 PM

Deja is very wise...

**Lisa Golightly** · 03-14-2008, 03:35 AM

To go all cryptic and enigmatic all I can say is I don't like the 'mones, but the 'mones like me...

I don't think anyone knows what they are until the cerebal and the chemical get locked into a cage and have a rumble. I know what I am now, but for too long I didn't really accept it.

As for you.... Well, it is a voyage of the self that only you can take.

**marie rose** · 03-14-2008, 10:48 AM

Lisa, I like your phraseology. "The cerebral and the chemical locked in combat".
Seems like I've been fighting that battle since before puberty and for decades the cerebral would win out but the last few years it's always the chemical that emerges victorious.

**Lanore** · 03-19-2008, 06:22 AM

As long as I can remember I have felt more female than male. At a very early age I would want to look and be like some of the women my mother would have over at the house at Avon parties. I always helped set up and eveything about being around that group of women just made me feel good about myself. How many remember those parties? Anyway, I have always known I was female and am so content with who I am.

Lanore

**AmandaM** · 03-19-2008, 08:53 PM

I'm almost 100% sure I am a woman, or should be one. I'd like to live as one. Even trade in my body parts. Life gets in the way of that, with careers, families, etc. It's much to risk. So, I can admit it to myself. Doesn't mean I have to proceed.

**kerrianna** · 03-19-2008, 09:42 PM

I'm starting to see that, like a lot of things in life, just because you put on the mantle, or don't put on the mantle, doesn't mean you are or aren't.

What I mean is, many people don't necessarily show the world who they really are inside for many reasons. It doesn't mean they are any less than someone who does. They know who they are, and sometimes I think in a way they are stronger because of that.

Having said that... sometimes you just gotta go with the flow and follow your heart. But you have to know your heart first, which always seems like the trickiest thing. It can take a long time to get to know yourself... and then you might change en route because that's what growing does to you.

That's why labels sometimes don't work too well. They tend to fall off when you go through growth changes. Like Deja said, it's not WHAT, it's WHO.

As much as it seems sometimes, there is no right or wrong way to be. We take our cues from others and their experiences, but in the end, only you walk your particular path. Try to find freedom and joy in whatever path you find yourself on. That's what's important. That's when you know you are doing it 'right'.

**Michelle Amante** · 03-31-2008, 05:48 AM

I would say that I'm TS, but I don't like the idea of having my body hacked on with sharp instruments. If there was some sort of magic that could transform my body into a purely female body, with all the appropriate parts, I would jump at the chance to have it done. Sadly, I haven't found that such magic exists, except in my wild imagination.

**Elizabeth** · 04-05-2008, 05:13 AM

Originally Posted by tgirlinva

First of all, I've never been a fan of labels and so forth, but I have to ask people with more experience. I feel like I would like to be a woman. I relate to women and feel like I think/act like a woman. However, due to external pressures, I don't want to transition completely. Granted, there's little I can do, but does that make me a TS or a TV? When/how did you know you were a TS?

As a general rule, and there are no hard and fast rules, one who desires to become a woman is TS, while one who only wishes to appear as a woman would be TV. Also, as a general rule, most TV's started out dressing for sexual reasons, whereas about 40% of TS's are asexual. In fact, many TS's will not have a history of crossdressing, or of minimal crossdressing. Many see crossdressing as not helping to make them the gender they desire to be. But again, there are others who's only opposite gender expression is through dressing.

The deal is this. Psychologists don't tell us we are TS. We tell them. If you are the wrong gender, only you can know this. If you truly want to be a woman and live your life as a woman, you are TS. If however you don't feel that strongly about it, you are either TV or somewhere inbetween. There are those referred to as Transgenderists who live their lives as females, but don't want surgery or sometimes even hormones. But in every other regard, they live and work as females.

Only you can know what you are and anyone claiming to know what you are, is full of crap. I suggest you find a good gender therapist to help you explore these feelings.

Love Always,
Elizabeth