Danger at being dressed at Home...

[Shikyo]

It has been a while since this happened to me, but I thought I should share it with everyone. In it all danger, it's kinda funny(especially now after a while, it was not so much fun when it first happened).

Like usual, I'm dressed at home wearing a miniskirt and a fitting top. We are watching little TV before going to bed, but suddenly we start to smell some smoke. First we thought it'd be my computer's PSU that would be breaking again. Nevertheless, we started looking for the reason. Soon we realized, there were at least three firetrucks, police and ambulance just outside our high rise building. The shock is there, the house's on fire.
This happening in the middle of the winter, we had to get some jackets, but that's all we had time for. We run to the door, me still dressed under the jacket. I open the door, the whole floor is full with smoke; I can see two firemen and I hear them shouting something to me: Get back inside and close your door as good as you can.

First thing I do, is to change to more male looking cloths, and warmer cloths, when we got back inside. After that we were being very cautious about everything - after a while the fireman rings the door bell and asks if everything was alright.

I can't believe how close it was, that I would have to go outside while dressed, probably end up getting seen by my mother as well. Everything was so close, but I was saved, just because instead of guiding us out of the apartment he told us to get back inside...

[Nadia-Maria]

Danger helps us to relativize and prioritize.

I have been a highly fearful child and teenager, and for most of my life I have beeen trying to overcome my fears. Becoming a solo alpinist has helped me a lot to relativize my fears.

Now, when I go out "semifemme" (what I rate as more "difficult" than going out femme) I find it much easier than risking her own life in the mountains.

Hence I hope for you that having known the fear of the fire will soon help you to come out to your close related ones. It not so risky than being taken by the fire !!

[Shikyo]

It was not so much the fear of fire, but the surprise that it brought with it. The day was going on normally, my last day of vacation before the works started again and something like that happens.

Nor is this the first time I've been in danger of losing my life, in the end this is rather small compared to what I've gone through before.

The main reason for me not coming out to my relatives, my wife does know everything, is that I feel it is not their business. It's not like I'm hiding anything from my relatives, I'm just not saying anything out loud. If they were to ask, I'd tell them the truth.
It's just that my relatives can be rather noisy about somethings and I really do not feel like giving them one more reason to nag about. My dad nags me more than enough about my plans to move the U.S.A., my mom is not that bad, but she also keeps asking about it, at least she's being way more friendly about it.

[JulieK1980]

About 3 years ago, I was on my way to a gay bar that was T friendly. I was fully dressed for the second time out of my home. While coming to an intersection, the car going the other way jumped the light and I T-boned them at about 50 MPH. Needless to say I was knocked unconsious from the airbag. When I came to, I was in the back of an ambulance, with two EMT's staring down at me. After a few minutes one of them handed me my male clothes and winked, (this is when I realized I was dressed as a woman) I just about hit the roof in shock! I quickly changed back into my clothes and thankfully I wasn't hurt short of a small concussion. After I refused to go to the ER one of the police approached me noticing the Department of Defense sticker on the windshield of my car, he asked me a few of the normal questions; had I been drinking, and what happened. After the report was finished he mentioned he'd leave my appearance out of the report and I waited by the side of the road for my wife to pick me up. Thank god that no one in the other car was hurt either, but to this day it blows my mind how much the police and EMT's looked out for me. But it goes to show, everytime you leave the house or even stay in the house you have to understand the risks involved, but sometimes people will surprize you, and will just amaze you with their helpfullness and understanding.

[Sara Jessica]

Shikyo, you are very fortunate this incident turned out ok, so glad no one was hurt and your home wasn't damaged.

...but to this day it blows my mind how much the police and EMT's looked out for me.

What a story Jody, it amazes me as well but on the other hand, should we be surprised when people behave as the professionals they are trained to be? They did their job in a non-judgemental manner. Makes me wonder if there is even a 10 minute blurb in some sort of ethics/community/sensitivity training session in which tg issues are mentioned.

[Shikyo]

Shikyo, you are very fortunate this incident turned out ok, so glad no one was hurt and your home wasn't damaged.

We are very happy that nothing happened, at least nothing serious. From what I've found out, it seems it was an fire on the second floor, at the other end of the building. The fire started in the bathroom, the washing machine started the fire. My guess is that the firemen got the fire under control, so the only real danger was the smoke instead of the fire.
Especially, as I do not own this apartment, so I'm happy I do not have to hassle with insurance or anything. The only damage done to this apartment was the smell of smoke, which was in the air for few days.

From my observation, the damage in the apartment that burned, was still rather large. They've been throwing a lot stuff away etc. Anyway, they should have had only some material damage, no life's lost or anything.

Jody, you really had luck in that incident. But I definitely agree, the way people behave is hard to tell before hand.

[KarenS]

You girls have certainly had some incredible experiences. Some I have feared about for quite some time. The fact of the matter is that some of us have other fears we find to be more of a 1) potential reality and 2) have significant risk as well. For me, it is fear of rejection, humiliation, loss of job, being made an outcast, socially labeled and discriminated against by people (including loved ones) that simply have no clue what we are about. The probability of being outed by a careless mistake, poor timing, having my stash found, etc. are statistically far greater that a car accident or a dwelling fire. And, there can truly be significant personal consequence.

Shikyo, that must have been a horible experience as it unfolded. House fires are something I definately fear. I have had four co-workers in five years that have lost their homes to fires (very large company). Those were terrible experiences - their homes were each comepletely destroyed.

Jody, everytime I leave the house dressed or even underdressed, I think about and fear what you experienced.

I clearly understand the need to come out. But weighing the risk and benefit is something that each person must do on their own.

My wife knows, but is not too accepting. Beyond that, I can't bring myself to tell the rest of my family or friends yet. Co-workers, Haaah. Likely not in this decade or the next unless discovered in the next background security re-screening.

Logically, you are 100% correct I agree. But when it comes to human emotion, and defense of who we perceive we are in the eyes of others, logic many times loses out to the perceived risk factors that are tied to our emotions.

I admire those that have the fortitude to come out. I truely do.

For now, I'm keeping the closet door closed.

{Gosh it's crowded in here.}

[Angie G]

I would think that would make you think Oh s%^t I'm about to get busted. Glad you safe and the fire wasn't a bad one.
Angie

[suzy]

WHEW! Those were a couple of close calls for both of you. I have been fortunate the worst thing that happened to me (so far) was a couple of unannounced visitors at the front door sent me scrambling for my male clothes! One was my mother and the other was Fed Ex driver leaving a package. My wife covered for me with my mother simply stating that I was in the shower and got the package from Fed Ex. Mom got her business done without me and left. But.... I'm sure sooner or later.....

[TxKimberly]

Way back in the late 90's, when I was just starting to take tentative steps out into the real world, a Tgirlfriend and I had returned to my hotel after an evening out. We were sitting in the room chatting and sharing stories when the hotel fire alarm went off! Neither of us were terribly confident and were mortified when we entered the hallway to find it full of people evacuating. Funny thing is, it was silly little things like that that made me as confident as I am now. It forced me out the door where I discovered that no one cared and the world went on.
I think it rocks that the emergency responders looked out for you - very thoughtful. While I know there are exceptions, I imagine that most people in jobs like that are there because on some level they honestly care about people.

[susan2010]

Once I was alone in the house doing some carpenter work while wearing a slip(?!). The stool I was standing on slid and I ended up on the floor, hoping I didn't break anything. I was okay (just some bruises), but I realize I could have been found dead or unconscious like that.

[PretzelGirl]

What a story Jody, it amazes me as well but on the other hand, should we be surprised when people behave as the professionals they are trained to be? They did their job in a non-judgemental manner. Makes me wonder if there is even a 10 minute blurb in some sort of ethics/community/sensitivity training session in which tg issues are mentioned.

I would take it a step further. I don't necessarily think they are trained on this. Their priorities are health and safety. I think it was just good old humanity that they looked out for you. And it isn't surprising that people like that gravitated to jobs like police officers and EMTs.

[Lorileah]

Karen, I love the "way back in the late 90s'" I have shoes older than that...Now i know I am an old queen

Originally I was concerned about being "outed" accidentally and losing what status I had in the community. Luckily I guess I am a little fish in a big pond and I can get out on the rare occasions that I have time. No one would know me if they saw me anyway.

I have been "under dressed" when I have seen my doctor but I knew she would be supportive, even asking if I wanted to transition. I have been driving and had people ask directions. I just figure that in general most people have their own agenda and don't care. This of course does not apply to family and while I have told many family members I still would be afraid my dad would catch me someday.

[Jenny Doolittle]

This post is to Sara about training........Yes there is a 4 hour section in training for Police regarding "Caultural Sensativity" And after retiring I can say, they have pretty much seen it all..

[Shikyo]

I would think that would make you think Oh s%^t I'm about to get busted. Glad you safe and the fire wasn't a bad one.
Angie

Yeah, that was one of my first thoughts after I realized what was going on. In fact, I thought if I should change cloths first, but at least I did the right thing: try to leave the burning building.

Seriously, I'm waiting curiously what's the next "incident" going to be for me. My list is already rather nice: Almost cut of my finger, hit myself accidentally with an axe, drowned in water...

[Sara Jessica]

I would take it a step further. I don't necessarily think they are trained on this. Their priorities are health and safety. I think it was just good old humanity that they looked out for you. And it isn't surprising that people like that gravitated to jobs like police officers and EMTs.

No, I disagree...

This post is to Sara about training........Yes there is a 4 hour section in training for Police regarding "Caultural Sensativity" And after retiring I can say, they have pretty much seen it all..

...exactly what I was talking about. Pretty much any organization which deals with the public at large has some sort of sensitivity training as part of their requirements. Even many corporations do so under the guise of diversity training. So Jenny, thank you for confirming this from the law enforcement perspective. But this is why I suggested they likely gloss over the tg thing in a rather short period of time, probably more of a footnote in the overall curriculum if it is even mentioned at all. Either way, I agree that they've likely seen it all.

[PretzelGirl]

No, I disagree...

I was looking at it as there is a difference between going through sensitivity training and conforming to it and going out of your way to be "human". The EMT and officer in this case seemed to be going the extra mile. Kudos for them as I don't think you will get it from all of them.

[sandra-leigh]

We were sitting in the room chatting and sharing stories when the hotel fire alarm went off! Neither of us were terribly confident and were mortified when we entered the hallway to find it full of people evacuating. Funny thing is, it was silly little things like that that made me as confident as I am now. It forced me out the door where I discovered that no one cared and the world went on.

About a year ago, at the Edmonton Winterfest 08 gathering, we were in the middle of the Saturday formal in the hotel multipurpose room (in the basement) when some drunken nabobs pulled the fire alarm! So of course we went out -- possibly the first time "outside" for some of the people. The hotel night manageress, who was doing duty as our barman, was spitting mad, and went over to confront the nabobs (they'd caught the incident on the video system, I gather); about five of the group went to back her up, in full dress. And we got pictures of everything, including poses of various people in front of the fire-trucks.

It was a nuisance (it was, after all, Canadian winter!), but the only person who was really upset was the manageress, who by that time had become quite fond of us, and no-one was going to mess with "her girls" on her watch!

[Kerrylee61]

Shikyo, you are very fortunate this incident turned out ok, so glad no one was hurt and your home wasn't damaged.



What a story Jody, it amazes me as well but on the other hand, should we be surprised when people behave as the professionals they are trained to be? They did their job in a non-judgemental manner. Makes me wonder if there is even a 10 minute blurb in some sort of ethics/community/sensitivity training session in which tg issues are mentioned.

Spent 30 years in the EMS business and yes, the subject is dealt with in the training quite well. My only other comment relates to the fact that when you work in the world of Emergency Services be it Police, Fire, Medical, Trauma etc. you eventually have seen it all so to speak and always maintain a professional distance and approach to all those you are there to help.

Kerry

[Rachel Morley]

I guess there is a small risk in all that we do in life and being a crossdresser is no different. I agree that dressing at home increases the chances of some rare circumstance having a bigger negative consequence and maybe outing you if you are dressed but I don't think it's "dangerous".

It's a bit like under-dressing and going out like it, but then having an accident that requires you to go to the ER and be undressed. The risk is there, but it's minimal and of course, it goes with the territory.

[susanCD123]

Shikyo, I have to laugh a little at the irony. Just imagine me, the big tough macho firefighter for 20 years, wearing panties and bra under my bunker gear. I would be happy to carry you to safety any day, I would have been respectful of you, and maybe asked for you phone number discretly!

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Danger - vistors at the door - wife in the driveway - UPS man at the door - fire alarm goes off - We all have these I guess - its makes you take extra precautions when we dress - unless you don't really care whether you get caught or not.
JoAnne Wheeler

[Paulette]

Recently I was out of town by about 200 miles and underdressed wearing a pair of Honey Dew ruffled panties, non-structured soft cup bra, and a cotton Hanes womens tank when I got violently ill. I had checked out of my hotel and there was no way to get changed the way I was feeling. I went to my health providers local facility thinking that they would just give me something to stop the vomiting and I would be on my way. Well you quessed it a complete exam down to the undies was performed as well as a shot to stop the vomiting and an IV to replace the fluids and only then was I on my way. I did not know the docotor and quite frankly did not care who was seeing my panties and bra at that point. Nothing was said and in fact the doctor and the nurse both just did thier jobs with out a comment about what I was wearing under my drab clothes. They treated me very nice and showed a great amount of concern for my health and well being.

[JulieK1980]

Spent 30 years in the EMS business and yes, the subject is dealt with in the training quite well. My only other comment relates to the fact that when you work in the world of Emergency Services be it Police, Fire, Medical, Trauma etc. you eventually have seen it all so to speak and always maintain a professional distance and approach to all those you are there to help.

Kerry

Very true, I worked in healthcare in the military and even there we went through cultural, and ethical sensitivity training. Although, the part that really blew me away was the EMT's having the forethought to grab my male clothes out of my wrecked car for me, and the police officer (knowing full well I was military) knew enough to leave it out of the report (these I had to turn in to my chain of command after the accident, which would have landed me an administrative discharge) Its that extra step that really made the difference to me. I expect any trained professionals to not bat an eye at something like that, as others have said after a while they have seen it all and probably much worse.

[cd_britney_426]

As much as many of us wish to remain anonymous about our CDing because we are not yet comfortable coming out to certain people, we must understand that there are risks that could inadvertantly expose us. Obviously a fire is one example. Another is with traffic. So far I have only dressed up to go out to TG-friendly clubs but that doesn't mean that something couldn't force a change of plans. An accident is something we don't plan on but can happen. Your car could stall out as well and you might have to get a tow truck and wait on the side of the road with everyone looking. I had some auto problems which caused mine to stall out twice on the way to the club but I was always able to get it moving again. You may realize you forgot to get gas and have to stop at the station in your femme clothes. There is also always the chance of getting stopped by the police for whatever reason and you would have to interact with them as your girl self. So as much as we prefer to be closeted at times we have to be prepared for the possibility of being exposed. Britney