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Thread: What is an acceptable level of acceptance?

  1. #1
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    What is an acceptable level of acceptance?

    In a recent question, I asked about your biggest worries as a CD, and I would like to thank everybody who responded to that question. Ref: http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...ad.php?t=82791


    As a follow-up, and considering that the overwhelming number of you who cited the theme of being caught and/or not being accepted, I would like to ask the following:

    What would you consider an acceptable level of acceptance toward your CD'ing?

    a) From your SO
    b) From your family
    c) From your friends
    d) From society
    Last edited by Emily Anderson; 05-22-2008 at 02:30 PM. Reason: Trying to add some clarity

  2. #2
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    I think it depends a lot on the individual person and their own level of confidence and self acceptance.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  3. #3
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    Indeed, I'm not looking for an absolute answer, but individual's thoughts on what they think is a good level of acceptance.

  4. #4
    Tricia Dale tricia_uktv's Avatar
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    Emily, can you drop down just a bit, my brain hurts with other questions as well? Are you talking about acceptance by society or acceptance by family and friends?

    Hugs
    I strut my stuff, I feel so proud,
    I need to shout, to scream out loud,
    I am Tricia I am she,
    I am who I want to be

    http://tricia-dale.blogspot.com/

  5. #5
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    Tricia,

    Good point, it's a bit vague. I really meant all four: SO, family, friends, and society, but I guess that's a lot to answer in one question.

    Anybody want to write a dissertation?

  6. #6
    The One True Diva KandisTX's Avatar
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    An acceptable level of of acceptance for me would be that I could wear what I wanted, when I wanted, without fear of any sort of negative reaction from anyone, anywhere.

    Kandis
    Someone once told me "Put on Your big girl panties and deal with it". If they only knew, I WAS ALREADY WEARING THEM.

    I wear the bras and panties so my wife doesn't have to.

    WARNING:Any institutions or individuals using this site or any of its associated sites for studies , projects or any other reasons You DO NOT have permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current and future. If you have or do, it will be considered a violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.

  7. #7
    :) Post-Op Hippie Chick CharleneT's Avatar
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    For me, in a perfect world, I would consider just ignoring us fine. I do not expect everyone to agree or approve, but I do want them to just leave us alone. NO weird comments, asking us to leave, beating people up etc... Treat us as they now treat most gay people. They are just there, very few people in the US now point at obviously gay people or stare in disbelief. When I was young they still did that. I realize that there is a lot yet to go in the road to fully accepting gays ( what happened to Mathew Sheppard being a good example of how far we haven't come) I believe that our society (USA) will get there. From what I've read, in europe and some other places, they really do not bother CD's. That's all I want, let us live and prosper on out own.

    C.

  8. #8
    Tricia Dale tricia_uktv's Avatar
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    Emily, I'll try,

    I think, for me, that the only way forward is total acceptance by everyone. I am out and accepted (mostly) by society so thats a start.

    Friends all know and, to be frank, couldn't care

    Work colleagues - thats an interesting one. Am in the process of slowly and carefully coming out there. No hitches as yet but its early days.

    Family - adult relatives including Mother all know but never want to see me dressed (they may get a shock one day). Children all know - I have sixteen year old twins who seem to be getting used to the idea - but I'm their Dad and a 19 year old who thinks its cool.

    So can only dress away from home but that also gives it an extra edge.

    Is that enough for a dissertation?
    I strut my stuff, I feel so proud,
    I need to shout, to scream out loud,
    I am Tricia I am she,
    I am who I want to be

    http://tricia-dale.blogspot.com/

  9. #9
    Arell Roberta Lynn's Avatar
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    If your talking friends and family. They don't have to like it. they don't have to participate.

    Just accept that it's who I am, Accept that it is an integral part of me. Accept that I'm not going to change.

    To me that is acceptance, it's a solid foundation to build on, anything beyond that is a plus.

  10. #10
    Member bobi jean's Avatar
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    Live and let live
    to each his/her own/
    Basically,, just to be accepted as much so as anyother human.
    I know that there are peopls in the world that would kill or mame or otherwise do harm just because you are (you choose) anything. You name it: just because you are
    black,
    white,
    yellow, or any of the other colors associated with the human race, but not of their race.
    How many differant religions are there that have been at war with each other since the beginning of time?
    I have even wittnessed a man years ago that crushed another mans esphogis (sp) just because he looked at his girlfriend.
    We will never be totally accepted in this world but neither will anyother form of life, but I would like to see us all GET ALONG.
    No these are not womens clothes!! THEY ARE MINE, EVEN THE HEELS. (update 4/01/10) THEY ARE NOW ! ! !

  11. #11
    Fearlessly Independent RebeccaLynne's Avatar
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    Acceptance, Tolerance, or Accomodation

    Emily, these are my thoughts on the subject.

    I will speak only to the matter of an SO's acceptance, given that person is the only one with which I'm intimate, and knows of my CD'ing proclivity.

    I'd classify her as tolerant. By that I mean, she has seen me en femme, doesn't object to my doing it, but doesn't feel comfortable with me doing so in her presence.

    I feel that she is less than accepting, as my desire to enjoy at least some of our time together while I'm dressing remains unfulfilled.

    So what I seek is accomodation. We spend our leisure time playing chess, watching DVD's, preparing and enjoying meals, and just plain being companions.

    And I'd really appreciate her accomodating my preference for CD'ing while so engaged.

    Is it really too much to ask?

    I don't think so.

  12. #12
    Woman at heart Veronica 1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KandisTX View Post
    An acceptable level of of acceptance for me would be that I could wear what I wanted, when I wanted, without fear of any sort of negative reaction from anyone, anywhere.

    Kandis
    I agree.
    Sister will you…
    Make believe…
    Play dress up…
    Let me be the Princess…
    Tell me stories in the dark…
    Always be my friend?

  13. #13
    Bilinda the housekeeper! Bilinda's Avatar
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    I would only care about my SO. Anyone else I don't need, want or expect any understanding at all.
    Don't put lipstick on dry lips unless you want it to stay on for 3 days!

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    Being able to go out anywhere, anytime and no one taking much notice.
    Just being able to go out and be myself!!

  15. #15
    Silver Member DanaR's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bilinda View Post
    I would only care about my SO. Anyone else I don't need, want or expect any understanding at all.
    I feel the same as Bilinda. My SO is accepting, so I can do almost anything that I would like to do.
    Dana Ryan

  16. #16
    Member Sandygal's Avatar
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    I would like to accepted in society. That way my SO wouldn't be embarresed if anybody found out.

  17. #17
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    A, B, and C even though I only have A at the moment I could care less what strangers think of me. However I strongly doubt B would happen and C could probably only happen to a certain degree.

  18. #18
    Junior Member jenalex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Emily Anderson View Post
    What would you consider an acceptable level of acceptance toward your CD'ing?

    a) From your SO
    b) From your family
    c) From your friends
    d) From society
    acceptance from family and friends
    tolerance from society
    love from SO (acceptance isn't enough)


  19. #19
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    I used to live in the back woods of Pennsylyania and in the three city area I lived there were maybe 4-5 african american families and most of the people around simply ignored them. I was not one of those people not only did I not ignore them they were close friends. Being that I have seen and hated that type of predjudice I would have to say D I have come to believe that if everyone accepted everyone else then we would all have a better world. I don't delude myself in thinking it will ever happen but total acceptance of everyone is a major part of my world.


    (To get to my world make a right at the rainbow if you see the unicorn you have gone too far)
    Be yourself society doesn't know that there is no such thing as being normal.

    If you can't find the silver lining make your own.

  20. #20
    Girlie boy boy2girl31's Avatar
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    Another thought

    If we don't expect total acceptance how will we ever get it.
    Be yourself society doesn't know that there is no such thing as being normal.

    If you can't find the silver lining make your own.

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