Jumping Closets

[Tristan]

So I texted the Captain about this earlier and he thought it might be a good thing to bring up here. I started a new job Monday through a temp agency. Because of the way it was set up and that the agency is my employer, the company I work for does not know I'm transgender. To be honest I'm not sure even the job agent I worked with realizes I am trans. But to be very clear on the paperwork I turned in I used my legal gender status (blah) and showed them my id with my legal gender status as well.

Back home, no one at my workplace knew or knows that I'm trans. I kept it very hush hush even though I had started dressing full time male and started hormones.

Now I find myself in the opposite closet... No one at my workplace knows I was born female and just accept me as male. Which don't get me wrong is fricking great in a lot of ways, but in others ways I have this fear of being "found" out. It's a very weird feeling. It's dumb things like if I get caught using the stall sitting down too much will the other guys suspect? I only refer to Mark as my roommate so I'm sort of hiding that I'm gay too even though I'm sure that they suspect it. I come off as a pretty girlie guy.

Anyway it's weird how different the two sides of the fence are. The good news is here if they find out they can't fire me on that cause but they can just fire me without reason. But on the big other hand it's so awesome to just be treated male without any awkward or weirdness resulting from them knowing I'm trans.

So... has anyone else found themselves living in two different closets?

[Felix]

All I can say for ya Hun is I'm so pleased for ya xx Felix

[sandra-leigh]

but in others ways I have this fear of being "found" out. It's a very weird feeling. It's dumb things like if I get caught using the stall sitting down too much will the other guys suspect?

As a GM, it isn't something I ever pay attention to -- if someone is using the stall, I assume they may well need to sit. I also don't pay attention to whether someone always uses the stall or not. (But keep in mind that I'm MTF and frequently underdressed, so I'm no stranger to stalls myself.)

If it becomes a problem, you could consider getting a "fart bag", and thereby establish yourself as someone who has a Reason for sitting down.

[CaptLex]

So... has anyone else found themselves living in two different closets?

Not yet, but I've always wondered what it would feel like if everyone saw me as male and had no idea of my trans history. I think it would probably constantly be in the back of my mind that someone might find out . . . and then what?

I came out and started transitioning at the place I still work, so everyone there knows I'm trans and, even though people are generally accepting, I often think it would be great to just be seen as male - without the looks and whispers. And I think that if years down the line they still see me as trans and not male, I may want to look for a different job. But I don't know anything for sure - it's just stuff I think about.

I hope people at your new job just see you as a good worker and an asset to the company, without concerns about your gender status or sexual orientation - and if they do find out either, I hope it's never an issue.

[mike47]

Tristan,
As a male I can honestly say I never pay attention if someone uses the stall or urinal. I don't think you have anything to worry about truthfully. I guess I would have to say if someone said something to me I would through the ball back in their court by asking why are they eye balling me all the time. Then if someone was to ask on the side I would just say that my mom taught me and it is easier for me. I do know guys like that.

[ZenFrost]

That's sort of the conundrum about being trans. With many gays, the final goal is to get out of the closet, but with many TGs, the goal is to be in a different closet than when they started. I know I've had to be in all sorts of weird situations: people who know me as female, people who know me as male, people who know me as trans, people who don't know what I am and can't figure it out... sometimes it's not really appropriate to tell people your background (for the same reasons one would be in any closet anyway). It's all icky, and I don't really know what to say besides just be careful 'cause transphobic people can be jerks when they find out, and a peachy acquaintance can turn sour in a heartbeat because some people pay too much care to the superficial things.

[Taylor105]

Tristan,
As a male I can honestly say I never pay attention if someone uses the stall or urinal. I don't think you have anything to worry about truthfully. I guess I would have to say if someone said something to me I would through the ball back in their court by asking why are they eye balling me all the time. Then if someone was to ask on the side I would just say that my mom taught me and it is easier for me. I do know guys like that.

I have a friend who has a little boy who is almost seven years old now and has never been allowed to pee standing up at home. I don't know if he does in public. But their bathroom floors are made of cherry wood and she would freak if even one drop of urine got on it. So he has not in his whole life been allowed to pee standing up at home. I'm sure it is much easier for him to pee sitting down in public too.