Hello all, how would everyone be?
I am really curious into how any of you go about, or if you do, go on dates with males and all that jazz. And does it normally have a happy/ish ending? (And not the dirty happy, clean happy).
Hello all, how would everyone be?
I am really curious into how any of you go about, or if you do, go on dates with males and all that jazz. And does it normally have a happy/ish ending? (And not the dirty happy, clean happy).
No, I don't go on dates. I'm a male heterosexual, married to a wonderful lady for more than 30 years. I dress for me, and not to attract men.
[SIZE="4"][/SIZE]"You can have my stilletoes when you can prise them from my cold, dead feet"
I wouldn't know...
I'm straight and married
I think that you will find that you might be on the wrong message forum, Crossdresserlover!!! I mean the definition of 'Crossdresser' is a heterosexual male that dons the clothing of a female. That would indicate to me that the 'majority' of the girls here are probably NOT dating males.
I am certain that there are some of the girls that would be interested in having someone be their platonic escort for the evening, but beyond that, I think you would be fighting a losing battle.
I think you may be looking more for a transexual. Someone that feels they are in the wrong body. I mean if they were to change their body to female, then a 'normal' heterosexual relationship would involve dating a male. There you would treat her like any other girlfriend and let the relationship develope or die as most relationships do!
There isn't a 'special way' to date a transgendered person!! I don't believe we have 'secret handshakes' or 'secret airkisses' in order to tell someone it is ok to ask us out for the evening. Just be ready for a LOT of rejection!!!
(If anyone knows this weeks secret handshake..... PM me!!!)
Lisa E
I'm still on a date with my wife after a quarter century....no time for men!
You don't have to have been born female to enjoy being a girl
No, I think this forum is as much for gay and bi CDs as it is for you, thank you very much.Originally Posted by LisaElizabeth
Where on earth did you come up with that idea? That may be your definition, but it is not the definition.
And that's fine, but maybe that just means you should refrain from sounding off in this particular thread, because it's obvious that on this particular subject, you have no idea what you're talking about.
Is a battle necessary? How about if we just accept and respect each other, equally.
That's certainly one option ... or, maybe he really is specifically interested in a CD, and there are definitely CDs in this forum who might be interested in him.
My thoughts exactly. Cogent responses all.
May you live long and prosper.
Infinite diversity in infinite combinations.
"Smiling makes my face ache." F. N. Furter
Sherri got it right, like most things in life, crossdressers fall into a bell-shaped curve: most fit into the "heterosexual male" category but there are many exceptions, and sometimes people evolve too...a few years ago I posted a thread about my experiences dating a guy, and my ears are still burning over the outrage from crossdressers who felt threatened, or thought their SO's might get the wrong idea about them....
My wife won't let me date hun.
Angie
I would not agree with that statement, I've never heard or seen that.
However, the Meeting Place board here might be a better place to inquire.
I will say that many of us like this place because it is not a meat market and is open discussion, so be polite and genuine, please read all the forum rules, then it's all good.
If it's just sex or dating, you would have MUCH better luck elsewhere.
I read in your intro post that you had never admitted to being attracted to CD's before now. I know how that feels, why not talk about your feelings.
So many of us can spot an ulterior motive light years away, as long as you are genuine, I have no problems with it.
This isn't really a dating site. Unless u count those of us that "date" our female counterparts!
There r other CD sites that specialise in dating. They discuss the kind of questions u ask, quite often!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
Hi there. I hope you can overlook the less than helpful responses that some of the gurls have posted. As far as I'm concerned, you and your questions are welcome here. And thanks for being so polite and honest in your inquiry. I'll try to answer you if I can.
I guess there are basically two ways to go about meeting and dating CDs -- online and in person. If you hang out at sites like this forum or dating sites like AFF and do some digging, you might find gurls in your area and strike up conversations which could lead to dates. Also, don't overlook online resources like GLBT sites, community-specific gay sites, TG support groups, etc. Any or all of these may lead you to personal contacts.
Because of prejudices in our society, most CDs are careful about how and where they choose to venture out in person. Find out if your community has any gay/lesbian bars where you might meet CDs. If you don't see any CDs, get to know the bartenders and let them know what you're looking for, they might be able to steer you in the right direction. Also, check your phone book and alternative publications for ads for GLBT support organizations in your community -- get in touch with them and find out about activities you might can participate in. And last but not least, look for a Metropolitan Community Church or similar organizations that are CD-friendly and get involved.
As for actually dating a CD, I can't speak for all gurls, but I can tell you what interests me, and what is important to me. I am single, and CDing can definitely be lonely at times, so yeah, I'm very much interested in dating, but I do have my criteria:
- The guy must be genuinely attracted to and interested in TGs -- in my case, that means CD. If you're just not, believe me, I'll pick up on that in a heartbeat. Be sincere or forget it.
- I may be a guy in a skirt, but when I have a skirt on, I expect to be treated like a girl, just as he would treat a GG. In return, I love to treat a guy the way guys love to be treated by a girl.
- If the guy is just interested in getting laid, I'm not interested. I can get that just about any time, if I'm willing to take the sleazy route, which I'm not. Meeting in secret in a motel for a quickie does not constitute a date. If that's what you have in mind, just keep right on looking.
- If the idea of being seen in the company of a CD makes you uncomfortable, then I am definitely not your gurl.
- Most CDs have a "regular" or "straight" life that they need to protect from society's prejudice, so discretion is important, and consequently I have to be selective about where I go, and I fully understand that you may be in a similar situation. But there are plenty of places we can go on a date, be welcomed and safe and have a good time, so let's just skip the excuses, okay? I've heard them all.
I hope this helps. If you have any other questions, let me know and I'll try to answer them as best I can.
xoxo
PS -- Oops, I forgot to answer your question about happy endings. I'm not really an authority on that particular subject. I've only been at this bi thing a relatively short time and have yet to find that special someone with whom to have a really meaningful relationship. But based on other people's stories and my own thoughts, I have to be honest and admit that crossdressing is an inherently complicated situation for most of us, and that can't help but carry over into relationships. It seems like longterm love is a tough proposition for most people these days, and it seems especially so for gays, and maybe love with a CD is even tougher to pull off. But if both of you know in advance what they're looking for, and are willing to go the extra mile to overcome the additional complexity, then you have as good a chance as anyone. And instead of viewing the situation as problematic, I'm inclined to dwell more on the unique opportunities CDing can bring to a relationship. Think about it.
Last edited by sherri; 08-26-2008 at 11:11 AM.
I for one followed your dating threads with great interest and thoroughly appreciated your candor.
Well, I gotta tell ya, their outrage deeply offends me. It's just another form of prejudice, which you would think all of us here want to avoid like the plague. I know how tender your heart and feelings are, because that's how I feel, so it's difficult to be as thick-skinned as we have to be sometimes. I know that, like me, you long for acceptance and companionship, even love and romance, and you have every right to try to fulfill that longing. If you want to find that fulfillment in the company and arms of a man, then more power to you and don't let anyone's self-serving prejudice stand in your way.
And I do not buy that SO argument as grounds for exclusion or discrimination, either. I understand their concern, but I just want to say something to all the SOs here: yes, some of us CDs are bi or gay. And yes, some bi-curious CDs cheat on their SOs. Anybody who tells you different is lying. But that does not mean that your CD is bi or gay -- in fact, the odds are heavily in favor of him/her being thoroughly hetero, especially if he is involved in a committed relationship with an accepting GG. In this regard, CDs aren't much different than the general population. The vast majority are hetero and wish to stay that way; a much smaller percentage is openly gay, while an even tinier fraction is bi. Odds are, your CD just wants you to accept and love him as best you can.
what Sherri said
So CD Lover, You have heard both sides, the "Oh no I don't like men and I doubt any other CDs do" and then Sherri's insightful response
But yeah just treat a CD of your interest as you would any other lady and things will at least go smooth, even if she is not interested in men. You could still be friends and maybe she will have a CD friend who IS looking for a guy to date.
I will tell you a little secret that you will enjoy - From the girls I have known, be they CD or TS, usually the prettier ones are more likely to be open to the idea of dating a man. Some of the best looking TS date ONLY men.
Try not to forget though - even the best looking CDs out there are still a guy underneath, and not normally a particularly feminine one. Hard to believe when you see some of the photos of this totally passable CD but just keep that in mind so if you see a pretty CD in male mode, you don't go into shock.
It takes a true Erin to be a pain in the assatar.
Wow, this is one of the best threads I have read in a long time. Thank you, Sherri. There are times on this site where I feel that the bisexual or bi-curious among us are not listened to in the same way as the hetero majority. I'm so happy to see someone standing up for herself (especially when she represents my opinions) with such conviction.
I've never gone on a date with a man, mostly bc the prospect of figuring out how is daunting. The dressing up, for me, has always stayed in my room, alone. When I date women I never even bring up the idea of dressing. It's true that crossdressing and dating makes for an often lonely pursuit. But that's why a place like this is so amazing for a person like me. And reading this thread I was reminded of that.
[SIZE="3"]+
= Kayla Glass[/SIZE]
Thank you windy and sherri for saying what I just had to say,too.
Lover did not ask if this was a dating site, he knows that from the intro page!
He did not ask for a date. He can already tell that a vast majority here are married heteros and many go out of their way to let everybody know of their uber starightness.
All he asked was if anybody here dates and how did it go! A question I'd like to hear the answer to as well!
Gosh, for a bunch of guys brave enough to wear dresses, ya'll are sure a bunch scaredy cats!
Well, I am hetero, yes. I also like to think that I am tolerant of others whose sexual preferences extend into areas that I have no desire to explore.
I was the first person to reply to this new member, and I did so with honesty and without any suggestion of discrimination.
I continue to tolerate and support anyone with an alternative lifestyle as long as there are no children involved, and it does not interfere with what I want to do with my life.
[SIZE="4"][/SIZE]"You can have my stilletoes when you can prise them from my cold, dead feet"
If you search this forum using the word --poll-- you'll come up with a few threads concerning sexuality and dating.
Such as
http://crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=81680
or
http://crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=80807
Clearly there is overwhelming evidence that not all trans folk are heterosexual. So I don't understand how anyone here can define crossdressers as being hetero. Maybe the've not read many of the threads here that indicate otherwise.
DonnaT
i just find it a lil ammusing to see responces like your first post. It may have been open and honest, but it was also quite defensive, and whether you meant it or not, implied that tranny who do date men dress for that reason.
Just so as you know, i exclussively date men, but i dress for myself also
Well all the research that I have seen suggests that the percentage of gay or bi crossdressers is about equal to the general population. Being married I do not date so I can't answer the original ? That being said "we" still have to say we are bi and "our" SO has said that she understands my desire to be fulfilled as a woman, in other words for me to have sex as a woman with a man
Lora
All I want is a world somewhere, a place to wear pretty underwear
A dress, some makeup, hose and heels
OH wouldn't it be loverly
"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing"---Helen Keller
All he asked was if anybody here dates and how did it go! A question I'd like to hear the answer to as well!
I will answer Crossdresser Lovers post in the way that that she was originaly asking for an answer. No, I do not date men. I seek the friendship and company of other straight cd's for fun times dressing up and going out together for a good time sharing mutual interests that do not involve sex. I have found that it is difficult to find a friend like this in the rural area of Iowa that I am from. I will keep looking and continue to decline the offers of men looking for sex with a cd that I recieve from my posts on sites other than this one.
for an honest answer it depends on what you consider a date . i have been out with men it went well. if your talking about have sex with them well did not happen we went out talked a lot. after a little kiss on the cheek as a thank you and thats it .. kind of boring not much to tell.
i like meeting sisters for friendship nothing else
Last edited by MJ; 08-26-2008 at 03:53 PM.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Well, I am bi, married and a crossdresser. My wife knows and she also knows the guy I "date". He is my best friend from childhood. He and his wife are god parents to my kids and my wife and I are the same to his. I guess I don't really date, I just get together with him when the urge strikes. My wife knows, his wife knows and they are fine with it. They would rather we keep it between him and I and we don't ***** around with other poeple. Everyone stays clean, everyone stays happy. So, I guess you don't have to be hetero to be a crossdresser.
Funny how some words will set alarms. If she had asked if any of us had spent an evening or an afternoon with a man I wonder if it would have stirred up quite as much of an uproar.
I assume that they great majority of CDs are, by definition, heterosexual. Still, that doesn't require social exclusivity either.
Certainly I have gone to this or that event with a guy. Never did it dressed, however. I doubt that I would feel comfortable but not because of any sexual issues.
But, yeah, my wife frowns upon me dating also. Seriously, she makes me completely happy.
Posting Permissions
