Pot, Meet Kettle

[Cai]

(This is pulled from a question I asked in a LiveJournal community, hence re-hashing some of the info the guys in the Clubhouse here already have.)

At work, I present female (sorta - I'm known as she, but dress very very unisex and have masculine hair). I have a physical labor job (I'm part of a canoe trip crew) and it requires a fair amount of heavy lifting and physical exertion.

/backstory

I have a co-worker who is always trying to take over the more demanding jobs for me. He's also extremely patronizing and condescending to me, and seems to have the attitude that I'm not capable of doing my job just because I'm female-bodied. At one point, I became so annoyed with him that I, completely seriously, threatened to hit him if he didn't knock it off, and I'm extremely lucky he didn't try to get me in trouble for it.

IIRC, there's only 3 women, plus me being female-bodied, that are part of our crew, though most of them are only working trips sporadically.
One of them is the stereotypical blonde cheerleader type. From day one, we didn't get along. I have to admit, albeit grudgingly, that she knows what she's doing on the river (even if she uses her looks to charm the guys into doing the lifting for her).

The thing is, I don't like to admit she's competent at a physical labor job because she presents very feminine. It's not something I decided consciously, but I'm definitely lowering her skills in my mind just because she's a girl.

Which is exactly what Patronizing Co-worker does to me.

I'm a strong feminist, and I don't like what I'm finding out about myself through interacting with her.

So has anybody else encourted this sort of unconscious misogyny in themselves? What did you do about it?

[Alan]

I'm a feminist too, and a very very passionate one. But... but... when I see a really really feminine girl, my opinion of her just PLUMMETS. I don't know what it is, but something about it just annoys me.

I think it's the deliberate helpless attitude which annoys me. Anyone who tries to set back women's rights half a century doesn't deserve my admiration.

[waspookie6]

Interesting observation Cai, I've come across the same thing and in a recent situation, the guys figured we had a "cat-fight" ( could that be any more condescending?) when all it was is she knew she was pretty and could keep up with the guys for the most part.

I'm not that pretty princess blonde she is and don't want to become. The confirmation it wasn't a PKB situation is when she sent me an email ranting and raving like your typical 6 yr old princess having a fit over nothing that involved her. She didn't have the guts to do that in front of the guys. One of the guys asked what happened so I sent him a copy of the email. Soon enough they started asking for pictures of her in a bikini at least, her true colors showed when at first she did post a picture of herself in a bikini then when none of the guys responded she had another hissy fit chewing them out.

Needless to say their opinion of the little brunette that could give and take just like the guys (that would be me) ended up with a ton more respect and affirmation I wasn't a two faced coin.

See, everything can look good on the outside for only so long then it does fall apart at some point. I have no better way of explaining it than that but I've encountered it over and over and every single time - something happens that reaffirms it isn't an issue I have, it's just another pretty gal screaming for attention to herself by trying to be "that" girl.

Thinking back, the way I handled every situation was to just not respond, keep to my job and do what I do best.

[Bev06 GG]

Actually Cai,
Yes is the answer to that one. I go horseriding with my daughter and have been doing for some time. I have always riden since a very early age and am a qualified riding instructor so I get to ride some of the schools best horses. Any way this new lady starts with us last week, very petite, pretty little blonde. Starts to tell every one her life story and how she has always had a pony and is bragging about being as spoilt as hell and always getting her own way. As the lesson progresses it becomes obvious that she can't ride as well as she told us and she cannot get her horse going because he's being lazy so she says she wants to ride the horse that I'm on because it goes better. So the instructor makes us change. I wasn't best happy but because the green eyed monster had reared its head and I hated myself for it i agreed to swap and be as good natured as I could be even though this woman was winding me up something chronic.
Well then this horse starts playing up because it obviously doesn't like her style of riding and the horse starts to bolt and throw its head around so she asks to swap back. The instructor refused and said she should try harder to relax and then the horse would do. You know what I was really hoping that that horse would ruddy well buck her off to shut her mouth up. What I am saying here is that this woman gets on my ruddy nerves, she is everything that I dislike about some women, so maybe thats it for you too. Maybe the lady you on about irritates you.
I tell you the woman who comes to our lesson is going to be a real testing case for my character and at the moment the testing is bigger than my character which is very hypocritcal of me too because I am a practicing christian. Obviously Im not a very good one hey.
Take care
Bev