SO? What's That? (FtM Question)

[halfman_halfamazing]

aww now i feel like a douchebag! =P
as you know, yes i got one of the best girls in the world

[onerous]

I don't have one.. would like to though.. getting desperate o.o

though if i did.. doubt it will interfere much with my studies.. instead it would most probably do the opposite :P

[Abraxas]

I have 'others' and I have 'significants,' but the closest I can get to dating (besides being married to Alan) is usually making out with drunk guys at parties. *pout*

Unfortunately, everyone I meet who I might be compatible with sexually, I don't click with emotionally (or is unattainable), and everyone who seems to show a little interest in me is either female, creepy, or (at least on some level) sees me as a girl.

[wanttobejoe]

Joe, if you don't know what the "right" kind would be for you . . . do you have an idea what kind you don't want? Not to pry, just if you know and want to share.

I actually do have an idea about what the "right" kind of relationship would be, it's just a bit vague. The most important things would be that I could be myself (which probably would mean that it wouldn't be very physical) , and that the relationship would be based on loyalty and trust.

[Punkster]

Right now I don't have an SO and I prefer the term partner because I don't think of it as a business deal, more of someone that is part of your life and shares the things you do.

I did have a partner who I still love very much so there isnt much chance of dating or a relationship on the cards for a long time. That isnt to say I have any problem in that area, there are always plenty of women, just until I met my ex I had an awful knack of picking the wrong one!

On top of all that, I keep harping on about the fact that my mojo seems to have gone on vacation lol. I am in a place where I need to sort myself out first and dating just isnt on the agenda.

I was married to a guy once before I was able to step out of the closet lol and I almost married a woman.....I am so glad I managed to escape that one!
I am still on speaking terms with the guy as he is my son's father, I also get along great with his new partner too. Its unusual but were Punk Jnr is concerned we are united.

[CaptLex]

You could'a done an open poll and smacked anyone who wasn't supposed to vote with a smacking stick. Like this one-->

I actually am finding it very depressing that we're afraid to post a poll in our own section anymore. I mean, really, when was the last poll we had in the Transmasculine section? Last November?

Good point, Zen. It's not so much being afraid as not wanting to be bothered having to use the smacking stick (makes more work for us). But I added a poll now . . . hope you have that stick handy 'cause you know we're gonna need it.

And for anyone who thinks they can anonymously vote on OUR poll and ruin the results - this poll reveals all names and I'm not above "naming and shaming" . . . you've been warned.

So the current score seems to be:

NOPE: Alan, Joe, Adam, Shaun, Onerous, Benny, Punkster, me
SORT OF: Cai, Kieron
YEP: Tristan, Daniel, Felix, Deacon, Ron
OTHER: Zen . . . or maybe you belong in the "sort of" category, Zen

Did I miss anyone?

Joe, thanks for answering my follow-up questions. I think you're not alone in what you'd like . . . in fact, I know you're not.

Ron, don't feel bad for being in the "yep" group . . . I'm happy for you, dude.

[Alan]

I have 'others' and I have 'significants,' but the closest I can get to dating (besides being married to Alan) is usually making out with drunk guys at parties. *pout*

Unfortunately, everyone I meet who I might be compatible with sexually, I don't click with emotionally (or is unattainable), and everyone who seems to show a little interest in me is either female, creepy, or (at least on some level) sees me as a girl.

I think that's the worst when it comes to dating -- being seen as female. Okay, not the WORST (I've seen worse), but I really really don't want to be treated like a girl in a relationship just because out of the two of us, I happened to be the one that was born with a female body.

Good point, Zen. It's not so much being afraid as not wanting to be bothered having to use the smacking stick (makes more work for us). But I added a poll now . . . hope you have that stick handy 'cause you know we're gonna need it.

Joe, thanks for answering my follow-up questions. I think you're not alone in want you'd like . . . in fact, I know you're not.

Lex, I have the idiot-bashing stick all ready. Feel free to borrow at any time (the STICK, not the guy wielding it).

Joe, you're definitely not alone. I want the same things in a relationship.

[ZenFrost]

So the current score seems to be:

NOPE: Alan, Joe, Adam, Shaun, Onerous, Benny, Punkster, me
SORT OF: Cai, Kieron
YEP: Tristan, Daniel, Felix, Deacon, Ron
OTHER: Zen . . . or maybe you belong in the "sort of" category, Zen

Yeah, I'm an 'other' because I've got an 'other' but it's just not a significant one.

Good point, Zen. It's not so much being afraid as not wanting to be bothered having to use the smacking stick (makes more work for us). But I added a poll now . . . hope you have that stick handy 'cause you know we're gonna need it.

I know, and I'm fed up with having polls ruined too, but I don't like not being able to even have them because people can't read.

And for anyone who thinks they can anonymously vote on OUR poll and ruin the results - this poll reveals all names and I'm not above "naming and shaming" . . . you've been warned.

Yes, and for the two so far that have ignored all warnings and voted anyway:

[Tamara Croft]

There's always going to be some idiots who have to ruin polls... I'm just glad to see this poll was open to view who did it, but I can still check who voted in the anonymous polls... it's a shame those 2 don't have the brain cells to READ I swear, we should put up an IQ test to join this forum, to see if members know the meaning of DON'T VOTE IN POLLS YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE VOTING IN.... and yeah I'm mad!!!

[CaptLex]

That didn't take long. I put the poll in this morning after breakfast and by the time I came back from lunch it was ruined already.

Hit 'em harder, Zen! Tamara . . . can we take away their panties?

[Tamara Croft]

LOL Lex, there would be a Armageddon if we did that

[Shelly Preston]

OMG I cried at that too


Still if some people would actually read it would help

[Kieron Andrew]

Well well, theres a surprise, the lack of respect continues....

[CaptLex]

Alrighty then . . . time to update the score again:

Yes - Tristan, Daniel, Felix, Deacon, Ron

No, and I would like one - Adam, CaptLex, Heather lace, onerous

No, but I don't want one - Alan

[Not sure which "No" Joe, Shaun, Benny and Punkster belong in]

Maybe . . . sort of . . . not sure - durden, Kieron Andrew (where's Cai?)

Other (please explain) - ZenFrost

Nobody asked you - Emily Anderson, Heather lace

[Tamara Croft]

So, can I ask a question to those without an SO? Do you think being a FTM makes it harder getting into a relationship? Because, and this is mho, you are out already, nothing is hidden, whereas the majority of MTF's hide the fact until after they are in a relationship and then get themselves into the constant lies from the begining.. whereas the majority of FTM's here are already out... so do you think that makes it harder starting a relationship? does this even make any sense?

[Devon James]

You can add me to the NOPE-section, it would be nice to meet someone in the future though. No rush anyway, I still have a hangover from the last one.

[Cai]

Alrighty then . . . time to update the score again:

Yes - Tristan, Daniel, Felix

No, and I would like one - Adam, CaptLex, Heather lace, onerous

No, but I don't want one - Alan

Maybe . . . sort of . . . not sure - durden, Kieron Andrew (where's Cai?)

Other (please explain) - ZenFrost

Nobody asked you - Emily Anderson, Heather lace

Cai was off figuring out how to send MCAT scores. But I'm back now.

Tamara - It can make it harder. For example, the people I'm mainly interested in dating are gay men. Problem is, I don't have the equipment most gay men are interested in, and for a solid percentage of them, it's a deal-breaker. (I suppose the same is true for straight women, but as I've never approached a straight woman, I've never been rejected for that reason). Plus, being trans carries with it a fair amount of emotional and social baggage.

So yes, I do think being trans makes it harder to get into a relationship. I'm not MtF, so I can't express an opinion on that in a relationship.

[CaptLex]

so do you think that makes it harder starting a relationship? does this even make any sense?

That's a good question, Tamara, and one I've discussed with my therapist. It's just my opinion, but I think it is harder to start a relationship for those of us who are out and open about our trans status. I think most people (men or women) who would be attracted to men are not likely interested in men who don't have all the parts, and wouldn't be open-minded enough to give it a chance before they can make up their minds.

[Alan]

So, can I ask a question to those without an SO? Do you think being a FTM makes it harder getting into a relationship? Because, and this is mho, you are out already, nothing is hidden, whereas the majority of MTF's hide the fact until after they are in a relationship and then get themselves into the constant lies from the begining.. whereas the majority of FTM's here are already out... so do you think that makes it harder starting a relationship? does this even make any sense?

Made sense, no worries. I'm open about it, and I use my male name, but a lot of people still view me as female. And I'm not about to get into a relationship with someone who views me as a female. And a lot of people aren't okay with it, even if we were open about it from the beginning.

And some people just think we're freak shows and ask us the most annoying questions that they wouldn't ask any normal person.

[CaptLex]

New scores:

Yes - Tristan, Daniel, Felix, Deacon, Ron

No, and I would like one - Adam, CaptLex, onerous, Deron Diablo

No, but I don't want one - Alan

[Still not sure which "No" category Joe, Shaun, Benny and Punkster belong in]

Maybe . . . sort of . . . not sure - durden, Kieron Andrew, Cai

Other (please explain) - ZenFrost

Nobody asked you - Emily Anderson, Heather lace

Cai was off figuring out how to send MCAT scores.

Who told you you could do that?

[Alan]

Jesus, did we have people screw this up ALREADY? I mean, how hard is it NOT to vote in a poll that says FTM-only? REALLY, REALLY NOT THAT HARD. /gnashes teeth.

Lex, I am giving you the idiot bashing stick. Use its power wisely.

Sorry. As a teacher, people NOT FOLLOWING INSTRUCTIONS annoys me more than anything (not REALLY)

[Cai]

Well, college applications have this funny thing about wanting official scores before they'll decide whether to accept you.

[CaptLex]

Lex, I am giving you the idiot bashing stick. Use its power wisely.

Doesn't matter much - it's like beating down ants . . . there's always a few more to take that one's place.

Well, college applications have this funny thing about wanting official scores before they'll decide whether to accept you.

Okay but . . . you didn't ask for permission to leave the ship, sailor.

Ah you know I'm just messin' with you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, latest score update:

Yes - Daniel, Deacon, Felix, Ron, Tristan

No, and I would like one - Adam, Benny (Abraxas), CaptLex, Deron Diablo, Onerous

No, but I don't want one - Alan

[Still not sure which "No" category Joe, Shaun and Punkster belong in]

Maybe . . . sort of . . . not sure - Cai, Durden, Kieron Andrew

Other (please explain) - ZenFrost

Nobody asked you - Emily Anderson, Heather lace

[Cai]

I'm back now, anyway - is that good enough?

[CaptLex]

I'm back now, anyway - is that good enough?

Yes but . . . I may have to punish you.