Came so close to telling my wife!

[Secret Sis]

I had the perfect opportunity to finally let my wife know about my CDing the other day and I didn't take advantage of it! Here's the story...

Her bathing suit had fallen off a hook she keeps it on and was on the floor. She jokingly asked me if I had been wearing it, (I hadn't been and never have) and maybe I was one of those guys who wear women's underwear under my clothes (I do occasionally). I told her that if I did she'd freak... she said "Hey if it feels good, do it!" I said "Well then, as long as you mention it..." And she got the most surprised look on her face so I stopped. She walked away saying out loud in a kidding way (pretending to be me) "Hmmm... do I tell her or not..."

Sometimes I really think she suspects.....

I'm hoping to get the nerve to finally tell her this Saturday when we have some time together... I'm planning on starting the conversation with "Um.. remember the other day when...." and going from there...

[BeckyAnderson]

I wish you luck and my best wishes are with you. From what you are saying, though, it sounds like she's already aware of your "secret" and may be trying to open a door for you. I so hope that is the case!

[sissystephanie]

Secret Sis,

Please do tell her, but also remind her that you are and always will be the MAN she married. I have no idea how you have been married or how far into CD'ing you are. But don't push her into doing things she is not comfortable with.

She gave you a great opening, and since you hadn't revealed your secret to her before you were married you should have taken that opening! I think your idea of getting into the conversation is a good one, especially based on what she said. Good Luck!!

Stephanie

Lady on the outisde, but man underneath!

[monique01]

Sounds like she was giving you the perfect opening to reveal it. And, sounds like a very fun uplifting attitude on her part. I'd go to her and ask her if her comment of the other day was a serious interest in such things and if she says yes, go ahead and let it out.
Monique

[Nancy (PA)]

It sounds to me that she probably knows, and is waiting for you to open the lines of communication as to just where you are in this situation. Just reassure her that nothing else in your lives is going to change, it's just that you want to explore your desires even more so, and would be forever appreciative if she were able toaccept it, and hopefully participate. What a strong bond that would make in your marraige.

[Charlotte Sometimes]

[SIZE="3"]Hey Sis,
I only recently came out to my wife in this past year. I made comments discussed CD characters on tv and whatever else I could find so I could gauge her reaction to the subject before I became the subject. I took several monthes of this hint dropping before telling her about my CDing. Before you tell her be prepared to answer a lot of questions.
Good Luck![/SIZE]

[Sheila]

Honesty is best, far easier if you tell your wife rather than her "really" discover. Be prepared, she may have lots of Questions ..... she may have very few, whichever it is. good luck, and let her know that there are other wives/partners that are in her shoes and that are willing to talk to her here, our GG section is great.

Good luck hun

[Shelly Preston]

If you decide to tell her please plan it properly

Make sure you have the answers and give her time to digest the news

Read the link in my signature on telling your partner it will help you

[Jess_cd32]

Tell her?,lol, she was telling you she already knows, funny story.

[Fab Karen]

It sounds like she wouldn't be disturbed by it, though surprised. At any rate, I think you should lead off with saying you'd never wear HER clothes, that you respect her things.

[jamie-upstate]

i agree with nancy i think she knows
i would ease into it very carfully though you would not want to ruin a good relationship i have been very lucky as my wife knows i'm not sure how it all started between me and her but panties and stocking and pantiehoes were my favorets and i let her know how much i loved the way they felt and i gusss i brought it up so much and eventually i told her how i loved to stay home from school as a kid and dress in my mother and sisters thing she then gave me panties and tights we now shop together i even went into a dressing room with her and tried on some things that did'nt fit her i'm about the same size as here on top and shoes
she is dead set against me going out dressed though
good luck

[curse within]

Wow Secret, a good story I agree with Shelly make sure you are prepared before telling her I wish you the best of luck. I would refrain from popping out dressed to do it though, if that thought crossed your mind and answer her questions on how far you are wanting to take it. That will come up it always does.

[Jenniferpl]

After a while I think my wife knew what going on. In fact, she made numerous attempts to get me to talk about it but I was off in denial land. I have my doubts if she believed any of my stories.

My guess is that she suspects something and is waiting for you to come clean.

[karynspanties]

She knows. That was her way of giving you an opportunity to come out.

[DAVIDA]

She knows. That was her way of giving you an opportunity to come out.

Yep!

[Sandra]

Don't wait for another opportunity, tell her.

Be prepared for the questions and answer them as honestly as you can, listen to what she has to say, but also ask that she listens to you.

[Jamie M]

Only you know your wife and whether this kind of joking is normal but from what you've said my first thought , like alot of others here, is that she was basically giving you a chance to tell her. I feel for you right now as you must be in a bit of a catch 22. If indeed she was giving you an 'out' time may be of the essence to follow up on it but also time is your greatest enemy as any attempt to rush this kind of revelation may end up being your undoing. Please think carefully before doing anything rash and do read Shelly's post , it's all good stuff and will really help should you decide to follow up on it. I have a nasty feeling though that if you try to ignore this entirely she may end up asking the question outright so prepare yourself with the right answers. Wishing you all the best and please keep in touch

PS , i have just shared this my wife Kelly and she has a word of caution . It is possible that she was joking entirely and that she just accidentally hit the nail on the head as it were and that you are now seeing the signs you want to see rather than it being taken in the homour it was meant , but once again this is something that only you can evalute in terms of your wife's personality. Just something to think about

[Patti Remick]

She walked away saying out loud in a kidding way (pretending to be me) "Hmmm... do I tell her or not..."

Sometimes I really think she suspects.....

I'm hoping to get the nerve to finally tell her this Saturday when we have some time together... I'm planning on starting the conversation with "Um.. remember the other day when...." and going from there...

Does she have a good reason to suspect something?

Your thinking is on the right track though. I would start where she left off. Why dont you just ask her 'What exactly did you mean when you said to me (now use your voice of her impersonating you) "Hmmm... do I tell her or not..." ?' See how she replies to that (and you may need to press a bit if she trys to be evasive) and then go from there. She was definately getting to something. However, you might find that she was talking about something completely different - or then again maybe not. At least you can go into it without assuming she knows something and was giving you a lead. You need to learn more about why she said what she said before you tell her. Im not saying dont tell her but depending on where she is (or is not) in terms of knowing/suspecting the way you tell her may be very different.

Please let us know how it goes.

Good luck
Luv and hugs,
Patti Remick

[Jenny Doolittle]

Honestly I can only speak for myself, but I have told my wife..........after years of fear and anxity. OMG it was like a a giant weight being removed from my shoulders.
I never like the idea of lieing to her. And my fear was unfounded, She is not necisarrily 100% supportive of having Jenny as a partner, and I agree that she needs reasuring that U "ARE" the man she married.

I just am saying our love is strong, being able to talk about anything is wouderful, and I am trying to educate her about transgender issues.

Jenny Do.

[Tasha McIntyre]

I have told my wife..........after years of fear and anxity. OMG it was like a a giant weight being removed from my shoulders.

Similar story here. My wife knew I dabbled, and had an attraction to girly clothing, but never knew the extent until a couple of months ago when I fessed up. She wasn't ecstatic at all, but with the help of a few well chosen websites, it went as well as can be expected. In particular some of the articles here:

http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd/menu.htm

Keep the lines of communication open, and let her your wife have her say setting any ground rules. (I'm strictly forbidden to alert the neighbours).

Good luck. Tash

[catriona36]

sis. your wife sounds like one of my ex gf's. A cool anything goes kinda girl. BUT. just incase as has been said, be prepared. and good luck..
i havnt told anyone yet cos im only new at all this but maybe someday i will lol

[Sally2005]

She might be just joking thinking that the obvious answer is negative... Since you are on the topic you should try to tell her.

[Leohose]

Were you wearing my bathing suit, no but if you want me to I will, you may be suprised with the answer

[catriona36]

mmm Sally makes a good point i hadnt thought of it that way.
either way its up to you Secret. We all have a secret that has to be told now and then so just do it the most gental way you can and have answers ready. and maybe a bottle of wine (for her) huggs

[TerryTerri]

I agree with telling her. In my life, to me, the worst sin I have ever commited was not telling the truth to someone because I was afraid it would hurt her feelings. By not telling her, I ended up hurting her a lot worse. Important lesson, sometimes we may need to say something that may hurt somone's feelings. But, if we do not tell them, we may hurt them much worse. Think about it and decide. It is almost impossible for honesty to not be the correct thing to do.

As for my wife, she found out much much sooner than I would have preffered. We were still in the getting to know each other stage. Early in that stage I might add, when she asked a question and I don't think she quite realized the question she asked. I'm a damned honest person (after having suffered too many consequences from being dishonest), so, I took a deep breath and told her. I kind of laugh about it now. My wife would much prefer that this was not a part of me. But, she accepts it and deals with it in her own way. She does not participate and, although I don't hide it from her (she does the laundry & knows when I've worn female panties) I keep it subdued. We are recently in a new chapter. About 2 years ago I first became aware that my desires far exceeded simple cross dressing and that I might have genuine transgender issues. I don't want to just play that I'm a girl, I think I want to be one too! Anyway, about 2 months ago I became certain that my transgender desires are real, genuine and honest. So, less than a week ago I finally mustered up the courage to share the whole truth of these new developments with her. I explained as best as I can and I've provided her with several URLs to sites with information she can read and learn. My wife and I have issues outside of my female stuff that have almost broken us up anyway. The irony of things is that exploring my transgender issues, even leading up to hormones and such, may grant our marriage a repreve of sorts and more of a chance overall that things may work out between us. Btw, her reactions to me about the transgender news was not inviting, but, she was not critical or rejecting of me and the whole T-Girl stuff. She just doesn't understand and is naturally confused. I told her I'm probably the most confused of anybody about this so I could appreciate her confusion. The whole thing has me rather perplexed.
The messaging applet we use here needs an anti-rambling filter. Sorry for the excess ramble, but thanks for 'listening'.