What do we want? Questions.

[Jan W]

I have been all over the place lately with my TGness.

What am I? Crossdresser or more?

Although I have thought a lot about transitioning most of my life I never did as I did not believe I would be a convincing enough woman.

My thinking has recently changed.

Do I care if I am not totally passable? I am not 5 foot 4 and 110 lbs and never will be.

What do I seek?

I seek to be happy.

I want to present as a woman as best I can. I love the feeling of being feminine. It is the trappings of femininity that attracted me to this lifestyle when I was pre school and I love them just as much today - if not more.

Is dressing and going out occasionally enough or do I take the step and make plans to transition?

I would say time will tell but that is running out.

How do we know?


Jan

PS I have always felt that one would only transition if one felt she had absolutely no choice - now I'm not so sure.

[StaceyJane]

I think a lot of us have had the same thoughts. I know I sure have.

[robyn1114]

That is the million dollar question, if there was an easy answer then most of us would be a much happier person

[Elise.Matei]

To me it would be boring to be 100%. Why not have the best of both worlds?

[Lisa Golightly]

I don't think it really came down to what I thought I could end up looking like... Passing is not where my head is... Oh, I try... I do the voice... I walk the walk... I always have my moments when I slip and there are times when people go... 'Alright mate?' *sigh*

I think what it came down to was I just felt completely dysfunctional... I was fast approaching 40 and I'd wasted all those years thinking in circles... I knew that no relationship would work as I physically was because whatever I was just wasn't working... I was sad... Kind of just going through the motions really... Blah, Blah, Blah You've no doubt heard all this stuff before... read it hundreds of times and I know I've typed it a few times....

What it really boiled down to is what I wanted to be, and what I needed to be... and that was simply Lisa...

How do I know? Truth is I wasn't really sure (hand on heart) even when bits of paper were being wafted about in front of me... I even just stared at the unopened boxes of hormones for a couple of weeks... Was this really what I was? But when I started to pop them after a 'just get on with it' moment and they began to do their thing... Then I knew... They were right... I was right... and my body was on its way to being right... Oh yes, that's when I actually understood what all the excitement about life and love was about...

Shame I wasted my best years going around in circles...

[GypsyKaren]

You'll know it's time when it's your life to you instead of a lifestyle.

Karen

[Lisa Golightly]

lol... Why can Karen sum up in a sentence what I can ramble on for hours about?...

[Joan Merrie]

lol... Why can Karen sum up in a sentence what I can ramble on for hours about?...

Because she is one smart giraffe.

[Lisa Golightly]

Because she is one smart giraffe.

I need her to work PR for me... I'd probably get into less scrapes if she did

[Carole Cross]

Jan, I had the same feelings about not being convincing enough, but now I don't really cxare about it because I can't see any other way of being happy with myself other than transitioning. ultimately it is your decision but I feel I waited to long and would have been much happier if I had transitioned in my twenties rather than now, in my forties. You will kmow when the time comes, it will hit you like a train, at least it did for me.

[kellycan27]

Transition physically? Transition full time to living as a woman? As some have already stated, it's not really a matter of how you present, but how you feel inside. Are you in the position to live full time. Friends? family? SO? etc. If work might present a problem you could always do the drab thingy for that.

[helenr]

I have been startled that after decades of basically fetish crossdressing for mental and physical relief, that the focus has shifted so radically with the influence of anti androgens and estrogens. Probably others are similarly affected. My situation will likely not permit (never say 'never' ) any attempts at trying to pass in public, but I have no interest is wasting (from my perspective) time with time in front of a mirror, in a costly makeover studio, hair salon, dress shop. Bless those who make the effort, but my point that I am being wordy as usual, is that I don't care. The brats are behaving, not messing with my mind, and I am content with where I am in this odd continuum of life. Maybe if there is another life I can come back with an exterior to match the interior. helen

[Kaitlyn Michele]

helen...you said it!!!! never say never...!! ....if you have no choice, you just keep moving forward as best you can to accomplish your goals...

and it sounds like you are getting there, so kudos to you!!

btw,
since HRT, i have had the same experience as you , i used to crossdress at every opportunity....and i got alot of "release" from it....but i dont need that to releive my anxiety anymore and i have only been "dressing" for outings and dinners since a couple months post hrt.......now i'm pretty much a sweats and jeans girl and i've never felt more like "myself". What i wear isnt nearly as important as I thought it would be.

[VeronicaMoonlit]

I think what it came down to was I just felt completely dysfunctional... I was fast approaching 40 and I'd wasted all those years thinking in circles... I knew that no relationship would work as I physically was because whatever I was just wasn't working... I was sad... Kind of just going through the motions really... Blah, Blah, Blah You've no doubt heard all this stuff before... read it hundreds of times and I know I've typed it a few times....

Ditto, but not here. My trans-angsty stuff has been posted elsewhere.

Shame I wasted my best years going around in circles...

Uh huh.