i've struggled alot with the question you pose tess...
i crossdressed my whole life...since i was 7...i get a great sexual charge out of it...
i think priss said she had a revelation...i had the exact same revelation looking at ffs pictures on line...i wish i was her..i wish i could do that...!!!!!!!!!!!!!! uh...hint to myself!!!
..then i started considering my dressing...i was ALWAYS dressed head to toe...i was ALWAYS wanting to go out, I was ALWAYS wanting to meet folks dressed...I NEVER stopped thinking about it... hint number 2...
the thing was that i was getting ALL my sexual kicks out of this so i must be a dresser....then i started to meet real ts/tg/cd/tv folks (aside...the labels all suck...we are all unique and special)...meeting ts women was hint number 3 and finally i started HRT with a great therapist...
within days of start of HRT i felt GREAT!!!! i had this internal sensation that I can only describe as feeling "real"....i teeny man boobs (always had'em)..but now they were my "girls" and i felt pride and an intense satisfying wholeness (i know -words are tuff to describe these feelings..but i bet many of you know eggsactly
what i'm talking about)...now i'm past hints and on to getting hit over the head lessons...
so here i sit...quit my job, on HRT since july...meeting ffs surgeons, ....the thoughts are still constant...there is some sexual feelings about it but it bugs me more than anything
that's why the smartest tg folks i know call it a journey....just remember its your journey and try to be honest with yourself and it should work out for the best