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Thread: All over!!!

  1. #1
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    All over!!!

    Well now it,s going to be official at the end of the month!!
    My so called "trial separation" that started in October 2006 will now be finalised as a divorce at the end of May 2008!!!
    So after 27 years and 3 children together, the girl/woman i,ve been with since childhood and myself start new lives apart!!
    The reason? Because i admitted i like to dress as a woman sometimes!!!
    Something i thought i,d beaten before i got married, so i never told her about it, until it came back to haunt me later in life!!!

    So where do i go from here?
    A middle aged guy who likes to dress as a woman?

    Any ideas about what i should do next gratefully received!!!

    All of a sudden i feel so alone with this again...I came here to feel like i was in company, but i,m just sitting here staring at a computer screen, knowing the only people in the world who may understand how i feel are a world away!!
    Last edited by Deborah Jane; 05-08-2008 at 09:27 AM. Reason: Added the last paragraph

  2. #2
    Member nikki47's Avatar
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    Hi Deborah,I felt so sad reading your post.I don't have an answer to where you go now.This could happen to any one of us and for what,just enjoying dressing.My thoughts are with you,sorry i couldn't be more helpful but i feel for you,i really do.

    Take Care Nikki

  3. #3
    Girl in disguise Emily Ann Brown's Avatar
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    From a girl whose "numbers" are 38yrs/3kids and separated since July 2006, I would say FIND YOURSELF.



    How much do you "want/need" to dress?

    Do you "want/need" a female companion?

    Where do you want to be in 5 years?



    The answer to your question lies within the honest answers to these issues.


    Emily Ann
    Living with a heel in each world.

  4. #4
    Member AmyH's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear about the Deborah. I know words can only say so much be we are all here for you.
    It's a Jeep thing, you would not understand!!

  5. #5
    Silver Member renee k's Avatar
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    Hi Deb,

    I went through a divorce similar to yours sixteen years ago. With two children. We were married for twenty years. She new about my crossdressing before we married, thought I would change, but you know how that goes.

    My advise to you, is move forward with your life, don't dwell on the past. Keep a strong and close relationship with your children. Divorce is one of the toughest times to get though. Just keep looking forward to better days.

    Huggs, Renee

  6. #6
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    One more good reason not to tell. Where are all the "Truth and Honesty" folks today?

  7. #7
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    Got divorced myself this year, although crossdressing wasn't an issue in it all. If you have a good relationship with your kids and have mainained it through the separation then everything should be OK.

    OK, it's not what we may have wanted, but it's a new start - just think of all the possibilities!

  8. #8
    Member bobi jean's Avatar
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    All Over!!!

    What the f&%# is that??
    Honey you should try
    ALL OVER, NOT!!!!! just beginning.
    I am truely sorry for your current situation, divorce/seperation w/children is never fun but as long as you stay as close as possible, and supportive of your kids, as well as maintaining a decent friendship with your X, you should be just fine. It may take a while but you will find your way. chances are you will enjoy your future just as, if not more than your past.
    Good LUCK SWEETY AND WE ARE NOT A WORLD AWAY,, JUST A FEW STROKES ON THE KEYBOARD AND A WORLD OF FRIENDS WILL APPEAR.
    No these are not womens clothes!! THEY ARE MINE, EVEN THE HEELS. (update 4/01/10) THEY ARE NOW ! ! !

  9. #9
    Gold Member MJ's Avatar
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    The reason? Because i admitted i like to dress as a woman sometimes!!!
    Something i thought i,d beaten before i got married, so i never told her about it, until it came back to haunt me later in life!!!
    funny how we all have wayyyy to much in common .
    i am the same as you . after 22 years of a wonderful marriage 3 children 1 adopted total 4 kids , i could not get rid of my demons and she found out pow it's all over ..

    but it was also a fresh start for me . i have made new friends found the courage to go full time ..Think of this has a new start in life

    hey Deb's
    your friends are a key stroke away ..
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  10. #10
    Aspiring Member joank's Avatar
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    I agree with bobi jean. Just stay close and supportive but move on.
    joank
    Southern California

  11. #11
    Aspiring Member Edyta_C's Avatar
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    re: All Over NOT!!

    We're here for you. Most of us have gone thru something similar in life. Please hang in there.

    Hugs Edyta

  12. #12
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    Thanks everyone for being here...
    I was in two minds whether to open up here really, but i,m glad i did now
    Thank you for your kind words and support

    I dunno what else to say really!!

    Thank you

  13. #13
    Member KayR's Avatar
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    Deborah Jane:
    Whereabouts in the world are you? Which continent? Maybe theres an organisation near you?
    [SIZE="4"][/SIZE]"You can have my stilletoes when you can prise them from my cold, dead feet"

  14. #14
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    Only one thing you can do Deb. Be happy being yourself. I'm proud to have you as a friend in any case.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  15. #15
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    DJ, just relax and take baby steps

    I went thru the separation divorce thing. All done 1 and 1/2 years ago. I feel for u! Hardest time in my life!

    I never really started serious CDing until I was separated, 10 years ago. I'm well past middle age and I'm having the CD time of my life!

    Just hang loose. What u want to do, where u want to go in your life, will come to u eventually! Meanwhile, just think. U have no limits on what u can do, except self imposed ones!

    I hope u will find happiness again. And soon!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  16. #16
    Platinum Member Angie G's Avatar
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    Not having gone though this I won' be much help but I'm sorry to get this news. life go 's on so you must build a new one it may take some time so be strong. and know we are here for you and love you hun.I don't know if it can help but if you would likk to talk you can PM me
    Angie

  17. #17
    Oldie but Goodie Mitzi's Avatar
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    Like so many who have/will respond here, I too almost went that route after 50+ years of marriage. Happily, we're still together, she realized life was much better with me, even with all my shortcomings.

    My wife made me tell our three adult "kids" and my sister about my dressing, as justification for her throwing me out... They were surprised, but no biggie. The point here is that, as much as I dreaded moving out, having them know was a relief, and made the situation more palatable.

    So if you feel your kids can accept it, tell them, you'll feel liberated, and it'll be easier going forward.

    Mitzi

  18. #18
    Junior Member SueAnncd's Avatar
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    I experienced the same thing and it takes a while to get over. Keep in contact with the kids and keep on as good terms as you can with your ex. Now I take advantage of the time alone to dress whenever I wish and even better now I can sleep in the nighties I have always yearned for.

    SueAnn

  19. #19
    Girl in disguise Emily Ann Brown's Avatar
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    MelindaG:


    Where am I ???? Right here where I always am.

    If Debs had been honest BEFORE getting married she probably wouldn't be getting a divorce....her now EX would have never said "I do".

    You just don't get it and never will. We set ourselves up for failure and heartache when we aren't honest in the beginning. And by the way, where are you dear? Debs didn't mention you being online with her all morning trying to be a friend and give her a shoulder to cry on.

    Yeah yeah Tamara, I know....I'm on probation again for picking a fight. Oh well. I love ya anyway.


    Emily Ann
    Last edited by Emily Ann Brown; 05-08-2008 at 12:07 PM.
    Living with a heel in each world.

  20. #20
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    Thanks again for your support
    My kids know about Debs and are ok with it..[i told em after we 1st split because my ex threatened too]
    At the moment i,m staying temporarly with a relative who also knows about Debs and is ok

    Until today, i kinda hoped things would straighten out between my ex and me, but i guess the letter means it,s permanant...No going back i guess!!!

    I,m just glad i,ve got friends here who understand me

  21. #21
    JoAnn MsJoann's Avatar
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    That sucks to hear your story. It's hard to try and figure out what females think about what we do. I know that their first reaction is shock. My girlfriend of 12 years knew over the 12 year span somewhat of what I was doing.
    Yes, I remember when she first found the tags from my bra/panty set. She thought there was another woman in my life.
    I was caught off-guard and had no choice to tell her what I was wearing underneath when she wasnt around.
    With time it had become a "cute" little part of my personality.
    It also has blossomed to where she knows I wear women's clothing...however...the real shock came when she saw a pic of me fully dressed.
    I wasn't the man that she knew. The shock was based on the fact that I was perhaps leading another lifestyle that I was hiding from her.
    We joke about it from time to time....she still doesn't understand why I do this...and she burys her head in the sand and doesn't want to understand.
    Time can heal and adjust lives. Maybe with luck, your wife will look at this differently.
    The best thing you can do now is be honest with her conveying your feelings.

  22. #22
    Aspiring Member Melanie R's Avatar
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    When I went through the same in 1979 (the judge gave me the custody of the two teen daughters in spite of my dressing), three months later I met my current wife who in our second month of marriage embraced Melanie with open arms. I know many other CD's who have found that special woman who did accept them. Do not give up hope. There is light at the end of that dark tunnel!

    Melanie
    I love being "gender gifted"! www.pmpub.com

  23. #23
    Oldie but Goodie Mitzi's Avatar
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    Melinda G...

    I'm with Emily...
    You just don't get it and never will. We set ourselves up for failure and heartache when we aren't honest in the beginning. And by the way, where are you dear? Debs didn't mention you being online with her all morning trying to be a friend and give her a shoulder to cry on.
    You've apparently never loved someone enough to delude yourself that you could quit CDing. So at the time, it was not being dishonest.

    BTW, your comments when I was going through my ordeal were callous and hurtful...

    Mitzi

  24. #24
    Senior Member StacyCD's Avatar
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    A lot of people who do not crossdress get divorced--sometimes more than once! Statistically, over 50% of marriages end in divorce and since I don't think that 50% of males crossdress people must be getting divorced for reasons unrelated to crossdressing. And of course there are some wives who happily live with crossdressing husbands. So I don't know if the divorce rate for crossdressers who tell (after marriage) is greater than the national average. Certainly, some marriages break up because of crossdressing and yours is a case in point. However, usually/occassionally/sometimes these marriages would have ended for some reason totally unrelated to crossdressing or crossdressing is simply the 'last straw'.

    More to the point, divorce is not fun and those who are unfortunate enough to have to go through it need support and encouragement. Just know that people survive divorce and some come out of the process better and even happier people! It certainly may be hard to see that possibility now but I have to believe it is true!

    Good luck on the next phase of your life.

  25. #25
    A married CD/tgirl in NJ flacindycd's Avatar
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    I'm sorry

    Sorry to hear hon, I too am in the same boat, except I 'm at the debating stage of telling her, I"m 54 married 32 yrs, 3 kids and scared silly of telling her...but I'm not sure how long I can stay this unhappy!!!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] A Jersey gurl looking for friends, http://360.yahoo.com/flacindycd

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