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Thread: Advice on how to tell my parents

  1. #1
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    Advice on how to tell my parents

    hi everyone, i haven´t posted much on here, i ust usually read posts to get tips for myown crossdressing.
    i am a 20 yr old convincing cd, and have been cd´ing since i can remember.
    Now, my parents have found my femme clothes around half a dozen times, they are NOT very understanding or open minded. they hae even threatened to disown me, if i carry on. I bought some male thongs a couple of years ago and my mother is accepting of that, so i wear them as often as possible. Now back to my question, how do i get my parents to be understanding and accepting as i wish to come out of the closet because i feel a lot more comfortable dressed enfemme. WHAT SHOULD I DO????

  2. #2
    Gold Member MJ's Avatar
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    sorry to say but you must get a good stable job move out live your own life do your own thing.. you will have better luck training a cat than to change your parents mind ...
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #3
    Member DinaMature's Avatar
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    Dunno that you can "get" them to see it your way. Perhaps as you and your parents continue to mature, they will accept that this is how it is and soften their attitude... perhaps they'll reach that determination and absolutely put up the wall.
    To threaten to disown you demonstrates their coming from a pretty conservative place. They'd have a long way to travel to reach a middle ground with you.

    Good luck with your hope... don't let it become an expectation. They may come around, they may not.

    Keep your apparel out of their sight, don't rub their face in it. Demonstrate that whatever they think, you're still a quality functional individual.
    Earn their respect in other aspects of life and perhaps it will gain you some "political capital" or goodwill. Perhaps then they will reassess and realize that you're a real person beyond the cd that they frankly don't comprehend.
    The older I get, the more real I feel. And what I feel is not all that I am. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Please visit me on Facebook - Dina Walker http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003166749185

  4. #4
    Senior Member Intertwined's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MJ View Post
    you will have better luck training a cat than to change your parents mind ...
    sorry to say, I agree with MJ. On the other hand, as ive said to Batty, Knowledge is power, if they knew more about what WE are, they MAY change there minds, but, I also believe, all people are entitled to they're opinions, no matter how right or wrong they may be.
    "I am Yin & Yang, North & South, Night & Day, Feminine & Masculine" [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/64235483@N02/

  5. #5
    Girlygirl Tomboy Wannabee Toni_Lynn's Avatar
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    Hey hun

    I agree with MJ's take on things. Believe me, I can say been there and got the t-shirt (or would it be sports bra!) to prove it.

    I was trapped at home until I was 27. Don't let that happen to you.

    You are young and this is your time to enjoy life and enjoy your CDing. I can tell you this, that when I moved out I suddenly truly discovered how much fun being a crossdresser is and I kicked myself for not moving out sooner.

    In concert with what Katie B said, once you are on your own, the balance of power does shift. You now have your life and your space. I had that problem with my mum because she became enmeshed into my life so much that I couldn't escape.

    Just one word of caution. Be prepared for the harsh reality of life on your own. Unless you have a good job or going to school and have some sort of job, times will get tough. Have fun, but be safe!

    Huggles

    Toni-Lynn
    --I'm TN (transnationalist) - a Canadian born in an American's body! I stand on guard for thee!

  6. #6
    They call me quiet girl.. Sarah...'s Avatar
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    You've got to live your life as you see fit. Be your own success. Your parents will either come along for the ride or they won't. That doesn't mean you can be insensitive about it, and I'm not suggesting you would be 'cos I don't know you, it just means, as others have said, if they are going to stay in your life it's got to be a two way street.

    You are welcome to PM me and discuss details (it's only a month or to since I told mine) but I suspect my parents were coming from a different starting point.

    Sarah...

  7. #7
    Crossdressing comes onto the same bracket as telling your parents your gay, sadly it’s hard one to let out the bag.

    You could do the very blunt approach, get all dolled up and walk down stars dressed like that with the words "mum, dad I'm a crossdresser, what to you reckon???", though if you parents are not very understanding then proly not a good idea lol

    Seriously though I would go with what the others have said, move out and get you own place, anyway why would you want to tell you parents your deepest aspects of your personal life, I mean I'm very close to my mum and dad and I love them to bits, but if they found out I dressed like a real girly they wouldn’t take to kindly to it, but that’s only because they are a different generation to mine, so I keep the peace by not letting on, anyway I don’t want to tell them as it’s my life no more than they would want to tell me there deepest darkest secretes, the only one that knows about my girly tendencies is my GF.

    If ever I have kids I hope to be a very liberal parent, I have nothing against gays etc etc and if my son was to come down the stars in a dress then I would be supportive, because at the end of the day you are who you are.
    Last edited by CrossJess; 12-12-2008 at 05:39 PM.

  8. #8
    Feelings with no outlet.. Ballerina's Avatar
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    I agree with everyone else. You need to keep it hidden from your parents until you can have stability if the worse should happen (a plan B). I'm 23 and have had the urge to tell my parents since I live at home, too, but I would rather not for mostly for the same reasons Jess has posted. My parents don't need to know EVERY detail in my life.
    I'm not out to fool the world, just my inner girl
    Real men wear pink <3

    G.K. Chesterton
    “Fairy Tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.”

  9. #9
    Silver Member DanaR's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MJ View Post
    sorry to say but you must get a good stable job move out live your own life do your own thing.. you will have better luck training a cat than to change your parents mind ...
    I agree! There is a good chance that your parents will not change, so be prepared; or don't even go there with them. Sometimes people just can not accept this part of us.
    Dana Ryan

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