Your feminine side

[curse within]

I would like to ask about your fem side......Please no need to share if you feel I am out of line..

I am asking because I don't feel I have one or I have never allowed myself to express it if I do have one..Or could it be a weak hint of one? (Is this clear enough for you beenherelongtime)..

Do you feel having a feminine side is what causes you to dress? The urge of having a fem side to express herself .. Now most of us say we are happy being a male and stats agree with that statement, I hear a lot in here that most are happy accepting both sides male/female I can understand but not relate..

So you are asking by now C.W. what is the point of this post?

I am just curious, if you do have a feminine side and it is the cause or reason in your dressing...Does the feminine side come with a female personality? or EGO.. Do you wish all male features to disappear do you feel these feelings all the time or is it intermitten?..

To be fair when I dressed , the desire was more to be in contact with feminine features the attraction of the clothing not so much being a female myself..

Thanks for reading

C.W.
I see a lot of folks choose a female name

[Crystal Alberta]

C.W.,

I don't now if I would describe it as having two "sides." I'm just me, and that includes having characteristics that might be defined as traditionally masculine alongside those that might be seen as more feminine. For example, I love the outdoors - hiking, camping, fishing, and generally getting dirty - but at the same time, I'm also interested in fashion and beauty, and I'd rather have a heart-to-heart conversation that watch a football game any day of the week. These different characteristics can overlap, too. I might be tramping through the bush, sweaty and muddy and enjoying myself thoroughly, but thinking all the while about a new dress.

Crossdressing is, among other things, a way to express on the outside who I am on the inside, but I don't see myself as a different person when dressed. I'm still me - just prettier!

Crystal

[Ballerina]

I am one of the MtF cders on here and do have that feminine side that must come out, but I do understand your feelings, too. Although I do see that it's a little more common for CDers to have that feminine side leak out, I do know that there are plain crossers out there, too. In example; I like to show my inner feelings along with my dressing, where-as there are others that just enjoy certain clothing, styles, or even the rush of the forbidden feelings.

[curse within]

Crystal,

Thanks for replying...Wow so expressing your feelings from the inside as just who you are..I think I am understanding this , hope I am.. Did you ever reject feeling this way or has there always been harmony? Does expressing the inside of you show in how you dress? In other words when you dress is it often , is it in taste or rarely and trashy?

I ask because I feel when someone dresses in taste ( my opinion ) it would express feeling more female than feminine.. I say it female or feminine because female meaning to feel like a lady.. Or feminine to feel the attraction that males desire from some females...

I hope I put that in a way it could be understood?

[Oddlee]

Well, I'm out to a few people, including an old girlfriend. I told her after we broke up (she remains a good friend, and until she found a new boyfriend she was a "friend with benefits"). It didn't matter to her how I was dressed, and she would say I was "such a male."

On the other hand, there are things I enjoy doing that are not thought of as typically male, such as shopping.

So, who knows? We're all just trying to find our place in the world...

Lee

[curse within]

Sally

Thanks you nailed it..I am just curious to why that is?


Oddlee, hell I even hate shopping , I have to get it done and out of the was as fast as I can...

Thanks for the replies

C.W.

[Rachell]

I have to agree with Crystal, not sure I have two sides. When in male mode I feel that my fem senses come out quite often through out the day. I can think like a female lets say when trying to pick out a color or item for the bedroom yet there is enough male sense there not to go way over board. Make sense? While dressed in my fem clothes I am a total women, but if I have to do some manly task while dressed for the wife its ok. So maybe I do have two sides but I only see it as one that can work together or seperate. When I first started dressing it was just the feel of the silky clothes but after being a member of this group I have come to understand that there is much more to cding then just the dressing.
Rachell

[Nicki B]

To be fair when I dressed , the desire was more to be in contact with feminine features the attraction of the clothing not so much being a female myself..

I think that many of us exhibit different forms of dysphoria - for some it's mostly about the image they see in the mirror - for others, it's about discomfort with the anatomy they were born with; and for more, it's about being treated either as a woman, or, NOT as a man..

And plenty of us exhibit some or all of those feelings. Plenty more have learnt over many years to bury them and overlay them with 'conventional' masculine thought patterns and behaviours? They can take a long time to strip away, if they're deeply ingrained?

..it would express feeling more female than feminine.. I say it female or feminine because female meaning to feel like a lady.. Or feminine to feel the attraction that males desire from some females...

I hope I put that in a way it could be understood?

Perhaps you're confusing anatomical sex (female) with gender feelings and behaviour (feminine)?

[curse within]

Nikki,

Your right I could be confussing that between the name it's self ... But I think even a female can agree that when she wants to feel sexy she refers to doing so in a more feminine way ..I'm guessing that would be expressing the female features in how she dresses although I am not sure..

Thanks maybe a GG could clear that up ??

[Beth-Lock]

Let us just say that I am exploring and experimenting, read in part, constructing my feminine side as I go along. It has advantages, like better understanding the women I meet and bringing a much needed moderation to my male temper. I also suspect that I started with a proto-feminine side and general inclination that way, which makes it less of a stretch. I seem to be headed towards being becoming bigendered.

[Billijo49504]

My wife says I have a very large female side. Maybe more female than male. I don't know, but that is what she says...BJ

[beenherelongtime]

cw, i do get what you are asking. i just don't really know what people mean when they say female side. is this prancing, is it emotional, such as easily crying, is it desireing men. what exactly is feminine. is it being softer, more generous, i don't know. when i dressed it was more the feeling and look of the clothes than a desire to be a woman, although women do have their good points. this is an interesting post.

by the way, i glad somebody is reading my replies. thanks.

[Nicki B]

i just don't really know what people mean when they say female side. is this prancing, is it emotional, such as easily crying, is it desireing men. what exactly is feminine. is it being softer, more generous, i don't know.

Surely all, some, or none of the above? Many qualities and behaviours are seen as primarily feminine - but they are never exclusively so?

...although women do have their good points.

You realise how that sounds?

[docrobbysherry]

CW, I don't get the "female side", or "female inside, coming out", at all! I respect those that talk about it, but I don't have a clue what it feels like!

On the other hand, I'm always suspicious of my subconsious! Ever since I suffered horrible "psychosomatic" pain, when I was young. It disappeared overnite, once I accepted it!

There is SOME reason why I am compelled to dress as often and as completely as I do! And, sex, the feel and look of the clothes, etc., etc. don't strike me as all THAT addicting, considering how long I've dressed, and my age!

So, maybe we ALL have the female component. Some of us just may NOT be in touch with it!?

[Ballerina]

Sally

Thanks you nailed it..I am just curious to why that is?

I just keep an open mind and don't believe that everyone is at the same level with their TGism. There are a few feminine things that others will do on this forum, that I won't (breast forms, altering voice, and even attempting to fool the public). We're all just on varying degrees and no one is exactly on the same levels. Heck I've heard of people that don't identify with EITHER gender and either create their own, or they stay in a neutral zone.

[Crystal Alberta]

I think I am understanding this , hope I am.. Did you ever reject feeling this way or has there always been harmony? Does expressing the inside of you show in how you dress? In other words when you dress is it often , is it in taste or rarely and trashy?

C.W.,

From the time I first started dressing, although I've mostly kept it to myself (except online), I've never looked back. Maybe I'm just lucky, but I've never experienced the guilt that a lot of CDs talk about. Maybe it's because I discovered very early that I'm happiest just being myself. Even when I was a kid in school, I was never one to change the way I acted just to fit in and be popular.

I wouldn't say I dress all that often, but I've never had any desire to dress "trashy." When I dress, I try to appear as an everyday woman. As I said, I don't see my crossdressing as playing a role or assuming another identity. It's just me.

I hope this makes some sense.

Crystal

[Tracii G]

Really CW a very interesting thread.
Not sure for the most part.I do have a very masculine side of my personality and a strong female side too.Dressing is a way to let that part of me take a step "out of the box" or present reality.
Seeing the femme me helps to trigger a different perspective on life around me.
Its more the clothes and interacting with the public for me so sex is not a trigger for dressing.Altho' dressing in a slightly provacitive way is fun as well.
Not over the top or trashy just a little peek for the guys.
Yes I like both men and women.

[KimberlyS]

I am just a guy with a mix of masculine and feminine likes, traits, personalities, and physical characteristics. I often speak about my sides, but really I am just a mixed person..... or is that mixed up person. I really do not care as this is me and I accept this is who I am.

[ColleenShivas]

I would like to ask about your fem side......Please no need to share if you feel I am out of line..

I am asking because I don't feel I have one or I have never allowed myself to express it if I do have one..Or could it be a weak hint of one? (Is this clear enough for you beenherelongtime)..

Do you feel having a feminine side is what causes you to dress? The urge of having a fem side to express herself .. Now most of us say we are happy being a male and stats agree with that statement, I hear a lot in here that most are happy accepting both sides male/female I can understand but not relate..

So you are asking by now C.W. what is the point of this post?

I am just curious, if you do have a feminine side and it is the cause or reason in your dressing...Does the feminine side come with a female personality? or EGO.. Do you wish all male features to disappear do you feel these feelings all the time or is it intermitten?..

To be fair when I dressed , the desire was more to be in contact with feminine features the attraction of the clothing not so much being a female myself..

Thanks for reading

C.W.
I see a lot of folks choose a female name

You keep starting threads that are all about how you do not fit in with the rest of us. How many responses will it take until you learn that we are all different and deal with this in our own way. From what I read in your posts, you do not care about what anyone else thinks. This is all about you.

Please stop starting new threads until you have responded more thoughtfully with the responses on all the other "ME CW" ones.

[theresa_phillipa]

For years and years i struggled against my own femininity till the struggle nearly did me in. Depression, self-disgust. All of that.
Early on my mother let me be her 'little girl' till i started school. For a long time, when i began to remember some of that, i resented her very much.
When puberty failed to make me Manly {!!}, i went through a lot of internal turmoil over whether i might be gay....or what. Back then the choices were few: 'normal' boy or .....well choose your own derogatory term for homosexual.

In recent years however, with the help of a patient therapist i have come to accept my femininity for what it is. Not some aberration. Not a phase or midlife crisis. It truly is who i am.
Even though the She-of-Me has to keep a low profile around familly, i am SO much happier in my own skin as the woman within.
At times i have to remind myself to be the Man of the house....like the other night watching the Inaugural coverage i let slip, "Wow, i wonder why Katie {Curic} isn't wearing her pearls?"

For all practical purposes i am the wife and my female spouse is my Husband.
So, i never was a Macho type.
Do i wish my body were different? More feminine? More female?
Sure.
But for all sorts of reasons the SRS will never be. {sigh}
Sure i get frustrated for having the 'WORNG' anatomy.
But i can deal with it.
By dressing in layers, i can wear my bra and panties every day. Most of the my slacks and jeans are from the Women's Dept. My husband knows about the panties and the pants. The bras and tops not so much.

Was it Crystal who said it simply: I am what I am.

So be it.

theresa

[Ballerina]

You keep starting threads that are all about how you do not fit in with the rest of us. How many responses will it take until you learn that we are all different and deal with this in our own way. From what I read in your posts, you do not care about what anyone else thinks. This is all about you.

Please stop starting new threads until you have responded more thoughtfully with the responses on all the other "ME CW" ones.

Well, you really don't see much of this around. It's nice to have a bit of an antithesis around to keep things going in it's many directions.

[Alice Torn]

It seems like, "Girls just wanna have fun", as the song goes! I find that the male energy, in western society, has become undesirable, degraded, depressed, stifled, in double binds, negative, frustrated, angry, devalued. I see that gg' energy, is more liberal, bubbly, positive, full of laughter, humor, smiley,prosperous, worldly, having fun. That is how my parents were. When i am dressed, I feel liberated from the negative male side, and more smiley. I am working on accepting my maleness, but, i know i am a loner, like my dad, with the issues he has. It is not easy. Rejection by gg's all my life really hurts. I relate to both male and female issues. I, and many of you, understand the pain, and isolation, of being rejected loner men, who are "never perfect enough", and we also undertand the sensitivity, and femininity, of a lady. Like Henry David Theareau wrote, "The masses of men lead lives of quiet desperation."

[ProjectLisaCD]

I started to crossdress just because of a thought, as a project to see if I could transform to the woman of my dreams.
With time (a month) I have realized that it is so much fun. En femme I love standing before the camera and pose, in drab I hate that. I do not think if I can express it in a way that would be understood by others than me. Especially since is such a new thing for me, I will at least try.

I do not really think that I have a feminine side, but I do know that I have several parts of myself that I am unable to express as a male, or I get strange looks when I do. En femme those side just come naturally.

[Kelsy]

I am perfectly happy Incorporating female attire into my everyday drab outfits. I don't need to be dress totally as a woman.
Androgynous dressing demonstrates to me that I have a strong feminine nature that needs expression. It is my nature and I don't need to apologize for who I am. I accept it and I am happier for it!

Kelsy

[Joanne f]

A difficult question to answer (at least for me ) as the more you think about it the more complicated it gets.
How do we really know what a feminine feeling is ,or even a male feeling ,
all i can say is that i have this constant feeling or urge to act and feel like i am assuming a female would.
Although the clothes are not necessary, as in it does not stop when i do not dress, they are a bonus to the point that i now have to wear something every day , mainly androgyness and the undies (cannot cope without them now) so i would have to say that it is my feminine side that gives me the desire to dress so i geuss i do have a feminine personality and wish that i could go completely that way .
And you last comment about some choose a female name, i wonder if that has anything to do with the difference between the ones who just enjoy dressing and the ones who feel feminine, it is the reason why i liked to be called joanne, makes me feel sort of normal (no comments on that last bit please).