Are we scared to meet other CD's

[renee k]

Denise, Over the last 10 years of going out, I have met and socialized with literally hundreds of other cd's. I routinely go out to straight venues with other cd's. I have some cd's that I really enjoy their company. There are others that I want nothing to do with. My feelings have nothing to do with how they look when they go out. My feelings are based on who they are as a human being. I like to hang out with good people. I like to stay away from jerks.

If you have trouble going out and meeting other cd's, it is your own inner feelings and fears that are holding you back.

I know there are others on this board that have no problem meeting other cd's. I have socialized with some of them and enjoyed their company.

Jodi

I totally agree with Jodi, and have done many of the same things she has with other cd's. If they're good people, and we get along. That's all the better. I try and stay away from the jerks. I generally like to meet them in drab first, I think that takes some of apprehension out of meeting someone. I have met many girls from this forum and other venues. So far they've all been really nice people and I enjoyed their company.

Huggs, Renee

[Tomara]

Hi , Good Topic

I would like to meet and be friends with other cross dressers in my area , the problem for me is that I am not passable at all and my impression is that most of the people who go out want to do so as a passable female .
It would be great to just be friends and not have to worry about looks and passing.

Tomara

[Cathytg]

I find myself reluctant to meet other CDers also. I wonder why that is. Maybe I am not as comfortable with myself as I think I am.

[PretzelGirl]

I had recently "met" someone on this board through PMs and we thought it would be great to meet. I hadn't told my wife that I was reading this board and it was high on my list as I don't hold anything back from her.

So first things first. I then broached the subject of what if I could meet anyone from the board? I do travel so it would also be possible for any of the locations that I go to. Unfortunately, she was not keen on the idea and it became one of her boundaries. She is very supportive and lets me run amock, so I accept all her boundaries.

So for now, there will be no meeting anyone outside of the board. Things may change later as sometimes time makes us more comfortable with things.

[MsJanessa]

I've met literally dozens of CDs, usually from the internet, in real life face to face meetings---most of them have been fine and some have led to lasting friendships--I also understand the reluctance of some of the girls not to meet other TGs--either too shy, scared etc or don't feel the need---

BUT the thing that really upsets Me and is extremely annoying are those people TG and otherwise who call and e-mail Me, saying over and over again how much they would like to meet Me, after talking, emailing and reviewing My profiles, both here and elsewhere, then never show up after they have made a date and I have gone to considerable trouble and effort to set things up---many don't even bother to contact Me to cancel and those that do have some halfbaked excuse for calling it off at the last minute(a classic one was "My great aunt is quite ill and she might die so I might have to go to the funeral"---

I understand that what a lot of you girls do out there is fantasy but PLEASE don't make a commitment to meet unless you really intend and DO follow through on it.-- The behavior of those of you who make dates and then are no-shows is unexcusable--it make Me think you are just a wannebe sitting in front a screen playing with yourself. There My rant is over

[MsJanessa]

True, some who you meet are after a roll in the hay. If that's not your bag, you gotta speak out. There are many kinky crossdressers out there. If you're not one, let them know. They may not be kinky either. Either way, there's no tension.

ditto

[slamddoger]

in small towen i dont think that there would be anthone out there

[TxKimberly]

Nope, I've pretty much made it a hobby to meet others when I travel. I've met probably around a dozen from this forum alone.

[bonniebma]

I enjoy meeting other CD's. It's always nice to know that you are not alone!

[barbara f.]

i would like to meet other cd's but i have no idea of going about it. i would like to ask a question of some of you cd's that have met other cd's. when you do meet do you act and talk like women? thanks, barbara

[TxKimberly]

i would like to meet other cd's but i have no idea of going about it. i would like to ask a question of some of you cd's that have met other cd's. when you do meet do you act and talk like women? thanks, barbara

When I am out and dressed, I always try to act like a lady - doesn't matter who I am meeting or what I am doing. As for the TG's I have met, it depends upon them - I've met some who were at both extremes.

[Rayne1]

I think it would be nice to share things with other cds, but I would want this to be as friends and nothing more. As a new member I would like to occasionaly meet with others to talk about our lives and any concerns.

[Emily Anderson]

I would really like to but is there something in the back of our minds that say NO that's wrong. It's not like I an real new here 400 posts BUT is it possible that the fear of the unknown or being considered GAY if you dress and go out with another CD stopping us from meeting. anybody feel like this ???

Denise,

I can only speak for myself in this regard, and I can only say this: I'm predominantly attracted to the female species, and all that is feminine. However, I'm also attracted to CD/TV/TG/TS folks, but only if they act like normal human beings. What do I mean by normal? Well, people that can function in society, enjoy life, and get on with being themselves...

[msginaadoll]

I am a new member from Michigan. I do love meeting other cds like myself. Usually I meet at places like Gigis or Rainbow Room, which are gay/lesbian/bi clubs. These seem like a safe place where we are in a secure environment. Only recently have I been meeting others through Groups like Crossroads and Affirmations. Its been a big step for me going out to local restaurants and to other houses for meetings. I would so love to go out with another cds for shopping or even coffee. It is not important that the other people look passible just that they try to be as apropriate for the situation we are in. If that makes any sense. When I go out I try to present myself as a female or at least feminine and would expect that of the other ladies. Gina

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

I replied to this thread a couple weeks ago (post #50). Since, I've had a good discussion with my wife about this subject.

I have a very strong desire to meet someone like myself - a cd who's personal interest in it is very close to my own interest. It's been very liberating to be able to chat with everyone online, but I really want to meet someone like me. I've been alone in this my whole life - even though my wife knows, is supportive and loves me just as I am.

In chatting with my wife, I realized that as much as I want to meet another cd in person, I'm really not ready to.

In my previous post, I indicated that I would only meet in drab, at least at first. Mainly because I'm not comfortable going out en femme because I don't pass and that could be dangerous for me.

But, going out in my male form, puts me at risk of being outed. Pass or not, when I'm Gabrielle, I don't look a damn thing like my man-self. Not even close. So my true identity can remain somewhat hidden. But to expose myself in my male form is something I'm not ready to do yet.

I can't help but wonder what might be going through the other person's head. As much as I like to believe that they're as caring and considerate a person as I am, what if they're not? What if meeting goes sour? What if our friendship goes south long after meeting, and my man-face is now known and maybe even caught with a camera phone?

I honestly believe the chances for things to go wrong in meeting a fellow cd (with whom I have spoken to in great detail before ever meeting up with) are very minimal. But I have to consider the unlikely, but devastating outcome of a meeting gone wrong. I could loose my job, my home, perhaps even my life. I don't exactly live in a cd-friendly area.

I imagine the day will come when I am more comfortable meeting up with a cd in person. Perhaps when I can get Gabrielle a little closer to passable, and feel a little more comfortable with the potential for being outed.

I beat this drum all the time, but I truly blame society for my own fears in meeting someone like myself. If most of society didn't have crossdressers pegged as perverted deviants, there would be very, very little to fear in a meeting. So long as both parties know exactly why they are meeting, not as much can go wrong without the potential for being outed in the pool of possibilities.

Does anyone else feel similar and agree with this?

[Jo-Michelle]

I read this post and given a lot of thought to the subject.
First, I'd love to meet another CD'er such as myself. I love being with other people I share a common interest in and with. How to go about meeting others seems to be the biggest issue. I'm not into clubing. Forums such as this one are a possibility, but I think it takes a long time to getting around meeting others off forums.
I've only been in public a couple times and it was somewhat nerve racking. I want to be able to pass as a decent looking female. My facial features make that very difficult. Its something I can work on now that my wife knows and is willing to helpme with. Until that time I stay very low key.
I have to ask the question, if you were to meet another CD'er, would it really matter if you were dressed in fem or as a man? I almost think it may be more comfortable to meet as men to get to know each other, then meet in dress at a later date.
just my

[Nicki B]

I find it so sad to read of so much fear in many posts.

The strongest, deepest friendships you can make will be other transfolk, both M2F & F2M. - trust me on this?

[michellebesweet]

Not sure who to trust out there. I really have no CD freinds to go out with or meet with. I would hope that a lot of the groups that have formed in different areas are safe and have proven to be a great place to go and meet other CDers, but I have not been to any groups. I am just concerned, not scared.

[MsJanessa]

Not sure who to trust out there. I really have no CD freinds to go out with or meet with. I would hope that a lot of the groups that have formed in different areas are safe and have proven to be a great place to go and meet other CDers, but I have not been to any groups. I am just concerned, not scared.

Darling you live in New Orleans, the drag capitol of the South--I would love to live there== the folks are used to girls like Us and acceptance is way higher than other places. Now go out and meet some of the girls-- relax and have fun.

[Rosaliy Lynne]

As to the sex thing, one has to be careful what signals they are sending as well as receiving. Be careful and sure of the impression you are making. Also be reasonably certain of what the other seems to want and, if you don't want that too, divert the course or drop out altogether. It helps to have friends of course. <grin>

[Rosaliy Lynne]

hear hear! Going out as a public girl was a huge step for me but one that turned out very well indeed. Actually I probably broke all the rules - or most of them. First I went out alone and to a 'gay bar'. Well I had been there the night before in drab to check the place out and the cd/tg bartender made me feel safe and relaxed. I only went the first time because I was supposed to meet another cd but she had out of town company drop in unexpectedly. The night was Sept 15, 2005. It was also the first time I introduced myself as Rosaliy. You don't forget something that good.

[goofus]

In my experience, yes, many CD's are scared to meet other CD's (including ones on this forum, you know who you are )

[Rosaliy Lynne]

Don't be scared. Since my first 'coming out' I have been going out, cautiously at first, shopping, buying gas, etc. Each step out was successful and each success makes the next foray easier to attempt. Going out in femme is now second nature to me. Along the way I got involved with a Tri Ess group. This added a social element to my life and has made a great difference in my life. It also helps to be supportive as well as to recieve support.

By the way, Michelle, you are quite lovely. That attractiveness should help you making friends. And just as an aside here - friends increase your net worth in the only coin that really matters.

[allisonrn06]

While I would like very much to meet other cd's, I worry about it for reasons other than you mentioned - mainly the possibility of meeting someone who will out me deliberately or other wise.

[Anne G]

I would like to, just have to get up the nerve.