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Thread: One of the prices you pay for crossdressing

  1. #76
    Queen of the Faery Realms Bethany_Anne_Fae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    Crossdressing is NOT an imperfection, nor is it anything to be ashamed of.
    I bought into this for many years until I became healthy enough to know that I deserved better. I know now that I deserve to be loved simply for who I am.
    I sincerely hope your separation process will continue to be amicable. In my experience, this is very rare.
    Reine, I really liked what you wrote here.

    Since I havent figured out yet how to add other comments, I can't add the ones I liked from KittypawGG as well. Some very valid poitns all around.

    Its sad to see a relationship come apart after so long. Reading everything it seems like it has had a slow burning at the edges feel for most of it until the last flame ignited the rest.

    I hope the two of you can remain friends and somewhat happy in the days ahead.

    *hugs of support for you both*

    Zarabeth
    (Formerly known everywhere as Lady Zarabeth

  2. #77
    Big Sister Nicki B's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kittypw GG View Post
    Satrana,
    Go right ahead and balme everything under the sun. Is it getting you anywhere with gg's? Is it stopping divorce?

    The bottom line is that we all have to answer to our own behavior. If you behave in a way that is unplesant (lie, sneek around, act obsessively, spend money selfishly out of the family budget, take yourself out of activities with the family to crossdress, blame "your" partner for "your" short commings, wallow in self pity, indulge in fantasy/pronography instead of spending time with real people or "your" family, continually push established boundries, stop intimacy/sexual relations, replace the man in "your" partners life completly with a faux female, especially outside of "your" partners comfort zone, etc) you are going to have a roller coaster life and it should not be a surprise when the important people in "your" life distance themselves from "you" and the important relationships in "your" life fail.

    Kitty
    Kitty, I DO understand your rage - but aren't you really talking about your old relationship, here?
    Nicki

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  3. #78
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nicki B View Post
    Kitty, I DO understand your rage - but aren't you really talking about your old relationship, here?
    Lordy, yes!

    kitty's accusations all grow out of the horrifc drama that we know her story to have been...

    But reading the scores of other folks' stories here, especially including those from the more tolerant and accepting wives and SO's, gives balance to her apparent point of view that all cd's are moral degenerates...

    And many of her opinions regarding the likes and dislikes and capabilities of women to understand our behaviour are just wrong!

    We sympathize with kitty's plight, and she does make some good points, but they definitely do not apply to all of us or our lovers!

    (fingers in ears now...singing "la-la-la" real loud...)

  4. #79
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    Why is most everyone so down on Kitty?? I would think she, just as many of the other GG's in this forum could help Lisa even if it may, to some of you come across mean!!!

    Most of the down talk from some of you Crossdressers!! Are from personal opinions, Kitty has lived in Lisa's spouses shoes ..She has been there!! She has lived through a progressive only wearing panties to a full blown 24/7 want to be a full female husband..One who has broke many trust and boundry lines!!

    Kitty answered Lisa's thread by telling her to straighten up and yes from her own experiance.. Lisa posted "The down side of crossdressing" What part of that are some you not getting? Lisa's wife does not accept her dressing and has stumbled upon things in the attic that should have never been there.. Now facing a possiable divorce..Kittys advise was to make sure to kiss some butt!!

    Very few GG's accept what we do VERY FEW!! Kitty was one of those very few but within reasonable limits she accepted her spouse ..Just as I am sure Lisa's wife is accepting her..So what some of you may see as a putting HER past to a mute point...Others who have been there see someone showing some " HEY STRAIGHTEN UP BECAUSE THE AXE IS FALLING"!!

  5. #80
    Member Tess's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=deja true;1529788]We sympathize with kitty's plight, and she does make some good points, but they definitely do not apply to all of us or our lovers!
    QUOTE]

    Maybe not all, but perhaps a lot more than some of us like to admit.

  6. #81
    The Unlucky
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    Quote Originally Posted by deja true View Post
    Lordy, yes!

    kitty's accusations all grow out of the horrifc drama that we know her story to have been...
    ....... her apparent point of view that all cd's are moral degenerates...
    I really feel sorry about what she has been through, I really do.

    But her posts get me so incredibly angry that I cannot see straight. I admit that a few of her posts have almost made me reply with some *ahem* colorful words but I realize that would not be the best choice. Just reading her posts in this thread have filled my with a rage that I have only experienced elsewhere in combat.

    But, I realize that she doesn't deserve me rage so I hold my tongue. Her hypocritical statements are mostly what angers me so much.

  7. #82
    Big Sister Nicki B's Avatar
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    The trouble is, it's hard to see other people's stories without the lens of our own experience colouring things - for any of us?

    That's very often a problem on internet boards - people read what they expect to, not always what is written (or even meant)? Those can be three totally separate 'truths'..
    Nicki

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  8. #83
    Lisa_vin lisa_vin's Avatar
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    Hi again everybody! This thread seems to have taken on a life of its own and it has certainly touched and resonated with many and in many different ways! I truly WANTED to hear all your responses.......your stories, advice, criticism, success and heartbreak that comes from what most people see as anything from the lowest sexually deviant degenerate to an interesting person with "enhanced and pleasantly varied" personality traits. Granted, a vast majority veer toward the former rather than the latter and that is completely understandable for such a misunderstood and often misrepresented and misreported "condition". It wasn't until pretty recently that the heterosexual mtf CD began to be seen as usually a good person of good morals and behavior with a more developed and enhanced capability for understanding, compassion, warmth and care much more in tune with female traits that non-cd males! I've seen two therapists over the years, both of them GG's, who fought long and hard to convince me that is what I was. Both of them actually deemed me to be "normal" but with the ADVANTAGE......as they actually called it.......of enhanced and varied interests over non-cd'ing males. I know that's what they are trained to do......to help people out of bad places and rebuilding image and ego are two of the most important functions they perform towards healing and they succeeeded in doing that with me!

    In short, thay convinced me to stop feeling bad about myself, to stop being ashamed and feeling humiliation for what I was doing and to ACCEPT myself for who I was and that the "total" me includes the Lisa part of me. To suppress or deny my Lisa side would only serve to depress and break down one person all the way to the bitter end.....ME! They knew that I hid this from my wife and both prepared and advised me of the potential consequences of her finding out......especially after keeping it a secret from her for years and even before our marriage. They said the chances of even minimal acceptance were very low and to truly expect the worst but hope for the best if that ever happened. (The second therapist was the one my wife and I saw TOGETHER for an extended period over this past spring and summer. She's the one I mentioned previously that provided only a temporary band-aid for a gaping wound but, to my wife's credit, she had tried to deal with it with her help but only fell back into the "push it out of mind, forget about it and maybe it will go away" state. That last "discovery" only served as the final cold slap of reality that it is just not going to happen with me.

    I only get to fully dress on the very rare occasion that I have free time to myself. I don't make or set aside time for this nor do I force changes of plans or "special times" or trips for myself that take away time from my wife or daughter. I only take advantage of it when it occurs and only at home behind closed doors. I don't ask for nor do I want or expect my wife's participation in this at all. I don't want to "go out" or "see if I can pass" nor do I want to BE a woman. I don't want real breasts or any alterations of any kind......only the "illusion" of being able to look and feel like a woman sometimes.......I like the good, warm, calm, nice, peaceful and content feeling I have when dressed......heck, there's not even any sedative or alcohol necessary to achieve this state and none needed or ever taken! I'm actually pretty happy, generally, with being a man that only wants to feel what I can only assume is "like a woman" when I can. I can happily achieve the majority of this state by just underdressing and no one needs to be the wiser. ALL I EVER wanted from my wife was just her TRYING to understand and get education on this and having the blessing of her tolerance of this side of me. I'm a happy homebody.....I don't smoke, drink, do drugs, golf, bowl, bar or club-hop, hang with the guys (or ever even care to) or anyone else for that matter, don't abuse, talk or treat anyone badly EVER and never have. I've never had an affair or attempted one......never even had sex with anyone else other than my wife........she's my one and only for all 54 years of my life! My ONLY vice besides my betrayal of my wife's trust and lying to her of my cd'ing IS my cd'ing itself. I'm no saint but I'm also no sexual deviant or a bad guy either.....this is who I am and I am truly sorry to have hurt anyone, especially my wife, by trying to keep this a secret from her!

    Kitty, I didn't know your story before but spent time this afternoon reading your threads and posts about what happened and what you've had to endure and go through and there are only 3 words in the entire English language that I can express for how I feel......I'm TRULY sorry! I read each thread you started and watched your story unfold right there in front of me and really, truly felt your pain, anguish and horror as each chapter unfolded! God, I wouldn't wish this experience on the worst person on earth but I know it's happened before and it will happen again. I read how you truly TRIED, with everything you had, to make it work and keep it together and it ultimately ended anyway. But, from what I could surmise, your ex was fading and long gone before your tried extraordinary methods to save the marriage. It sounds like cd'ing was only a symptom of a much deeper disturbance and detachment in him rather than a single cause or reason for his behavior. You did the best you could to try and save what was already a lost cause long before much of the real ugliness even started. Sometimes, you can only do what you can physically and mentally do and hope for the best but prepare for the worst. It sounds like you survived all this and are starting to move on pretty dang good. Please don't let posts or threads like this take you back to that deep, dark and painful place you evolved from. There's billions of people in this world and thousand to millions of relationships beginning and ending as I speak. Since no two people in this world are alike and as long as that remains a fact there will never be any element of perfection in humanity nor will the perfect relationship ever exist. Every single one of us has a closet with a skeleton or two in it that we don't want ANYONE to ever see or find out about so we all keep that key to it so close to our chest!
    Last edited by lisa_vin; 12-16-2008 at 08:46 AM.
    Lisa

  9. #84
    Girl, Interrupted Jennifer Cox's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cassia-Marie View Post
    So much in this thread hits so close to home for me...

    There's a lot of research I've studied recently about gender dysphoria and the affect it can have on an individual and their relationships. Most people (like myself) who haven't come to grips with it until their middle-age years experience Depression and/or Generalized Anxiety Disorder. They have panic attacks, irritability, sleeping disorder, inability to concentrate, impulsiveness, weight loss, and their job performance suffers. OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) is also prevalent and is probably a result of needing an outlet for their gender expression deprivation anxiety. Suicidal thoughts or other such strong impulses ultimately loom and cloud out any and all rational thought.

    All of this hits at a time when family and career are as firmly rooted as they are ever going to be. Thoughts of starting over as a member of the opposite sex become seemingly impossible. The responsibilities we've accumulated make us feel entrapped and enslaved to an ideal we've come to despise.
    I tick quite a lot of those boxes, so I know what you're going through. May help explain some of the other issues I've got too!

    For me, it's recently got so bad that I've had to explain it to my wife - wrote her a letter - although I don't think she yet fully appreciates the implications. Although she's known about my desire to CD for 30+ years, she's very much of the "turn a blind eye" approach, and I for my part have hidden it as much as possible to spare her feelings.

    All I can suggest is that if you feel that bad, you should really tell her.

  10. #85
    Banned Read only Satrana's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lisa_vin View Post
    Both of them actually deemed me to be "normal" but with the ADVANTAGE......as they actually called it.......of enhanced and varied interests over non-cd'ing males. I know that's what they are trained to do......to help people out of bad places and rebuilding image and ego are two of the most important functions they perform towards healing and they succeeded in doing that with me!
    I think that is a bit unfair. Therapists would never say such a thing if they thought the behavior was in any way immoral or destructive. I believe they were being genuine in their advice that you are indeed normal.

    The issue truly is the prejudice that prevents men from expressing any form of femininity. This is nonsensical considering what has happened in recent decades with GGs venturing into masculine roles and behaviors. The therapists were just telling you something which you refused to admit to yourself because people who are subjected to intolerance internalize their shame and feel guilty when others' prejudices are subsequently exposed resulting in anger and confusion aimed towards you.

    Even in the most obvious of cases such as spousal abuse, battered women turn up at shelters invariably feeling that they are to blame for what has happened to them. It takes a lot of counciling to convince them otherwise and to stop them making excuses for their spouse's behavior.

  11. #86
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    Kittypw well expresses the real, raw view of nearly all women That is why I am basically in the process of rejecting close friendships with all women now. It just does not work.
    As for lying about your real nature and background, because women are judged by what they are and men by what they do, it is in my experience, a GG flaw much more than a male flaw to lie. The lies and lying omissions run from , not telling everything in their background, from little things like use of false teeth, though religion or ethnicity, on to major problem areas in their background. I have learned this the hard way by personal experience. So concealing or lying about one's personal details, even important ones, is something that there is much more incentive for women to do, in reality, and life being what it is, they do. And this does not even get into the specific sexual problems gg's may simply not mention, until they become issues in the bedroom. The sex advice programs on the television are full of examples of those.
    So lack of strict honesty is simply a part of the human condition especially as it relates to friendship and courtship. That is why short premarital relationships and engagements, (shorter than five plus years), always used to be advised against in grandmother's time. Today's generation of course think they known better.

  12. #87
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beth-Lock View Post
    Kittypw well expresses the real, raw view of nearly all women That is why I am basically in the process of rejecting close friendships with all women now. It just does not work.
    I respectfully disagree. She DOES NOT express the view of "nearly all women". Not half, not most, not even some. She expresses the view of women who have been wrongfully hurt by people of the TG community and her view (in my opinion) of us is now tarnished. We're all liars that "secretly want to be women".

    It's sad.

  13. #88
    Tempus Fugit PetiteTonya's Avatar
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    I'm relatively new here....but I feel I must comment

    Quote Originally Posted by kittypw GG View Post
    you know what? Secrecy and deception doesn't help Lisa and his wife either. Any marriage that is based on lies and deception is doomed to fail. Lisa should be happy that it lasted so long. But I will say again, who gives back Lisa's wife all the time she invested in the future she thought she was getting? I'll bet you she did not fantasize about two old women rocking on the porch together. I'll bet you, Lisa lead her to belive that she would have a very different future after the kids were grown!

    I don't give a crap what it was like in the 70"s. Hey I graduated in 1977. People were just as honest with eachother maybe more than now. That is a damn cop out.

    When you cd's don't trust enough to tell the truth about yourselves and you find out that you loose trust in the very people you say you love.... well all I have to say is DUH.........................................

    Lisa should get down on his knees and beg his wife for forgiveness and offer some solutions to work it out. If you are fresh out of ideas, well I guess that it really is not worth either partners time.

    Just my opionion. Lots of relationships should end way before they actual do anyway. If more people had the guts to just be honest (and I mean on both sides of the fence) Maybe there would be more happy people on this planet.

    Kitty
    Gee, it must be nice to be able to claim the high exclusively for yourself. I won't speak for anyone else here, but I wish I was so perfect as to be able to be so pious and self righteous. It must be wonderful to sleep so soundly at night, knowing you've never lied to your SO about anything or done anything that was hurtful.

    These two people have been married for 30 years. As I read Lisa's remarks, it's clear to me that there were other issues that also contributed to this rather sad and unfortunate situation. Lisa even tried for a time to bury herself and be the "real man" her SO supposedly married. I have issues with those two words, "real man" but that's for another thread.

    Personally, inflammatory remarks such as this above only serve to underscore the need for a forum like this for people like us. Repressed anger, vitriolic rhetoric as evidenced up here only fan the flames of intolerence and do nothing to add value to anyone.

    Putting things in perspective, it seems to me that if, after sharing her secret with her SO, they both sought solutions through therapy and when that didn't help, Lisa did what she could. She kept her life up in an attic in order to not upset her SO. She did what a person in love does...she hid it away. We're calling this lying? What about wifes, husbands who have affairs and never divulge it just to name one example.

    I've spent the last 6 months reading as much as I can about what has happened to me and what effect it has on SO's. I have alot more to learn but we pride ourselves here in Western Society to be tolerant and accepting, yet Homophobics, racists and hate mongers are all around us.

    Remarks like these, only serve to entrench the status quo.

    A very wise person who has been a CD for over 30 years met with me two weeks ago. This person gave me what I consider to be the best piece of advice I have yet to recieve. To quote "Do not engage in self pity. Celebrate who you are and try your best to integrate"

    I wish you and your SO nothing but the best Lisa...and I hope your medical issues improve.

    PS. I would continue to stand as tall as you can. I see no need for you to get down on your knees at all dear

  14. #89
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    I still don't get it.....I'm sorry folks try to have an open mind and not take things so personal..Situation... Lisa's wife does not approve of Lisa desires to dress right? We all agree to that?

    I lived through over 20 years of an un accepting wife ,for my desires even as small as they were! I kept my stuff ( like Lisa did ) hidden, I used them in my private time alone and not often.. I loved my wife dearly and would never do purposely anything to hurt her except dressing.. Why because as hard as I tried and as much as I fought it off, dressing would win.. Even though she didn't see me doing it and never found my stash, she knew!!

    So I have found myself trying to keep a balance of my wifes happiness and me indulging in stupid clothing.. My point stupid clothing!! That is how Lisa's wife see's it, don't get me wrong I totally relate to Lisa .. It must have been pure hell going through the constant mind battles she has been going through keeping the balance of her desires and keeping the wifey happy.

    Lisa come clean with the wife!!! Lay it out on the table , tell her this is you , tell her you love her but this is something that doesn't go away and for her to remain with you she has to understand crossdressing..Marraiges can co exist with crossdressing but it takes two. If she can not accept it why go on being unhappy? You know it will never go away but you can control it, tell her you don't do it to hurt, lie or decieve her. Tell her you don't want to see her unhappy with you over something she doesn't understand!!

    Keep in mind Lisa this is something you can not force her to accept, this is something she has to take upon herself to explore.. Just remember she has feelings to she hasn't been forced to live with these nagging desires her whole life ,try to compare it to something she enjoys something that no matter how hard she tries to stay away from she returns to it..Like eating for most of us but I am sure something is there for you to use..Something she could get an ideal that wow that is pretty nagging I can understand ..

  15. #90
    Aspiring Member Melanie R's Avatar
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    Lisa,

    How long have you been in the Houston area? As one of the original founders of the Houston TG community I know we have some great resources here for our community including the local Tri-Ess chapter and the TG Center. There are several therapists in Houston such as Denise O'Doherty who have had many years of experience working with many transgendered persons and their SO's. Lets talk soon.

    Hugs,

    Melanie
    I love being "gender gifted"! www.pmpub.com

  16. #91
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    Quote Originally Posted by KellyCD View Post
    I respectfully disagree. She DOES NOT express the view of "nearly all women". Not half, not most, not even some. She expresses the view of women who have been wrongfully hurt by people of the TG community and her view (in my opinion) of us is now tarnished. We're all liars that "secretly want to be women".

    It's sad.
    I guess that sort of applies to my position too, having been hurt recently by the lies of women.

  17. #92
    Senior Member emmicd's Avatar
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    I know it is very important to be honest in a relationship with someone you love and care for. It also is sometimes hard being honest all of the time when it comes to some things such as crossdressing. It is something that is very hard to talk about especially if you are afraid of the potential consequences. To me crossdressing is very painful as much as it is fun. It is a very isolating activity and provides no real benefit other than to make you feel more at ease with yourself which in my mind is a benefit but to others who don't understand it seems foreign and threatening.

    I believe you need to give you wife space and try to work through it. If she really cares for you and knows your love for her she may come around. It's hard to know sometimes and women just don't seem to understand how painful it is to be a crossdresser. I find it a very lonely and sad existence sometimes but I still need to crossdress because I feel happier in dresses.

    I hope you and your wife can work through it and I wish you both the best!

    Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

    Good Luck to you both also!

    emmi

  18. #93
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beth-Lock View Post
    I guess that sort of applies to my position too, having been hurt recently by the lies of women.
    I have too, SOOO many times. It's hard not to paint every woman with the same brush(is that the phrase?) but I realize that not EVERY woman out there is a liar.(but apparently I'm "lucky" enough to meet alot of them)

    Just this year having to deal with my wife cheating on me (a total of 7 times) of which her excuse/reason was "you weren't supposed to find out" and all her friends "justified" her by saying "If she's coming home to you, what's the problem?" WTF?

    Grrrr I don't even want to talk about that stuff anymore.....

  19. #94
    Banned Read only Elizabeth2-'s Avatar
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    It's really me

    I am weeping with you now. I weep because whether in drab or drag, I see me in the mirror. Anyone that does not understand that does not understand crossdressing. You, like many of us, finally decided to be truthful to ourselves and our SO's. And, often that release brings pain.

    Stopping the acknowlegment of our real selves is about as realistic as amputating our legs and then being expected to be a professional runner.

    We should love because we choose to love unconditionally. That goes for SO's, too.

    You do not need to be "fixed". Your genetic code and brain hormonal levels are you.

    It is those with ignorance, hate and bigotry that need to be "fixed" including your wife that you have loved and served faithfully for thirty years!

    My love and prayers are with you.

    Liz

  20. #95
    Lisa_vin lisa_vin's Avatar
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    Hi everyone!

    Thank each and every single one of you reading this and for your thoughtful and heartfelt responses. Your support and advice is so very welcome and so is the criticism and any negative feelings. One thing about opinions.......everybody has one and by expressing them, that allows your human individuality to shine through. This is a subject that touches each of us in one way or another whether you are TG or GG!!!!!!

    I don't know where my road leads from here.....things have actually been rather pleasant and friendly between us the last few days and one can only hope it stays that way. I guess Christmas approaching may have something to do with that too and that's just fine with me. The more tranquility and peace, the less stress, anxiety and unhappiness. I figure that once New Year's Day passes, focus will probably get re-trained and what to do and where to go for the future but, for now, I'm enjoying the relative calm and friendliness.

    If I don't get to talk to y'all again until after the holidays,I wish everybody a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!!

    Lisa

  21. #96
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    Quote Originally Posted by PetiteTonya View Post
    Gee, it must be nice to be able to claim the high exclusively for yourself. I won't speak for anyone else here, but I wish I was so perfect as to be able to be so pious and self righteous. It must be wonderful to sleep so soundly at night, knowing you've never lied to your SO about anything or done anything that was hurtful.
    Tonya, you're new here, so you're not familiar with the path that Kitty has trod and what she's endured. Perhaps before you say any more, you should look back over the previous threads she's started, here?


    Quote Originally Posted by Elizabeth2- View Post
    I am weeping with you now. I weep because whether in drab or drag, I see me in the mirror. Anyone that does not understand that does not understand crossdressing.
    Elizabeth, I'm quite sure we have all been where you are. Trust me, you can get to where you want to be - don't give up, keep trying - it takes time and practice.
    Nicki

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  22. #97
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    Crossdressing is NOT an imperfection, nor is it anything to be ashamed of. It also does not define you. It is only one of many other aspects of the wonderful person that you are.

    In my opinion, a spouse's ability to accept others for who they are is intrinsic. It has less to do with their partner's characteristics and whether or not they fit into what is perceived to be "normal" than having an extremely narrow-minded and self-centered view of the world. No doubt your wife is just as priggish when placing judgments on other people, and she will ultimately only harm herself as she is narrowing her own experiences.

    I sincerely hope your separation process will continue to be amicable. In my experience, this is very rare.
    I agree! What I've always wondered, is where is the love or compromise in some of these relationships? There sounds, to me at least, like issues of control (and maybe abuse); if you don't stop doing this I'm going to (insert whatever you would like here).

    Most people just can't live that way, at least not until the cycle repeats its self.
    Dana Ryan

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    It took me a long time to get to post # 102. And I have to admit, I'm kind of drained.

    Knowing that I was getting close to the end and hoping, like with a good book or Hollywood movie, there would be a happy ending (not that kind!), I was glad to read Lisa's #99 post.

    This thread has really hit many of the core issues that we, in this forum, face. I would like to expound, but I'm burnt out.

    Lisa, with regard to your new living arrangement, it brought to mind some lines from "The Prophet" by Kahill Gibran:

    "But let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls."

    I wish you the best for yourself, your wife, and your daughter.

    Love,
    Jacqui

  24. #99
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    terrapin station, you need to guess a little bit
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    3,664
    The only conclusion i have come to over this is that there will be women who will accept crossdressing and those that will not.

    and there is also a possibility that someone who accepts it may decide to change their opinion or conversely someone may learn to accept it.

  25. #100
    Silver Member JoAnne Wheeler's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Kentucky, the Bluegrass State
    Posts
    3,668
    Went through the same thing - had my Great Purge of 95 - then the Pink Fog settled back in about 16 months ago. My spouse was not very happy about this UNTIL she saw and realized what effect this was having on me both physically and mentally - deep depression, anxiety, irritability, suicidal thoughts, etc. Once she realized that I could no longer live without this aspect of my life, she has come to accept and love me. Of course, I've had to do the same thing - I finally stopped fighting and accepted myself for who I am and will always be.
    JoAnne Wheeler

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