I have never experienced or had a strong desire for humiliation but I have had a strong desire for forced fem. Really if my wife would force fem me I would be in heaven. That is such a strong desire. I was wondering what the difference really is from being forced fem and humiliation? What degree of separation is there between the two activities?
True
Friendship
“A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway”
Fr. Jerome Cummings
Its an interesting topic.
Ive read that the entire thing about the 'forced' in forced fem(inization) is that its the minds way of alleviating all the GUILT that some CDrs have about CDing. If you are 'forced' that you dont have to take reponsibility for your actions (CDing).
Perhaps this is true, perhaps not - its just what Ive read. Im not trying to be judgmental.
Luv and Hugs,
Patti Remick
Finally, Something I know.
When I was a young CD 21 years of age a SO and myself rented a 3br house together. As she still went out to her mothers every couple of weeks I continued to dress and stashed my stuff in the attic.
One day when I came home from work she called me upstairs and all my finery was laid out on the bed. She was always a wee bit DOM and this opened things up.
Her son spent every other weekend away, so...
I was required to be clean shaven, and wore only feminine attire whenever the opportunity was there. I was her maid, cook, slave, and anything else she desired. During the next 2 years I acheived quite a wardrobe. We were also into bondage and light punishment, if the make up was not up to par, corset not tight enough, snagged hose, shoes not polished properly, if she wanted to spank, she would find a reason. I was always under femmed unless at work. As soon as I arrived home I would shower and my clothes would be laid out for me. Wore womens clothes out rarely.
There was no humiliation, the desire for that comes from low self esteem, the desire to perform it comes from arrogance. A little slap and tickle can be a fun thing. It is a loving experience.
We split up when she forced the line of acceptable practices to move.
Don't know if I could give myself up to anyone like that again.
I learned how to do make-up, do my own hair, and be stylish in my clothing choices. So I guess it was worth it.
Just remember that forced FEM can lead to more than you planned on, even if the ground rules are laid out.
Hope this helped some.
I would think that being "forced" to do anything should be just a little bit humiliating.Originally Posted by switcheralso
I was wondering what the difference really is from being forced fem and humiliation? What degree of separation is there between the two activities?
My wife is the dominant one in our relationship and I am submissive but it's not some cartoon porn mag Mistress/slave relationship. Our Femdom relationship originally evolved because my wife has a much stronger sex drive (my sex drive is merely normal although my sexual predilections are not) and it caused a lot of friction between us after the honeymoon wore off and I started being "too tired" and having "headaches." I was the "girl" in the relationship from the start.The solution was for me to make a decision to always and joyfully submit to her needs. Of course, I already had tendencies and fantasies in that direction already. In return, although she's under no obligation, she makes it interesting for me. That includes forced feminization, humiliation, BDSM and etc. In fact, I only infrequently crossdress without her participation. She has a lot of fun with our arrangement because she's naturally dominant, but for me submission is more like a need. Interestingly, my libido has picked up quite a bit. I'm extremely fortunate to have found a soul-mate in her.
I don't feel any guilt about it and I don't have low self-esteem. I experienced guilt and self-loathing before I came to accept myself as a "sissy" submissive. Now I know who and what I am. I try not to psychoanalyze it too much but think of it as a kind of therapy. Through D/s I get to re-live much of my childhood trauma in a controlled, safe environment. The outcome of our play, no matter how harsh it might appear to an outside observer, is always incredibly satisfying to me. It's cathartic. Somehow, it takes the sting away from the past and allows me to accept and forgive. But, I would probably be this way even if I didn't have all that baggage. There's no way to know. I didn't consciously choose this life, but I do choose it now.
My wife, before she became sick, took me shoe shoping and had me try them on in public loved the humilation.
Well said.
I've never experienced "forced fem" but think it would be exciting and allow myself to exhibit my submissivness regarding CD'ing. Maybe someday it will happen ... if i'm lucky. Frances
What? You're a total humiliation junkie!
You said you were into BDSM, punishment, forced fem, and that your SO was the dom. You said she bossed you around, required you to shave, laid out your clothes, and looked for reasons to spank you. You said she was strict about your feminine appearance and were her maid/cook/slave. You also said this was when you were 21, and I get this crazy feeling that she was significantly older than you and there were weird mommy issues involved.
So how can you possibly say there was no humiliation? Humiliation was at the heart of all your activities.
edit:
I didn't mean this to sound negative. It's just that you really can't separate forced feminization from humiliation. When you want someone to force you to do something (even though you're plenty willing), even if your motivation is simply that you want to dress femme but you feel guilty, then you're playing a little humiliation game. You're pretending you don't want to do it, and they're making you do it. A guy who truly doesn't want to wear a dress being forced to wear one is humiliating.
Actually, being forced to do things you don't want to do can be outright traumatizing, but at the very least it's humiliating.
I'm just saying it's a silly game of semantics to pretend it's not humiliation. I'm not saying it's a bad practice to get into. Nothing wrong with anything between consenting adults -- even if one of them is pretending to be non-consenting
Last edited by Raquel June; 10-14-2008 at 07:48 PM.
I have "Exciting"fantasies about it, but judging from my almost automatic strongly negative responses in RL situations concerning family and friends attempting aspects of forced fem on me (trying to put lipstick on me, etc)over the years, I Think that is something that I really DO NOT want to happen.
Interesting on how our fantasies may not always conform to our real desires.
I think that this fact is extremely important in alledged TG/TS situations. I , for example would not REALLY want to become a real Woman, but I find it a GREAT fantasy.----Thats why I warn those who declare such a desire, you cant be really sure you are not dealing with some kind of SM fantasy, or a genuine desire untill you can see your REAL reaction to a RL situation--your own mind CAN AND WILL lie to you at times.
I feel the same way. I love the concept of forced fem and humiliation and all of that, however in reality I don't think I could do it. I have a very strong sense of pride, and I do not have any desire to serve someone like that. Roleplaying it out every now and then I think I would like, but I wouldn't want to make any changes to my lifestyle as such.
Hmmm ... the abuse that I suffered as teen over my crossdressing makes the thought of forced femme and humiliation fill me with revulsion. I just wanted to be, and I was humiliated over it. To this day I can't reconcile why I was abused for just being me. Sorry
Huggles
Toni-Lynn
--I'm TN (transnationalist) - a Canadian born in an American's body! I stand on guard for thee!
My wife and I are into bdsm. She is my mistress. We are NOT 24/7 lifestyle, however, we do play as often as life allows, and belong to a lifestyle group, which we regularly particpate in. All that being said, I am NOT into forced fem; I like to dress, and get off on dressing not being "made" to dress. Although, I like dressing as a "maid" LOL. I do, however, enjoy humiliation, which comes in many forms, none of which have to do with dressing as a female. For example, my mistress may make fun of me in front of the group, sometimes in public, about my attitude, attire (male), or the dreaded penis size issue!!! Now, that may seem harsh, mean, horrible to most folks, but, within our femdom relationship, it is part of our "scene". Forced fem for some guys is the mother of all humilation tactics. Being forced to dress as a female is very humilating for them. I have a very good freind within the group, who is VERY masculine and he sometimes "swithces" or plays the sub role not the dominate role. When they switch, he loves to be forced feminized. It puts him in a very submissive place, which he enjoys. Jaquelyn and Stephanie are very good freinds, however, they are very different girls. Jaquelyn is open and bubbly. Stephanie is very quiet and reserved (because she is being humiated by being brought out) I hope that helps to explain some of the subtle differences and please, if you have any questions about the lifestyle, please feel free to ask.
That's because of who is in control. In a fantasy about being dominated or anything else for that matter, you are in control of what is happening. In real life, you're not. In real life D/s you have to turn over complete control to someone that you trust absolutely. When I can find that "zone" it's a near religious experience.
Maybe you just haven't found the right person to put lipstick on you
"Forced feminization" is an unfortunate term since, at least in my case, there is nothing "forced" about it. I willingly submit to it. Just "feminization" would be a better term. In fact, my desire to crossdress was re-awakened after several years dormancy when my wife got it in her mind to feminize me one day (just lipstick and panties). To be honest, I probably dropped a hint or two previously that I might enjoy something like that.
There was no turning back after that.
I suppose there are just varying degrees of how "forced" it really is in your little game.
For example, the OP is talking about barely-forced feminization where someone is trying to turn you into a girl without going all BDSM with it. That really doesn't have much of a humilation component to it.
Would love it, but my wife does not approve of my dressing. She caught me one morning and almost went balliistic. I wish she could be more free in her thinking.
Good post. The thought of forced dressing from a sexual side is great, but I don't think will happen here although I dress most of the time at home.
But the other day when planning a week away in November my wife said it would be easier if I stayed dressed for the whole week
My heart was pumping like mad. I said `what take no male clothes`, `yep`, was the reply.
Now that is exciting. will keep you posted.
xx
Stevie B
Since I like being in feminine attire, forced feminization doesn't make sense for me personally and certainly it isn't humiliation for me. On the other hand, asked to put on maid's attire, which I would gladly do, but then made to work a whole day as maid would be a humiliation to me because I dislike those tasks.
I wanted to post a follow up to my comments, principally because this topic elicts deep feelings. I do have to begin by stating that I do understand that such play can give a person quite a rush, and I say this because I know that what we as CDers do is very psychological. Hey, I get off on the whole psychological aspect of mixing up the genders. For me, while forced femme is icky because of past hurts, I do enjoy 'persuasive femme'. By that I mean, play that involves stuf like 'You need to wear a bra.' or 'You should only be wearing panties.' Nothing is done forced.
As far as humiliation goes, my main objection is because it links femininty with inferiority, sees it as something that is humiliating. Nothing about being feminine or girly is humiliating in my mind, regardless of what is between your legs!
To me the beauty of the love I share with my wife is based on total equality and a desire to give of one's self to the other.
Huggles
Toni-Lyn
--I'm TN (transnationalist) - a Canadian born in an American's body! I stand on guard for thee!
often crave to become submissives in non threatening situations. Which is why professional women DOMS do so well. Lots of stressed execs, with heavy responsibilties, get relief when they submit to a DOM.
Forced fem MAY be a humiliation fantasy for some. But, they could just as easily have a fantasy of being forced into a cat suit, diapers, or animal mask!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
I remember I had this incredibly complex fantasy when I was 8 or 9 that there was a whole network of people kidnapping young boys and forcing them to wear slips and petticoats because of course so many women secretly wanted to see boys all dressed up. How I prayed they would come for me!
I am in agreement with StevieC. I was not being forced to do anything I did not enjoy doing anyway. When able, I never wear drab.
Sometimes you feel like a nut.....we all sail to our own breezes.
Humiliation doesn't have to come from a feeling of inferiority. It's more a feeling of being exposed, vulnerable or helpless.
For example, most people would be humiliated if they were forced to be naked in public. That sense of humiliation does not imply that people think nudists are inferior.
Very good point Racquel, and I agree.
Although there is definitely a difference between craving humiliation vs. public humiliation. I may like it in private, but if exposed to the world would be a different story.
Also, it is not that I view women as inferior which is why it is humiliating, it is partially because I have such a strong sense of masculinity, that giving that up is humiliating.
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