Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 34

Thread: Do I stay or do I go now?

  1. #1
    Nikkixd
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Yeovil, Somerset, England
    Posts
    3

    Do I stay or do I go now?

    My wife knows that I've cross dressed in the past, but doesn't know that I still do. We nearly split up when she found out. I love her dearly, but I also love wearing her things (and my own fem wardrobe) when she's not around! I fantasize about sleeping with guy's when I'm glam. I dream about life as a woman, but I enjoy hetro sex almost as much as gay sex!
    Surely I can't be the only one in this situation! What do I do? Stay secret and try to get secret meetings with guy's from chat site's or stay true to my wife and deal with who I truely am, as best I can? lol Nikki

  2. #2
    Junior Member Monica Santos's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    45

    Smile I understand your dilema

    I am married with a toddler, crossdressed fully for a number of years...and I only know, that I know of. Anyways, I am hetro and love sex and can not see myself having homosexual relations...it's repulsive, ok? Don't get me wrong, I do watch reruns of Will & Grace. ;-) But, dressed as a women, then wishing to be a women, I dream of having sex with a male. Go figure.

    Nikki, if I were you...stay the course with your wife. You said she is the love of your life, right? Ask yourself this, what would you do w/o her? Lonliness can be a powerful depressent. Maybe you should get a dildo and go from there...(respectfully speaking).

    Respectfully, Monica
    Last edited by Monica Santos; 09-04-2008 at 04:50 PM. Reason: incorrect spelling

  3. #3
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    85
    well my gf feels like im cheating on her when I dress, and little does she know I feel the need to dress all the time

  4. #4
    Silver Member Annaliese's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    In Cedar City Utah
    Posts
    2,169
    Cheating is cheating with a guy or a girl, if you love her then stay the course. Why do some people think it is not cheating if it is with the some sex. You have to decide what you want if it is a man then let your wife go. Don't bring any thing SD home she dose not deserve that.

    Anna
    Last edited by Annaliese; 09-04-2008 at 05:01 PM.

  5. #5
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    85
    im not cheating on her, she just feels that my dressing in itself is cheating

  6. #6
    Tricia Dale tricia_uktv's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Chesterfield, Derbyshire. UK
    Posts
    1,478
    Hi Nikki,

    Simple answer is that you talk, and sort it out yourselves. But you say you fantazise about gay sex then that you enjoy it. Before you talk I think you need to get yourself ready. Take your time and be open and honest. You may lose her but that may be the right thing in the long run. Good luck.
    I strut my stuff, I feel so proud,
    I need to shout, to scream out loud,
    I am Tricia I am she,
    I am who I want to be

    http://tricia-dale.blogspot.com/

  7. #7
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    196
    You have my permission to cheat on your wife. I also give my full support to your wife cutting the brake lines of your car. Remember the universe doesn't care but it never forgets.

  8. #8
    Member AnnaMaria's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    NW Indiana
    Posts
    440
    Nikki,

    I have to agree with Tricia on this. I really think that you need to take some time to really figure out what you want and then sit down with your wife and talk to her about it.

    Without a doubt divorce is depressing but the other side of the coin is that if your divorce is friendly then you might still be able to have her in your life. But if you cheat and she finds out then there will be no chance for a friendly divorce and who knows what might come to light that you don't want the world to know if you hurt her by cheating.

    good luck

    Anna
    [SIZE=5]Be who you are not who others think you should be.
    May the Great Spirit Bless you in all things.[SIZE=2]
    My website: [/SIZE]
    [/SIZE]
    [SIZE=5][SIZE=2]http://360.yahoo.com/mrsanna_25
    [/SIZE]
    [/SIZE]
    [SIZE=5][SIZE=2] The Be-All Website: http://www.be-all.org/
    The National Center for Transgender Equality http://www.nctequality.org/
    [/SIZE]

    [/SIZE]

  9. #9
    Platinum Member Angie G's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    just west of syracuse n.y.
    Posts
    22,887
    Cheating is just wrong and you may go to hell for it anyone who cheats deserves to loose what you have . I sorry but I can't be Little Miss nice Angie on this one.And anyone who cheats gets no hug.
    Angie

  10. #10
    Happy chrerrywine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    56
    I also agree cheating is cheating no matter who it is with and sometimes when you have feelings like you do I feel you are already cheating because the mind is a powerful thing, sometime's the more you think about it the worse it get's and the more you want it, don't forgot you took vow's and made a commitment to your wife at the start, she must love you for who you were and who you are. I myslef worry when I see married cd'er having these feeling down the road after marriage as I'm getting married in Feb. and hope he/she never changes but then I guess all things change in life but sometimes we lose a lot when we don't think things through and make good choices. I hope you have a good talk with your so and that you come to a happy ending becasue life is to short to give up the good things..chrerrywine

  11. #11
    Gold Member DonnaT's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Northern Virginia
    Posts
    6,608
    Leave the fantasies as fantasies. Unless your wife give you permission to have sex outside the marriage, then don't.

    It's one of the biggest worries wives have. Not cool.
    DonnaT

  12. #12
    Member leslie ann's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    sunny so cal
    Posts
    126
    im with angie cheating is soooo fuc&%* lame simply a lack of SELF RESPECT and not to mention lack respect for your partner

  13. #13
    Gold Member TxKimberly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Austin Texas area
    Posts
    6,377
    Sorry, cheating is cheating. Man, woman, TG, cat, dog, i don't care - it's cheating.

  14. #14
    Luvin it Patty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    North San Diego County
    Posts
    832
    Quote Originally Posted by TxKimberly View Post
    Sorry, cheating is cheating. Man, woman, TG, cat, dog, i don't care - it's cheating.
    My thoughts also

  15. #15
    Faith's Girl Kimberly Marie Kelly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Allentown PA
    Posts
    1,445

    Mine thoughts too, Cheating is cheating

    Nothing more. Kim

  16. #16
    Administrator Tamara Croft's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Posts
    27,770
    always the dang newbies.... If you need to ask us whether or not to cheat on your wife with other men, you seriously need to get a clue... would you like your wife to cheat on you with numerous men from chat sites?
    Administrator

    Missing my Libra babe Sherlyn, I hope she's rocking up there with the angels
    Missing our Rianna, doesn't seem right, gone to early, hope she's partying with Sherlyn

  17. #17
    good girl inside Lora Olivia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    hole in the wall, Iowa
    Posts
    495
    Quote Originally Posted by Tamara Croft View Post
    always the dang newbies.... If you need to ask us whether or not to cheat on your wife with other men, you seriously need to get a clue... would you like your wife to cheat on you with numerous men from chat sites?
    Or numerous women from chat sites for that matter. Cheating is cheating. Now that being said, I believe that sex is just sex, and if it is mutually agreed upon between spouses that the other may engage is sex with others, then as long as you practice safe sex then I see nothing wrong with it.

    Lora

    All I want is a world somewhere, a place to wear pretty underwear
    A dress, some makeup, hose and heels
    OH wouldn't it be loverly

    "Life is either a daring adventure or nothing"---Helen Keller

  18. #18
    Trans Species Joy Carter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    OHIO
    Posts
    6,259
    You have to realize the value of your wife, vs gay sex. I'm not making judgements here. But if your relationship is strong, she will be there long after your desire for self gratification is gone. You have to be fair to her. You could bring home an std. Have you talked to her about your desire to dress ?

  19. #19
    Unofficial CD Mom Holly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    In between states.
    Posts
    8,041
    Quote Originally Posted by Nikkixd View Post
    ...What do I do? Stay secret and try to get secret meetings with guy's from chat site's or stay true to my wife and deal with who I truely am, as best I can? lol Nikki
    Sorry Nikki, but you need to fish or cut bait. Your choices are to fully commit yourself to your existing relationship and to solicit wife's support in your cross dressing OR let her go now and be free to pursue whatever relationship(s) you want. Anything else is unfair to you, your wife or both of you.
    Fulltime girl on the inside.
    Lipstick=confidence

    [SIZE=4]Holly[/SIZE]

  20. #20
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Orange County, Calif.
    Posts
    24,788

    Nikki,

    U need to decide for yourself, what you want to do next.

    As a divorced guy, I can only say, u r treading in VERY THIN ICE rite now!
    Consider all the consequences before u act on your fantasies!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  21. #21
    Silver Member kittypw GG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    2,491
    Quote Originally Posted by Nikkixd View Post
    My wife knows that I've cross dressed in the past, but doesn't know that I still do. We nearly split up when she found out. I love her dearly, but I also love wearing her things (and my own fem wardrobe) when she's not around! I fantasize about sleeping with guy's when I'm glam. I dream about life as a woman, but I enjoy hetro sex almost as much as gay sex!
    Surely I can't be the only one in this situation! What do I do? Stay secret and try to get secret meetings with guy's from chat site's or stay true to my wife and deal with who I truely am, as best I can? lol Nikki
    Ok I want to tell you that my friend Randy who is DEAD now from a horrible AIDS related illness met guys like you all the time and did not always use condoms. They all got letters from the department of health!!!

    I think it is a no brainer. Stop wearing her things first of all. Ahhh.... I would suggest stay true to your wife (you fricking made a commitment after all) and deal with who you truley are. Get some counseling for crying out loud.
    Stop your stupid daydreaming and work something out with your wife. If you screw it up you will regret it for a life time. Day dreams do not sustain a life, it is just fantasy. Please get some perspective before it is too late!!!

    This is your slap in the face. Wake up to reality. Many of the cd's will tell you that it is not so easy to find an accepting partner and if you think another guy will be intersted in more than sex with you, you really do need some help. I'm telling you this as a friend not a foe. I hope you take the advise.


    Kitty

  22. #22
    Silver Member darla_g's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    terrapin station, you need to guess a little bit
    Posts
    3,664
    i agree with Anna, having a meet with someone else is crossing the line. No matter what else you would do is minor. Don't screw up your marriage and your life off of what your little brain is telling you.
    but please forget the illicit liaisons.
    Last edited by darla_g; 09-05-2008 at 12:09 AM.

  23. #23
    DawnRodgers DawnRodgers's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Central Florida
    Posts
    462
    Well, I just told my dog Baron that I had seen the light and our relationship is over. He looked so sad and when he was put out that night, he never came back. My wife found out what I did and now she is mad at me. Now what?

  24. #24
    GG ReineD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Samsara
    Posts
    21,377
    Quote Originally Posted by Holly View Post
    Sorry Nikki, but you need to fish or cut bait. Your choices are to fully commit yourself to your existing relationship and to solicit wife's support in your cross dressing OR let her go now and be free to pursue whatever relationship(s) you want. Anything else is unfair to you, your wife or both of you.
    Glad to see you back, Holly!!

    Even if you do not cheat physically, the fact that you enjoy and fantasize about sex with men while dressed more than having sex with your wife, will be felt by her eventually and it will drive a wedge in your relationship. Please spare her this and choose one or the other.
    Reine

  25. #25
    Banned Spammer
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Between here and there but mostly here close to the donuts.
    Posts
    22,257
    Where did the idea of cheating being OK come from?Its the pits plain and simple.
    You made a pact with your wife live up to it don't be a dick.
    My last two wives cheated on me and I can tell you its devistating.
    The gay sex thing you describe is just as bad you don't just go out and have sex with anybody sheeze!
    I am bi as all here know and I don't engage in"gay" intercourse with my guy its just too dangerous.I know that sounds odd but we agreed on it.
    Our relationship is very special and trust is a very big part of it.Don't blow your marriage over a fantasy.

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State