I have been seeing a therapist since my wife found a picture of myself on my cellphone last new years "get therapy or get out" soon followed.
It isn't easy and goodluck hopefully what ever happens it will be for the best.
I have been seeing a therapist since my wife found a picture of myself on my cellphone last new years "get therapy or get out" soon followed.
It isn't easy and goodluck hopefully what ever happens it will be for the best.
Staying in the closet isn't so bad as long as you know why your in there.
Kne4 jerk rection. My wife kicked me out of bed when she hit menoppause. Came back to cd an never looked back
I am soooo sorry Lisa. My heart goes out to you.
I read in this post a lot of flaming opinions - yeah, I got mine too. I don't believe blame is appropriate.
Lisa is who she is.
If love was truely present for 30 years, with the memories, family gatherings, hurting, healing, sharing, living life together, how can we simply wad it up and toss it in the trash without attempting to reconcile? We need to fight for the important relationships. There are things about every SO that bothers the other. With love, we learn to adapt, tolerate, adjust, overcome, and forgive. In a marriage we ALL need to give, and take. Life in marriage is all compromise and nothing is constant except the need for adaptation.
Every morning I wake up, I have a chance to start over with the relatioinship I have with my wife. I have an opportunity to fix all the things I screwed up yesterday and last week. While it is true, everyday I typically fail again and again, that is part of what we choose to share as husband and wife. Remember the 'for better or for worse' part? The consoling, the sharing, the forgiving, the chance to be understood and yes, loved for who we are is part of sharing as husband and wife. That includes forgiveness of deceipt and issues of honesty. Sure, it would always be better to be up-front and honest from the start. But, it is what it is and arguing about how it got there 30 years ago is not as constructive a discussion as what to do about it now and - if it is so critical as to negate all the feelings shared over the years.
I've been married for 35 years. I know there are many that have been married longer. I'm not willing to throw away 35 years of my life and the life of my SO because we have a disagreement as to who is at fault in the past. We have shared too much over the years. The more critical issue is how to deal with it to the satisfaction of both - to reconcile to each other.
We all need our private time and space. We need to respect those things. If Lisa's SO chose to explore, peek, and pry in an area where a personnal boundary had been established, then maybe she decided her commitment simply couldn't be sustained under the circumstances. Maybe she was looking for a chance to draw the final line.
Sorry ladies. I fell up to that soap box didn't I.
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KarenS
I love being a woman!