what to do

[annabellesmooth]

hi girls
im in a delemma
ive been cross dressing for yrs now
my prob is my partner isnt keen (he is gay im queer)
when we first meet and started to txt i said that i like crossdressing trannies n the femmene side (when in boy mode i think im manly) an he gave the impression the he dressed up . now it was a long distance relationship at first (he was in the philipines) well 3 yrs later he hasent dressed up n froned on my femmne side when i have i go to a frends place (she is post op) an have known me for a long time and has encouranged n helped me a lot i go there for the afternoon n night an shave down n dressup n we do girley things together (non sexual) very sensual thow the prob is that when i get home i get the third degree n treated like dirt... now ive stoped smokeing,come out to a few n changed my job to suite him
and now i think their is a scam going on and ive fallen in
do stay semi comefortable or go back to being able to dress when i like witch was voften
come on girls i need some advice ???
i think the high heel needs to be firmly planted
your thorts please...

[Amanda FAB]

Hi
"he is gay im queer" .. sorry, I dont understand the difference. Can you explain?

"now i think their is a scam going on and ive fallen in" ... what kind of scam?

Not wishing to be unhelpful, but reading between the lines it seems you are already uncomfortable within the relationship.

Why would anyone want to stay with someone who treats them as dirt? It doesn't really matter if you are gay/straight/queer or crossdresser /TS .. what matters is that in a relationship there should be respect for each other. You dont have it.
What is there for you to think about?

You dont really need advice as you plainly see what is happening in the relationship which it appears was built on the rocky foundation of deceit.

Get out of it, move on and live your life for you.

Best wishes.

[deja true]

Amanda's probably hit that nail right on the head, from what you tell us.

If you're happy with who you are and you're partner is not, then you're partner is what needs changing, not you.

Nobody here would put up with an abusive relationship if they didn't have to. Semi-comfortable? Are you kidding? Without the permanent bonds of kids or real love or even respect, what's the point of a relationship like that?

Get a life, hon! Get a real life! Get a life that makes you happy, not semi-miserable!

If your confident enough in yourself to label yourself 'queer', (meaning really out there and not caring what others think) then your brave enough and strong enough to stand up to a jealous, demoralizing partner.

Ain't no "semi" anything worth insult and abuse!

[TGMarla]

Amanda's right. If this guy's treating you like dirt, and lording over you, and telling you what to do, you already have your answer.

[rian]

Annable
If you think that this relationship is not working then then free yourself , even if you love him, we Cds love who we are , search your happiness with another one unless he accepts you as you are ......

[Chari]

Annabelle, It is YOUR life and YOUR choice! If you are not comfortable and confident in this relationship and do not see things getting better, it's time to make the choice and move on! Are you better off today than you were last month? Things could only get worse for you if you stay.
Enjoy your life, Chari

[melisss2u]

my advice would be to plant your high heels in a new location. why not stay with your other friend until you can work out where to go from here

[docrobbysherry]

The answer u seek, is written in your post to us.

[annabellesmooth]

thanks girls
its the comfermation i needed

love to all

[annabellesmooth]

to explain
he is gay, im queer
he,... only has eyes for men
me,.. i have eyes for all cd,tv,women,femmene gay guys
he is very straght in being gay, only dose this n not that
me ohh la la try it all baby
hugs n kisses to all
i feel much more empowerd
i, we are not alone

[yukiooy]

Hi,annabelle, すきです。

[DemonicDaughter]

to explain
he is gay, im queer
he,... only has eyes for men
me,.. i have eyes for all cd,tv,women,femmene gay guys
he is very straght in being gay, only dose this n not that
me ohh la la try it all baby
hugs n kisses to all
i feel much more empowerd
i, we are not alone

ummm... that makes you bisexual, doesn't it?

[sterling12]

DD beat me to it! I think your describing Bi-Sexual.

Now, if you mean that being "queer," means effeminate in The New Lexicon of your peer group. I would imagine you can be "queer," and Bi-sexual.

How well I know: "Finding a partner is easy!" "Finding a relationship is hard!" If this guy doesn't make you happy, move on. One of the biggest mistakes we make in our lives is sticking around and trying to change unsolvable situations. IT NEVER WORKS! You just have to determine if this particular situation is unsolvable.

I know there is quite a bit of prejudice in The male Gay Community against those males who do not present as masculine. They have this sad idea that the only way to be "Gay," is to present 100% male looking and acting all the time. My Group used to meet at a local GLBT Resort and I got "line and verse," on more than a few occasions. In one sense, I think we might be getting a bit ahead of our "Brothers." We have pretty much accepted the idea of a "spectrum of transgender." I think there is also a "Gay Spectrum," and Gay Folk should accept and embrace the idea. If your B.F. is one of those who can't, too bad for him as he will lose you. Here's a strategy; try to explain to him about the difference between gender and sexuality...maybe he will listen.

The choice is yours Darlin'. But remember that here you will always have people who will read and try to help. Have a Special Day!

Peace and Love, Joanie

[karynspanties]

Dump him and move on.

[annabellesmooth]

thanks to all the very specal people who have taken the time to reply to my delema
groop hug to all,....
tears of delight...

[Angie G]

Hun get rid of him and go your own way you don't have to live like that.
Angie