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Thread: what would be your ideal situation???

  1. #1
    Junior Member foxyjj111's Avatar
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    what would be your ideal situation???

    i was just thinking of how many types and levels of cding we all exude and was curious as to what would make you personally happy.

    for example i am married and would love to be open to my wife (which im not yet) and just a few friends as well as the cd/tg world. i would love to dress whenever my wife and i would be able to go out as girls but still be the man in her life most of the time. it would sort of be our little secret. i am really tempted with the idea of hormones just to soften up some features and really only change a few things noticable only to me, nothing drastic like B cup breasts. i did stop lifting weights and do pillates and run to maintain a more femminine appearance but obviously still want to be recognized as male.

    i am sure some want way more than that and some my be content wearing a bra and playing on this site. what is everyones take on this? i am curious as to where i fit in the "crossdressing spectrum" if you will.

  2. #2
    Style Icon Sara Jessica's Avatar
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    Good question, especially if everyone keeps it in perspective about what could be a reality in our respective worlds rather than fantasy (as in "i'd get SRS and blah blah blah" when in fact the person is deeply rooted in the closet).

    As for me, I don't need to be all dolled up to express my femininity. My ideal situation, given the realities of my life, would be...

    To be able to go without socks around the house despite having a pedicure.

    Keeping said pedicure throughout the summertime.

    Perhaps wearing girl jeans at home.

    These things would enhance my own personal comfort level, hopefully to reduce the tg noise which is ever present in my mind. Keeping my legs shaved year-round has already done a lot to help.

    Then to take it a step further, my ideal situation would be for my wife to have the understanding that because of the life we share, I have made the decision to stay on the middle path despite my lifelong gender dysphoria and desire to transition. I wish to be as comfortable as possible in my own skin and ideally would be happiest if she would or could share in the joy that my tg existence can bring me, and in doing so my frustrations would hopefully diminish greatly.
    Last edited by Sara Jessica; 12-30-2008 at 10:08 AM.
    Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
    Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)

  3. #3
    Junior Member foxyjj111's Avatar
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    well said

  4. #4
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    It would probably be to marry someone in the theatrical industry, who understands that roles and costumes can be donned and changed, and it doesn't permanently change who and what we are, and of course, that she would happily indulge my 'rather unusual' desires once in a while.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  5. #5
    lighter than air! jessielee's Avatar
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    my ideal is totally unrealistic and passive; i would be "zapped" by electricity or aliens or whatever to become, without needing anyone one else to know it was my wish, to become totally, naturally female!
    in the same ridiculous way radiation or mutation makes a superhero in the comics instead of just killing you horribly.
    this says a lot about my subconscious and flaws.
    but, living in a real world of some sort,
    i would wish we could all be more tolerant and accepting so that i could come out to my loved ones.
    butterfly girl,
    [SIZE="3"]Jessie[/SIZE]

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    when i have a brand new hairdo
    with my eyelashes all in curls
    i float as the clouds on air do
    i enjoy being a girl!

    o. hammerstein - flower drum song

  6. #6
    Silver Member Jonianne's Avatar
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    I have to say I am very happy where I am at in my crossdressing. I, of course, would like to make some personal improvements where I can (such as lose weight) and learn to accept the things that I can't change (physical appearance). I am so blessed to have an accepting wife who encourages me to go out and will go out with me on occasion. All my children know and are OK with me as well. Many at my work know and are OK too. For me, I could not ask for anything more. I am blessed.
    Joni

    "Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free" Bob Dylan

  7. #7
    Miss Conception Karren H's Avatar
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    I really don't know if I could have a better situation from a couple aspects... I get out enfemme often enough.. I can't dress at hope though my wife knows but the upside to that is she doesnot dictate what fem stuff I can wear like she tends to do with my male clothing.. "You are not going out in THAT are you?". Sigh....

    I travel on business enough and always take my fem things along... Although crossdressing in the coal fields isn't like super glam!! Lol. I take half days around the area to do some enfemme shopping.. Its hard to get out on weekends.. When local TG events usually are scheduled...

    I guess if I had to enhance my current situation it would be to have an off site place to change, near home and near work.. Always thought of like a small storage area, completely decked out with a dressing area, lights.. Wardrobe storage... HEAT. Easy in and easy out.. A George Jetson changing machine would be pretty cool too but I'll have to wait for technology to catch up to that!! Hahaha
    Current Obsession - Breasts and Lingerie!

    .......My Photos

  8. #8
    Silver Member JoAnne Wheeler's Avatar
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    Ideal situation

    My ideal situation would consist of:

    1.) being able to dress completely all the time without objection by spouse and without ridicule from others,

    2.) to meet and be with you sisters - get togethers with all of us - might be a really big get together,

    3.) to have the body and face of a beautiful woman,

    4.) to enjoy my CD life to the fullest, without harassment, ridicule, etc,

    How about you ?


    Love from your sister,

    JoAnne Wheeler

  9. #9
    Aspiring lady KarenS's Avatar
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    Yeah. That's what I want. Everything you girls said.
    [SIZE=3][/SIZE]

    KarenS
    I love being a woman!

  10. #10
    Senior Member Kelsy's Avatar
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    My Ideal situation would be to have my kids know all about me and have them not care and want to get to know more about me! secondly - to have enough money to not worry about having to make a living so I could just be totally out! that's about it! my wife is secure in our relationship and loves me as is! I guess I'm not asking much! I have learned that dreams do come true if there is enough positive energy behind them!

    Kelsy
    Born female intended

    " Don't die with your music still in you!"

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by foxyjj111 View Post
    i was just thinking of how many types and levels of cding we all exude and was curious as to what would make you personally happy.

    for example i am married and would love to be open to my wife (which im not yet) and just a few friends as well as the cd/tg world. i would love to dress whenever my wife and i would be able to go out as girls but still be the man in her life most of the time. it would sort of be our little secret. i am really tempted with the idea of hormones just to soften up some features and really only change a few things noticable only to me, nothing drastic like B cup breasts. i did stop lifting weights and do pillates and run to maintain a more femminine appearance but obviously still want to be recognized as male.

    i am sure some want way more than that and some my be content wearing a bra and playing on this site. what is everyones take on this? i am curious as to where i fit in the "crossdressing spectrum" if you will.
    I very much enjoy putting on a pair of off-black pantyhose,with a short mini skirt&a
    silky white puffy sleeve blouse7a pair of black heels
    "Love&Kisses"
    Michelle

  12. #12
    Junior Member
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    Ultimate goal:

    1. To surround myself with friends who are accepting of me as I am (done)

    2. To meet a woman who, inaddition to being supportive, is just plain awesome (done)

    3. To be out to my family (difficult, still on my todo list)

    4. To be in an economic situation which I don't have to fear being outed. (done)

    5. To crossdress whenever I have an exuse to, plus a few times I don't (also done)

    I am very fortunate overall :-)

  13. #13
    Gold Member
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    I would like to live full time as a female, as Erin.
    Of course some bodily changes like nice hips and get rid of the beard.

    I am out to the family tho only my big sis has met "Erin".
    I have little fear of shopping for femme things.
    Wife knows and is semi-accepting.

    When I look at my situation as a CD I do have a lot of good things going, but I guess we always want more.

    My experience has been that no matter where you are on the CD spectrum, you always want to take it to the next level.

    The deeply closeted just wish they could share with someone.
    The ones who are out to an unaccepting wife just wish she would accept.
    Me, I am mostly out and just wish I could live 24/7.

    You always wish you could take it a step further.

  14. #14
    New Girl On The Block NikkiBeth's Avatar
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    [SIZE="2"]My ideal situation would be:
    1-Have my wife be accepting and willing to spend some "girls only" time with me. (she knows I dress, currently has no desire to be apart of it.)
    2-To be able to work 1 to 2 days a week as Nikki.
    3-To have a more feminine body.[/SIZE]

  15. #15
    Girl on the inside Rachel B's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jessielee View Post
    my ideal is totally unrealistic and passive; i would be "zapped" by electricity or aliens or whatever to become, without needing anyone one else to know it was my wish, to become totally, naturally female!
    in the same ridiculous way radiation or mutation makes a superhero in the comics instead of just killing you horribly.
    this says a lot about my subconscious and flaws.
    but, living in a real world of some sort,
    i would wish we could all be more tolerant and accepting so that i could come out to my loved ones.
    Hahaha, this tickled me into thinking of what kind of super hero a CD'er could be?????

    Picture the scene,
    A burning building down town, fire service cannot get to the top. A scream is heard from the top apartment. In flies Lipstick Larry in pink lycra all in one, with some french knickers on the outside. And a pair of UGG boots with furry trim. "Dont worry madam, I will save you.......Oooh, Jimmy Choo shoes, and I do love that top you're wearing. Oh that is an amazing wardrobe of clothes you have there.!" Looks around pensively. "I'll just save these first and be back for you in a mo!"

    Oh well, my ideal situation would be to live in a world of acceptance and wear what I want within reason. It would also be good to be able to get unbiased advice on what I can get away with wearing and what makes me look like a pig in a poke

  16. #16
    Member Tess's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by foxyjj111 View Post
    For example i am married and would love to be open to my wife (which im not yet) and just a few friends as well as the cd/tg world. i would love to dress whenever my wife and i would be able to go out as girls but still be the man in her life most of the time. it would sort of be our little secret. i am really tempted with the idea of hormones just to soften up some features and really only change a few things noticable only to me, nothing drastic like B cup breasts. i did stop lifting weights and do pillates and run to maintain a more femminine appearance but obviously still want to be recognized as male.
    I'm with you Foxy. Your ideal is pretty close to mine.

  17. #17
    Girlygirl Tomboy Wannabee Toni_Lynn's Avatar
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    Well, because my wife is totally accepting, things are just grand there. Its other things I suppose:

    1) No facial hair, so that I'd be able to go without makeup
    2) Only slightly larger breasts, no larger than a B cup, with more feminine nipples.
    3) Dead-straight hair!

    And then -- ooooh I swoon at thinking this one -- being mistaken for a girl even when in drab! That would be the ultimate!

    Huggles

    Toni-Lynn
    --I'm TN (transnationalist) - a Canadian born in an American's body! I stand on guard for thee!

  18. #18
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    I'm living my ideal situation. It consists of just being myself and having nothing to prove to anyone, least of all myself.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  19. #19
    Former Member
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    I am there.

    I have a great wife and have everything I need. I can crossdress whenever I want. I wouldn't change a thing.

    I know how fortunate I am....

    Now if my job didn't get in the way of my crossdressing.....hmmmmmmmm........

  20. #20
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Balance!

    Which would probably mean finding a GG I was involved with. One that I would feel comfortable dressing in front of, and with!

    Probably as likely as being visied by the, " U can turn into a beautiful woman whenever u like, FAIRY"!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  21. #21
    Happy 2 B Here Mercedes's Avatar
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    My ideal situation would include the support and acceptance of my wife and the courage to go out and meet with my girlfriends (all of you). It sounds so simple and yet so far away.

    Mercedes XOXOXO

  22. #22
    Junior Member HappyErica's Avatar
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    My wife knows and is accepting, I wish I could more ok with wearing around her. I still feel guilty/strange.. but as along as she is supportive, I know I will come out of my shell

  23. #23
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    I am also blessed. My wife approves and has given me more help and support at this than I could ever imagine. She was scared at first but has learned to cope well and stand beside me through it all. She is the biggest part of my success as Josie.

    I will have to agree that in the CD spectrum we are all in a different realms. One gals boring day is another gals dream day. But I will say that none of my success had to do with LUCK. I had to work for it.

    So ideal checklist for me:

    1) find GG who is accepting and involved in my CDing (done and then some!!!)

    2) Be out to my family. (was done FOR ME 5 years ago. unfortunately without my permission But I cant change the past )

    3) Finding other CDs for friends (working on it..slow times in Eastern Rural Canada. Anyone else reading from this area?)

    4) To present and go out in public as a woman... (sort of... went out driving once but met/talked to no one. But I have my wife on board for a future shopping spree in a big city someday. I keep telling her Josie is her best Shopping Gal Pal ever but she just doesn't know it yet!!!! )

    5) Be very passable in public without hormones or surgery. (I get my diploma then)

    6) Change society's issues with CD/TS. (working on it one day at a time)


    Never stop dreaming ladies!!!


    Josie

  24. #24
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    I'm pretty fortunate in that my wife doesn't mind my dressing. She likes to go to Goodwill stores as much as I do and helps me look for things. It's gotten to the point that sometimes in the early evening when I'm still in drab, she will say to me .. aren't you going to change? I Love to hear those words. I sleep every night in a nightie and my daily routine is getting dressed enfemme when I get up and staying that way for a few hours before going drab the rest of the day. I wish I could let friends and family know about the real me but ....

  25. #25
    Member Sedona's Avatar
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    I'm in a good spot with my CDing really. No major complaints (I'd like to be hair-free a bit more during the year), as my wife is cool with my level of activity. I'm very lucky.
    -Sedona

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