It's over

[JennyS.]

I'm a bit confused over this post, Tess. I guess I haven't been following the story so I just wonder why the animosity. Or did I just read it wrong?

I don't think anyone following your story is surprised at the divorce happening eventually... more surprised that the proceedings hadn't been started earlier.

But the timing is a bit suspect. Is it just a coincidence that it happened not too long after your family reunion -- during which, if my memory serves me correctly, she somehow got word of the meeting and arrived and insisted that your under-18 daughter leave with her?

From this distance, and as someone who has quite likely missed some key posts of yours, I have formed the impression that your ex-to-be is unhappy at the prospect that you might be happy. I think I saw a claim of "You ruined my life!" go by recently? Is there a bit of revenge being run out over there? Or am I mis-assessing, and this is just an, "MJ, I've been thinking about the situation, and as I have decided that reconciliation is not possible now, I believe it would be kinder to both of us if we were to let go of the situation and get on with our lives, time to start putting the old phase behind us." ?

What difference does the timing make? The one that crops to mind first has to do with legal custody of your youngest daughter, whom I think you said before is under-age. Another couple of years and that trauma would not have to be run through the court system. What is she offering in that regard? Is she trying for minimal access, "protect" your daughter from you as much as possible, or is she offering "No matter what the differences are between us, you are an important part of your daughter's life, and she should stay with you part of the time" ?

[ColleenCD]

MJ,

You have many friends here. Sorry to hear about the news. Be careful how far you reach into the Rum.

Extra love your way,

Colleen

[Majestyk's Lady]

Dear MJ,

I am sorry to hear about this..and that you are saddened by the outcome..perhaps in the back of your mind you have thought it might come to this but it always is a terrific blow when it finally arrives..

I am gladdened by the fact you have been reunited with your children and grandbaby and they will be a comfort to you..

Please keep your chin "up"..and know you are not alone..you have some wonderful friends here and it will pass..takes time..but your friends and family will see you through this...

You have great courage and you too shall step over this "obstacle" placed before you as you walk down your pathway in this life..

Bless your heart..

Take care,

Majestyk's Lady

[Wenda]

The others have said it all and said it well. Don't blame the dressing or yourself, or her. It's done. What you learn from it is what you can salvage and take away for another day. All the best, w.

[sandra-leigh]

I'm a bit confused over this post, Tess. I guess I haven't been following the story so I just wonder why the animosity. Or did I just read it wrong?

You are a bit confused about my post, I am a bit confused about your question, so things balance out


Thinking about my questions more, I see that although they were natural ones, for MJ to have answered in the posting could have required a break with MJ's practice of not criticizing her in public. That is a good ethical practice, and it was immoderate of me to have implicitly asked MJ to violate it.

The basic points remain: I can opine that IMHO it sounds as if MJ's wife would prefer to see MJ unhappy, but it would have been better if I had not implicitly asked MJ to confirm any such thing.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

Sorry for your loss MJ, as others have said you are among friends here.

[AKAMichelle]

Since I am going through a divorce at the moment also, I feel your pain. I am planning a road trip after my wife moves out.

Enfemme Road Trip West. Maybe we should join forces and drive twice as far away.

Michelle

[docrobbysherry]

That this is happening to u, just proves the old saying, " Bad things can happen to nice people". And there's no one here nicer than u r!

So many of us have suffered thru divorces. As I have. She was the only woman I've ever loved, (to date). I'm looking again. My divorce had nothing to do with CDing. And I suspect most divorces that r blamed on CDing, have other factors involved, too!

Some day I hope to have a drink with u, but I just finished a toast TO u. Rum, of course! I don't drink Coke!

Here's to u, MJ. And to the new chapter opening up in the story of your life!
CHEERS!

[kerrianna]

So sorry MJ.


I guess it's the finality of it that hurts the most huh?

In time, that may be a good thing, because you will move on, but you seem like a sensitive girl and I know how emotionally charged things like this are for us.

I hope your tomorrow is sunnier and brighter.

[MJ]

Again thank you all ,your the greatest

[Tamara Croft]

MJ I don't know what else to say

[Suzy Harrison]

Dear MJ - I'm so sorry you're going through such a painful time at this moment and I am thinking of you. Time will help to heal things ~ and you still have all of us on this site who love and care for you.

Suzy

[TxKimberly]

i should have told her from the start That i sometimes cross-dress back when . she found out and it did not go well ...today 3.5 years later i was served divorce papers ..
the sad part is i relay did love her.
i am sure as cd'r we all love our S.O yet can't tell her our secret ..but we trust our other half with our very life and bank book .
it's over because i kept this hidden .
it's a sad day. for me .
Time to break out the rum
rant off

MJ, I am so sorry you must go through that kind of pain. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy let along a good and caring person like you.
Lots of hugs from Texas,
Kimberly

[Melanie R]

MJ,

I feel your pain. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

Hugs,

Melanie

[cinderellaman]

So sorry for your loss MJ.Things can only get better from here

[Sandra]

MJ

I think it's nearly all been said so for now I'll send you loads of

[Cayce]

Sorry to hear this MJ. Stay strong. This one's on me...



-Cayce

[MarciManseau]

You have our sympathy and love. We only wish you were closer so we could hug you and comfort you. I know things will be better for you soon. You're a lovely girl, so someone will come along and see that, then love you for who you really are.

Hugs, Marci and Julie

[Jenny Doolittle]

Hi M.J. I know we dont know each other accept for possible the occasional comment to a post but I do feel for you and wish you the very best. The old saying about when a door closes a window opens and I truly believe that is true.

The great thing about these chat rooms is the support.

Good luck in the future and I do hope we can get to know each other better.

[Sheena Pink]

Mj, sending you cyberhugs. So sorry.

[Vivian Best]

I'm truly sorry for you MJ! Life's reality is that some women just can't accept us and it makes it worse when we truly love them.

[Lissa Stevens]

You are where myself and a lot of others are terrified of ending up. You have all my thoughts and prayers.

[Tomara]

Hi MJ , I just wanted you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I am sorry for the you have to deal with , just remember you have the support of all of your friends here. Try to keep a positive thought. Tomara

[debbeelee1]

Good luck to you MJ!

[Deborah Jane]

Hey sis, i understand exactly what you,re going through
Keep strong hon and you,ll make it to the other side
We,re with you all the way!!