Describe that feeling...

[Sally2005]

How would you describe to a non CDer the feeling that builds inside until you *have* to dress?

Sometimes I can go for months without the desire to CD, but then all of a sudden over a few days or week I find that the desire builds until I have to do something about it. At the same time, CDing is never really that far away, I've accepted it as part of my being, but in the dry periods I feel like what's the point of CDing? Why bother? I could never look passable. However, in the period when you have to CD, it is like the complete opposite.

Is it like going without chocolate for months and then stuffing your face with them all at once? Or is it more like a chemical change in the body or after you eat something? Or something you see or feel that triggers it?

I understand the cycles, I'm looking for a good way to describe how we feel to someone who is not a CDer.

[Seville]

How would you describe to a non CDer the feeling that builds inside until you *have* to dress?

Sometimes I can go for months without the desire to CD, but then all of a sudden over a few days or week I find that the desire builds until I have to do something about it.

Is it like going without chocolate for months and then stuffing your face with them all at once? Or is it more like a chemical change in the body or after you eat something? Or something you see or feel that triggers it?

I understand the cycles, I'm looking for a good way to describe how we feel to someone who is not a CDer.

Far worse than chocolate. For me it was like being on a 60+
hour a week job, with no time off, for endless months
at a time, then going on a R E L A X I N G long term
vacation. Sheer joy!

That's the best I can do.

Another interesting topic!

[Sadie V.]

The feeling most of us get while crossdressed is a sense of comfort, excitement, relaxation, mostly positive feelings. Granted there are a few that feel an overwhealming sense of guilt from the act, fortunately for most of us we are very comfortable in our own skin and know that our feminine side has as much right to be seen and heard as our masculine side. Hopefully this has helped out.

[Suzy Harrison]

I need to do this very often these days, but luckily I am able to do so.

Many years ago this wasn't the case. Sometimes I would have to go for 2 months without the chance to dress. I know that doesn't seem very long, but at the time it would seem ages.

During that period I'd feel very frustrated and found it difficult to concentrate on things. But once I finally got dressed again I'd feel a tremendous release of pressure and then feel more relaxed and far happier.

[Laurelanne]

Its very hard to describe isn't it especially to someone who doesn't CD, but I guess its as close to Suzy's description as you will get. Longing to find the woman inside

[Angie G]

I dresas 5 day a week so not much desire build up hun
Angie

[Eugenie]

How would you describe to a non CDer the feeling that builds inside until you *have* to dress?

I have sometimes described it as a viceral somatic urge (sorry for the big words...) It is indeed a feeling that starts at the center of the inner me which makes me sick until I can finaly go through what my body asks for.

I will feel very bad if I am in a situation where I can't fulfill that need. That is of course obvious in my attitudes and it makes my wife unhappy as she detects very easily the reasons for my feeling low and doesn't like my x-dressing.

It is much more that a fetishist fantazy. This is by the way what is so difficut to understand. Even friends who know that I am a crossdresser often make comments which, albeit very kind ones, nevertheless show that they don't get it... They still see it as a pleasure seeking behaviour linked to a sexual fantasy, even if they don't say it directly anymore.

The analogy with craving for food may give some hints to the people we try to inform about our need to crossdress. Likewise the desire for sex, which is also a very strong drive, can give some ideas. But neither convey the long lasting effect of the drive to crossdress: once you have eaten your soul out of when you have satisfied yuor sexual urge, things come back to a steady state...

Not so for the desire to crossdress... It is lasting all the while you are dressed "en femme" and doesn't fade away after you undress.

Perhaps the best explanation can be "Crossdressing makes me feel extremely good in my head and in my body. It is a feeling that is profound and that never lasts. It has almost no sexual content, at least no more that what a female at birth would have from time to time."


Eugenie

[Sally2005]

There is a definite trend. If you have a constant release there is no build up and otherwise the intensity increases until you do something to release it, then it starts all over again. It feels like a chemical change in the body. My guess it that it is a CD type trend vs. TS which is more of a constant desire. It seems to be releated to stress, but not entirely since you can be depressed or happy and still have this cycle, but it seems to have a calming effect. The other thing I notice if that lack of sleep brings the desire out more and the desire is always the strongest in the morning. Anyone else notice this too?

[Echo Logical]

Well, it's like the time in between football seasons. You think about how your team is going to do in the coming season. You watch videos of the spring training, and pre-season scrimmages. Then finally after months of waiting you put on your favorite jersey and catch the big game, at the stadium or from your living room on the tube. You cheer, and rant, you feel the victory in every completed pass, and the defeat of every fumble, you faithfully follow through the whole season, and when it ends you think about the next season to come.

That is how I would explain to some people I know who are really into football. For other I would explain differently.

[jill s]

I usually say " It's like all my little pains and worries are being put into a bottle, and when I dress it's like turning the bottle up and pouring it all out at once". I know, not very helpful, but as close as I can come to the feeling.

[Kate Simmons]

It sounds simplistic my friend but is far more complex really. Most do not know it is a process that involves neurological and physiological changes in us. A lot of it involves feedback and feed forward processes within us to reach a desired state of being. In a sense, we "re-create" ourselves in many ways, both subtle and gross when we do this.

[dominique]

I used to dress once maybe twice a week, but lately it has been every day during the week. When kids of on hols I look forward to them going back. So I can dress.

[TGMarla]

Althought I usually get to dress about 4 times a week, there are days when it builds up inside me. Some days the urge to be dressed is a lot stronger than on other days. Some days it leaves me alone and doesn't bug me much. When it does bug me, it's rather frustrating. I'm going about my business with a distraction irritating the inside of my head, that teases and titillates the whole day until I am able to get home and dress. Then when I'm finally dressed, it's like a wash of relief, a heavy sigh, and a very good feeling. If I am unaable to do this for an extended period of time, it gets very frustrating, and the urge to dress can be very distracting. Aarrrgh! Talking about it this early in the morning, when I know that I'm at least 12 hours away from even the opportunity to dress is kind of hard, too!

[Samantha43]

How would you describe to a non CDer the feeling that builds inside until you *have* to dress?

Sometimes I can go for months without the desire to CD, but then all of a sudden over a few days or week I find that the desire builds until I have to do something about it. At the same time, CDing is never really that far away, I've accepted it as part of my being, but in the dry periods I feel like what's the point of CDing? Why bother? I could never look passable. However, in the period when you have to CD, it is like the complete opposite.

Is it like going without chocolate for months and then stuffing your face with them all at once? Or is it more like a chemical change in the body or after you eat something? Or something you see or feel that triggers it?

I understand the cycles, I'm looking for a good way to describe how we feel to someone who is not a CDer.

WOW!!!
You just described me perfectly. I will go for months (I have even gone years) without crossdressing or really even thinking about it. Then it sort of bubbles up to the point where I feel I really need to do it. I have found that during my busy periods I really don't have the desire to dress. I think about it occasionally, but the desire just isn't there. During my slower times when I am more well rested and life is moving at a little slower pace I can't get enough. I will dress quite often during these periods, and get a great deal of satisfaction from it. Then the desire seems to fade away after a few months. I have been trying to figure this out for years, but can't come up with an explanation. Maybe when I am busy, my mind is occupied with other things and crossdressing works it's way down my mental list of important things to do.

[harmony]

its like an earthquake?balances within ourselves are misaligned
and need relief.

[jackie_p]

For me it seems that I spend more and more time thinking about it.
Then, when I get to the point where I'm pretty much obsessing over it
I usually find some alone time and lift the weight off my shoulders. After
that I'm mentally in a better place for a while until it starts building
again. Hope I don't expolde one of these days!

[Deborah Jane]

Hi Sally!! I don,t think i can explain the feeling. It just feels so right and natural for me now i,ve accepted myself!!
In the past i had a "love hate" relationship with my c/ding...I needed to dress and really enjoyed the time i spent dressed, but afterwoods i hated myself for it and pushed myself into macho activities!!

I guess the only way i could explain it to a non C/Der is that it,s just something i need to do, i don,t know why but i just need too!!

[Debutante]

... It seems to be releated to stress, but not entirely since you can be depressed or happy and still have this cycle, but it seems to have a calming effect. The other thing I notice if that lack of sleep brings the desire out more and the desire is always the strongest in the morning. Anyone else notice this too?

Yes, Sally, I very much feel the cycles myself. They come when they wish... and I wish it weren't so!

The urge is mysterious, and comes up from within. Often when I am stressed, but esp. tired, is when it comes. In the morning I am close to it as well... I have often dressed in a night gown or other clothes, while at the breakfast table with my accepting wife. She is uncertain with my CDing, but does like it very much when my femme comes through clearly and with some autheticityn...

[joperinal]

I was here. Could not handle the stress at home so I got rid of everything.
now more then a yaer ago, as you cna see in my last posts.... bu now I am looking on internet again. got that feeling again...

[ColleenW]

Hi Sally -

For me it's like a slowly wound clock spring. It just gets tighter and tighter until it springs.

[Celeste]

I seem to go a few weeks at the most and then want to dress again.Little things bring me back like,noticing nice clothing on gg's,coming across old receipts of femme items purchased ,seeing things advertised I might want to try , seeing someone who has that "look" that I admire or am attracted to.

Then,just as if I'd been placed in a hypnotic trance,I'm hooked for about two days.When it is over,and I'm in drab,I'm left in limbo about mens clothes and styling realizing how much I despise it and how boring it really feels to me.For me,I don't think the desire ever go's away, not acknowledging it would be like a great friend knocking on my door,and me inside pretending to be gone.

[TxKimberly]

How would you describe to a non CDer the feeling that builds inside until you *have* to dress?

Imagine looking in the mirror every day and seeing someone plain or ugly looking back at you. Now imagine that every once in while, you get to look in the mirror and see someone beautiful looking back at you?
Imagine going through life as a caterpillar (AKA Worm) and every once in a while you get to be the beautiful butterfly?

Works for me! :-)
Kim

[Raychel]

For me it was like being on a 60+
hour a week job, with no time off, for endless months
at a time, then going on a R E L A X I N G long term
vacation. Sheer joy!

I would say that this pretty much nails it right on, for the way it feels to me.

[tommi]

For me it seems that I spend more and more time thinking about it.
Then, when I get to the point where I'm pretty much obsessing over it
I usually find some alone time and lift the weight off my shoulders. After
that I'm mentally in a better place for a while until it starts building
again. Hope I don't expolde one of these days!

Very well stated but at other times it just feeds on itself the urge gets stronger even when I do get to dress especially if I've been shopping.
The excitement of wearing the new clothes and refining our looks.
It can almost become obsessive if you let it.
Being that I present myself to the same small community day and night I have to choose wisely how I deal with staying in the closet or peeking out.
Finding a day or even an evening to just let loose helps but talking it out is about the only way I get back control.

[docrobbysherry]

Here's how I would describe CDing:

It relieves all my stress. It makes me high and very excited. I forget everything else going on in my life. I get very turned on.

It make me appear to be another person entirely. It is like a dream, a fantasy come true.

It's funny. When I CAN dress, I often don't. When I CAN'T dress, I seem to want to!