Out to a friend who didn't freak out

[KarenS]

I’ve been dwelling on the advice of many of you for a number of weeks. Yesterday, I decided I needed to muster some fortitude and do something to test the metal of my courage.

I was out doing some errands and decided to call a college friend that I still keep in close contact with. We talked for awhile and then I told her I wanted to share something with her that I had not openly shared with anyone else. I told her I was a CD.

She was very supportive and encouraging. We talked, and talked. We talked about what I get out of dressing, how it fits with my spiritual life, what type of clothes I like, where I dress, and how often. She wanted to know how many years I have been dressing – if this was something new or something that resurfaced. When I told her I have been doing this for more than forty years, she instantly knew it has been a part of me nearly all my life and really didn’t change the person she knew – it simply was a part of who I was. We talked for more than two hours and a second call later for nearly 45 minutes. I sent her a couple links to my profiles. I’m sure her husband was curious why she was on the phone for so long.

She offered to help me with some pointers for makeup including help learn to put it on. She offered some sources and tips for reasonably priced clothes and fashions. She even offered to go out after a makeover with me including to shop – en-femme. It meant a lot to me for her to offer that.

After viewing my neanderthal photos, she sent me an email with about twenty links to clothing suggestions and even made a suggestion for jewelry.
She thinks my wife would be pretty freaked out if she saw the pictures I shared with her via the Flickr, yahoo 360, and Windows Live spaces. (I suppose I should consider changing them before discussing any further with my wife.) Though comepletely sober, I felt a bit inebriated over the ability to share it all with an old friend – especially to discover how accepting she was.

Apparently I miss-judged her – un-doubtedly like I have so many others.

[Kelli Michelle]

I am so glad that it went so well. I told someone recently (my sister) who seemed ok with it as well. We have been talking, and she has been supportive. Today, she said she wasn't all THAT ok with it, though. She didn't understand, that it was hard to see me as female, etc. But, she was willing to learn more so I too am going to send some links. She said that even though she wasn't all ok with it, she still loved me and would be there when I needed her. So i can relate to what you felt. It's a good feeling. My wife does know and she DID freak out, and it's been a battle since then. But....it's great to get some support. We all need some of that.

[Melora]

WOW!!
What a Verry Great Friend that You have!!
Keep her close Always...
She is Rare
And love her as a friend!
Good Trust is a Rare thing too, outside of marraige!

I Love stories like this!!
Katie

[DAVIDA]

Telling friends can be great, but, if your wife doesn't know, don't you think she should know before friends?

[Melora]

Another Great point DAVIDA, Which seems to be the BANE of soo MANY of Us..

[Nicole Erin]

YOu just never know where acceptance will come from.
Thing is also if someone knew and liked you before learning of this, they are probably not going to turn against you after learning of it, you are still going to be their friend

[JoAnne Wheeler]

I feel like I want to tell someone, other than my Spouse, but I am reluctant to because once its out - ITS OUT - and you can't take it back
JoAnne Wheeler

[StacyCD]

Unless you are sure that your wife will be 100% non-accepting, I suggest you tell her. If she finds out that you are out to a girl friend (even one that is married), I believe you will be in even more trouble!

[Jennifer Marie P.]

Thats a good friend you have there and a sistertoo.

[Katrina red nails]

That is a good friend to have.

As a (related) side issue most people's "accepting" friends seem to be female. Very few instances of male friends knowing/accepting/supporting.

[Teri Jean]

Karen,
I did something simular, I work for a university and came out to a co-worker gal who is and has been a friend for over 20 years. We shared a very simular conversation. Way to go and when your feet hit the ground go for the day out shopping and all. Huggs Keli