Do you ever see the woman you should have been?

[TGMarla]

We're all a little different. Some of us are crossdressers, others slide a bit further over on the bell curve. Some are transexual, others identify as transgendered. My user name here says TG because for me, it goes a bit further than just the clothes. Sure, the clothing is a huge part of it, but there's a part of me that always laments that I'm not a woman, and that part feels that that is what my life should have been. That's the TG part.

I've concluded that transition and surgery will not be the path I take in life. Accepting that has been the leading factor in my coming to grips with the whole transgendered thing, and has allowed me to have a whole lot more fun crossdressing. It is a huge weight to not have to carry.

I got new hair last weekend. It has been wonderful, too. The color is much closer to what my real hair is like, or was before the gray set in. The cut is very much to my taste as well, and it frames my face very well. But something strange happens when I wear it. Now when I look in the mirror, I see very much the woman I might have been had I had the fortune to have been born female. I feel like I'm seeing me the way I should really look, the way I'm supposed to look. Does this ever happen to any of you?

I really don't want to dredge any old issues within myself, and rekindle the horrible longing I used to deal with all the time so many years ago. I buried those problems, but I guess I didn't kill them. I think I need to confirm within myself that the choices I've made regarding my old gender issues are the correct ones, and embrace them firmly again, lest I cripple myself with TG issues once more.

Meanwhile, I sure feel pretty when I dress these days, and I'm really enjoying it.

[deja true]

I see her now, Marla, but I didn't used to. More correctly, I see the woman I would have probably grown in to.

And like you, after the years of confusion and then after the multiplicity of options became known to me...and mulled over long and hard, I was able to find a sort of peace and happiness and contentment in where I am just now.

But as the years go by and situations change, I'm still open to change myself. If it happens, great! If not, also great!

[lynette135]

Hey Kiddo
You look so great and I dont usualy post this type of thread ! But But But
You look so great in your photos and never think for one moment you are not a great classy dressing Lady thanks for being here for me !
As I to had to make the cut dah from tg ,because of my age health and what ever else where my issues !
Keep up the great fun time in your life ! A Lady Lives inside of you !
Hugs
Lynette

[KarenS]

You look beautiful as well Marla.

I often wonder what I would have looked like or how my personality would have been had I been born a GG. You know a week or so ago, there was a post about taking a pill that would permanently transorm you - I said I would take the one with the permanent transformation. I have thought a lot about the response I gave. Your post does strike a chord with me. I have too much invertment in this life as a guy. I'm not willing to give up the memories and relationships that the guy side of me has aquired. But, that doesn't quench the curiosity and occasional need to plunge into Narnia from high in the pink cloud.

I too concluded I was striving to appear like a woman of a supermodel fantasy rather than the realistic appearance I whould naturally assume had I been born a GG. Since I realized that, I have been seeking more conservative clothing, a more natural hair color to closer match my own. I am enjoying the femenine experience more as my natural self than the estreme and unatainable supermodel dream that I previously dreamed of obtaining.

I am enjoying who I am - as I am, in both guy and Karen mode.

[Eileen]

Marla you look great! Who knows where your feelings will take you. I never expected to be where I am today. Enjoy your journey where ever it takes you!

Eileen

[VeronicaMoonlit]

Sure, the clothing is a huge part of it, but there's a part of me that always laments that I'm not a woman, and that part feels that that is what my life should have been. That's the TG part.
But something strange happens when I wear it. Now when I look in the mirror, I see very much the woman I might have been had I had the fortune to have been born female. I feel like I'm seeing me the way I should really look, the way I'm supposed to look. Does this ever happen to any of you?

Yes, it has, a couple of times. Wish it happened more, but it doesn't, sigh.

I buried those problems, but I guess I didn't kill them.

I don't think we can kill them.

Meanwhile, I sure feel pretty when I dress these days, and I'm really enjoying it.

Yay! feeling pretty and happy is a good thing.

Veronica
Rondelle (Ron) Rogers Jr.

[vivianann]

Marla you look very much like a classy lady. I too consider myself a TG because I do not want SRS. I also wonder what kind of woman I would have been had I been born a Female, I have always liked feminine clothes, and the feminine image. When I dress up like a woman I feel like I belong, or complete. If I were a female at birth with the current mind that I have, I see my self as a modest dressing woman, I like knee length dresses or skirts, and 2" to 3" heels. I see my self as a somewhat buxom blonde. In some respects I wish I was born Female, but in other respects I am glad I was not born Female, the main reason I am glad I was born Male is because of my sexual attraction for women, it is the way I am wired, other wise if I were a Female I would be a lesbian. I am now very comfortable in my skin when I am dressed as a woman, and I very much enjoy my femininity. I want to dress 24/7 as a woman because for me it just feels right. Even though I do not see it, peaple who know me say that my personality really blossoms when I am dressed as a woman. Some of my friends prefer that I be Vivian.
Since I came out as Vivian to everybody, I feel I have gained a sense of freedom to be myself the way I prefer.

[Jenna1561]

Marla, you look great, love the hair and I wish you only the best this world has to offer. You seem to really know yourself and what challenges you. You think it through and conquer your challenges. BRAVO sister, bravo!

Hugs,

Jenna

[Melora]

Marla..
What a cool topic to revisit and one that never grows old..

All that I can say is that.. When I dress, I feel kinda like the Woman that I USED to be in a former life perhapse..
I am a man now.. I will probably stay that way, due to the dice that were rolled for my life as well as the others that were rolled with me..
I can Always Dream.. I am TG because sometimes I am Transgendered, Just like You..
But yet I accept the cards that were dealt to me as well and bet on them too! I Might even "Win" Maybe..!! Hehe..
Melora/Katie

[Lora Olivia]

Marla you look great and I know just where you are coming from. More and more as I look in the mirror I see that woman peeking back at me

[Jonianne]

Do you ever see the woman you should have been?

For me, I feel like I am somewhere between CD and TG. I have never had a strong feeling like I should have been female, but there are certain aspects that I so much wish I had, that a male rarely, if ever, has.

The primary as being seen as someone whom most of the world feels safe around. My daughter was in the Childrens hospital for about 8 days. I was there every day and I took notice that there were practicly no male nurses there. I saw 'one' the entire time I was there and I'm not sure if he was even a regular floor nurse there.

Like it or not, just being male almost always generates a feeling of initial mistrust or at least some uneasyness even when that male is involved in an occupation that is generally done by females. Even more when some male is behind you in a dark street at night.

I hate it that males are trapped with being perceived as a threat that way. I try to carry a sense of non-threatning persona as I possibly can as a male, but it makes no difference initially, at least in most cases.

When females see me and I sense they feel safe and relaxed with me and especially if they feel like I am someone who can relate to them, then I see myself as the "person" I am suppose to be. If I can do that as a male, then great.

But it would be so much easier if I were seen as female.

I guess even as a quiet and sensitive male, I still have to work twice as hard at it.

[Danni Kay]

We're all a little different. Some of us are crossdressers, others slide a bit further over on the bell curve. Some are transexual, others identify as transgendered. My user name here says TG because for me, it goes a bit further than just the clothes. Sure, the clothing is a huge part of it, but there's a part of me that always laments that I'm not a woman, and that part feels that that is what my life should have been. That's the TG part.

I feel as though I'm in the same boat as you. When I was younger I thought I may have been CD only, but my TS feelings have increased with age. As I let my hair grow out and pay more attention to feminine touches, I see the woman that I should have been more and more.

[Juanita O]

Marla

You always look great. The more i look in the mirror while i am dressed i see more and more of the female that i would have been. I am also transgender.

[Kate Simmons]

I used to think so Marla when I went out every weekend as Victoria and then Ericka. Now that the feelings are integrated, I don't see a man or a woman per se, only a person. I've concluded that this is the person I was meant to be--a sort of self made person, not one defined by society as "this or that".

[Angie G]

I've never seen that in a mirror as I could never look that good as a girl. although I'm told I look like my mother. But I dream of being beautiful.
Angie

[Sara Jessica]

It seems new hair can do that, helps to cross over the line to truly be able to see a woman in the mirror. It happened to me recently and I've written elsewhere about how the feeling transcends the tg experience. It is truly magical. Congrats for finding that place, you do look wonderful!!!

[JoAnne Wheeler]

YES --- I SAW HER and it scared me almost to death - I was at a political rally several years ago and I came face to face with a GG who had my face ! I thought maybe it was my twin. She did not say anything, but I was so stunned and could not get HER out of my mind even to this day

JoAnne Wheeler

[Sally24]

I know just what you mean. More and more now I can get close to that when I get ready to go out. Feeling really pretty and not just looking OK is a big part of that. This shot was taken last week in a rare high fashion makeup and I just feel this is the me "that could have been".

Jamie Austin with photoshop.jpg

[docrobbysherry]

Altho at one time, I fancied getting real breasts. And wondered what it would physically FEEL like being a GG, I have passed those thots and feelings by.

I have NEVER spent time imagining what my life would have been like if I had been born female. Quite frankly, a homely woman would have a difficult life!

I have spent my CD life, trying VERY HARD to look like a GG, that is nothing like me!

That may be as hard for u to understand, as it is for me trying to imagine my life as a GG from birth!

[DeniseNJ]

IMHO Hair is the MOST completeing factor of being a crossdresser. Yea I should talk with those $29.95 wigs from the discount store. But when you find the right one that fits your face, the right color and cut it is as if you stepped over the line of being a male in a dress to a female that feels great about their appearance. I know, I want a much better wig BUT I can't keep it on a head and kept it nice, I have to cram it in a bag for another day. Yes the mirrors don't lie, when it tells you <> Yep that's what you should look like it feels good!!!

[TGMarla]

Denise, I keep mine put away, too. It would be nice to have the luxury of keeping it on a wig stand, but I suspect that most of us don't. I paid a tidy sum for this one. I'm very careful when I store it, that's all. So if you don't like your hair, save up some bucks, get one you really like, and store it carefully.

[Rachel Morley]

.... when I look in the mirror, I see very much the woman I might have been had I had the fortune to have been born female. I feel like I'm seeing me the way I should really look, the way I'm supposed to look. Does this ever happen to any of you?

Yes it does, every time I put my wig on (I put my wig on last) when I'm getting dressed. I very much feel that you and I are on the same page when it comes to what we think about ourselves and being transgendered. I too will not be transitioning as I don't think I'm TS (also I have too much to lose). I might go nearly full time one day after retirement but for now, like you, I've very happy with the way things are and I get to live out "how life might have been" often!