A Question - Open to Everyone

[Cai]

This question was posed to me this morning, and I thought both the question itself and his findings on the answer were very interesting. (I'll keep the implications of the answer to myself for now, to avoid contaminating the response pool.)

Would you rather be honored or cherished?

I'd like to hear why you picked a certain answer, but if you don't want to, you don't have to. I'm doing this as a thread rather than a poll because I want people to give me their answer after it's been thought through, not as an immediate button click.

[Alan]

I would love to be honored -- it would show that I have done something significant in life that deserves honor. That deserves people saying to me, "I am *honored* to make your acquaintance." It would mean that I've probably succeeded at whatever it was I set out to succeed at.

BUT.... even more than, I'd like to be cherished. So I'd RATHER be cherished.

It would mean that I was loved for me. That the people who cherished me cherished me because they honestly loved me and not what I've done.

Because when I'm not here anymore, if I was honored, I would be given a decent memorial of what a honorable, intelligent, great man I was.

If I were cherished, I would be missed because I was their Alan, because I was just a guy they knew and loved.

I know that honor and respect I will get -- my brains easily will get me where I want, and I have a mix of firmness and charming that gets things done -- but love I've always had a problem with, since I tend to push people away.

I hope that all made sense.

[valenstein]

Cherished.

To me, being honored comes from DOING something great. Cherished comes from BEING someone great. If you can get both, you've made it.

[GypsyKaren]

To me, being honored is getting a nod for your accomplishments, which is well and good but totally unnecessary for me. Everything I've done for others are things that I expected of myself, such as putting my daughter through veterinary school, and I don't need or deserve a pat on the back for doing things I felt I should or wanted to do.

I want to be cherished, because to be cherished is to be loved, and to be loved means you're seen as a good person with a big heart, and it makes me feel good to know that others can see that in me.

Karen Starlene

[DemonicDaughter]

Honored doesn't equate any form of love. Cherish implies it.

[CaptLex]

Oh geez, I don't know . . . let me get back to you on that.

[Cai]

Oh geez, I don't know . . . let me get back to you on that.

That's what I said!

[CaptLex]

That's what I said!

Haha! That figures!

[TG-Taru]

I'm with Alan who said it so well and the girlies, cherished.

[Wendy me]

Would you rather be honored or cherished?



well to be honored and have people see what you have done to be put on a pedestal and honored ... might make a person feel good .... nothing can make you truly feel loved and special than to be cherished ........

guess what i saying is i would rather be cherished by one special person than be honored by thousands............

[Ásfríðr]

ooh i can't answer that properly, because i'm a meek individual, so i won't

cherished by your friends, honored by your fans. (a bit of both for groupies ect, you know how it is - sigh -)

but its like a kind of duality of recognition, i want love from those around me, and admiration for my "work" whatever that may be.
so would i rather be cherished or honored? Nope! hehe x

[ZenFrost]

At the moment, neither. I'd prefer to just be left alone. (of course, I'm also mad at whole bunch of people ATM)

Honored: Been there, done that, got a plaque. Whoop-de-do. Honor's overrated anyway.

Cherished: This I especially wouldn't want. If someone cherished me, then something happened to me, that person would be hurt. I'd rather be alone then do that to someone.

[deja true]

Hell! Even bad apples get honors! Honors are propaganda to further a particular agenda. And honors lose their lustre usually. (I'm thinking of that big bronze statue of Saddam Hussein being pulled down by the tank!) Honors? pfft!

To be cherished, even by just one, is the far, far better thing.

[DanaR]

Hell! Even bad apples get honors! Honors are propaganda to further a particular agenda. And honors lose their lustre usually. (I'm thinking of that big bronze statue of Saddam Hussein being pulled down by the tank!) Honors? pfft!

To be cherished, even by just one, is the far, far better thing.

Deja, I don't know a better way to say it.

[Lora Olivia]

I want to be cherished, because to be cherished is to be loved, and to be loved means you're seen as a good person with a big heart, and it makes me feel good to know that others can see that in me.

I hope you don't mind Karen, but your words so aptly describe my feelings. Thank You!! for putting it so succinctly

[CaptLex]

Okay I've thought about it, and I'm gonna take what's behind door number three, Monty. I'm gonna go with Zen's answer and say neither - though I reserve the right to amend my answer later, if I want (sorry, I watched too much Perry Mason as a kid ).

Being honored doesn't necessarily mean much - that and $2 will get me on the subway. And love . . . well, that's a whole other kettle of fish I don't want to get into at the moment. So I'm gonna choose a different option that wasn't offered - I prefer to be respected. How's that?

[GACountrygal]

Alan put it very well...

Cherished for who I really am/Loved for being ME.

[Cristi]

I'm posting my answer before reading the thread so I won't be influenced by what others have written. I'll read the rest afterward (and perhaps change my mind... and girl's perogative!)

My answer is based upon what my definitions of the words are. To be honored, in my opinion, is more of an ego thing. In a way, it is the same as saying 'others acknowledge that I am better than they are'. It is about what I have DONE, not who I AM. I think being honored is a less personal thing, more of a social construct.

To be cherished is about ME. My 'soul' if you will. I don't think you can be cherished without being really *known* by others, so see the entire person, flaws and all, and accepts you as you are.

Looking back at my life, I have striven to be 'honored' many many times. When I first read the question, I thought 'honored' right away... then started thinking it through.

It didn't take me more than a minute to realize that 'cherrished' is the answer for me. I think, in the end, that it means more.

BTW: EXCELLENT question, thank you for making me think.

[janexx]

Cherished.... Honoured seems a public thing, Cherished is likly to be more private. More like being loved.

Fondest,

Jane

[Punkster]

Hmmmm........

I have thought long and hard about this one. The result is a headache lol.

Seriously being honoured would be nice but its a little too fleeting for me, being cherished would be a good place to be but I wonder if I could handle it.

I think deep down we all want to be loved or cherished but if we actually were truly truly cherished could we accept it?

I find it easy to give of myself but not so easy to accept these things from other people.

[Hidden Tell]

Ideally both, of course. But if I can only have one I might pick honored. It's about the respect in alot of ways for me. Because my boyfriend cherishes me, there's no doubting it, but he really doesnt seem to know how to honor me and my feelings, and the rest of the relationship goes downhill from there....Or maybe Im just hypercritical. Either way.

[Nicki B]

Why can't we aim for both?

But of the two, being loved seems to me the most important..

[darla_g]

i think i like Ivy's answer so maybe that's a copout but its a fine answer

[Maria2004]

Would you rather be honored or cherished?

I'd like to hear why you picked a certain answer, but if you don't want to, you don't have to. I'm doing this as a thread rather than a poll because I want people to give me their answer after it's been thought through, not as an immediate button click.

Is that before, or after your dead? I pick neither, sometimes doing what's right for the best of others leaves you out, but your soul can rest.

I like rest.

[justmetoo]

For me it's easy - cherished