I wake up first thing in the morning with the knowledge that today will not only be a very busy one for me, but probably the most important day of my life. This is because today I should be prescribed female hormones – which will change me forever and finally give the gender I feel I’ve been robbed of all my life. I feel so happy that at last my life is coming together
I decide to wear my ‘office’ skirt suit. It looks good and every time I wear it everything just seems to go so well – so psychologically it’s a great boost for me!
Once I’m made up and dressed, I go to the car and switch on my phone - but before I can move off from my drive, a text message immediately appears on my phone. I can see it’s from my lovely HR Manager over on the other side of Australia. This is what she sent me:
Hey Suzy, just wanted u to know
That I will be thinking about u
2day. A momentous day that
marks a huge positive step fwd
Congratulations, I think u r amazing.
Call me later T
What a great start to the day and how can I fail with support such as this? It’s a message I’ll save to my phone forever.
Minutes later as I drive away the phone bursts into life again. This time it’s a call from my GG friend, also to wish me luck and to arrange to meet up for lunch later in the day.
First stop at 11 am is to pick some up some make up from a stylist who my GG friend introduced me to. She has been giving me advice on clothes and cosmetics.
Next I have to drive towards the city for my 12:00 appointment with my voice therapist. The hour lesson goes well. It’s of great value to get professional feedback on something that is so important and that can be so difficult to quantify. I’m told that overall I’m about 75% there and so it’s a nice feeling to know most of the work is behind me. I just need to polish up in a few areas. There are two things that the therapist then says to me that makes me think. The first was that I seem so happy today. In fact recently, many people have noticed that about me. The other comment she made was “Have you gone full time yet?”
It’s very tempting to go 24/7 but I have to make sure I’m ready and everything is in place. It’s too important to rush and I cannot afford to make any mistakes, especially where my work is concerned as I would hate to let them down, since they have been so supportive.
Now I drive into the city for the 1:30 lunch appointment with my GG friend as arranged earlier. We have a great time together – as we always do.
Now for the important one. At 3:15 I’m sitting in the endocrinologist’s office – a little nervous, as so much is at stake today.
He invites me in and after the usual complementary chat, he asks me if I’ve had any adverse effects from the anti-androgen (anti-male hormone!) medication he prescribed 2 months ago. Luckily I’ve had no problems. Then he tells me he has the results from my blood test two days earlier. These too are excellent and show that my body is coping well with the medication. He then weighs me – my weight has dropped 3 kilos and also checks my blood pressure, which, once again is fine. He then repeats the question that was asked by the voice therapist “Have you gone full time yet?!”
A little more conversation and then…. he utters the magic words: “I think you’re ready for hormones now !” We discuss the options – he knows I’m already aware of the benefits, limitations and dangers of hormone therapy. He writes me out a script for a half-year supply and says there’s no need to see him again until 6 months time, unless I encounter problems. As he walks me to the door he wishes me a Merry Christmas! – Well I feel it’s come early for me as I now have all I ever wanted.
I drive home on a high as you can image – and just 15 minutes after I received that prescription, I stop off at the pharmacy to get my Christmas present.
I arrive home at 5pm, but my day isn’t over yet. Three weeks ago I told our next door neighbours all about my condition. We’ve known them for 5 years and you couldn’t wish for better neighbours than these. They have been totally accepting – as I knew they would be. But in all that time they still haven’t seen the new me. I know I have to break the ice sooner or later and since I’m on such a high, I feel today, right now, is the time to do it. But I want to do it in a special way.
I’m already in my business skirt suit and looking pretty official as I pin on my SCC identity card to my suit jacket, pick up a small black book and a pen – walk over to their front door and knock.
As he answers the door, I give him a big smile and say in my very best femmy voice “Good Afternoon, I’m collecting for the Children in Need at Christmas appeal, would you care to make a donation?”
“Oh sure just a moment” he says, as he goes to get some money. He returns with a five-dollar note and hands it to me. “There, thank you” he says. As I hold the money in my hand I just smile at him – and then…. eventually, the realisation washes across his face – if only I had my camera. He laughs and says “Oh!!!..... come inside and see Brenda!”(his wife) . As we go in he calls to her “ Bren, there’s a lady here who wants to see you”. She looks a little shocked that he’s invited some complete stranger straight indoors.
I’m standing just two feet away, holding the five-dollar note up and say to her “Your husband has contributed, so would you like to make a donation as well?”
She is lost for words, “ I….Well …..no,… that’s from both of us….” She stumbles over her words, finding it hard to understand how someone would have the cheek to ask for more. I give her a big smile and for 5 seconds her brain is working overtime trying to make some sense of the situation. Then at last the penny drops she cries out “Oohh !” and gives me a big, long hug.
And so, out comes the wine - and I eventually leave (stagger out) three hours later at 8pm !