I Want It All and I Want It NOW!!!

[MelindaHow]

But I can't have it all.......and I can't have it now.
I have to keep telling myself that.
I have been separated from my wife for ~3 months now. I have a 1 bedroom apartment that I call home now. When I come home from work I have been staying glued in front of my computer surfing the Internet for new stuff....... things that I have wanted since I was a young child. Dresses, makeup, panties, boobs, wigs, etc. so I can finally realize my other self.
I find myself wanting everything now. Then I think to myself [SIZE=1](in a Gabby Hayes voice)[/SIZE] "Self; you better slow down. That credit card isn't a bottomless pit."
"I know you need to support President Bush's economy and everythin', but you can't do it all by your lonesome."..... [SIZE=2]end talking to self[/SIZE].
I know this is going to take time, and as with all good things, this wish will eventually come true.

Since this web site found me (I know I didn't find it), I have been more open about myself than I ever have...... to anyone..!!!!

Wow, this is getting kind of scary. But one thing I am certain of, I'm not the only one here that has had these thoughts.

Just thought I'd pour out some of my psyche on y'all. Hope I didn't get any on you. A little club soda should get the stain out though.

If anyone else would like to share, that would be great. I feel necked standing out here all alone.....

[tricia_uktv]

Hon, it takes time but the journey is fun, I promise. Start slowly, go out where you will be accepted and enjoy your female side.

Remember:
If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
why, oh why can't I?

You can, but do it slowly and deliberately. It helps to keep a blog too,

Good luck

[docrobbysherry]

U sound like me about 10 months ago. When I discovered this, and other CD sites! I just returned from a vacation from "all things CD". In order to get some perspective. Before my break, I thot I needed it ALL! Now, I'm SURE of it!

My best advice to u may be; Salvation Army, Goodwill, etc. etc. etc.

[Sallee]

I have been there I had to move just to get away from CDing it was controlling my life and there are more things to life than CDing although CDingis pretty fun
You have to put it in perspective with other things in life you enjoy. The new found freedom is wonderful and you will meet some wonderful folks in this thing of ours.
BUT you control it don't let it control you. Lots of us know how that can be. So heed the advice. May be counseling would be good just to help you keep things in perspective.
Have fun enjoy your CDing but control it. Good luck

[Sarah Doepner]

Been there, done that, bought the tee shirt, bra, panties, skirt and all the shoes that fit. Yep, it is very liberating to find out you are not the only one who has this wonderful ability to appreciate and enjoy your feminine side. I occasionally go absolutely nuts. So long as it doesn't bankrupt the savings, endanger your work or compromise the rest of your obligations, enjoy. Unfortunately, sometimes it does seem to get me distracted from those basic things and I need to pull back a little. Good luck!!!!

[Ruth]

I remember that early on you just seem to need to buy one thing after another, but try to ration yourself, you will accumulate everything (hopefully without going broke) and there will come a time when you can feel fairly satisfied with your wardrobe and all your girly bits and pieces (unless the whole thing is just a cover for being a shopaholic).
Doing the rounds of the thrift stores is a good idea: it's not all junk there; if you are choosy you can get nice things. Also being choosy means it takes a while to find what you want, which is useful if you are trying to stay in a budget.
And I agree with what's been said about leaving room in your life for other things.

[sterling12]

Sounds like a serious case of "Pink Fog." You might want to Google that term and read up on it.

It usually passes after a year or so, you return to a more balanced life.....at least hopefully, you do that. Indulge yourself a little bit, but if your "stretching" and you have child support payments to make; be advised that judges don't find "The Pink Fog" to be an excuse for being delinquent with your payments.

Your never going to give up The C.D., but it does start to "mature" with time. If you can, just enjoy your wonderful adventures that lie ahead.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[CD Susan]

Jaylynn, you have recieved some excellent advice already so it will be hard for me to improve on it. I can understand how anxious you are to experience your newfound freedom but it is best to go slowly at first. Your budget for buying femme clothes will go much further if you shop at the thrift stores. I have been doing this for many years and am amazed at the bargains that can be found at these places. The pink fog thing is real. I experienced it after my divorce 13 years ago. Enjoy your hobby but don't try to do overnight what many of us have taken years to achieve.

[suzy cool]

It sounds fun to me. Just try not to do something you'll regret later.

[Wendy me]

lol i think most get that way at one point ...... i love to shop problem is i am excessive compulsive .... lol i can't stop once i start lol..... you know it could be worse you could be buying guy clouthes......

[MelindaHow]

Thank you everyone for your advise and comments.
I searched the Forum and found a really good thread about "Pink Fog".
That's what I love about this place, the wealth of knowledge and experience and the people who share it!

I am grateful fair ladies of the Forum, I shall take heed and be wary of any obscurity to my vision, should a ruddy murkiness descend about me again..

Hey, that was fun. Maybe we should all talk like this.....

[SIZE=1]Hmm, now where did I put that credit card ?!?!?[/SIZE]

[sterling12]

And, you are welcome!

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Nicole Erin]

Well girl, you are enjoying what is called the "pink fog".
But yeah take it slow, and enjoy your new found freedom and journey.
Often I wish I was still making my first purchases, it is WAY more fun at first before it becomes normal buying woman clothes.

So yeah careful with the finances but have plenty of fun.

You know, there are also thrift stores that sometimes have great deals on stuff that is pretty much brand new. People get stuff, never wear it, donate it.

But serious, don;t rush everything. Just let the fun happen slowly, and you will have a lot to look forward to. Your first outing, making friends, going out in daylight... Don't try to live it all in one day.

.. you know it could be worse you could be buying guy clothes......

[scoff] Perish the thought. guy clothes suck [unless one is FTM]

[victoriamwilliams1]

I say follow your inner voice and take it slow.

[katrinacd]

Jaylynn,

Sure can relate to your situation. I've been separated from my wife for almost a year and have been tempted to go crazy at times. When you've lived in a situation where the CDing is not even tolerated a little bit, the natural reaction is to make up for lost time.

Of course, with my kids at my apartment half the time, being constantly on the run and having money issues due to the separation, I haven't gone too wild (just a new wig, a few outfits and a couple new pairs of shoes). Don't know where I've found the willpower!

[RobertaFermina]

SAVOR IT, DEARIE.

Don't rush from one experience to the next....drink each fantasy and adventure in deeply.

Great that you are reaching out for others' thoughts and opinions. Connecting with like-minded souls is a good way to get more deeply connected with what you are and want.

I envy your CD Innocence....enjoy it while it lasts ! May it last forever !



Roberta

[Angie G]

Take it easy hun the rabbet lost and the turtle won. you'll get there Jaylynn.
Angie

[Amy Hepker]

Going to Savation Army Stores and Goodwill Stores are a Great choice for great used clothing and a lot of times you can find thing that are new for pennies on the dollar.

You can spend a fortune on the internet, slow down girl and buy wisely. I bought a lot of things on the internet and ebay that were the wrong size, and that is heart breaking when you wait so long to get something you really wanted and then find it was not really what you wanted or is the wrong size.

I buy a lot of my things at Wal-Mart on sale. Ususally, $2.00 to 10.00 each. Take a take measure with you, and be sure of what you want and the size you are. Sizes can vary widely even within a brand name.

A Great place to go is the other thrift stores, a lot of times you can find all kinds of things on sale and some really interesting things like Corsets and All-in-ones.

Have fun girl, buying the things is half the fun. Don't be afraid to go in in male mode, I do all the time and nobody cares.

[Emily Anderson]

Hold your horses!!!

A) You don't want to be bankrupt

B) You don't want to end up with a ton of stuff that you have to give away / sell etc. because you bought it on a whim

I know it's hard not to go wild like a kid in a candy store, but WAKE UP!!!

[Laura_Stephens]

Going to Savation Army Stores and Goodwill Stores are a Great choice for great used clothing and a lot of times you can find thing that are new for pennies on the dollar.

You can spend a fortune on the internet, slow down girl and buy wisely. I bought a lot of things on the internet and ebay that were the wrong size, and that is heart breaking when you wait so long to get something you really wanted and then find it was not really what you wanted or is the wrong size.

I buy a lot of my things at Wal-Mart on sale. Ususally, $2.00 to 10.00 each. Take a take measure with you, and be sure of what you want and the size you are. Sizes can vary widely even within a brand name.

A Great place to go is the other thrift stores, a lot of times you can find all kinds of things on sale and some really interesting things like Corsets and All-in-ones.

Have fun girl, buying the things is half the fun. Don't be afraid to go in in male mode, I do all the time and nobody cares.

Great advice!