Appreciated for not being a "real man"

[sybercom11]

I'm also very submissive My wife wouldn't have it any other way..We are very happy with me being the submissive one and her the dominate. Morgan

I believe there a probably many, many women out there who would want to be the dominant partner. (Of course, many others are just like us and want to be submissive.)

Being dominant suits my wife, not being submissive. She heads a department at work and is used to being assertive and in charge of things and directing things the way she wants them to be. That is house things are in our household as well.

Sure my wife and I talk things over, but she ends up having it her way. I don't cause any trouble by disputing her. And I am happy to be this way.

[Toni_Lynn]

On the topic of being dominant or submissive, I have extreme difficulty with use of these terms. One of the primary reasons is because far too many CDers are quick to equate their femininity (and femininity in other males) as being submissive. In doing so, a grave injustice is done to those of us who steadfastly stayed true to ourselves when abused by parents, schoolmates, or SOs because we are CDers.

In our marriage, neither my wife or I are dominant or submissive. We are equal partners filled with love and respect for each other needs and wants and opinions. She will defend me to the ends of the earth when I am attacked in any way, she will stand by me when I down or sad. Likewise, I will do the same for her. Neither one of us wants to either dominate or be submissive to the other. We can go to each other with any problem and we know that the other will always be there.

One promise we made to each other when we were dating is that neither of us would try to change the other. We could make this promise because we each were truthful and honest about who we are and could see that we were a perect match.

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

[Alice Torn]

Almost every woman I dated was the dominant one. Grew up in Northern Illinois farm area. Started liking sports age 13- Cubs, Sox, Bulls, especially Blackhawks!!! Bobby Hull, Stan Mikita,Dennis Hull, and the boys! Only went to one Cub game. Went to many Mariners games at the old Kingdome in Seattle, several Sonics games, back in the 80's. I may have a better chance at finding a SO, or wife, than the Blackhawks have, of winning Stanley's Cup!!! I have been rejected by women, because i was either coming on too strong, or too shy, too agressive or too gentle. My older twin brothers, always came on strong, aggressive, so, i always try to be gentle, though i am always nervous, and try not to let my rough country boy harsh side come out. I have never had financially security to offer a lady, so, i am always considered just a friend, no more. Being manic-depressive doesn't help, with no healthy family or relatives anywhere! A lot of gals still go for the tough, macho guys, mean guys, controllers, though. At dances, I will defer to the other gent, sometimes, when we both ask a gal to dance. Some guys could not care less, about being gentlemen, and care about the other fellow. Real men, or real women. Real people, like Ariana said.

[Angie G]

I Think they would change their minds if they know how good it could be. I also help around the house and we enjoy a shopping trip now and then. She's known for almost 3 years of the 40 years we've been married.
Angie

[gennee]

[SIZE="3"]A lot of times I wonder what "real man" means. I don't go to bars, drink or do a lot of many things but I enjoy being with my family. I'm more of a cerebral type. I like to read, write, cook, go out dressed in public, and other things. It's wonderful that you're spouse is accepting. Mine is though se's not overly thrilled about it. The most important thing is that she knows that I love her.

Gennee[/SIZE]

[ReineD]

I have read some messages about wives being upset because their husband was not a "real man."

My wife knew when she met me that I was not a "real man." She was attracted to my gentleness and how I treated her and other people. She was also just coming off a relationship where one of these "real men" or "macho men" tried to control her life. I frankly was surprised when she said she would go out with me of all people.

She certainly does not get that from me. She is a beautiful but confident and assertive woman. She did not appreciate a "real man" trying to micro-manage her life. She certainly does not get that from me.

At the very least, we are equal partners. I even prefer that much of the time she is the one who is in control and makes the decisions. And she prefers to be the dominant partner as well. I prefer to be submissive. So were are well-matched.

My brother is a "real man." He and his wife got divorced. My sister is married to a "real man." They fight all the time and she is depressed. A lot of my co-workes and friends are "real men" and they are divorced too.

My wife and I have our disagreements, but it is not over my not being a "real man" and how I act feminine. I don't hunt or golf or go to Steelers games or go out to bars with the "real men."

I spend my time off work taking care of her needs and those of our kids. I help her clean the house and shop. I volunteer at the kids' schools and take them to the doctor during the day. They are older now but I was the one who got them ready for school and yes, I changed diapers.

I give my wife massages and bathe her and paint her nails. And yes I pleasure her.

My wife has it nice because I am not a "real man" and she really loves it that way. I know I am an exception and so very lucky.

If the unaccepting wives and girlfriends knew what they were missing, they might change their minds about us who are not "real men."

Ditto for my current SO, my controlling ex, and what I appreciate in my current relationship. Except I wouldn't categorize my SO as a real or not so real man vs. a real or not so real woman, nor do I think about the merits and shortcomings of TG vs. non TG. (My brother is also as you describe yourself and he is not TG).

I prefer to think of my SO as an emotionally healthy, connected, and responsible human being. (Not to mention, kind, compassionate, brilliant, sexy, with gorgeous blue eyes and that killer smile).

[sybercom11]

Almost every woman I dated was the dominant one. Grew up in Northern Illinois farm area. Started liking sports age 13- Cubs, Sox, Bulls, especially Blackhawks!!! Bobby Hull, Stan Mikita,Dennis Hull, and the boys! Only went to one Cub game. Went to many Mariners games at the old Kingdome in Seattle, several Sonics games, back in the 80's. I may have a better chance at finding a SO, or wife, than the Blackhawks have, of winning Stanley's Cup!!! .

Sorry to hear about the passiing of Pit Martin. I remember the MPH line because Tony Esposito was one of my sports heroes.

And yes, I followed sports as a kid as well as played with dolls and dressed up girlie!

[victoriamwilliams1]

those "real men" I see all the time and I just want to at times tell them to get a grip and calm down! To tell you the truth those guys bug me! I believe some of them are struggling with their own identity as even some of us was that guy at one time. We as men at one time was afraid to show any weakness and told boy don't cry and a strong man holds in his pain (and he will die from it!) and swallows his pride and keeps going.

I could say more thats my .03 cents

[sybercom11]

I know some guys who think they are tough guys -- "real manly men" -- but they are really just jerks. I don't know why their wives like them that way, except for the fact that they must be great in bed.

But out of the bedroom, I can't see why some women like guys like this. A lot of these marriages end up in divorce court.

Now, I am biased here, but when a wife accepts the fact that her husband is CD or transgendered, that has got to be a better marriage than being married to some tough jerky guy.

What do you think?