Well I have just ordered some mones off the net Estrodot patches and Cyproterone tablets (blockers) will be interesting to see how long I take them and be passible as male, I have only recently identified myself as ts, but as I am not yet out to most people that know me i guess i am self medding with the aim of eventually having no choice but to tell them.
I'm not a regular here. I used to be, but life takes us down some unexpected paths. I've been on hormones for over a year. I started self-medicating and then went to a sympathetic doctor and found a counselor. (It's important to understand the Harry Benjamin Standards of Care so you can use them to your own advantage.) I started with a low dose of Premarin but didn't like the animal cruelty angle so switched to Estrofem. I did the research concerning the various forms of E and found very little concrete clinical data that wasn't refuted somewhere else. Like many others here, I have to maintain my job for now, but the hormones really help me feel so much more comfortable.
A couple months after I started the E, I added an anti-androgen. That seemed to make a lot of difference as well. It's like I was suffering from testosterone poisoning and by blocking that, I was able to steady out emotionally. The doctor has been fine with my choices, and is interested in how things are working. I am showing some minor breast growth, but have dropped back to a minimum dose of E and it seems to have slowed greatly.
I must say, my body certainly knew what to do with the hormones! The changes I HAVE noticed start with hair. The hair on the top of my head has started to regrow where it was thin and receding. (although I DO use minoxidil.) Body hair has diminished greatly, although I still shave my arms. My skin has softened and gotten much smoother. My image at work is definitely changed, and getting two piercings in each ear only added to that. I've let my hair grow long and I currently present as male with a 10" pony tail according to my wife. I just tell people I'm an old hippie and it seems like everyone WANTS to believe that, even though I work with a bunch of macho engineers.
I'm trying to maintain for now, and it was the doctor who suggested the minimum dose of E rather than just going with the A-A. To put me into perspective, I'm 56 and have just passed 30 years at work.
And I just got married. Like I mentioned earlier, a strange path, but wonderful. I've found a match for me that understands and accepts everything. The world may be confused by who or what I am, but I'm comfortable at home. And at this point in life, I still wonder where I'll be in 10 years.
Dani
Ashllynne,
I just read your post and have a question, "8 years" on hormones and still able to present as male? Wow, I would think that there might be some questions tossed about by people you know and others. Have you had any marked changes? I think it is great that you're getting what you need from them. You seem pleased and that is good. Do you get frustrated in having to show your male self all the time? I sure do. For me, GCS (I like to call it Gender Corrective Surgery) will be a part of my transition in the not too distant future (hopefully 2-3 years) and like you, I'm 50. I just can hardly wait to rid myself of this male persona.
Please don't take my response the wrong way. I fully respect your opinion, what works for you, does. You go Girl! I am just truly amazed that after eight years you can still pass as male even at your (my) age. I can see for myself already that it will be difficult for me to do so (I think) in probably another year or so if things keep progressing at the current rate. Another big shift will start this month as I intend to begin laser on my beard. We're each different and we all get a different perspective it seems as to what it is we need and want from this experience.
Dawn
"Courage is being scared to death.............and saddling up anyway" John Wayne
".......the minority possess their equal rights, which equal law must protect, and to violate would be oppression." -Thomas Jefferson
"I ain't here for a long time; I'm here for a good time......." George Strait
The thing is, I've met people who did okay with being extremely androgynous (a friend of a friend who started hrt in uni for whom this was the plan - boymode with intermittent girlmode, maybe consider reversing at a later date) and still presenting long-term as male - some just don't particularly feel strongly as either (besides, looking younger is a nice perkOriginally Posted by Dawn D.
). The same, while many of my friends spent between -6 to 6 (5 for me) months between HRT and jumping full time, there used to be something called the morph technique which might take a year or three to go to full time - although I thought it was better known by people from other generations.
Hi Dawn, thanks for the good questions. I'm no endrochronologist but through research and experience I've found the following to be true. Hormones, by themselves do not make remarkable physical changes at least for older mtf. They do not change facial or bone structure, change the voice or mannerisms, facial hair growth or any of those irritating masculine curses. Although I wish hormones would change all that, passing would then not be an issue and there would be a lot of ecstatic mtf girls.
They have however given me 38b breasts, a little softer skin appearence and redistributed some fat to my hips and thighs but not enough to make a noticable difference to anyone but myself. So yes, it's still very easy for me to pass as male without raising suspicions or questions. Those who are close to me know about the HRT and it does not seem to concern them in the least. As for my breasts, a loose fitting shirt conceals them from the most discerning eyes. And yes it is and has been frustrating my entire life to be a TS, but it's the cross I bear and make the the best of it as I can. Wishing you the best in your journey.
Ashlynne
Last edited by Ashlynne; 08-03-2008 at 12:12 PM.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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Thank God for hormones
This thread is very good. I thought I was unique taking estrogens and still living as a man. Obviously there are others. If the information available today would have been available in the late 60’s and early 70’s, I would probably have transitioned then. But today, been 54, the social, career and financial costs outweigh the possible benefits. Lets face it, by the time I would get my life back together I would be an old woman.
Low doses of estrogens are unlikely to turn a 54 years old in a DD Cinderella. But the emotional changes have been very good. Suddenly, the buzzing fluorescent stopped. I thought I would miss it but I do not at all. It is a great time saver to let the other worry about sex. I am also more tolerant and easy going, overall a much nicer person.
After 5 months, I thought I would be the only to notice the physical changes and I am for the most part. I feel my breasts and nipples most of the time but not much more is visible than what was already there. That was expected. What was not is that the fat seems to relocate from the waist to the right places. The jeans fit better without extra padding. No one said anything other than my massage therapist that found that my legs and gluteus felt different.
Time will tell, but so far I am happy. But I am wondering if it is addictive.
Monica
I have to ask what you mean by "buzzing flourescent." Are you being literal or figurative? (If you are being literal - I "hear" a high pitched whine or buzz and have a diagnosis of "non-specific tinnitis." Is this what you are referring to? I note that higher doses of E make it go away for me. I've never asked a Dr. about it, and never found any reports about this.)
As for addicting - seems pretty much so. I quit after 3 months. It almost hurt and I wanted to be back on E very badly. Haven't tried quitting again.
hugs,
'lissa
It is figurative. I meant that I used to think about intercourse way too often. I don't anymore. It is very liberating.
Monica
I met with my theripist today, who told me she is recommending hormones to the dr.. My appointment is later this month. We both discussed that, at the moment my course is to continue to present as male, to which she fully understood and agreed that this is acceptable.
I will shortly begin down the road that I knew I was supposed to travel. Thank you all for sharing your experiences and insight. I will give updates as to how well it is all working once I get started. Hopefully, this thread has also helped others as much as it has me!!!!
Never too late, Monica, I began 24/7 at 72. But didn't have any difficulties re job, kids, wife, friends etc. And don't ever call me OLD, I can outdance any 20 or 30 yr old I have danced with, 5 hours straight. Attached my 73rd birthday.
[SIZE=2]Ascended Ancient[/SIZE]
Amber is exactly right. Oral drugs also have to have a much higher dose since absorbing in the digestive tract is not a efficient as under the tongue, using a patch or injection. High doses of estrogen, especially orally, does have a much higher risk of clots when compared to the patch.
Thanks for the encouragement, I found I have reached a good balance and I am happy. The hormones helped tremendously. In many ways it is a gift to be able to be both. But who knows what the future will be.
You really don't look your age. I really don't think we are old, in my case I did 2 triathlons and a marathon in the last 12 months. But to tell the truth, it is the only way I found to control my weight.
Monica
Be careful on them. I was only on them for a month when I got a DVT. It was exceptionally nasty, was hospitalised for a week, my leg ballooned and turned purple, and I couldn't walk properly for about 6 weeks. I have never known pain like it, and wouldn't wish it on anyone. The Doctors told me I could no longer take oestrogen orally and no cyproterone under any circumstances. Naturally I was devastated. However, I am now on patches and to sort out the resurgent testosterone I had an orchiedectomy. This all happened 10 years ago. I have been on patches all that time and still haven't transitioned yet (lost my way a bit) so I still present as a man. Unfortunately my hair is a bit thin and because I have psoriasis on my scalp, I have to keep it very short or it really flares up, so people generally don't mistake me for female. My face has feminised quite a lot and my body shape is now very female (boobs and bum), so much so that when I just wear a top, my boobs are really noticeable, eventhough I am only an A cup. It's become difficult to walk around without a jacket in the Summer as I get an awful lot of weird looks from passersby, makes me very self conscious. At work everyone knows about me, and are mainly very supportive. Well, most are very supportive (especially the women) and the ones that aren't just don't say anything at all. HR in my company told me that if I get any problems at all to go straight to them and they will throw the book at the culprit. I suppose I don't really look all that much like a male any more, but because of my short hair, people don't really notice anything amiss (if I have a jacket on, of course) and probably just assume that I am a soft featured male. Basically they see short hair, they assume male, so they see a male. I am undergoing ongoing electrolysis, so until all my facial hair is gone (or in its final stages) I feel I will have to wait for my transition. I think it would be extremely difficult to present as female with 2 days beard growth.
Last edited by Anna the Dub; 08-14-2008 at 03:12 PM.
My advice - don't self medicate - herbals or otherwise.
My experience - after 3 months on estrodiol injections (bi weekly) I had enough growth to be noticable under a T-shirt. My nipples doubled in size almost immediately. A lump started forming about the size of my areola. This lump was becoming noticable even to someone who wouldn't suspect why. Those who really know me could have called it at 2 months. I was not trying to hide it. If I was just wearing a t shirt, it was noticable. I certainly could have hid it for a while, but 3 months is about the point of no return. I was all in favor of the other changes. I was just not ready for boobs. :-( I still take avodart which for the most part keeps my hair in place.
Gen
Yeh I am not planning on taking them regualary at the moment, should have got for spironalactone or dutas really, as I have heard andrucur can have quite heavy side effects. I think I am safe with the patches though, so will just take them for the time being.
Coincidently I too live in Brum, Moseley do you know it ?
Anyway only been on patches 4 days so far just applied second one, so its early days, I have a feeling my T will hold up quite well without blockers though as I have a high sex drive !
I do, I am in Sandwell, not far from West Brom.
My consultation appointment got forwarded a little. I met with the dr. and after we spoke for a while he told me that I need to schedule anothor appt. for a physical and then he would be prescribing hormones for me. We spoke of different forms and levels, along with the possibility of spiro. As I opened this with, I still intend to present as male. I told the dr of my wishes, to which he informed me that many of his patients to present as male and that I am not the only one. We will be starting with low levels of premarin and only increasing them to make me feel "proper" as opposed to "developing" a feminzied body. I am soooooooo looking forward to that appointment. Hope this helps someone out there!!!!
Last edited by natasha; 08-15-2008 at 09:52 PM. Reason: To add
I have now been on self medicated female hormone therapy for almost 4 mnonths now, [ having blood work done thru independant lab] currently taking 4mg estrofem [under tongue] 200mg spiro, 10mg provera, changes slow and very slight, emotionally sense some calming, small amount of monthly mood swing, breasts pretty sore, urination comes much easier. other boy unctions working although somewhat subdued.
I enjoyed reading all of your responses. I am new to this site and have also just started my hormones. I really appreciate reading about what is to come. I know its a long road but I am ready for the adventure. Thanks again.
I don't know your circumstances, maybe your therapist felt this was important in your case. I can tell you that the Standards of Care are not written in concrete. In fact, they are now more flexible than they have ever been. Also, the RLT is only a requirement for GRS (gender reassignment surgery). That has always been the case. We all live under different circumstances. HRT is an important and crucial step that should not be taken lightly, But to force someone to live full time from the get go wouldn't be fair, and is impossible in some cases. There is no time-line for going full time, and if one wants to, they can put it off almost as long as they need to. This is one reason I don't reccomend what some girls do-get their ok from the therapist, then never see him/her again, or rarely. Therapy is an important part of the process, in my opinion. We go thru alot of changes, ups and downs, and fears. It's a big deal, and issues are bound to come up, and need to be addressed.when my shrink gave me the OK to take hormones I was also told to do my real life test IE:- live full time has Marissa no if and or buts 24/7/365.
how can you all go on hrt first and then later conduct your real life test ??? is it not the same standard everywhere ? is that not cheating ...no fair i am telling
if i had to do that you all should too
Hugs,
Melissa
Hi Natasha
Have been on hormones for about 18 months off and on but now taking in ernest, patch (100) for a boost gel as a maintenance dose and have started on ant-androgen recently the big decision has been made, all the way why waste any more time, however i still present myself as male in public but for how long i dont know. My wife who is aware of my CD noted a couple of weeks ago that my breasts were growing and found my patches, disapproval and tension, but i can not stop the inevitable and what i have yearned for for 50 yrs..
on the upside shopping the other day my wife sent me to rummage through rails of sale items, dresses, skirts etc to see if there was anything that 'she' might like, nervous at first i soon got into my most female self and had a really good time choosing, it felt so natural. Fortunatly my wife and i are both size 14 tops etc but i am now 10-12 skirts with a 36a bust in bra and she a 12-14. How long will i continue to step out as male?? how much my wife's acceptance of my femme desire will dictate, if she accepts my changing then there nothing to hold me back, the inevitable will happen sooner rather than later, and more shopping!!!!
God Bless you, Joanne. You'll need it. What a trip you're on. Your wife sounds fantastic. Buy her stuff! Make her dinner.
M
It just occurred to me that there are a bunch of us who will never pass. Our physiolgy is just unalterable without surgery. I', 6'3". It ain't gonna happen. Shoes are insane-either drag queen stillettos or frumpy Magdesians.
BUT! Once I was entering Limelight on a comp, and a crass doorman explaining the scene to someone on line referred to me a a "guy in a dress." I was very skinny then. I said, "But don't I look good?" He replied, "Yes you do, you look very good."
Our society needs another sex. Some of us are neither gay men nor full transitionists. We're in between.
Can I get away with shaving m legs? I've noticed several straight guys with no leg hair. My estranged wife says that I can't.
I love my hormones. I wish I could afford a higher dose.
Someone said that progesterone was important for breast development. Is this so?
I'll try to answer two questions, although I'm still real early in my transition, and learning, myself.
Synthetic Estrogin, by all known accounts, is just as effective as premarin. And Melissa is right. The patch does reduce the risk of blood clots, stroke, and wear and tear on your liver. It's not brandy-new, but relatively so.
Morgan, the jury is still out on progesterone. Most of the evidence right now is anecdotal. Some say it has done wonders for their breast growth. Others, not so much. Some docs say progesterone use should not begin until at least a year on traditional HRT, to give the breasts time to develope naturally, until the "P" is used to add fat to them. I have also heard of some health risks of progesterone, the same as Estrogen(blood clots, stroke). But as with much of this area, there are really no double blind clinical trials, and a scarce amount of info on t-girls who have been around for a while. In other words, while there's alot we do know, we are a bunch of guinea pigs, still! The best we can do for ourselves is try to get educated, talk to our doctors and endocrinologists, and tread carefully.
Hugs,
Melissa
Morgan, I know a 6"4'' tgirl and she is female except at work. But she has had several facial surgeries no voice work, and she is 63. She has been trans for 15 years.
She says sometimes she gets funny looks but she doesn't care.
[SIZE=2]Ascended Ancient[/SIZE]
