Smile, don't nod...

[Cassia-Marie]

I had lunch yesterday (in drab, unfortunately, since I was coming from work) with three LOVELY ladies I met on this forum. They were so sweet and gave me TONS of great advice and encouragement. There were several things I had heard before and read about here (but it absolutely never hurts, and is always appreciated, to hear them time-and-time again!) but there was one that I had never heard before:

"Always smile, don't nod. Guys nod. Women just smile."

I have spent a lot of time people-watching at public places and I had never noticed this difference until it was pointed out to me yesterday. And sure enough, as soon as I got to work today, I caught myself nodding a friendly "good morning" to my co-workers. I'M A NODDER! So I have yet another habit to break before I go out in public en femme.

It's such a small detail and it got me thinking about what else I need to be mindful of. What other small details should I be looking out for?

[JoAnne Wheeler]

GOOD ADVICE - I will always remember that
JoAnne Wheeler

[Sam-antha]

Don't grin, smile

~Samm

[TommiTN]

Our male habits are so hard to break sometimes, especially if we need to maintain a male persona for whatever reasons.

"It's such a small detail and it got me thinking about what else I need to be mindful of. What other small details should I be looking out for?"

Obviously be mindful of your walk. I do OK in heels because they practically force you to take smaller steps but I catch myself walking like a guy sometimes if I'm wearing flats. Keep your arms closer to your hips than you proabably do in guy mode and turn your hands out slightly. Also, GGs use hand gestures and facial expressions in conversation much more than men do. When you sit perch on the surface rather than just plopping down on it the way guys do and be sure to keep your knees together even if you're wearing pants. There a zillion other little things that we can pick up by observation and there are some CDs on feminine deportment available. Obviously the secret is to observe, pratice and internalize. Critiques by other more practiced sisters such as you got are also a great help.

"How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice! Practice!" (apologies to Henny Youngman)

[Karren H]

Yeah!! Its amazing how women smile and when they smile.. Took me a long time to master that (mistress that?). But once I did.. I can't stop smiling... When a local CD friend met me for the first time last summer... He walked right up to me in public.. I asked how did you recognize me in drab... "The smile"

[JulieK1980]

I never thought about that before, and I think I nod. Hmm I'm thinking I should work on that...

[Kelsy]

OMG I'm a nodder!!!! I have observed the GGs and they always smile it is always so sweet. I'll have to correct my abhorant habit!! have you observed how men and women differ when they stand when it's a bit chilly outside!!? women stand legs clamped together with their arms folded under their breasts. and men stand with hands in pockets kind of slouchy!!
check it out

Kelsy

[Cassia-Marie]

have you observed how men and women differ when they stand when it's a bit chilly outside!!? women stand legs clamped together with their arms folded under their breasts. and men stand with hands in pockets kind of slouchy!!

You're right! Good observation! Although so far I don't have to worry about that because I only own skirts but I'm on the prowl for a good pair of jeans. Yes, I can just see me stuffing my hands in my pockets and nodding at everyone!

[Lorileah]

Great now I have to amend all my posts where I said "just smile and nod" when confronted. SO I suppose spitting on the sidewalk is out too?

[jackie_p]

Great now I have to amend all my posts where I said "just smile and nod" when confronted. SO I suppose spitting on the sidewalk is out too?

Yeah, and ...AHEM... scratching certain areas too...LOL!


Smile and wave, boys....Smile and wave!
Jackie

[jazmine]

Your right! I always knew this, but never really stopped and thought about it. I never had a woman nod to me. I have to stop nodding!

[linnea]

Thank you (I wrote with a smile rather than a nod) for this nice little tidbit of advice. I'm going to work on it because I'm a nodder too.

[NatalieBliss]

Great now I have to amend all my posts where I said "just smile and nod" when confronted. SO I suppose spitting on the sidewalk is out too?

the female version of the "smile and nod" is "smile and tilt"

[deja true]

Yeah! The nod is a hold over from when men always bowed to women or superiors. You'll note that when you greet your boss or your minister, you usually nod, but they dont. They know that they're socially above you. If they do nod to you, its in a patronizing way.

Good observation, Cassia. Thank your friends!

[Mirani]

Another male habit .. apparently ...

In the car at traffic lights, a man will pick his nose! . . you never see a lady picking her nose!

[TxKimberly]

Hmmm . . . never noticed that the nodding was male thing. That women smile in greeting, yes, that men nod, nope - hadn't caught that.

[Angel.Marie76]

Ugh.. I had read somewhere else that nodding was a 'tell-tale' giveaway. Yeah, I'm a nodder to. I've actually been TRYING not to, and I keep catching myself. The smiling, goodness, I need endless practice. I have been changing my wave, greeting, and been working on smiling as much as I remember, but it just seems like every significant smile feels too forced... *shrug*

[Sam-antha]

When I was a young girl, the given way of picking things off the ground was a must to know.
Get alongside of the thing, bend at the kness and reach down for the thing that you wish to pick up.
Sounds like a man thing...... it is the way of old men if you bend forwards. Keep the thing at your side

~Samm

[Tracii G]

Great tips thanks.

[Kim_Bitzflick]

I never thought about this. I'll have to pay attention & see if I'm a nodder.

[Angie G]

There are so many thing we do as men that we don't think about. How we walk, stand, Arm placement, how we sit plus others it's hard to get them all girly.
Angie

[FoxyFriend]

Please remember that as GGs we have been doing this all of our lives, and we still get it wrong sometimes. I think that the best way to smile is to remember that you are out there dressed and proud and a very natural little smirk may appear that makes your eyes twinkle as well.

[Lorileah]

Another male habit .. apparently ...

In the car at traffic lights, a man will pick his nose! . . you never see a lady picking her nose!

no but I did see one putting on pantyhose you never see a man doing that

[GINA-CD]

This is sooo true... felt stupid when I found myself nodding while reading this post...

I know I smile when I read most of Karren's posts though....

[Persephone]

It takes a lot of time and work to undo the nodding thing.

Also important, women almost always smile when they make eye contact, even accidental eye contact, with other women, but almost never smile at a man (One of my GG friends said, "Of course not! Smile at a man and he thinks its a come-on.").

Here's one for you -- men tend to wash their hands by interlacing their fingers, women seem to mostly wash with their fingers closed, as if washing with mittens on.