I dont dress all the time perhaps twice a month but when i do I'm kinda lucky that my wife will tell me that she wants a girly time, and cos i know her I can give her some good advice when I'm en femme, because I tell her i know what a man wants,and she can tell me (girl to girl) what a woman needs.Is that ok? Frenchie Gina
My Bride is the best. She allows, participates, and encourages me. She often encourages me to "tuck" and wear clothes that are technically women's but pass as men's. Shirts, jeans, shorts, shoes, bras, panties, hose,... the whole nine yards. Last weekend, we spent four days out of town and she only wanted me to bring women's things. She even insisted that I buy women's running shoes specifically for the trip. Our first afternoon was spent getting pedicures and manicures together. As a surprise, she bought me champagne lipstick and eye shadow that matches my skin tone so that I could wear makeup while out. I don't fully dress when out except the occassional costume party. She knows I enjoy it, it satisfies my needs and desires and she is completely supportive. I consider myself one of the lucky ones...
as michelle's girlfriend, i'm so glad he told me right away. i think honesty is best....i support michelle and feel lucky to have such a loving person. you cannot change who he is on the inside and never would because that's the person i fell in love with. i'm sure michelle was scared to tell me because he was afraid what i would think. i was told up front so that i knew what i was getting into. yeah, can be kinky at times, and full of fun, but that's just the beginning. it's not for sex, it's who michelle is inside and out. so for all those guys out there that are afraid to tell, that's sad. i want michelle to love me for who i am, aren't i suppose to do the same?...we do shop together and i even pick out some FABULOUS outfits, (i'm jealous), it's fun. My only complaint is that we don't get to go out often enough, and sometimes michelle is so absorbed in what SHE looks like (pink fog) that sometimes theres a teensy bit of jealousy on my part....V
My wife knew I had these tendencies when we married. She even bought me a long nightgown. But as soon as I showed more interest than as a very minor hobby, she didn't want any of it. She asked if I would curtail it (then it was just dressing in the bedroom) I did try and was mostly successful (only dressing in some underwear on rare occasions).
When we moved back to the USA from overseas, we were separated for some months. During that time, I joined a cd group, and began to go out dressed. As soon as she came over with the kids, I told her I was going out, etc. She nearly divorced me there and then. Our current status is not good. She won't talk about it except to ask me if I am gay, and do I want to go further. I currently go out dressed 2 days a month (occasionally a little more). She thinks once a month is too much, and clearly thinks 0 times would be best. I do want to go further, but have been unsure if I would act on that as I know the consequences. I do plan on discussing this with her, and asking her to come on the journey with me (for the last time). I know she won't be there with me, though.
Generally she gives me mean looks, makes occasional rude comments like, " I can't imagine that you look at all good..you must be embarrassed when people see you...people are laughing at you..." Her 2 main points (pretty common for ggs that are non-supportive) are
1. I can't imagine even seeing you dressed as a woman
2. I don't want to grow old living with another woman
So I, like many, will probably have to leave (sadly, with regret)
to live the life I want.
The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.
- Dolly Parton
Wife knows but does not want to.So I stay closeted for now and continue to underdress when I can and fully dress when able(not too frequently).I would love to attend at meeting with others or go to a CD ball either alone or with my wife.Tomorrow Im going for a back and bottom wax and will enquire about the XXX
I cant wait to fully dress in my new chococlate satin pant suit and shawl.I tried it on and the saleswoman said it looked lovely on me(even without make up or wig.I was flattered!
Pattie
My EX wife is my EX because she could not stand it.
As for living full time? I had given some thought to it many years ago going the whole hog so to speak, but would not persue it now.
Out'a my mind
back in 5 minutes
leave a message!!
I just cme out to her a couple days ago. She seems to still be computing. Hopefully, she'll will check out this site and it will help her form at least some opinion about it. Though did say that this doesn't change the fact that she loves me or that she is going to spend her life with me.
- Executive Transvestite
I came out to my wife 1.5 years ago, after 15 years of being married.
It has taken some time, but she is now very confy with it, at first she said ok whatever, but would not be seen in public with me, but after the first time out she would much rather go out with me as Samantha than the male side anytime.
She took the pic for my avatar, and when we take a bath, she usually lays out my underclothes for me as she gets out first, (I still have to mow the lawn, (shave)), in my underwear drawer is panties and my male under shorts, I have yet to get out of the tub and find anything but panties laid out.
If I go for more than a day without wearing my heels around the house she asks me what is wrong and that you know if you don't wear your heels your legs are going to start hurting when you do put them on.
Or if for some reason I do not dress for a day or three she will tell me I am about due to turn Samantha loose, and she will also ask me if I think Samantha will cook, mostly breakfast, lol.
So yes it took some time, but at this stage she is very confortable and accepting of my CDing.
Oh and yes she helps with my hair, makeup, and clothes, but then she also loves it when I help her paint her nails.
As for being a full time female, yes and no here.
I am taking herbs to grow my breasts, (hate using the forms), and yes I live pretty much 24/7 as Samantha, very few times when I am forced into malemode these days, but I am not nor do I have any plans to go all the way and have any surgery or anything, I plan to leave this earth with everything God gave me, and maybe a lil more.
Huggggggggggggggs
Samantha
Last edited by Legs; 02-19-2009 at 08:15 AM.
Samantha you lucky girl.
For me, my gg of almost ten years is supportive and accepting and really justs understands my need to be fem. She will however, along with her friends who are attached to other gender enhanced people, get some entertainment from seeing a group of us together, strutting in high heels. They get a chuckle watching us and reminding each other how we mentioned earlier in the evening how heels don't hurt our feet. I too laugh as I see many slipping their shoes slightly off after an evening of standing in them. lol
My situation is very humorous in many ways. I thought that she forgot about me dressing after all these years, she knew I had never stopped and that I always had what she calls "that stuff". So after revisiting the issue with her just this month she is fine with my dressing. She does not mind if I do so at home, alone, but does not want me to go out. It is hard to admit, but I also agree, certainly not in this area, it could be a big problem due to the sensitivity of my profession. However she feels the world is too small and right now her only boundary for me to follow is do not go out. So I dress and dream.
As for full time, I too have wrangled with those feelings since my young teens and twenties. Now, I think about it and really would like to do so. Maybe as I transition more within my working profession the options may become more tangible. I am myself in all of this, so as my outward presentation does not always match, my inner self is and will be female.
Wow such a long thread!
I suppose I'll add my bit in. My wife has known since our third date or thereabouts I think? It was one of the first things I told her. She loves it , has confessed to me she gets incredibly turned on by CD'ing and that she was lucky to just happen upon one as a life partner. She ALso CD's FTM quite often, and our lifestyle is pretty open. She gets upset when I do it alone, because she wants to see. And we were married last June, so she definitely went in knowing what she was getting into! Now to be fair, there have been some squabbles. Like when we both want the same blouse, and she has definite opinions on my makeup, she prefers dark colors and I like brighter pastels and strawberries and peaches. amanda likes the happy colors
Accepting? Well she brings home an awful lot of clothes for me to try on, and is always ready to recommend her favorite underwear. I'd say she's accepting.
Amanda
I`m lucky,,,wife has accepted and tolerates well,,,just worried someday she may say`` i`ve had enough``,,,but bottom line,,i know she loves me,,,and I in return,,,I think thats what keeps things on an even level and understanding that we all have our own faults,,,,just my two cents
Amazing how long this thread has been going on! And it's an important topic - possibly the most important issue a guy can face if he's married or planning to marry.
I know in other posts, and on my blog, I sound like I'm coming down pretty harsh on my sisters who don't tell, but I haven't been in your slippers so I can't really judge. Maybe you thought you could "cure" yourself by keeping the urge under wraps. Maybe you thought she would be more hurt by knowing than not knowing.
Nevertheless, I am a strong advocate of being open from the moment that you realize you might spend the rest of your life with the other person. And I say this as someone who is so far back in the closet it would destroy my career, my family relations (outside the home), my church life, and my social life in this small midwest town where everybody knows everything about everybody else. Regardless of that, I told my wife before we got married.
I can't stress enough: secrets destroy a marriage. There is no such thing as a "little white lie". The bigger the secret, and the longer you hide it, the more certain it will be that your relationship cannot withstand the inevitable moment when the lie is discovered. I will tell nobody else ever about my crossdressing, but as soon as the future Mrs. Ralph and I started seriously talking marriage plans, I made sure she knew exactly what she was getting into. I approached it delicately, in guy clothes: something along the lines of "There's something you need to know about me before we go any further. I don't always buy my clothes from the men's side of the store. I can't explain it, but I also know that I can't stop it. I like soft things..." etc. I also made it *very* clear that I had no desire or intention to make people believe I'm female or do any hardware changes to become female; I only like to wear women's clothes. By the time I got through all that, she was relieved it was "only" crossdressing and not a major marriage breaker like being gay or already married.
I had a similar talk with my (now grown) kids when I thought they were old enough to understand. They're very uncomfortable about it - maybe it embarrasses them, maybe they're afraid someone outside the family will find out - so for their sake I wear something with pants while they are in the house (never mind that the PJs and blouses still come from the women's side of the store, they're still pants). When it's just the missus and me, I dress freely and enjoy every minute of it. She doesn't discuss it or get involved, doesn't encourage it or buy me things, but neither does she complain... and that's all I could ever ask.
All of the above goes by way of explaining that we need to make concessions too. We can't demand that our loved ones become fanatically excited about what we do, although I understand that some here are blessed to have just such eagerly participating spouses. What we do makes us *different* to the extreme, and different is scary for most people. I can't blame them at all for being at the very least confused by our urges - heck, after 40 years I'm still confused myself. So if your wife isn't so wild about the dressing, give her plenty of time with you as a guy and find times when it won't bother her so much to have you dressing up.
Marriage is a give and take relationship; you have to give a little on your side if you want her to do the same for you.
ralph
I told my wife about 7 years ago that I was interested in wearing her clothes. At first she was really turned on to the idea, and she gave me several complete sets of clothing from her wardrobe: Dresses, gowns, bras, undies, garters, stockings, etc -- but no shoes.
We would also go into clothing stores and go into the changing rooms together so I could try on clothes. But after a while she started resenting it when I would borrow something else from her wardrobe, and the final straw came when she had just bought some new lingerie and I tried it on before she did. Big mistake!!!
She is especially turned on when I am dressed during lovemaking.
All that being said, she is afraid that I might start associating with other CD's or have sex outside our marriage.
I have never gone out dressed in public, except on Halloween. My fantasy is to go out dressed with my wife to go clothes shopping. I told her this and she told me that she wouldn't go with me unless I shaved my beard, and that she didn't want me to shave it because she liked it too much. So, yes, I know that I am extremely limited unless I shave, but I'm not ready to go against her wishes there yet. At first I felt uncomfortable looking at myself dressed with a beard, but my wife is really turned on by it. I'm slowly warming up to it.
As far as being a full time CD, I'd have to get passable before I could consider it. On the other hand, I really enjoy being dressed all day inside our house with my wife, and also sleeping in soft silk nightees. OK, I'll stop now.
My wife tried for 4 years after finding out to live with it. She couldn't. She's leaving me a week from today as a matter of fact. It really sucks.
My fem side is always with me, always on my mind and leaks in to things I do in guy mode. The same is true vice versa. But I don't intend on making any permanent changes.
dann
(Leena)
dann
"It's a great big white world, if we are drained of our colors."
"Think for yourself. Question authority"
I told my wife just after Christmas. We have been married 8.5 years. So far she has been very supportive. I have eliminated all male underclothes (other than undershirts). Today for work I wore pantyhose and a girdle under my male clothes and once home I put a bra on. This is becoming more the norm. She and I have gone shopping for clothes and shoes ; even been in the dresssing room while I try clothes on. But we have only done this while I am dressed as a man. We still have kids at home, so my dressing is limited to when they are out of town. Saturday will be a big day, we are attending our first meeting and I am fully dressing for the event. She is still trying to digest all of this. As far a dressing full time; once the kids are out of the house (at least 7 years away) I would prefer be Lisa 24/7, but that is a bridge to be crossed later. Lots of time between now and then.
She hates it when I go out dressed, thinks once a month too much, even though she agreed to twice a month (she musta been under duress). She prefers to not talk about it all, except to make rude comments. She can't imagine me dressed, and equates mtf cders as guys in skirts, uglier than any woman, and totally ridiculous----sigh.
The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.
- Dolly Parton
Since I have only really come out to myself in the past few months, I am in the discussion stage with my spouse.. First I had to decide if it was really where I wished to go, as I have had a fondness for lingerie for many years. Then I saw my legs in heels and a skirt... oh oh, and now after the first and second full makeover I realize that being feminine at times is an integral part of me....
So will have to let you know if my spouse is going to be on board.
In doing some research I have seen the book My Husband Betty and I have come across an internet site the Crossdressers Secret Garden. These might help in my explanation to my SO.. I hope..
I appreciated all the responses on this site... trying to introduce candor in a long term marriage will certainly take some effort
I have only been out en femme with my wife a couple times. Both times a Halloween party provided the “excuse”, but once when I put her hand under my skirt on the way home and I climbed into bed still wearing lingerie so she could get-in-my-panties, she asked me to remove the "girl things" before we had sex. She usually doesn’t want to see me “dressed”, so it was a significant step when she saw me wearing panties, a slip, and pantyhose in our hotel room on a recent trip. I was “underdressing” when we were in public though, as she then didn’t want me to impersonate a female in public. She has subsequently bought women’s pull-on pants, panties, and pantyhose for me, and said to wear whatever I want at home (which I do – taking off the slacks and top in the evening and changing to a plain dress). Next comes a bra at home, then light makeup and neutral nail polish. Then all-the-way in public. I have heard that Vegas is a constant Halloween party and nobody cares what you wear, so that may be an “excuse” in an environment in which I am not likely to be recognized. I know the annual LV Star Trek con has a costume contest. Are there other excuses too?
Hi Chloe
My wife knows about my lifelong desire to be feminine but she wants no part of it. our children are on their own now and I am in lingerie daily as I can wear a 38A without being noticed. When she travels, it is fullblown i.e. painted nails, makeup, skirts, heels, the works.
JuAnn
My wife is uncomfortable with it. I'm not sure if she finds it disgusting or wrong. I told her about 4 years ago. She said I can do it on my own She is very femine herself, I think that might one of the issues. She constantly says that she's the girl. Although she is slowly warming up to the idea.
Last edited by PanteeQueen; 03-09-2009 at 11:14 AM.
Reading through this thread I can see I'm definitely blessed. She found out pretty early in our relationship (I like 6 months in.... that was 7 years ago..wow). And she's been nothing but supportive and understanding (even when I make it hard for her heh). Really if it weren't for her, I still wouldn't know anything about make-up lol
As for going fulltime, I thought about it a lot in highschool and college. Then I met some actual MtF girls (two of which I consider good friends) and decided its just not for me, them yes but it's not what I want in life.
SO doesn't know but probably would not approve and would think that it is kinky; I would go 24/7 if at all possible.
warmly, Linnea
My wife found out a couple of years ago. She's been very tolerant -- she lets me dress and go out and even went with me once. She only asks that I don't obsess on it, and doesn't let it into our personal relationship. Basically, while she isn't thrilled with the idea -- she says she likes me as a male not a female -- she understands its part of me. Overall very understanding. I am lucky.
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