Well i always say that you can prove something is possible but you can`t prove it is impossible , how do you know she is not right and capable of doing these things , it is possible to tell what something is just from a sound or a smell so why not instant facial recognition, in most people the natural instincts have been lost .
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Joanne
There's a saying that 80% of statistics are made up.
Sorry, can't help you there. She's beyond paranoid. Plus, her saying "she not leaving", just proves she's comfortable with you doing it all and she doesn't have to do anything. She is trying to make you leave cause then she could say that you abandon the relationship. Which in all, will cost you a lot. Keep a journal and a diary of what she does and what she doesn't do. How she acts with your kid is also but in there. Everything that she doesn't do should be place in that diary, including what she says. Cause this will go to divorce. Then you can use the diary for evidence to fight her trying to rake you over the coals.
Be prepared.
While, I was in the military I saw many spouses do many things like this to the guys that worked for me and with me. My greatest advice is be prepared with documents and paperwork.
Sorry about your relationship. Your more of a man to stay there, then I am.
Take care.
LD
The situation you're both in is'nt healthy. A monthly confrontation , goodness you must be living on tender hooks , walking on egg shells.
I think it's only fair that perhaps you both should agree at least to sit down ( agree to set rules , ie don't interupt , don't be loud ' no emotional blackmail and if it gets heated cease the discussion ) and talk. Properly.
Its horrid , but we all have to accept that at one point or another to move foward we have to draw a line , but to even get there we must at least try to understand each others insecurities and fears . Even more so our wishe's and hopes for a stable future .
Once that line is reached , then at least a compramise can be reached - no more warfare.
We simply cannot move on if we continue to fight .
As for remarks ( farts ect in you're post ) thats a venom niether of you need . You were after all once head over heels for each other , regarding one another with deep love and respect . Perhaps if we could all take time to bury our disbelief , our hurt , our disgust even , remember the person we once knew and at least accept that times passed and things have changed so dramatically then we'll no longer fight with such angst.
Some times we really have to face up to the truth we're so scared to confront . We continue to grow ....evolve and change.....but at least rty to do it in peace .
I wish you both all the best of luck in the world...........
Shelly.
can't help with your turmoil.. but i can say, a lady doesn't fart in public
To me, that sounds like a challangeShe closed with, "no mater how much I hate what you do, I'm not leaving." Ugh.
Drumming, My other hobby
Yes Jillian, we know that she loves the house more than you and we know that she ain't going to get the house from you.
Apart from imagining the next episode there is not much anybody in here can do for you.
I Wish
~Samm
.
'Kerriana "Samantha.....i feel like I'm hearing her through fractured glass.. She makes sense if you kinda squint"
People do have good facial recognition capabilities. It's part of our nature as we've developed it over thousands of generation. Many people need to see someone in person to recognize them. Different clothes, hair, etc really don't seem to make a dramatic difference. Some people do have difficulty recognizing faces from photographs. I know from my own experience that I was not able to identify the face of someone who attacked me from photographs that the police showed me. But entering a very crowded hallway at the court house I immediately pointed to my lawyer the guy who. all cleaned up and in a suit, was sitting at the other end of the hall.
Fear of recognition for you wife might be more than just the ramifications to you. It could have negative effects on her. You might be OK. for one example, with finding new friends if you old ones don't accept this part of you. She, on the other hand, might not want to give up her friends. It's not right, nor is it fair to force this upon her.
Warm regards,
Christina Nicole
Sooner or later we all discover that the important moments in life are not the advertised ones, not the birthdays, the graduations, the weddings, not the great goals achieved. The real milestones are less prepossessing. They come to the door of memory unannounced, stray dogs that amble in, sniff around a bit and simply never leave. Our lives are measured by these.
--Susan B. Anthony
What does she say when you burp?
I'd have to vote with "scare tactics" on this one. And as for that farting thing ... Just when I thought I'd heard everything ...
Lotsa Hugs,
--Pam
When the conversations do not make sense you need to involve a third party to mediate. A friend of ours once said about the subject of professional help;
If the two of you got to this point what makes you think of the two of you can fix what you have gotten to. Seek independent professional help.
The best thing my wife did when our CDing issues between us hit the fan was to tell me if I was committed to our marriage we were going to counseling. We went in to fix my CDing and ended up fixing our marriage and improving our relationship and communication skills with each other. She still does not like my CDing but now we are able to deal with it.
kim
joe in a skirt
KimberlyS-CD
joe in a skirt. Being myself not trying to be some other CDer
Just trying to find a balance for my son and myself.
Standard disclaimer: Going out of the house was right for me, it may or may not be right for you. If you've got no desire to leave the house, that's fine, I'm not trying to push you out the door. But for those who've been yearning to do so, I just want to let you know the world may not be as scary a place as you think.
smart cookie that girl....differentiates between your behavior and your person. might be worth the effort to continue to find some accommodation. of course, my first response was "hey, don't let me hold you back!" but then i'm a cynic of the first order.Originally Posted by JaytoJillian
i do think people can recognize others through only the eyes...especially if they can see them with the nose too. weird how that is......i ran my drab and femme pics through a morph software a few years ago and while the difference was night and day the exercise made me realize that the actual features that compose my face had not changed.
Why do you stay with her, she's a nutcase... I'm sorry, but she is.. and you deserve better. You can't stay with her for fear of her outing you, she might just do that anyway, by the sounds of her, she needs locking up... what a horrible person
The only help you need is packing your suitcases and getting the hell out of there...
Administrator
Missing my Libra babe Sherlyn, I hope she's rocking up there with the angels
Missing our Rianna, doesn't seem right, gone to early, hope she's partying with Sherlyn
With my first wife everything was just fine. I didn't overdue XDing and she suggested most of our outings. She always got me something feminine for christmas and birthdays. Came Home one day and the house was empty... everything was gone. You never know.
Last edited by Marjory; 01-12-2009 at 10:48 PM. Reason: spelling
Not everything is political and not everything propagates stereotypes just because it is funny or contains half-truths.
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
Learn how to laugh.
Philosophically, having no rules to the female thought process implies that it is boundless with no limitations imposed by society.
That is something that we all, in our desire to emulate the female spirit, aspire to.
Phyllis, thanks for putting a smile on my face!
Jacqui
If she is dissatisfied with the way you dress, ask her to help you pick a better look, or with your makeup, so ppl wouldn't reconize you. It can be done. I've walked past releatives and went to where I used to work, and even talked to some of my old coworkers. With the right help, you too can fool the world...BJ
ps. Don't belive me, look at Karen!!!
Even I can't recognize myself when I look in the mirror.She needs to see a therapist, this paranoia will creep over into all aspect of your life together unless she is made to confront her fears.
You know Jillian this has nothing to do with scare tactics or valid concerns or her being paranoid like a lot have said, this is just part of the on going battles between you wanting to dress and her wanting you to stop........me and a lots of other Cd's are going through this now and it is not going to just go away.
It is funny when you come out it is OK but as time pass buy you start to hear those insults and the fights over you dressing and if something is not done then the family will fall apart, there is no professional or therapist that is going to help you and I say that because you and only you can make that choice to stop dressing or keep dressing.
I am not sure if you have any kids....... I have two and it got to the point that there was just to much fighting name calling going on in the house so I had to make that choice and it has been two months since I have dress........hell I even grown a beard am I happy with my choice........will the fighting and name call has stop and she is very good to me and happier and I can see that the kids are doing better so I have to say yes.
LA CINDY LOVE
I agree with latindancer's interpretation.
It must be very similar to my ex-wife's behaviour, who was a pure devil !
Very sad, but be prepared to a conflicting divorce.
let me get this straight---your wife thinks you have a lover because you farted? hmmm in my experience the unrestrained breaking of wind results in no lovers---nothing sexy or romantic about it--at least to me--lol
[SIZE="4"][/SIZE]
I say, if you love her, let her rant. Then put it out of your mind. No fighting.
That is, if your able to listen and not be hurt.
I let my wife rant when she needs to. No skin off my nose.
DonnaT
I am truly amazed at the number of psychiatrists, marriage counsellors, and mood analysers that tune in to this forum. Next time I have a problem with any of my frieeds family or acquaintances, this is where I'll come for some home-spun philosophy on life. Meanwhile, I'm off to get one.
What is so sad about these type of generalizations id that they are for the most part not accurate and based on what I would call the perfect person. A few weeks back I was doing a web search for some photos and I found a few pictures of some women where one of them had very masculine features however she was all woman! I have seen men who if they are cd's would look like a woman and in mot cases the ones I have seen do, I know of one man who was not a CD who sounded like a woman.
I used to spend time reading these generalizations and they kept me in the house for years until I decided to study for myself and found out that in most cases allot of what we read in not correct and is designed to create fear.
Sarah is right on the money. May I add though, as rocky as the relationship seems, has your wife expressed exactly what she is afraid of in your dressing? Does she fear loss of social status if you are clocked? Does she fear that dressing is a gateway to gay and that she lacks the power to "win" that "battle"? Does she fear that you will look better?
There is nothing wrong about being wrong for each other, but at one point it all seemed right. And that is worth talking, struggling and even fighting for. To a point. But it requires communication.
Perhaps professional help is the way to go.
Very best wishes to you...
Blogging like a woman possessed at Voyages en Rose.
Happy dressing, and happy everything else! Petra
The power of a woman's intuition is limitless! Whether farting or scratching one's nether regions, she can always tell what you're really up to...
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