Moving into My Own Space!

[Jenna Lynne]

One or two of you may remember ... a year ago, when I first joined this forum, I was having a miserable time because I wanted to start dressing again (after 20 years of attempting to be Clark Kent, ignoring the inner Lois Lane). But I've been living with my mother. Mom knows nothing about my female side, and I absolutely don't want her to know, because either she'd be terribly upset or she'd try to buy me fashion items, and I don't know which would be worse.

So I was in a quandary. I laid low for a year and did nothing.

This month I finally bit the bullet ... or cinched up my girdle, I guess would be a nicer way to put it ... and got serious about renting a house. It's expensive, but I finally figured out my sanity was worth it.

So....

I found a sweet house, just right for me, and put in an application, and passed the credit check, and this afternoon I picked up the keys!!! I'm going to have my own place!!!

My plan for this house is, boy-self is not going to live there (though he'll answer the phone and pay the bills). Nobody is going to be invited in that I would have to hide my stuff from. I'm too damn old to run around stuffing the nail polish remover under the sink every time the doorbell rings!

I feel really, really good about this. I just wanted to share the good news with some folks who will appreciate what it means.

***Jenna Lynne***

(who is blowing kisses right and left as she strolls down the runway!)

[april1978]

It took me awhile but I finally saved enough money to buy my own house. It has helped me be more accepting of myself. I love being able to hang up my dresses instead of hiding them.
Congratulations and have fun!!
April

[vikki2020]

That is good news, Jenna!Enjoy your new found happiness,welcome home!

[Cristi]

Congratulations!!! What a wonderful feeling it is going to be to be able to leave your girl stuff wherever it ends up without having to hide things.

Just think... hose draped over the back of a chair, bras hanging from a door handle, 13 bottles of different shaded nail color (among other makeup odds and ends) on the bathroom vanity... a nice nightgown folded on your pillow.

Now its time to go out to buy the pink wall paint and frilly throws for the bed.

Seriously, if you DO ever have somebody that doesn't know about you in the house (a plumber, etc) he'll probably just ask you when your girlfriend is getting home.

[Niya W]

Waves to Jenna Lynne. Fellow Bay area girl. Nice to be able toi be your self aint it.

[sandra-leigh]

My plan for this house is, boy-self is not going to live there (though he'll answer the phone and pay the bills). Nobody is going to be invited in that I would have to hide my stuff from.

Just as a practical note:

It's going to be hard not to invite your mother over from time to time, and hard to have her not want to "drop over" when she is in the neighbourhood. Mothers notice if they are never invited over.. Other family do too. I didn't look back to see if you have other close family in the area, but as an adult, you will likely be expected to start hosting a share of xmas or easter dinners. And if you have a pool or hot-tub... family can get weird about never being invited over to use those.

[Angie G]

That's great new Jenna you go girl. and I say Party as jennas house.
Angie

[Mollyanne]

GOOD FOR YOU HUN, GOOD FOR YOU!!!!! The sanity and peace that you will feel is unmeasurable. Now you can really be the person that you are supposed to be. Good Luck!!!!!


Mollyanne

[Crissy Kay]

Very good news!!! Good luck with your new house!!!!

[Cary]

Just as a practical note:

It's going to be hard not to invite your mother over from time to time, and hard to have her not want to "drop over" when she is in the neighbourhood. Mothers notice if they are never invited over.. Other family do too. I didn't look back to see if you have other close family in the area, but as an adult, you will likely be expected to start hosting a share of xmas or easter dinners. And if you have a pool or hot-tub... family can get weird about never being invited over to use those.

I agree. I live alone, but am not always alone. Family and friends are always calling or dropping by. My neighbors are aways knocking at my door for one thing or another. I'm getting good at undressing quickly. I feel like I'm in a movie called CDer Interupted. Enough about my life, Congrats to you!

[Celeste]

That is so nice ,I consider my privacy invaluable.Hope you have lots of fun and relaxing times.

[Jenna Lynne]

It's going to be hard not to invite your mother over from time to time, and hard to have her not want to "drop over" when she is in the neighbourhood. Mothers notice if they are never invited over.. Other family do too. I didn't look back to see if you have other close family in the area, but as an adult, you will likely be expected to start hosting a share of xmas or easter dinners. And if you have a pool or hot-tub... family can get weird about never being invited over to use those.

No other family nearby, fortunately. And no pool or hot tub -- which is a good thing, as I wouldn't want to have to clean them!

Neighbors ... seems not too likely, because of the way the neighborhood is laid out. There is no one "next door," in the sense that no one else's door faces the same street from the same side on the same block. It's a short block.

I figure, as long as Mom comes over a few times while I'm moving, her curiosity will be satisfied. Why would she drop in unannounced? And because my car will be in the garage, if anyone comes over while I'm at home, they won't be able to tell from the outside whether anyone is at home. I can just ignore the doorbell if I feel like it.

Thanks for all your support!

***Jenna Lynne***

[Jilmac]

Jenna, after my wife passed away last year, my youngest son stayed with me until this past May. Now I too have the house all to myself and don't have to hide evedence. I can dress as often as I want or not at all. It's really nice being an empty nester.

[paulaN]

Happy happy joy joy.... I see a pink fog a heading your way. good luck.

[TxKimberly]

Good for you!

[Joy Carter]

So when is the party ?

[sandra-leigh]

I figure, as long as Mom comes over a few times while I'm moving, her curiosity will be satisfied. Why would she drop in unannounced?

"I was just over in the grocery store and they had your favourite flavour of ice-cream (pie, watermelon, whatever) on special for half price, and I knew you would want some on a day like this."

And sometimes that really is all that it means: a spontaneous gesture of affection and generosity. And sometimes it means "I miss you and I wanted to see you and this is the excuse I came up with because it is hard for me to just say that". And sometimes it means "You don't tell me as much about your life as I would like to know, and I came over to snoop around and check up on you". And sometimes it means "I want a chance to poke around and see if there is any sign that you are settling down with a woman so that I can hope for some grand-children before too long." And sometimes it means "I want to snoop around and see how well you are living so that I can figure out how much money I can guilt you into giving me." (Yes, some mothers are greedy or selfish or hooked on drugs or gambling.)

But in any case, whether it is announced or unannounced, mothers generally expect to visit their children from time to time, unless there has been A Falling Out. The good news is that this is probably manageable, as in it might be satisfied with (e.g.) Sunday dinner once a month. It depends on circumstances, though.

My mother, for example, would probably call up on random days and suggest a random activity (go for a walk, visit a market, drive in the hills, go out to eat) -- "family activities". I like spending time with my mother... I dunno, if I were to move Back Home, I might end up Telling Her. But then if I were to move Back Home, then because I go out publicly Dressed or (more often) gender-bending, there would be a non-trivial chance that she would happen to see me out somewhere anyhow.

[AnnaMaria]

Jenna,

I know how you are feeling right now. I just moved into my own apartment after 13yrs of living with two ex-wives. And I have decided much the same thing. I have already started to decorate my space the way that I feel comfortable with and I don't really care if someone else likes it or not. As long as it is comfortable to me that is all that counts.

Huggs
Anna

[Jenna Lynne]

I just moved into my own apartment after 13yrs of living with two ex-wives.

Didn't they get on one another's nerves?

Just kidding.

***Jenna Lynne***

[Jenna Lynne]

"I was just over in the grocery store and they had your favourite flavour of ice-cream (pie, watermelon, whatever) on special for half price, and I knew you would want some on a day like this."

My mother is also a food-pusher. That's a separate problem, but not trivial or unrelated. One of the lesser reasons I need my own space is precisely so I don't have to be subjected to random purchases of cookies and ice cream. If she brings any of that crap over, I'm going to make her watch while I put it down the disposal.

I want to lose another 15 pounds so I can fit into some of those cute outfits!

And sometimes that really is all that it means: a spontaneous gesture of affection and generosity. And sometimes it means "I miss you and I wanted to see you and this is the excuse I came up with because it is hard for me to just say that".

I'm expecting lots of phone calls. Daily. I'm getting Caller ID so I'll know what voice to use when I answer! And I'll be at her house for dinner at least once a week.

What I don't want is to have to constantly think about what I've left lying around. Like, oh, was I reading Kate Bornstein or Julia Serano last night and left the book lying on the table next to the easy chair? Having to think about all that stuff -- it just makes me crazy.

And it's already started. Cleaning out the storage locker this afternoon, I found a suitcase full of clothes hangers. Since I'm planning to do some clothes shopping in the very near future, this is a Good Thing. I think they were from Mom's house originally; they certainly weren't mine. One bunch are wrapped in pink and blue yarn, with little yarn tassels at the top. I guess the yarn is so your nice dresses and tops don't get marks from the metal of the hanger. So I had to decide ... hang them up in the closet in my bedroom, or hide them until I've finished moving in and I'm pretty sure Mom won't be back for a while?

This is precisely the kind of mental process I don't want to have to thrash around in. Ever again. I mean, sometimes you have to, if you're taking your car in for an oil change or something. I would not expect an auto mechanic to be friendly to a crossdresser; I would expect to get a few bolts "accidentally" loosened.

But auto mechanics are not coming over to my house, thankfully. Unless maybe one of my lesbian friends has a girlfriend who's an auto mechanic. That would be different.

***Jenna Lynne***

[Samantha Thomson]

yea i hear you i am looking for my own place so i can walk around and nobody will say anything because im wearing a skirt but apartments are exspencive here in ct and i only make 1200 a month


samantha