Birthday (well, sort of)

[Rachel_740]

Hi Girls,

Long time, no post (not under this login anyway, some of you will know me on my other login).

Transitioning is for just a few girls, but I've always felt I'm in the wrong body and finally having the guts and the oppertunity to do something about it was a real relief, both at the time, and now. I'm not going to try to push anyone else into it because it is so difficult - and I've had a really easy time of things, no hassle inside or outside work, work, family and friends have all been so supportive.

I'm 5 months old today and I thought I'd put up a post giving a few things I love about my new life and things I miss about my old life.

Things I miss from my old life

urm................. that's a hard one......................nothing, not even being able to get up in the morning and throw on whatever clothes come to hand.

Things I don't miss

The mens room!
Mens clothes.
Having no choice of clothes (in wardrobe - sorry, closet - or in shops)


Regrets after transitioning

Just one, that my (closest) cousin couldn't accept me, although she did seem to be coming round a little, then - totally out of the blue, she passed away about 6 weeks ago. I was devastated and still am - it's going to take me a very long time to come to terms with that.

Things I love in my new life

Being able to be myself.
The freedom to wear what I want when I want (well almost, but I'll come to that later).
The feel of my clothes, fabrics.
Clothes shopping - really love it but the bank manager doesn't, I've got things in my wardrobe I've never worn - nothing that goes with them, but working on that.
Putting on my make up in the mornings (despite having to get up 1/2 hour earlier).
Being seen and treated as female.
My skirt blowing in the wind.
Leg waxing (I don't do it myself).
First time out in a new skirt.
Every time out in any skirt - I'm a really love wearing skirts

Things I dislike about my new life

Having to take my make up off before I go to bed when it's VERY late and I'm over-tired.
Having to wear jeans for work - I'd love a job where it is practical to wear a skirt (give it time and I'll probably find one).

Overall conclusion

Looking back over the last 5 months I have had problems, although at the time I couldn't see them. There are still a few occasions when I fell self-concious and I do still hear the very occcasional comment 'thats a guy' as I walk past someone, but almost all the time I either look good enough not to attract attention to myself, or people are kind enough not to let on that they know. I wouldn't like to put figures on those who do know and don't say, against those who don't know, but as long as they don't let me know they know that's OK with me. Ideally I love to fool all the people all the time, but being realistic I don't think that will ever happen.

I'm really comfortable and feel 'at home' with my new self.

On reflection I think I've probably done the right thing waiting until now, when I'm a bit older (40's). Looking around at GG's in their teens and early twenties, I think it would have been almost impossible for me to blend in because I have always been extremely hairy and I don't think I could have got my complextion anything like good enough, but now I'm older (and I don't mean this to sound disrespectful to any GG), I think I can get away with having a slightly 'weather beaten' look, not such a good complextion, and still look reasonably female. I'm sure you understand what I'm trying to say and I hope I haven't insulted any of you GG's.

I'm happier now than I can ever remember and, for me, I can be 100% sure when I say transitioning was the right thing.

I just love my new life and I'm really looking forward to having my operation next year - the time is just going to fly past.

Rachel
xxx

[Julie]

Hi Rachel,

Great to hear from you. It seems your transition has been reasonably pain free. I just mentioned the word transition and my life was suddenly turned upside down.

I recall you talking about this so many months ago and how much support you were getting. I thought you were just focusing on the positives because it all seemed too good to be true, but apparently that's really the way it was going. I'm happy for you.

I'd bring you up to date on my life but it would just sound like I'm crying in my beer again. I think I've done enough of that here. Time to move on.

Take care,