Nature (from birth)
Nurture (learned)
A bit of both
Neither/Other
Nature or Nurture
During recent therapy sessions the concept of 'Nature' vs 'Nurture' came up. That is, are my TG/CD tendencies a learned behaviour (Nurture), possibly in response to childhood trauma, or a genetic or hereditary trait (Nature).
I thought a quick straw poll here would be enlightening.
For more details on "Nature vs. Nurture" see Wikipedia.
Have fun!
Nikki.
Last edited by Nikki K; 06-17-2008 at 02:30 PM. Reason: Improve clarity around the definition of "Nurture".
Nikki
A young girl asks a wise old woman;
"How does one become a butterfly?",
With a twinkle in her eye the old woman replies,
"You must be willing to give up being a caterpillar".
I,ve got no idea where it came from!!!
I just know it,s something i need/want to do!!
I voted nature because that's were it came from but it's been nutured over the years.
I wish someone could tell me definitively.
Although I was the product of a mother who was trying for the third time to have a daughter, there was never anything in the way my parents brought me up that would have encouraged me to be a CD. Perhaps I was supposed to have been my mother's daughter but that silly Y chromosome got in the way. Who is to say? But my desire to be as a woman at times does not stem from anything but that part of my brain that sees women and thinks, if not for silly gender politics, I could be wearing something like that.
Since my urge didn't begin until after I was 50, maybe u should have included another catagory for me: Fetish.
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
I voted nature because I remember wanting so much to be a girl or to dress as one ever since I was very young.
Sherrie Lynn Pall
Sometimes I make sense and that frightens me.
Please don't let me be the last post on this thread
Hi , My vote was nature, I dont think at 6 or 8 years old ( the first time for me) anyone knows that they want to be a crossdresser , so I would have to say it is likely genetic. I also think by regularly crossdressing it is somewhat nurtureing the want or need to continue .Tomara
Last edited by Tomara; 06-13-2008 at 08:27 PM. Reason: spelling
Nature for me!
Nikki,
Good Thread!
I voted "Nature", I can't remember ever not wanting to be a girl, I always played with the girls
and hardly ever associated with the boys, jacks and hopscotch were my games along with dolls and playing house.
Paula Rae
[SIZE="1"]Member: Diablo Valley Girls[/SIZE]
I voted for both. Having a Medical Research background, I suspect that a lot of our nature is from birth, but nurture also plays a role. How we grow up does help shape our perspective both physical and mental.
Scientist say that if you cloned a perfect replica of Aldof Hitler today, he would not be the same person when he grew up than the original was. That is is the Nurture aspect.
We may start off with a more fem brain structor, but items like if we had sisters, brothers, both, single mom, can affect how and when we start CDing and etc. If you only had older brothers, you may have started later in life than if you had two older sisters where you could try on their clothes or they found you out and gave you help early in life.
I say its both, I had situations at the age that I started dressing which makes me believe this. I was curious about dressing before I was made to wear a dress for my cousin that needed to be sewed and at the time we where the same size in height and clothing and from that day the journey stated. This includes events like my mother saying things while clothes shopping! All the time I would hear "I wish you where a girl, the clothing is much prettier" those are just 2 of the events.
No question in my mind, NATURE!!! There was absolutely nothing in my upbringing that was either the genesis or perpetuator of my transgender feelings. What on earth would lead a child of 4 or 5 years old to go to bed and pray to wake up as a girl and to imagine all that would follow from that magical transformation? I'll tell you what it was, NATURE! I am convinced of this to the essence of my being. It is what it is.
Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)
I voted both. I've kinda known since I was 10 or so and think that would be nature but my parents were traditional and I needed to break free from them before I dared to explore my femininity.
God please tell me. Family raised in poverty (seven kids)and lots of arguing (I don't recall). I was maybe three or four when I went to live with mothers parents. There I had my first dressing experience. It was grandma's house dress. She represented security and love. But I was pretty attached to grandpa to. Is that why I dress ? I don't know, as my adult life is pretty good. So nurture.......possibly ?
One thing that I can say is when my spouse and I grew apart, intimently, the CD came in like gang busters. Maybe I'm onto something here. Sorry to get so heavy. But if it helps someone.
I answered Nature because I think it's mostly Nature, but I believe it's really a combination of both (I'm one of those anal Information Technology people so if I were doing the poll, I would have had 16 categories with categories like 80% Nature, 20% Nuture and no one would have answered the poll at all
As others have noted, this is a very interesting thread. I think most of us wondered where this "gift" came from and most of us can't really explain it. There's usually no "ah ha" moment where we can say "oh, yes, that's why I love dressing up in women's clothes, of course." Sometimes, we back into explanations, but I don't know how valid those are.
Linda Marie Daniels
I'm with DRS. Fetish is nurture.
I'm a big Learning Theory fan. I think we can generally find the roots of our fetishs in some learning sequence. Remember that both Classical and Operant conditioning can happen without our active participation/knowledge.
I'm not sure science has enough objective information to support the genetic etiology. In my experience, most CDs seem to have had some experience that connected CDing to pleasure, or at least pain relief.
But, since I do believe there is a genetic component to male homosexuality, I am willing to entertain the idea that some CDing is gentically driven. Or, at least, it is a learned response to something that is genetically driven.
Sadly, there is very little objective data in the scientific literature. Most of what is published is anecdotal and/or selfserving.
The very earliest psychologists were call Introspectionists. They looked into themselves and decided that what they saw in themselves applied to the rest of mankind. Thank God more objective scientific reasoning took over. I bring this up because much of what we read about CDing is written from the perspective of one individual applying his/her own situation and sensitivities to the rest of us. We can certainly learn from each other. But, we all have our own different learning experiences. And, while we often share traits and tastes, we are, in the end, quite different from one another.
I voted for both, because I think most of us are that way. I am sure I am. I guess I did have some childhood trauma, since I remember my dear old grandma putting one of my sisters dresses on me to play in. On more then one occasion too! But I really didn't care, because I was playing with only girls anyway! This was when I was five or six years old!
As I got older nature took over. I tried other feminine garments and liked them. By the time I was 10 I was really hooked. I would have gladly gone to school in a dress and panties! Wasn't allowed to, of course!Don't know what a therapist would say about me, and don't really care! Don't want to be a female, just want to dress like one!!
Older age is wonderful!!
Sissy/Stephanie
Lady on the outside, but man underneath!
I voted nature because I had these feelings at a very young age. I distinctly remember wishing I was a girl when I was younger. My best friend in grade school was a girl and I was never a traditionally "masculine" boy (I had absolutely no interest in sports, scouts, etc.).
Plus, I didn't have a traumatic or dysfunctial childhood. So if not nature I have no idea where it came from.
I voted for both, and I'll tell you why. I think it's possibly a case of one or the other depending on the individual, but you didn't offer that choice.
I know for myself, my earliest remembered occurrences of CD are around age four. It's that way for many Gurls. This happens so early in life, can't imagine how it would be a "learned" activity.
Conversely, a lot of Gurl's start around the onset of puberty or sometimes later, it's often related to adolescent auto-sexual activity. So, that's a case to be made for "Nurture."
Doc relates a late life CD, and it does occasionally happen. At least it gets told around here in anecdotal accounts. I would guess that it's been suppressed for years with late onset, and since we don't know how early, you could make a case for "either" with this situation.
There's a third theory about a "nurture/propensity." The idea is that you are born with the "propensity" to CD but it takes some type of learned activity to bring it out.
Since this is the first poll I've ever seen, and we aren't being very scientific, let us leave this one in the realm of, "Maybe we're all different and each case unique." However, it's pretty darn interesting. This has the potential to get some very thought provoking responses.
Peace and Love, Joanie
nature - I can't say I've ever had much in the way of positive reinforcemnt.
I do recall seeing transgendered folks on phil donahue's talk show when I was a tyke and knowing that is where I fit in, but I also knew that it was largely condemned and not understood by society. it's kind of funny how perceptive one can be as a child. I knew from the start that it was something I had to internalize and hide.
Voted "both," but who the hell knows. All I know is that with a fairly absent father and TWO to-die-for gorgeous older sisters it was a pretty easy call for anyone taking a look from above. From day one it seems, all I wanted was to be as feminine as my sisters... it was as natural as taking my next breath.
And breathe I do!
Robyn
When lost, alone, or blue I know I can always get through the day, for I've always another shade of lipstick to make things right!
Oh, nature, nature, nature for sure!! Nature makes gorgeous things. I wonder for those of us who developed later in life we simply failed to nurture our nature properly. Speaking as someone who recalls dressing up at the age of 4 or 5 I'm convinced it can only be nature, which for me means it is exactly the spot-on, right thing - and oh boy am I nurturing my natural femininity now!!
What a fantastic question that was, really got my brain cells firing away - thanks.
Love Sarah...
I would say that it has to be in your Nature to start with and then you begin to Nurture it as you go through your life subject to opportunity, this could be done consciously or subconsciously.
I do not really see what trauma in your childhood has to do with it as i would have thought if anything it would turn you against it not towards it, but then i do have a thing about so called therapist`s that think they know why you do things yet they have never experience it themselves, ( no doubt read it in a text book ).
joanne
Nature. My thoughts and feelings as for back as I can remember have been female. I know I was born male, but that just didn't fit to how I felt inside and I've never tried to figure it out. I was never pressured or told who I was supposed to be and am very thankfull I wasn't. Who I am today, is who I always wanted to be.
Lanore
[SIZE="3"]Lanore[/SIZE]
I voted nature because I have felt "different" from "normal" males all my life although I wasn't sure what that difference was at first.
In hindsight and from old photographs I now know that I was quite girly looking and acting. Not deliberately, it was just me being myself before I learned to conceal such things.
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