CD's and Depression

[Kerrylee61]

After spending a great deal of time reading the various entries on the forums here I begin to wonder it there is a significant link between Crossdressing and spells of depression that have been present on and off for years.

Speaking for myself, I have suffered from chronic depression on and off for much of my life. To this day, I still suffer from spells of minor depression even though I take an antidepressant to control it. The low's just aren't as low as they once were.

Just a thought ladies, any care to comment?

Kerry

[TxKimberly]

Bingo - you win the prize~! I play with depression quite often, sometimes it's fairly over whelming. For instance, oh, right now! :-)

[Karren H]

Nope.... I rarely ever get depressed..... never have... probably never will... and if I do.. it has absolutly nothing to do with crossdressing....

[steftoday]

Bingo - you win the prize~! I play with depression quite often, sometimes it's fairly over whelming. For instance, oh, right now! :-)

can we help Kim?

[julimac2003]

Yeah you could well be right Kerry I am feeling very depressed at the moment but that's partly due to my SO of 12 years walking out on me just before Christmas and there is only me & the three cats now and I am finding it very difficult to pick myself back up again. I could dress all day long if I wanted but only wear bra & panties under drab.
I just cant find any enthusiasm for much at the moment guess it still hurts?.

[DanaR]

I have noticed that my depression seems to be greater when I'm not dressing. There have been some other issues in the last four years, but before that I was almost never depressed. When I do have a chance to dress, I almost feel guilty for taking some time for myself. I used to dress maybe at least a couple times a week, now I'm lucky to dress once a month.

[PretzelGirl]

I'm with Karren. No depression here ever.

[Cassia-Marie]

I'm at a low spot today, too, Kim. Actually, I've been sliding more and more over the past week or so. I've been on a healthy dose of Prozac for the past 2 years to keep me from having severe panic attacks so who knows how bad off I'd be if I weren't.

I've tried to research and find out if there's a link between crossdressing and (clinical) depression. I haven't found any conclusive evidence, though. My guess is that they not mutually exclusive and that whereas one can influence the other, one does not have to be present for the other to occur. I did find that those who are prone to depression and are also CD's may suffer more severe forms of depression especially if they are restricted in when, where and how they are allowed to crossdress. I believe they called it Gender Expression Deprivation Anxiety Disorder.

Personally, I think crossdressing is a nice distraction from my depression. I never feel more or less depressed while I'm en femme, I just have something to momentarily take my mind off the depression. I think that's because my depression is chemical-based due to a seratonin imbalance. I still feel the underlying problem; I just have something I enjoy to distract me from it.

[Kerrylee61]

I'm at a low spot today, too, Kim. Actually, I've been sliding more and more over the past week or so. I've been on a healthy dose of Prozac for the past 2 years to keep me from having severe panic attacks so who knows how bad off I'd be if I weren't.

I've tried to research and find out if there's a link between crossdressing and (clinical) depression. I haven't found any conclusive evidence, though. My guess is that they not mutually exclusive and that whereas one can influence the other, one does not have to be present for the other to occur. I did find that those who are prone to depression and are also CD's may suffer more severe forms of depression especially if they are restricted in when, where and how they are allowed to crossdress. I believe they called it Gender Expression Deprivation Anxiety Disorder.

Personally, I think crossdressing is a nice distraction from my depression. I never feel more or less depressed while I'm en femme, I just have something to momentarily take my mind off the depression. I think that's because my depression is chemical-based due to a seratonin imbalance. I still feel the underlying problem; I just have something I enjoy to distract me from it.

Gender Expression Deprivation Anxiety Disorder sounds about right to me. Have to check with my Dr. next time I get my "head shrunk"

Kerry

[sandra-leigh]

I was building up towards a burn-out for several years and didn't realize it. I wasn't depressed during that build-up -- I can't say I was especially happy either, but it wasn't inconsistent with the rest of my life of long hours of demanding technical work and little social activity. Anyhow, during that build-up, although I didn't realize it at the time, I was increasingly often "trying on" some of my wife's clothes; I wasn't wearing them, more like comparing how they would look, seeing what looked good together. I was regularly buying clothes for my wife (and she generally liked my taste), and I think there were some occasions when I flirted briefly with the idea of trying on the clothes to be sure they would look okay on my wife. Amazing how the human mind can kid itself, eh?

But I didn't become a cross-dresser, didn't realize that I wanted to wear the clothes, until after I Burnt Out one Christmas, and not even then until a year of mental and physical hell later before I started treatment for Depression -- didn't realize my interest in cross-dressing until I had been on anti-depressants about 7 months. Interestingly, the anti-depressant I was on at the time has a known (positive) sexuality-related side effects (not an aphrodisiac as such, but people found they enjoyed their sex life more), so it might not be entirely a coincidence: the anti-depressant might have repaired / unkinked / unclogged / whatever, a neural pathway that I already had. Or it might simply have un-muddled my mind in general enough for me to be able to process the idea clearly.

It didn't take me long, though, to realize that getting dressed and going out was one of the best anti-depressants going, much more effective than the drugs I was taking. Without question, the drugs were important in helping me, but especially at the beginning, they had a lot of internal chemistry to repair, and even on the drugs I could be pretty muddled and confused and unable to plan and somehow unable to Just Get Out The Door, and mostly just wanted to crawl back into bed. But once I got the idea to dress up and go out, I could find my (hidden) stash of stuff (it wasn't "too much bother" to do so) and I could put on some cosmetics, and I could choose clothes, and I could get myself out the door to the bus. Even then I might be telling myself "I'm not sure I really want to do this, maybe I should just go home, I'm not really feeling too good" -- it wasn't a Miracle Drug, other than the minor miracle (at the time) of actually getting off my butt and getting out the door to try to do something (especially in the middle of winter.) And not infrequently after I got where I was going, five minutes after I'd arrived, I would be thinking, "This was a mistake, I should have stayed at home, I'm not feeling good, I should just call a taxi and go home and curl up in a ball." But I didn't. And then suddenly, somewhere around half an hour later, I would realize that I might or might not be a bit bored, but that I was thinking clearly and I wasn't confused at all and I could look at everything (my depression was bad enough that I sometimes had "tunnel vision", where I had to block everything that wasn't immediately in front of me out of my perceptions, to get through one step at a time.)

You might expect that going out in a skirt and top (and no wig!) to a local mall, where lots of neighbours or people from work might plausibly show up, would be one of the most nerve-wracking things one could do, but for me, it made me feel normal for a while. And if you've ever been clinically Depressed, you might remember that one of the hardest parts to deal with is the feeling like your misery is never going to end: even on anti-depressants, you can feel like being Sick for-ever is your new reality -- so to go from there to feeling normal by cross-dressing is mojo of a very high order indeed!

I've read a little on the subject. Whatever cross-dressing is, for a lot of men, it acts very powerfully. When not dressing, they may be wracked with feelings of guilt and fear and self-loathing of their "perversity" -- so why would anyone want to go through all of that? And those feelings should get worse when one actually dresses, right? But No: some scientists have done medical studies, and found that when such guys finally dress, that their blood pressure drops a lot, that their brain waves grow much more tranquil, and the stress hormones (e.g., cortazone) in their blood drop quite measurably.

If you've ever been sure that somehow when you cross-dress, that it just feels good in some non-specific way, then you might be absolutely and completely right, that it is affecting your body a lot.


I am not saying that cross-dressing (or repressing cross-dressing) can trigger a depression -- though I do personally believe that repressing cross-dressing could plausibly trigger a medical depression. My experience is on the other side of the coin: that I am certain that for those so inclined, that cross-dressing can relieve depression. (Still: yeah, one doesn't always feel like one wishes to cross-dressing whilst one is depressed.)

[Angie G]

I've never been plagued by depression I thin in part becouse I dress.
Angie

[LilSissyStevie]

I had severe depression the first half of my life. I spent a couple of years in mental hospitals and many years on drugs and therapy - including self medication. But, I haven't experienced any significant depression in over 30 years and I've been through it all during that time - divorce, bankruptcy, foreclosure, deaths of close friends and family members, etc. I've taken no drugs nor seen any therapists. I still have bad days but nothing like the hell I once lived in. I'm just grateful to have been given another chance. I dress a lot more now than I did then. I never wanted to do anything when I was depressed.

[NancyTO]

Put me in the camp with Karen. I rarely if ever get depressed. Though I vary in my urge to dress, I am always extra happy when crossdressed.

[docrobbysherry]

After I got OUT of the Army and my marriage, anyway!
Generally, I'm Mister Evenkeel!

Strangely enough, I get more down about NOT dressing, when I have opportunity and DON'T, then by anything else these days!

I dressed today and am on top of the world rite now!

[CD Susan]

I used to experience periods of depression many years ago. This was during a period in my life when I was not accepting of and did not understand why I had the urge/desire to wear womens clothes. I felt that I did not want to do this and wanted to be 'normal' like the rest of the guys I knew. I fought with this for many years until I finally accepted it as just the way that I am and the feelings I had were not ever going to go away. When I learned to accept this part of me my feelings of depression disappeared and my life was changed for the better. I could not be any happier now.

[RobynP]

After spending a great deal of time reading the various entries on the forums here I begin to wonder it there is a significant link between Crossdressing and spells of depression that have been present on and off for years.

Speaking for myself, I have suffered from chronic depression on and off for much of my life. To this day, I still suffer from spells of minor depression even though I take an antidepressant to control it. The low's just aren't as low as they once were.

Just a thought ladies, any care to comment?

Kerry

Hi, Kerry!

Just to make sure we are talking about the same thing... everyone has highs and lows that are cyclical. Sometimes our highs are really high and sometimes our lows are really low. But we know it is just a part of life.

However, when one hits a low point and it goes on and on and on and it doesn't seem to be getting better, it becomes important that one starts to focus on why things aren't getting better. When one feels very low and doesn't feel like doing ANYTHING, danger signals should be going off. When one feels very low and actually doesn't do ANYTHING like get out of bed or go to work, then it is time to seek professional help.

There can be a number of things causing depression and there are a number of different treatments for depression.

Tess-Leigh describes the very powerful effect crossdressing has on us both as a way to alleviate the depression or to cause depression... Someday some scientist will figure out chemically what goes on in our brains when we crossdress. For many of us our mood is SIGNIFICANTLY altered when we crossdress or when we can't but want to.

For some people there may be a link between crossdressing and depression. However, it may be difficult to determine the cause and effect relationship(s)...

Robyn P.

[VeronicaMoonlit]

Let's just say Depression and Despair are old personal friends of mine and yes in part it's because of "This Thing of Ours." I've tried various methods of dealing with it, self acceptance works best, that and the sparkle ponies. But that....is another story.

Veronica
Rondelle (Ron) Rogers Jr.

[sissystephanie]

I had never had depression, until I lost my wife to cancer in February of 2005. We had been married for 49 1/2 years, and had known each other for over 60 years. She had known about my CD'ing and fully supported me!

That caused me to become so depressed that I, a good Catholic, was actually thinking of suicide!! I have two wonderful children, but I still was thinking about it. Then a totally wonderful darling lady (GG) in Scotland came to my rescue! We started off with email, and progressed to the telephone. She convinced me that my life was more valuable then I thought, and told me that she loved me even though she had never met me in person. So here I am today, still kicking and still dressing.

BTW, I do have a strong philosophy that has carried me through everything except my wife's death! It is a very simple one, and I highly recommend it to everyone. Simply put, it is this! Worry only about the things you can control yourself!! If you cannot affect the outcome, don't worry about it!! Doing so will not change anything!!

Life is great, LIVE IT!!

[MJ]

yes i suffer from depression big time. some days are good but on the bad days well it can be bad ...

[ErikaLeigh]

I generally get depressed when I go for a long time without dressing. I underdress 24/7 now but it just doesnt do it for me. My wife has recently (last month or so) become more open to talking about it with me and that has helped tremendously. I still need my "gurl" time though and its been almost 2 months since my last outing. I always feel great during and right after I dress.

[curse within]

After spending a great deal of time reading the various entries on the forums here I begin to wonder it there is a significant link between Crossdressing and spells of depression that have been present on and off for years.

Speaking for myself, I have suffered from chronic depression on and off for much of my life. To this day, I still suffer from spells of minor depression even though I take an antidepressant to control it. The low's just aren't as low as they once were.

Just a thought ladies, any care to comment?

Kerry

Yeah.......We are doing something that isn't socially accepted that within it's self is depressing enough.. Now add seperated because wife who knew of this before a long 20 plus year marriage and had the power to hold it above you..Oh and lets add the bad times with the economy.. ANY ANTI DEPRSSION PILL TO ME IS LIKE M&M's right now!!! Oh but I get to look forward to dressing again and all by myself because I am so stubborn I will not let anyone I know get envolved in it.. Closets rule right??... Sorry went on a spat...No offence anyone..Hope I don't get fired only thing I have to look forward to is my sh@ty job keeps me sane..

[Sally2005]

What I've learned from experience, is depression results from many stresses over a long time that make you unhappy. This causes hormone changes and anti-depressants help get the hormones back to normal so you can remember what it feels like to be happy. Then you have to work on your attitude and thinking to keep from getting stressed. Not being 'at peace' with CDing is one stress, not having a good job, happy wife, etc...are all others. They add up, CDing is not the direct link to depression, but it is related.

...something that helps...do something that you know has made you happy in the past. Exercise and sleep is good. And laughing.

[Deborah Jane]

I,ve suffered bouts of depression quite often in the past, not always c/d related, but i nearly always found dressing helped me get over it quicker.
Since accepting myself completely for who i am i ,ve actually found i get depressed very rarely now and the depression i do still get isn,t c/d related anyway.

[Kelsy]

I have had bad periods of depression and was on medication for sometime. I struggle with seasonal affective disorder so if I am going to be depressed, this is the time of year that I can expect it. Now if I go for long periods without dressing I will become depressed just by the emotional repression of my need to expresss my inner self! Since being able to dress at home whenever I want my depressions are few and mild!!

Kelsy

[JoAnne Wheeler]

I get so terribly depressed when I can't let JoAnne out as much as she needs. I have and still do have to take three anti-depressants a day plus a mood stabilizer. I have had this depression ever since I started CDing as a child - it has grown to include severe irritability, anxiety and suicidal thoughts - the only real relief that I get is when I am dressed to the fullest - it is only then that I feel like who I was always supposed to be
Love,
JoAnne Wheeler