Intuition and anxiety

[Alan]

Okay, so it's a weird subject line, but I'm bad at thinking up ones.

Anyway. Hopefully this is coherent (/crosses fingers). I've made a fool of myself enough times today. I was walking home the other day and it was kind of dusk. Like, late-ish.

I've pretty much always identified as a guy, but any time I'm alone after dark outside (or you know, in a sketchy place), I get pretty nervous and think that I'm going to be abducted/raped/killed (by the way, if you've ever seen me, you'll know that's patently impossible. You'd have to be NUTS to want to rape me).

I'm more cautious than most girls I know, especially my age, even though I've never had anything happen to me. I'm just curious, how many of you, despite identifying as guys, feel anxious about being alone after dark?

There. I hope that's understandable.

[Abraxas]

I've always gotten freaked out after dark. Even in my own front yard. Not necessarily scared I'll get hurt, but just generally nervous. So I don't know if I can answer your question.

I do carry a knife on me at all times, just in case...

[Alan]

I have rage problems and I weigh nearly 200 pounds. I swear to God, I can and will punch anyone's lights out.

And I still freak out just putting the trash out front... and I live in an insanely quiet neighborhood. Although, once, there was this weird guy trying to get me into his car, and another time, this guy was so totally following me.

[BadassBabyBrother]

Amusing enough, I'm also about 200 pounds, give or take a few, and when I get attacked... Yeah, not pretty. I still get freaked out if I walk out in the town and someone suddenly appears walking behind me or surprises me. Doesn't really matter if it's day or night, though at night it's way stronger. Might be my overactive self-protecting instinct.

[Alan]

I've found talking nonsense keeps people away. No one likes to mess with the crazy dude. I speak Hungarian, so I just recite poetry in a creepy voice, and people leave me alone.

[BadassBabyBrother]

I've found talking nonsense keeps people away. No one likes to mess with the crazy dude. I speak Hungarian, so I just recite poetry in a creepy voice, and people leave me alone.

[offtopic]

Remember to say "Isn't travelling fun?" When you're in an elevator with several people. Guaranteed to get you some space.

[/offtopic]

[Alan]

[offtopic]
Simpleton act works well in elevators. Oh! And HUGE, SH*T-EATING GRINS. People get off the elevator to get away. It's FUN!
[/offtopic]

[CaptLex]

I used to be scared of being out late at night (and even not so late) before I came out and during the time I lived in a bad neighborhood, especially 'cause the crime rate in this city was much higher then. Now, I don't really think about it, no matter how late it is, but I still keep an eye on my surroundings: who is around, how close they are, how many there are, etc. And always mentally plan an escape route just in case - which usually means I'm ready to run into traffic if I have to.

[ZenFrost]

I've been pondering how to answer this question because I seem to be in a whole other ballpark. Any anxiety at night for me isn't because I'm female-bodied...

I guess it depends. Typically when I'm alone after dark it's because I'm walking home from my uncle's house about two blocks away, so in that case I'm aware of my surroundings but not afraid. Other than that... well I just have to be real careful about where I am, especially when I'm on foot, whether it's night or not.

[Punkster]

I never used to have any anxiety about being out late at night, I would think nothing of walking the dog at 4am around a pretty rough council estate (neighbourhood). It was only when I had my son that I started to feel any anxiety at all. I think because I had someone very important in my life I realised my need to stay safe so I could always be there for him.

Before my son I had been beaten up on a few occasions but one of them happened in broad daylight. Now I am on my guard not just because I am trans but because it is a rough and harsh world out there and because I'm pretty damn paranoid these days anyways and cant always get through the front door but thats due to my other issues lol.

[metalguy639]

The dark has not really scared me and for the most part I've always had a good delivery. (I tell them to "go away" they go away.) My sister on the other hand...not so good. LOL So since she has come to live with me I've been more careful and watched out more because she seems to just attract the weirdos I have no idea.

[Cai]

Most times it doesn't bother me even if it's late. I use common sense, stay out of Hobo Park after dark, etc. but I try not to let it control my life. I may be small, but I know how to handle myself.

However, if I think I'm being followed, I get pretty anxious. Once someone enters my space, I'm very aware of them, even if I'm not showing it.

[Bev06 GG]

I think we all get abit apprehensive nowadays Alan, I do think however, that it is much worse for men than women. Sounds abit double dutch I know, but there is quite a good chance in todays climate that men are more likely to be attached than women.
Take care
Bev

[Alan]

Really? I'm shocked. I was more thinking of the fear of rape, which I find women worry more about than men. And even though I think of myself as a guy, I still am worried about that when I'm out. (Then again, I've also always asserted you have to be batsh*t insane to rape me, but that's a different matter)

[ZenFrost]

I think we all get abit apprehensive nowadays Alan, I do think however, that it is much worse for men than women. Sounds abit double dutch I know, but there is quite a good chance in todays climate that men are more likely to be attached than women.
Take care
Bev

I did a bit of research and found that's not exactly true. Women are (still) more likely to be attacked/assaulted/raped than men, though it does depend on where you live.

[Bev06 GG]

Yes I agree guys, the statistics do still show that women are more likely to be raped. However, most attacks on men go unreported because they are nothing more than a beating or a fight outside the pub. They still hurt like hell though and often end up in hospital for treatment. A lot of knife crime didn't used to be reported and now it is being so it will be interesting to see how things balance out.
Take care
bev

[Ann D Bluebird]

Hi,
Not to contradict anyone as such but the UK context of Bevs comments is a
spate of teenage knifing deaths in recent months, so it's in our minds a lot....

I do carry a knife on me at all times, just in case...

This made me whince, but its your judgement as to whether that would help in the circumstances.

[metalguy639]

I would also like to point out that in many sexual assault cases against men that they are not usually reported because men do not come forward for whatever reason either they are embarrassed or worried what others will say or think.