Ok so how did it begin.

[cdkelsi]

This is just another one of those things that makes me think why, how, and all that. I mean what was it that one day a boy and I started to think or feel or act like a girl and then say hey I want to put that skirt on or who I wish I could wear those heels!!!!
How and why it all begins I am not sure nor will I ever.
All I know is that when I was 11-12 I was playing around in my sisters room and one thing led to another. She had these awesome looking tan cafe boots that just had me wondering....so I went for it. I got them on and loved how it felt so of course I went to try other things out. The thing that really got me was a satin floral skirt she had with a matching top....wow...I loved how it felt looked and all. God I wish I was smaller. I really do believe that if I was about a 2 feet shorter that I would have gone down the road of no turning back along time ago and did what I had to become a woman outright.

Ok enough babble. What did it for you???

[kateyliz]

I have no idea how it began because I can't remember a time when I didn't have these feelings. Hugs, Kathy

[TGMarla]

Oddly enough, it started out for me with an "Ugly" contest. It was homecoming, I was in 7th grade, and there was this contest to see who could look the most gruesome. We had a family friend who was able to show me about stage makeup, and I let my imagination do the rest.

And I had this great idea: I would use pantyhose to make my legs look like the skin was peeling and falling off. I'd cut flaps in the hose and let it hang off my legs that way. My mother assured me that it didn't work that way, but I wouldn't listen. I was 12 years old, and I knew everything, after all. So I tried it, and it didn't work. Go figure. But I sure liked the way pantyhose felt on my legs! I tried it again after that, and again, and again. Soon I was hooked, and trying on other items of feminine attire. Now look at me. I'm a hopeless crossdresser.

I blame it on everyone else, of course!

By the way, I didn't win the contest. I came in 2nd because another guy used scotch tape and axle grease to make it look like he'd put his eye out. Nasty!

[Lidia_tv]

I always wanted to have a sister...never had one, though.

[nekrina]

My mom left for USA when I was 10 (I'm originaly from Slovenia, Europe).
Maybe I felt like I missed a woman's presence around the house and her closet was still full of her clothes and shoes which haven't been used for so long.
I guess that kinda pushed me into it, but I could be wrong.

[Ruth]

It's funny how people think that particular events pushed them into CDing. I think it's there in your head from the beginning. Something always triggers it, but that same trigger would not work on another person if the CDing behavior was not there.
I don't think there was a particular 'trigger' event for me. I had the urge for as long as I can remember, and it was just a case of seeking out the opportunity

[bah-bah-bobbie]

It's funny how people think that particular events pushed them into CDing. I think it's there in your head from the beginning. Something always triggers it, but that same trigger would not work on another person if the CDing behavior was not there.

If people could accept that simple truth, the "why an I like this" threads would be cut in half.

Back on subject; I remember playing with fingernail polish when I was 3 maybe 4. I don't know why, I just wanted to paint my nails. I asked my grandmother who let me use her polish if there was something wrong with me, because boys don't do that stuff. She assured me no. But my long time love has been high heel shoes. Especially open toe. Every oppurtunity I got when noone was home or even wrapped up in a tv show, I would try on every pair of heels in the closet at least once each. It took over twenty years for my dressing to progress beyond that.

[tricia_uktv]

I can remember putting on my Mothers stage dress (ridiculous) when I was four, I can remember swapping coats with a girl friend when I eas six. I can remember ... But I can't actually ever remember any real male longings. Funny world?

[Phyliss]

After my Mother "passed" when I was 9 my dad kept her clothes in her dresser for the longest time, kinda like a shrine to her, ( he loved her so much). I missed her terribly and the proximity of her clothing and "dusting powder" became my "trigger"
The first time I finally summoned up the courage to actually reach into her dresser and touch something. I felt almost an electric shock as my world changed in that mioment, and I just KNEW I had to try on something.

[Alice B]

I have no idea. Just started all of a sudden a few years ago.

[susan2010]

I don't remember the very first time, but I was irresistably drawn to my sister's petticoat when I was 4 or 5. I just had to put it on whenever I could get away with it.
Susan1974

[onowic]

It began just this past couple of months for me, and for the first time last night I went through the wife's side of the closet (with her permission of course) and tried a few things on. It was only for a few minutes, and I didn't stay in any one outfit very long, and I didn't know if I "matched", but I didn't feel ridiculous like I was afraid, or perhaps hoping, I would.

I know that growing up I would be hit with bouts of "girl envy", but there were definate "glad I'm a guy" moments as well. I was never into the rough boy play but I was also sick and on the frail side as I kid and was definately the smallest kid on the block so being on the losing side of the battle seemed a good enough explanation for me as to why i wasn't like "the other guys". I was also my "mother's kid", but that wasn't neccssarily as great as it sounds since she was more of a career oriented, over-achiever type woman than the nurturing mother kind. Looking back I really can't see an effiminate role model in my life, per se, but I do remember feeling like I could belong in the "girls club" too, if I was just allowed in.

Why now? I THINK it's becausee recently work, extended family, and general life pressures seemed to rain down on me at the same time. Things were hard on my SO as well, as we'd just gone through the final stage of pregnancy and had our second child. Even my hobbies, distinctly guy hobbies, seemed to turn on me. There were so many peak highs, like my son being born, and then crashing lows with extended family and work, that I was on an emotional roller coaster and alot of it was out of my control, which is REALLY hard for a guy. The past year has been really hard on me, but I was living through it. Then things got more on an even keel with the family and my SO entered the happiest, most perfect time of her life (her words) and while things were better work was still killing me with stress. That's when, even though I was happy for my SO and it felt good that I was a big part of providing that safety and security for her, I was hit with jealousy as well.

Since I work from home I have a front seat to the life of a stay-at-home mom, and since I'm here and can help in a pinch I get a pretty good taste of it as well. I looked at my career and even though I consider myself successful and better off than I expected or could have hoped for, I seriously analyzed myself and the pros and cons and came to the conclusion that I was TOTALLY SCREWED by my "assigned" gender role. Now that I've had both experiences, I would pick "stay-at-home" over "career", as long as I had the security of a great partner of course.

Since I became the "man" I am because that's what I was supposed to do, and if I had known and was giving a choice in the matter and it was "ok" I think I would have opted for the other gender role, it pretty much snowballed from there into a rexamination of my inner self, I guess. I still want to be the husband and father, and while I would LOVE to tell my career to go to hell and stay home and raise the kids that really isn't possible. However my SO has helped me to open up personally and emotionally since almost the day we met (we didn't do that in my family) and I now feel there is more to me than what I have made of myself following the standard gender program.

SOOO... long story short (I know, too late... ) I'm seeing if this will do anything for me. I think I've mostly gotten over the initial fear and guilt and I am encouraged, although I hate what I'm doing to the wife. We'll just have to see how it goes.

[carhill2mn]

When I was about 8 yrs. old, I tried on one of my mother's silk blouses. It fit me like a dress! I loved how it felt. I soon found her satin wedding dress and strappy high heels and I was hooked!

[docrobbysherry]

A neighbor moved, and left several boxes with us to take to Goodwill. The neighbor was a "she", and just about my dress and shoe size! I looked thru the items she left, in case there was something my wife or daughter could use, and so it began----

[Jilmac]

I've mentioned in numerous threads how it all started for me but I'll say it again because you are a relative newbie and probably didn't see any of my previous threads.

I started at age 7 on a dare from a cousin. He dared me to put on a girls panties and dress. I was scared but did it because even at that young age I wouldn't turn down a dare. I loved the way the panties felt against my skin and when I saw how pretty I looked in the dress, I thought how lucky girls are that they can wear pretty dresses.

I had three older sisters and plenty of girls clothes to experiment with and so for another eight years I would try on various items of my sisters' clothing. When I was 15 my second sister died in a freak accident and in my grief I wore her clothes to be with her spirit. Wearing her clothes put me into a whole different state of mind, I could cry and not be ashamed. I wasn't held to some expectation that boys were considered weak if they showed emotion.

I have been dressing ever since, mostly in the closet because of disapprovals of others. I'm 63 now and out of the closet and proud that I can dress in either male or female clothes and be comfortable with myself.

[matilda]

I was about 12 and shopping with my mother. we went into the ladies department and she was looking for some bras. I was captured right then and there. When ever I went into a store from then on, I had to walk through the womans setion and check out the bras and lingerie. I was about 16 when I started experimenting with my sisters and mothers lingerie. I stopped for years, but always had the urge, especially shopping I couldn't help but walk through the womans departemnt and check out the bras and lingerie. Now at age 57 I have started wearing what i want. My wife mostly tries to ignore what I do.

[bah-bah-bobbie]

...and for the first time last night I went through the wife's side of the closet (with her permission of course)...However my SO has helped me to open up personally and emotionally since almost the day we met (we didn't do that in my family)...although I hate what I'm doing to the wife. We'll just have to see how it goes.

If you don't mind my asking, how is the wife dealing with your issues? She sounds very supportive and open minded but your last line raises the red flag.

A neighbor moved, and left several boxes with us to take to Goodwill. The neighbor was a "she", and just about my dress and shoe size! I looked thru the items she left, in case there was something my wife or daughter could use, and so it began----

Many a yard sale I have scoured hoping for such a treasure trove.

I was about 12 and shopping with my mother. we went into the ladies department and she was looking for some bras. I was captured right then and there. When ever I went into a store from then on, I had to walk through the womans setion and check out the bras and lingerie.

My mom liked my opinion and said I have a good eye for color, so she would not go shopping without me. She was a carreer woman which I guess explains why I look at the casual and business dresses and of course shoes. Also department store ads in the sunday newspaper during winter and spring hollidays. No better time to find sexy shoes and frilly dresses.

[jackie_p]

For me, it was after my father remarried and I had access to my
step sisters things. Her cheerleader outfit was just too cute and
way too inviting to not try on. I'm sure I had the feeling before
that but trying on that first outfit around 8 or 8 years old was my
hook. Wish I could still get into that outfit...LOL.

[whitelace]

There were so many signs and signals I received as a child all pointing towards my obvious obsession with the feminine form, from my pencil renderings of models in lingerie, my collection of special items IE clothing accessories ,perfumes , magazines anything that hinted femininity I treasured. One particular incident which stands out from childhood was a beautiful summer day when no one was home. I came out of the shower with one towel wrapped tightly around my touche the other wrapped around my head the way I had seen women in the movies do ,,,the little wiggle walk came natural and I felt totally wonderful . I was completely aware of the gift and thrilled at the same time, I'm thinking I was between 10 & 12 yo.
I lived not far fom NYC and by time I was 16 I personally adopted the streets as my own parade ground the rest is history or should I say "herstory"
anyway i enjoyed sharing this with you all hugs....lacie

[dawn-sussex]

My first experience was also my earliest memory - when I was 4 years old, my sister dressed me in her tutu, and when my mother saw me told my sister "not to do it again as he might want to do it more!"!
My next memory of dressing was when I was 13 when we visited a YHA holiday camp, and I got hijacked by a group of the women to dress up as Cleopatra for an Egyptian themed evening! Did I enjoy it? What do you think!
That awakened my interest and when we got home I remember putting on my sister's bra and two piece suit. I continued to dress in secret until I got married, when it stopped for some seven years.
When my wife got pregnant with our second child she went off sex, and so I bought her a nice bra, french knickers and stockings and suspenders. She said she didn't want to wear them and when I tried to persuade her she said "if I liked them so much why don't you could wear them?" That's when the old feelings came back, and 28 years later, they are stronger than ever!
So here's to the next 28 years!

[Angie G]

I found some things it the attic where we lived a five family house. @ age around 12 and tried them on that was that.
Angie

[gagirl1]

well, the first time was when i was about 10 or 11 trying on a pair of my mom's stockings. i liked how they felt, and did it a couple more times, but that was that until about a year ago. i was going to get my little sister her first thong for her 16th birthday but decided i would try it on, see what all the fuss was about. needless to say i loved it and wore it almost every day. fast forward a year to my grandfather's death. it hit me like a ton of bricks that life is too short to be unhappy or afraid to try new things. so i started doing research, found this forum, and it's been downhill ever since.

oh, and my sister got these really gross yellow xxxxL granny panties for her birthday instead. they were a hit.

[stevie b]

Simple for me, I believe I was born this way. Now I have accepted it I looove it
xx

[Rachaelb64]

I always felt 'different' with me its was 12/13 but I do remember playing dress up earlier than that, it did help my best friend at the time was a girl who lived across the road.

[StephanieH]

[SIZE="3"]For me, 4th grade boys' beauty pageant at school. I won that sucker too. We dressed as girls that morning at school, wigs, dresses, the whole works, and we kept our outfits on all day - that was truly the day I can point back to and say, "yep, that was it."

Take care and God bless! [/SIZE]