I see quite a few postings here about folks being unsure of whether to go out to mix and mingle in public because they are afraid they may not look good enough or be able to "pass". We have many excellent resources on how to do that, both on this site and elsewhere that explain , sometimes in detail, the mechanics of it all. This is all well and good but nothing substitutes for real experience. I used to have a friend who was into mountain climbing and scuba diving. He had all of the nesessary equipment and spent a great deal of money on having just the "right stuff" but had very little experience climbing or diving and until he really got "out there" he didn't know what it was all about. The same is true with regard to military heroes, who are most often reluctant. Their skills are more often than not honed on the battlefield in real life situations and this is how they earn their medals and the respect and gratitude of their countrymen.
This is likewise true with regard to dressing. We can have all of the "equipment" but unless we "field test" the look, we don't know how it will be received. It's not automatic by any stretch and even if we look like a million bucks, that doesn't necessarily pull off what we are trying to accomplish. When a product is first incepted, there is usually a prototype produced and trial marketed. Based on feedback, the product is modified until it becomes a viable commodity and then it is put on the general market and if it has real value, it does well in sales and provides a real ROI (return on investment) to it's creator.
Still, the willingness to do something and take a chance is required. When I first started working, the person who trained me said:"Let's do something, even if it's wrong." This was especially true when we had a new product and knew very little about it. What this means is that we learn by both our successes and failures.
While I'm not telling everyone to just go out there and get in people's faces with our dressing, I am saying give yourself a real chance. I used to obsess about it a lot and was very closetted but finally decided to take the leap of faith and get out there. I was very pleasantly surprised my first time out, despite my own misgivings. That doesn't mean I was the untimate CD the first time but it did give me enough confidence to continue to modify things and eventually become fairly decent looking. Still, I had much to learn and the appearance is only a small part of it compared to overall manner and bearing but these are the things we really learn in the "field" by experience.
Many times we feel we have to look absolutely "perfect" but this is not necessary or required. I've found that people respond to me better when I'm just being myself and not someone who is trying to pull off some kind of "act". Rather, what they see is just another person with perhaps a slightly different viewpoint. What this does is open the door for tolerance and acceptance of diversity and by our very nature we are ambassodors for the community whether we realize it or not.
If you remember the animated character Rainbow Brite, she was an orpan girl who was taken by an "unknown force" and transformed into Rainbow Brite. Her mission was to bring color to the world but her loving and caring attitude was the most prominant aspect. While we do not mine color crystals or have a color belt, are we really any different in our purpose? We bring color and life to a sometimes drab and monotonic world by being who we are, and I'm not just talking about M T F CD's, I'm talking about everyone in the community and it's really quite refreshing. We are all shining examples of acceptance, tolerance and diversity.
So, it's really not "rocket science", but is is about being who we are. Every positive experience brings us one step closer, especially if we get out there to the extent possible because this the the way we really learn about ourselves and others. Keep up the good work my friends.
