As I sit here dressed as an average middle aged women I'm very depressed. For years I put my wife through hell because she couldn't deal with my CD. I lost the two best friends I had because they found out about my CD. I wasted countless weekends because I wanted to stay at home and dress like a woman. All I wanted to do was look and feel like a woman. My wife died of cancer eight years ago. My friends told other friends in the church, the lodge, and the coffee shop and I finally moved because I could no longer deal with the leering smirks and the shunning. I now spend my days dressed as a woman, and alone. I wish I had been smart enough to have taken off the rose tinted glasses and been real with the image in the mirror.