Dilemma About Meeting Guys

[Chris88]

I'm a 37 year old crossdresser and have been since I was a kid. Besides crossdressing in private, I've never really taken it any further. I have been out in public as a girl once (which went well), but I've never been to any TV bars or clubs etc.

I'm single and although I'm straight and not attracted to guys, I get really excited by the idea of hanging out with a guy (non-TV) who will treat me like a real girl. I'm not interested in sex, just friendship. I've tried posting ads online a few times, and I always get plenty of replies, so I know I could find a guy interested.

Besides crossdressing, I also have some kinky fetishes. My main fantasy is about being tied up by a guy and tickled! This is also something I'd like to try for real.

The thing is I'm very nervous about meeting a guy because I don't know if meeting a guy for real would be something I'd enjoy, or whether I'd just feel really awkward and embarrassed.

Is there anyone else who used to feel this way and decided to meet up with a guy? How did it go, was it the right thing to do or was it a mistake?

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Chris

This sounds like something you need to take in very slow steps

As of now you don't know how you would react to being approached by a man

You need to be aware of how dangerous it could be

Sometimes thoughts don't translate into actions no matter how appealing it might sound
You need to read the Sticky thread on meeting people before you decide to meet someone

[Marjory]

I agree with Shelly, I would suggest going very slowly here or just leave it as a fantasy. I just don't trust straight guys.

[yms]

Aside from the obvious safety issues, which are important, it is a damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don't situation. If you never do, you will always wonder.

If you can do it in a way that feels safe, go ahead. Find out. Then at least you will know. If it is awkward, have your one glass of wine or cup of coffee, make your exit, and you've got it out of your system.

Whether you enjoy it or not will depend in part on you and in part on him.

Yvonne

[Sally24]

I'd leave the bondage play at home, you have to really trust someone to enter that kind of situation. That could easily go past just tickling and transition into sex, no matter what everyones intentions at the start.

[Chris88]

Hi, thanks for the advice.

Yes, I know I'd have to be careful about the safety side - and I wouldn't let a guy tie me up until I'd really got to know him. I was asking more about whether meeting a guy would feel "comfortable" or just feel "wrong" It would be good to hear from someone who's met non-TV guys.

[Tracii G]

I was dressed en femme at a party a few years back and met a very nice gay man.I was never into guys so to speak but we hit it off very well he knew I was a guy. He read me off.
Well we actually dated for a year but I was just to girly for him he wanted an all out gay man not a Bi man.
Do go slow and be very careful.

[sterling12]

Chris is this a joke? You want to flirt with a guy in a bar, but just get treated like a woman and be friends. Then, you want to have him put you in bondage and tickle you....but nothing is going to happen? I paraphrased just a bit and regurgitated it back at you to perhaps make you think about how ludicrous and unlikely your fantasy really is.

If you go into known T-Gurl Bars and flirt with a guy, about nine hundred ninety nine thousand nine hundred and ninety nine times out of one million encounters, your going to get a lot more than you bargained for. Just friends.....indeed! Your a guy, you know what they want!

If you decided to take him home and get put into bondage and tickled; it's all but certainty, you would be beat up and raped! You could easily end up dead. I personally know of at least three other cases where Gurl's did a lot less "teasing" than your little scenario and they died for it!

An awful lot of guys who hang out around the Gurl's have serious gender issues about their own ambiguous feelings. Inotherwords, "they ain't wrapped too tight." You want to "play games" with such people.....that's you being crazy too!

I think you better keep your fantasies right where they currently reside, inside your head. Otherwise, your going to reap nothing but trouble.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[stellatoo]

Hi Chris,

Why not make friends with another CD and swap nights when you're the guy...then she is?

It'll probably be a lot less riskier than picking some random man.

Good luck.


Stella

[Deborah Jane]

Hi Chris
I think you,re playing with fire on this one, if a guy agreed to what you wanted you can be pretty sure he,d have his own agenda once he,d got you tied up. Unless you get to know the guy really well and learn to trust him completely, i wouldn,t even risk it if i were you.
Sometimes fantasies are just best left as that....Fantasies!!

[Jess_cd32]

Hi Chris
I think you,re playing with fire on this one, if a guy agreed to what you wanted you can be pretty sure he,d have his own agenda once he,d got you tied up. Unless you get to know the guy really well and learn to trust him completely, i wouldn,t even risk it if i were you.
Sometimes fantasies are just best left as that....Fantasies!!

I agree w/ Debs and the others 100%, think your kidding yourself as well it wouldn't go further. Getting tied up you better really know your partner or as said it could turn ugly really quick. Enjoy yourself but stay safe in the process.

[Jess_cd32]

...................Of course you're not going to go to a stranger's home or invite one to your home on a first date. We all know that, we've all read the articles in Cosmopolitan... haven't we?

Of course you're not going to say to a perfect stranger, after ten minutes' acquaintance: "Hey, tell you what, you tie me up and tickle me!".......

Well I did meet a pretty GG once and after a few hours we we're at my place and she was asking if I had any rope, so on rare occations I guess it could happen The next day she helped me paint my house, cool girl and I liked her alot

[Shelly Preston]

Omigod, what a lot of scaredycats there are on the site this weekend!

We are just careful not scared

it will be a pretty-well sure-fire way of not getting read, because people don't stare at other men's dates.

Good luck.

I would not bet on that happening for a moment

Its amazing how may will stare if your with a pretty girl

[Angie G]

As far as feeling Comfortable or wrong is in how you see it not others. What wrong for me may be right for you. What ever you do be careful.
Angie

[LaurenInDC]

As far as feeling Comfortable or wrong is in how you see it not others. What wrong for me may be right for you. What ever you do be careful.
Angie

Agreed. Just be safe, above all else. No fantasy is worth your safety.

Lauren

[Janie Gunn]

I've been thinking lately of how I may sometime try tranny dating just for the fun of it, meeting up with another tranny in that way. Dating a straight guy for the purpose of being treated romantically like a lady, isnt something that I personally care to do, but if it feels like something that you need to try to satisfy your curiosity, then just be careful how you go about it. Youre the only one who really knows if its right for you.

Janie

[annekathleen]

If a "straight" guy was interested in a cross dresser,
......is he really "straight"?

If a "straight" crossdresser is interested in another guy,
.....is the crossdresser really "straight"?

[Nicki B]

I'd leave the bondage play at home, you have to really trust someone to enter that kind of situation. That could easily go past just tickling and transition into sex, no matter what everyones intentions at the start.

Or, as Joanie says, a lot, lot worse, once you lose any control?

If you're serious about wanting to do this, look for a local BDSM group, where fantasies can be indulged safely, with others around and controls in place?

If a "straight" guy was interested in a cross dresser,
......is he really "straight"?

If a "straight" crossdresser is interested in another guy,
.....is the crossdresser really "straight"?

What does 'straight' mean, once you start talking about acting as the opposite sex? Surely it becomes meaningless..

[JenniferR771]

I have similar fantasies. And I think Stelato is right. Find a CD friend and take turns taking each other out as man and woman. I went out to dinner with a cd in drab mode, who could not dress for some reason at the cd get together. Go slow--it will take time to find the right person and get to know him well. Imagine a handsome man taking you to the symphony (and you are dressed super special), and then out for drinks and dinner later. Oh LA La!

[DemonicDaughter]

And it will be a pretty-well sure-fire way of not getting read, because people don't stare at other men's dates.

Good luck.

[SIZE="3"]Oh yes they do! LOL! No one adverts their eyes from a woman just because there's a man at her table. Hell, some guys just wait for the man to go to the bathroom before walking over to the woman and flirting with her. Hell some don't even wait for that![/SIZE]

If you're serious about wanting to do this, look for a local BDSM group, where fantasies can be indulged safely, with others around and controls in place?

[SIZE="3"]My thoughts exactly. [/SIZE]

[MsJanessa]

Darling, if you let a guy tie you up, and youre all dressed and made up, he will have sex with you whether you want to or not----advice---don't go there unless you do want sex with the guy because that is what will happen

[deja true]

... And it will be a pretty-well sure-fire way of not getting read, because people don't stare at other men's dates.

Good luck.

You're kidding, right?

Most guys would date a great looking woman specifically because other guys will check her out!

It's called scoring points with the homeboys...

Doesn't make any diff whether they actually score or not. 'Cos as a recent survey of dating singles found out, men usualy lie about their number of conquests in order to look like studs, while women usually downplay the number of relationships they've had in order not to look like skanks.

[windycissy]

Been there, done that, loved it! Not sure about the tie-me-down-and-tickle-me fetish, but then who are we to talk about fetishes?

As for how to meet guys, tried Craigslist and there are a lot of losers, you might try OKCupid...just be real clear about what you are and what you're looking for, and if you do decide to hook up with someone, make sure it's at a safe place!

[raleighbelle]

I agree with what most everyone has said, but no one has really answered your central quiestion. As I understand it, you are mostly asking if your fantasy could possibly play out as you imagine it, or if when you actually go for it, you will feel awkward and not want to go through with it. At least that is how I understand your question.

Unfortunately, as I have never done any of that, I cannot really give an accurate answer.

However, I have certainly had somewhat similar fantasies, and have really wondered the same questions. I suspect that in reality if I got together with a guy for a date (with me as a woman) that if he tried to kiss me and stuck his tongue in my mouth, I would be very turned off, and a whole lot worse if he actually wanted to have sex with me. And what's in it for him if he is only going to 'treat me as a lady'?

I think this will differ immensely from one person to another, so I certainly cannot speak for you. The only way you can really answer it is to try it out, which could be incredible, but could be very dangerous as well, so I agree with the others that it should be with someone you know and trust, or in some type of environmnet where there is an escape if you need it.

Sometimes fantasy and reality are two extremely different things. It is nice though that we can at least fantasize safely.

Good Luck!

[valenstein]

What does 'straight' mean, once you start talking about acting as the opposite sex? Surely it becomes meaningless..

I second that. Too many gray areas. If you are both dressed up women and are both female in mind at the time, lesbian sex is still homosexual when applied. There are plenty of instances where straight/gay really have no meaning.