Coming out "early"

[Raya]

It seems like most of you here dressed in secret for years before you came out to anybody--my question's for everyone else. How many of you came out to your loved ones before you started seriously getting into it?

I'm asking because unlike a lot of you, I didn't really explore these urges until recently. I figure the upside of that is that I never got into the habit of hiding my urges. If I go out there with the right attitude, I can avoid the closet entirely. That's definitely a lot easier than having to crawl out of it!

But there is a downside, too. I have told a few select friends and family members (all women, so far) about my desires. Honestly, they can't wait to dress me up! My problem is that I haven't actually done much dressing. What keeps me from coming out to the rest isn't so much intolerance, but just plain old insecurity. It's like at some level, I don't think I'm "skilled" enough to rightfully call myself a cross-dresser. I know it's silly, but I keep wanting to stay quiet until I get better at it...

Has anyone else ever taken this "backwards" approach? Any advice?

[karinels]

Raya,

I do not think there is any set way to 'come out'. I do not think there is an early, or later. It is when it is. If there are 3 ladies who cant wait to dress you up and make you up, I would suggest doing it. And do it asap. I do wish I would have let my ex take me out before we split. Good luck!!

[crusadergirl]

I told my mom way before i really knew much about cding. And a few others so i couldn't really tell them much of anything about it or why i was doing this. And i went backwards b/c i was out in the public eye acouple times a week dressed up. Then i just stopped altogether. For almost a year. Then i had to start all over b/c i was scared to go out. It was even hard for me to buy clothes again which i had got in over that fear then it was back. Now i still don't go out but i'm back to where i should be.

[Ballerina]

I told my GF before I really had any form of clothing. I had a few minor things when we first started dating, but I've told her before I've started a collection.

[deja true]

For some reason, young women that we're friends with like the idea of dressing us up.

There are scores of bad vids on YouTube showing teen girls dressing up their brothers or boyfriends over the boys' protests (yeah,sure!).

Is it just an older continuation of growing up playing with dolls?

Is it a desire to humiliate us?

Would a girl wanna do that to a love interest rather than just an acquaintance or friend? (prolly not...)

Whatever the reason, I'd go for it. No reason not to start to get your training from someone who knows more than you in a fun and free atmosphere!

Wish it had ever happened to me!

[Teri Jean]

Raya,
I'm fairly new to dressing in earnest but have told a couple of freinds/family and their support has been enormous. If it came down to the part of them wanting to help me dress or makeup I would jump at the offer. Everyone has their limitaions and you need to identify what they are but set goals and work towards them. Good luck and don't look back.

Huggs Keli

[Miss Tessa]

When you come out, make sure you come out long AFTER you feel you need to....


That way you will be more ready because you have to at least show them you're doing something right, like with your makeup and clothes and voice and mannerisms.

[renee k]

Raya,
I'm fairly new to dressing in earnest but have told a couple of freinds/family and their support has been enormous. If it came down to the part of them wanting to help me dress or makeup I would jump at the offer. Everyone has their limitaions and you need to identify what they are but set goals and work towards them. Good luck and don't look back.

Huggs Keli

I agree with Keli, If I had support and encouragement that's been offered to you, I'd go for it. Most of the help that I've had along the way came from GG's. There insight is invaluable. As for insecurties, they'll go away. I remember the first time I went in public and had to interact with people, I was very nervous. But after getting out there a few times, it's second nature now. You'll find lots of support and answers to your questions here too!
So what are you waiting for jump in, the water is nice!!

Huggs, Renee

[Sally24]

I told my wife (at that point she was my girlfriend) about my cding. I hadn't fully dressed then and didn't until about 20 years later! It made it more acceptable to her in some ways to know early on. There were some issues when it started getting more and more involved. When things change from very little partial dressing to full dressing and going out alot it took her a little while to adapt to it.

[Sherry-Stephanie]

HI Raya....

I'm one of those whe spoke to the wife BEFORE I actually started dressing....

I never really had any desire to dress until this past Marxh...and it came to me kind of out of the blue....and the desire/feeling was very intense and it didn't go away so I decided to approach the wife wife since I knew I would need her help and it was something I didn't want to hide from her. Well her initial reaction was "you want to do what"????.... "what the f**K is going on with you???? but after some talking and all and her getting use to having to deal with and have Stephanie around she's cool with it now...even signed on this site....

So it's worked out for me....other who have done the same thing it hasn't worked out...so it all depends I guess on the type of relationship you have with your wofe....but one thing is this I think????....it will definantly tell you what kind of relationship you have with your wife.....

Good luck....

Stephanie....

[Raya]

I guess I've got no excuse...

Thanks, everyone, for sharing. I guess I've been spending so much time worrying about failure because I've forgotten about just how great friends I have. I think I know what I've got to do now: stop dreaming about crossdressing and start doing it!