Article on Pregnant Trans Male / pregnant man

[CaptLex]

I really wish he hadn't gone to the media with his story, honestly. I'm not sure why he felt the need to do that. Once the media has found you, they don't let go - and a baby doesn't need media attention.

I wouldn't want to be the first guy out there with a story like this, but I do think people need to see it, get used to and hopefully, eventually . . . get over it. I hope to see the day that it won't be news anymore 'cause people would say, "Oh another one, okay, what's for dinner?"

I remember when the first in-vitro baby was new and controversial (before your time ). Now nobody blinks and eye when it's mentioned. There always has to be a first of anything if we're to progress as people:

the first woman in space
the first African-American baseball player
the first married homosexual couple (really married, not civilly united)

The first of anything is going to make waves, bring people out of their comfort zones and get attacked. It's not easy being a pioneer (I wouldn't want to sign up for it), but it's important IMO.

Personally, I give him even more credit for being open about it and subjecting himself to the firestorm than even for having the baby.

[Cai]

That's a good point.

And it does look better that he went to the media instead of waiting for them to find him.

I guess I'm more annoyed at the media backlash than I am at him.

[Tamara Croft]

I was in the hairdressers last week and my stylist asked me if I'd heard about it. Obviously I had lol... and I said, yes and answered a few of her questions. I didn't tell her I'd read it in here, because the place was pretty full and I didn't want to be stared at tbh.. (you know how it goes) but I did tell her I thought what he had done was pretty amazing... she was a bit dumbfounded how he got pregnant lol...

[Kieron Andrew]

she was a bit dumbfounded how he got pregnant lol...

LOL did you tell her the birds and the bees

[Tamara Croft]

LOL did you tell her the birds and the bees

LOL... no, just told her the different ways a woman can conceive lol... then it kinda went all quiet... prolly wondering how I knew so much...

[Flameboy]

The thing is, he's not the first transguy to carry a child, or even then first one to write an article about it. I doubt he expected this much fuss to be made about it - he probably expected a bit of interest from the LGBT community, and no more - pretty much what happened previously.

I've no idea why the media ignored that one, but has seized this one as if there's no other news around, especially since one of the guys in the previous article is a well-known BDSM activist - which would surely have added another angle to the story as well.

Dave

[KrazyKat]

Anyone catch the Oprah show today? I'm going to watch the midnight repeat. It's going to be the sterilized version, I imagine!!

I think trans is the new "in" thing in the media now. Look how fast Oprah booked this guy on the show!!

[xTwo_Of_Heartsx]

Oh my god.. that is so beautiful..
I would do that if my partner somewhere down the line wanted a baby.

[Valeria]

I was in lab today, and one of my classmates had heard about this story.

Now, we just had a lecture on human sexuality issues, including being sensitive to diversity, 3 days earlier. The lecture covered gender issues, and specifically addressed crossdressing, transgendered, and transsexuality. Surprisingly good lecture, too - the prof presented gender and sexual identity as multidimensional, distinguishing (for instance) gender identity from gender presentation as being seperate dimensions. She even told an interesting story about a culture where post-menopausal women were perceived as a third gender, obtaining some of the formerly denied privileges of men.

Anyway, the point is that the student talking about this is someone that has doubtless had the general topic of transsexuality brought up in classes several times (she's taken at least three classes where it would have been discussed, always with an emphasis towards awareness and sensitivity) to get this far in our program.

She still was consistently referring to the pregnant guy as "she/her".

After she did it a few times, I corrected her by interrupting her story by blurting out "he!" after she said "she". She gave me a dirty look, but at least she started getting the pronouns right some of the time after that. But the point is that even people who are supposed to be culturally sensitive and aware have this perception problem towards us.

This is not a very interesting or enlightening story - sadly, it's really a pretty mundane event. But it annoyed me, so I thought I'd vent a bit by sharing it with y'all.

(This is part of why I'm not out as trans, btw - if people like this are really seeing him as a "her", then I don't have much doubt as to how they'd see me if they knew about my past.)

[beth ann]

He and his wife were on the show today 4/3/08. beth ann

[Sandra]

All credit to him I think it's a true show of love to have done this.

Not gonna say what my colleague at work said about it, tring to explain things to her was like she really is ignorant

[CaptLex]

Not gonna say what my colleague at work said about it, tring to explain things to her was like she really is ignorant

I can just imagine, Sandra. I've been trying to explain it to people who have e-mailed me after hearing about it - it's like talking to 2-year-olds.

I thought the show was basically well done, and I thought Oprah handled this sensitive topic well - good questions.

[Drake]

Yay!
I got to see the show afterall! Went to my grandparents because my dad had a doctor's appointment and I watched it downstairs.
I'm glad Oprah's so open minded and that's she's trying to spread acceptance. I was also surprised at how confident Thomas (the pregnant man) was. He didn't feel at all that the pregnacy made him any less of a man. It was a really great show.

[CaptLex]

He didn't feel at all that the pregnacy made him any less of a man.

Yup . . . I liked when he said he wasn't suddenly getting the urge to shave his legs or anythiing.

[Felix]

I can see all sides of this without going into the technicalities but wow I think he is amazing and if handled correctly the little girl will be loved and cared for and will only know mummy and daddy. Later they may wish to tell her when the time is right but hey as long as they protect her good luck to them all. I admire them both xx Felix another of life's contradiction in terms lol!!!!

[JoAnnDallas]

The Pregnant Man was on Opria yesterday and she conducted a really good interview. Very positive IMHO.

[KrazyKat]

Yes, I did catch it last night. It was very good, because Oprah devoted the entire show to this couple. Usually she has others come on and is rushing through it all and editing it to look and sound a certain way. They seemed to do less "shocked" audience shots then usual.
I liked that she interviewed the doctor, and Thomas' wife's daughters and they all were calm and not that upset. It was a good thing for the whole community.
They did mention something about half of the people in some GBLT community advised them not to come out on the show, did anyone catch that?
We should all go to the Oprah network and comment positively on the show, would go a long ways, don't you think?

[CaptLex]

They did mention something about half of the people in some GBLT community advised them not to come out on the show, did anyone catch that?

Yeah, I was disappointed to hear that.

We should all go to the Oprah network and comment positively on the show, would go a long ways, don't you think?

I took your advice and did just that, but I'm devastated by the overwhelmingly negative response the show got on her message boards. I couldn't read all the responses as it goes on forever, but the only other positive response I saw in the few pages I checked was from another transman (figures ). What a truly backwards country we live in!

It would be great if our whole community got on there and gave 'em our point of view . . . the bigots!

[Valeria]

I took your advice and did just that, but I'm devastated by the overwhelmingly negative response the show got on her message boards. I couldn't read all the responses as it goes on forever, but the only other positive response I saw in the few pages I checked was from another transman (figures ). What a truly backwards country we live in!

There is a thread about this in another forum (one specific to younger transitioners - mostly women). People there were shocked and dismayed at the horribly negative reaction to this episode on the Oprah message board. One of the women went back and looked at the comments about her trans teen show, and she found that some of the people who posted extremely negative comments about this issue were supportive and open-minded sounding before.

So their speculation is that the reaction is fueled not so much by outright transphobia, but rather by middle-aged moms being upset and threatened by a sacred rite of womanhood being impinged upon by someone male-identified. That's someone else's idea (paraphrased), but it sounds plausible.

Which is obviously still a problem - I just think it's useful to try to understand why people are reacting so negatively in this particular case.

[CaptLex]

I just think it's useful to try to understand why people are reacting so negatively in this particular case.

I know people who don't get it will have a less-than-ideal response, but I'll never understand why people don't shut their mouths, listen and learn before they spew hateful, ignorant remarks. And no amount of reasoning will help me see that.

Sorry, hun, I'm just not in the mood to tolerate bigotry today. Maybe tomorrow.

[Valeria]

Sorry, hun, I'm just not in the mood to tolerate bigotry today.

Hey, I'm not excusing, just analyzing.

[Tamara Croft]

I know people who don't get it will have a less-than-ideal response, but I'll never understand why people don't shut their mouths, listen and learn before they spew hateful, ignorant remarks. And no amount of reasoning will help me see that.

Sorry, hun, I'm just not in the mood to tolerate bigotry today. Maybe tomorrow.

tell me about it... I've just seen something about this guy on an IRC network, I won't say what was said, let's just say I'm so NOT impressed and told them so... and completely outed myself as running this forum... but I care not, I am so fkin mad

[Kieron Andrew]

and completely outed myself as running this forum... but I care not, I am so fkin mad

Good for you! we need people who are not trans shouting loud and proud in our corner!

[Tamara Croft]

Good for you! we need people who are not trans shouting loud and proud in our corner!

Well see now I feel like an idiot... because what was said was about the show title... fkin oprah... trust her to do the 'wrong' thing but even so, yes, I've told 3 people I run (ok help run) a TG forum... and it felt so vigarating... *shouts*

[Stephanie Anne]

On one hand I am happy this is giving transmen exposure but on the other I am saddened by the media oddity he has become. Anyone else this would and should be a non issue. I can only hope something postive comes from this.

The very fact he is scared for his child's life makes me cringe at this world.

I also hate the article I saw that plastered his old photos. Who cares that he was born a woman and was a "beauty queen" Makes me think they are saying "ah shucks, she was so pretty, why she got to waste it and be a man"