With or Without Warning?

[queenie]

I've actually set all the restrictions on myself. She's pretty supportive of me and I don't want to freak her out too much. First time I told her, she was kind of wierded out. I've been breaking her in to this kind of slowly. I do wear a lot of fem clothes around the house now and she doesn't mind any more. She's not a big shopper so we don't go shopping for clothes together or anything like that. I've only shown her a couple pictures of me completely decked out. She hasn't seen me that way IRL yet and I don't mind really.

[Alice B]

My wife understands my need to dress and accepts it with the following restrictions. I can dress anytime she is not at home and if she is away at a meeting can stay dressed when she gets home as long as I let her know in advance. I can also ask her at times if I can dress while she is home. She will say OK and will stay upstairs, as she does not want to see me dressed. A couple of times I pushed it too far and she exploded, feeling I was flaunting it in her face. That was not the intent, but I must be careful of getting carried away. I wear panties 7/24, have painted toe nails and wear nighties to bed. All of this is OK and I have pierced ears. That is OK also and she have bough several pairs of ear rings for me.

[stephaniesacd]

just as I am, my CD'ing and all. We go shopping for clothes and makeup together and try different make up techniques that we pick up on one another. She gets to see me in male mode all day since we both work from home. In the evening, after work, Stephanie gets to come out and spend the evening. My wife says she likes spending time with Stephanie. I haven't gotten the courage to go out en femme yet so Stephanie stays really close to home. We don't really have a set schedule for Stephanie to come out...she gets to come out whenever she likes. I have the best wife in the world.

[phoebe61]

My wife lets me dress whenever i want indoors ( she'd dissown me if i ever go out in public dressed) with the curtains closed when we are not exepting anyone inc our grown up son who lives with us but often stays out weekends.
also wont call me by my fem name
but we go shpping for fem clothes, makeup juwelry necklesses ect together
DONNA FROM UK

[DonnaT]

Well, 33 years ago I could dress totally enfemme anytime, but things changed and she did a complete 180.

After years of riding the roller-coaster and having those talks, now I can dress anytime, without wig and makeup. Note, she gave me a wig 33 yrs ago, and bought me the one I have now.

She definitely doesn't like seeing me with makeup on. She's a little less bothered by the wig. But, I am satisfied with just the dressing, sans wig and makeup, so no big deal for me.

Going out, however, she wants to know ahead of time.

However, she still doesn't particularly like my CDing.

[Alison010274]

For the most part my wife is what I would consider "supportive." She does not mind if I dress at home pretty much when ever I want to. I do, almost always, ask her if she is OK with it before I proceed with the transformation. She does go as far as allowing me to have the run of her closet when dressing though, so that may actually go above and beyond "supportive."
There is definately a resistance when it comes to going out in public though. I think this is more to do with concerns for my safety than anything else though..

[suzy]

Molly,

My wife understands and is supportive but as in most cases there are limitations....on both sides, mine and hers.

My wife buys things for me, shops with me, and gives me feminine things for gifts. She has seen me dressed and has been showing me how to put on make up, and tricks or looking more feminine.

When I go out of town on business she comes to the airport to pick me up with a bag of feminine clothes so I can change at the airport and drive home.

But....she also deserves, wants and needs the man that she married. She and I have agreed that as long as I am in male mode at least 1/2 of the time the other time is mine to dress how I wish. She also refuses to dance with me when I'm dressed in feminine mode, which is what I expect and want as well.

I am not a full time CD'r...I get my time and it's more than enough to satisfy my cravings. I wear feminine underwear 99% of the time an sleep in nighties 100% of the time. Rarely do I chose to go out dressed and none of the family (as far as I know) have a clue about it.

It is only through communication and understanding that we have reached the common ground. Wives and SO's have fears about what we are really trying to do or become, and understandably so. I tried to clear the air on those issues right from the start so she doesn't worry about where will it all end....she knows, we agree and we both accept it.

I hope this helps. Good luck to you!

[Joanie]

My wife knows I dress up when she is away, just like now.

As I know it sort of bothers her, I abstain from it when she is here unless it is "bed time" in which I have worn hose, panties, pumps and even lipstick lately. I have also worn some feminine pajamas around the house some.

She won't do my makeup but helped once with the lipstick and, years ago, did my nails. I don't have a wig but do have false breasts but she hasn't seen these. So her level of acceptance is very good but if I am was constantly en femme around her, I know her well enough to know that this would cause a problem.

[Katrina red nails]

I don't know where i fit in the spectrum of wife's acceptance - quite low down the scale i guess.
She knows about it and i can go to the bedroom every day if i want. With kids (males 16+) about the house opportunities to dress around the rest of the house are limited. When the kids were with their mum over Xmas i had a couple of days dressed full time but she wasn't overkeen.Although she puts up with it she doesn't want to get involved and doesn't like hugging me when dressed.
My dream would be for her to become as accepting as some of the spouses on here and as a first step toward that dream i would love to go on a shopping trip with her for fem stuff for both her and myself ( I would be dressed in male mode).
I haven't told her yet that i wear panties and toenail polish 24/7 because not sure the reaction i would get.

[Kate Simmons]

Tough call Hon. Women reserve the right to change their mind at any given time without prior notice or reason.

[KandisTX]

My wife has known since three days after we met some 13 plus years ago. Her acceptance has always been total, as has her support and participation. She knows that Kandis is a part of the total package and that is who I am always going to be. If it came to a choice of my not dressing or something else, I am sure she would support my ability to dress over anything, simply because she knows that if I do not get to dress, I am no longer myself and therefore I am not the man she married, or fell in love with.

Kandis

[Tina B.]

My wife has known about Tina for over 30 years. It has not always been so, but at this point in life, I pretty much wear what I want when I want. I run hot and cold on dressing, so I might not dress for a long time, then go days and days in a skirt. I am a stay at home crossdresser, (In the Closet) We both like it that way. Besides I live in a very small town, a long way from a city, so there is no where to go anyway. But we shop together, I in drab, she buys me feminine gifts, Tells me when she thinks I did a nice job on my make-up, hair, or put together a cute outfit. No sex, we are just girlfriends not lovers when it comes to both of us presenting female. She has shared my secret for over 30 years, has never betrayed my trust, shared make up and dressing tips, and she has let me be the woman that is inside, as much as I have needed it, and if I go to long without it, she reminds me of the need for it. So yes while she is glad to see me keep it inside.I'd say she accepts me just fine.
Tina B.

[Samantha Kelsey]

My girlfriend Katy just accepts me as a person. No matter what I wear or when I want to wear it. She loves me for me. I try to always look good for her no matter what I wear and I take special care to never place her in a position of embarrasement or ridicule from others about me. She loves to go out with me and is always giving me complements and encouragement. Maybe we're a little different to most couples on here in that Katy knew about me before our relationship started but that doesn't give me a license to do anything that would hurt or humiliate her.
I'm the luckiest person alive.

[debbeelee1]

My wife is accepting and encouraging of my Cding. I can dress en femme any time I want, but I don't over due it. She buys me things and picks things out for me. Because of our job as truck drivers, we are only home 2-3 weeks every 8 weeks. I do dress on the weekends sometimes when we stay in a motel, but at home is usually the only chance I get. In the evening, I usually wear nightgown and my forms. My wife's 25 year old daughter lives with us and I am totally open with her and a few of her friends that come over too.

[Angie G]

I dress % day a week (if the grandkids aren't here) with my wife's acceptance some times with makeup I give her me in drab on the weekends She needs her man sometimes and that's fine it work out good for us.And on weekend I do under dress with at least panties and sometimes a Cami. We shop together and talk of clothing all the time. I've only been you to her for 3 years of our 40 years of Marriage.
Angie

[stephanie.ts]

Reading these posts there seems to be three different levels of support (or lack-thereof): tolerance, acceptance, and encouragement. I told my girlfriend two weeks after we started dating about my crossdressing. This idea was very exciting to her, and subsequently she scribed in her diary how she wished to take me lingerie shopping (she narrated this, I wasn't snooping!). We've been together for 18 months and she is not only accepting, but also very encouraging. The past few months we have lived together, me being more-or-less permanently en-femme. This past Christmas (and for most holidays) she purchases me only feminine items. Her enthusiasm is, however, spurred on by the fact that she finds transsexualism (and ambiguously gay men) incredibly erotic.

[Dragster]

Has she got a sister Stephanie? Please!

Tony

[Emily Anderson]

My now ex-wife was not understanding or accepting. At best, she was tolerant, and it was all on her terms. That just didn't work for me, seeing as I didn't want to dress up when she wanted, but rather when I felt like it.

It's like saying "you can eat your favorite food when I'm out with my girlfriends on Tuesday evening between 8pm and 11pm".

No thanks!

[AllyM]

My wife accepts me for who I am. We are both very similar and pretty much fall into the "Tomboy" category. Our dress is very simlar, except I wear hose during the cold weather more than she does. I also wear opague knee-hi's most days when she used to wear ankle socks. Over the last year, she has gotten to like my knee-hi's so we find ourselves buying them more frequently.