Advice column

[Abraxas]

By the way, if you look at my profile pic, the shirt I'm wearing is a super- stretchy, surfing type shirt. It's really thin material, made completely of spandex or lycra or something, and is quite comfortable. One of those might help you.
The only problem with them is that, while they're quite long (or can be, if you pull them down around your legs which helps to flatten you out) they do tend to ride up.
Perhaps some sort of unitard would do you good.

[Puer]

Thanks for that, Abraxas. The t-kingdom site looks like it could be v useful. I take your point about the unitard as well - certainly worth investigating.

[morgantoy25]

well most tg or cd have what typically sterotyped as gaydar, but in your case much like mine i live in hickville usa and i plainly dont care if bubba jim and billie bob dont like me they better carry a bigger gun and have bigger balls than me lol, eddie had a good idea maybe get out of town if moving is 86ed, go to a big city and you will be amazed to what you can find

[morgantoy25]

hey eddie, call me a genius but are you in europe?

[Abraxas]

hey eddie, call me a genius but are you in europe?

No, I'm actually not... I'm in-- get this-- Salt Lake City.
(I am an Anglophile and Europhile though, so I tend to speak/ type like Brits and other Europeans)

[debra ann]

Hi; I was woundering what is recomended for a crossdresser to wear on first date. Should it be conservitive or sexy. I am new at this, going out on a date. I've been dressing for about 20 yrs in privite but i am going to expand my horizen. any help will be great. Thanks Debra Ann

[Abraxas]

Hmm. Well, I think it depends upon the person with whom you're going out. If it's someone who really gets into the whole CD thing then I would go more sexy. If it's someone who is accepting of it but hasn't had much experienc in the field either, I would go more conservative.
I would say, for a first date with a person, don't overdo it-- midlength skirt (you can go above the knee, but keep everything well concealed) and a shirt that doesn't show too much skin.

Good luck!

[debra ann]

Hi; Thanks for the info this will help me very much. Thanks again Abraxas. Debra Ann

[Abraxas]

No problem. Glad to be of service!

[Jared86]

I'm sad quite often, nothing really makes me happy anymore, but i dont want to go on antidepressants and i dont want to smoke pot or get drunk.

I try to make friends but its very hard to do because i am in college and everybody loves substances and wants me to do them, too.... So i am lonely a lot.

What should i do?

[mistunderstood]

Of course do not drink it just makes it worse. Believe me been there done that and dumm enough to try again You made a good choice in joining the group here. I go by Aaron. Collage can be lonely.
I to get depressed and even though I'm in a relationship I get lonely sometimes. I do not really have friends outside of my girlfriend. Takeing meds is not as bad as you might think. I'm not a med pusher but with out my meds I might not be here. just something to think about.
Oh and before I forget welcome.

[Abraxas]

Welcome, Jared.
All I can say is, just hang in there. Don't stop yourself from meeting people. I did that for a long time. I would think I was trying to make friends but I really wasn't trying hard enough.
I'm in college, too. I went through half of my first year without talking to anybody outside of class. My teachers knew more about me than the other students did. Then I started talking to this guy and he invited me to come over to the dorms. I met some people, now I've got a big group of friends I can hang out with weekly.
I totally understand the substance- pushing types (And I'll admit that I'm always completely wasted at parties), but most of them don't really mind if you just hang out and not drink or whatever (and they'll be grateful, too-- one less person to buy boozew for). However, I also realise it's not necessarily fun to be the only sober person at a party.
Try going to some clubs in your area, or restaurants that have shows and stuff (there are a few restaurants around here that do music and comedy most nights). Pick whatever you're into and go to places that will accomodate. Pretty soon you'll find yourself talking to people, or having people come up and talk to you.
Chin up, mate.
By the way, PM or email me anytime you'd like.

[deana cd]

Here's my question: Did you get your name from the Santana album? Just wondering.

[Abraxas]

Nope, I didn't. I hadn't ever heard of the album when I picked the name. I actually got it from my favourite book, "Demian" by Hermann Hesse.

[Adam]

My question is im in the uk looking for a job when i fill out my job application i have to by law write female on the form but of cousre when i turn up for a interview i will be male looking how can i get round this

[Abraxas]

As far as I can tell, there's no real way but to just tell your employer what's up and make sure he's aware that turning someone down based on discrimination is illegal.