poem writen by me, describing how i feel,

[JennyTG24]

Hidden pain –Personal Transgendered Poem

i look into the mirror,look deep in my eyes
i look for my soul behind all the lies
the life that im living is not my own
my soul is trapped, and I feel so alown

I keep stairing and what i see
is a stranger, its not me
it would be hard for me, to make you understand
that i feel that i should be six feet underground

i put on a front so people see
that the way i look dosent effect me
to other people they see this shell
so i put on a front so things look well

but deep inside i hate who i am
and i hate myself that much i dont give a dame
but i do go to sleep with tears in my eyes
because i know when i wake up i have to live with more lies

Im taking tablets to help with my pain
And I do feel a little better, but its not the same
My mind has changed from being depressed
but everyone see’s me as male,and this makes me stressed

my body is changing day by day
People won’t see me as any other way
My heart is screaming, my heart wants to shout
I am female, but this shell wont let me out……

I live in birmingham, it the heart of hate
It is very hard to be true to my state
I tried it once and I got beat down
I was in a puddle of blood on the ground

It wasn’t that bad I had a hit to my head
For that couple of seconds I honestly thought I was dead
I need to be female because it is killing me inside
Because my heart keeps screaming out, but this shell wont die

[Sharon]

It's a very nice poem, Jenny, sad as it is.

I hope this lovely introduction inspires you to start posting about your thoughts and fears. So much of what you write has been experienced by many other members and we are here to help one another through the tough times.

So talk, girl!

[GypsyKaren]

Jenny, very nicely written, I think a lot of us can relate to it.

Karen

[SirTrey]

Jenny, I come at it from the other side of the fence (the FtM side), but I feel very, very much the same way that you do....and I want you to know that you are NOT alone....although I know it does feel that way because it does to Me, too....and I am having a particulary rough time right now, so reading what you wrote hit home here a lot....Nothing easy about being trans, that's for sure....nothing at all....Hugs, **Trey**

[Kimberley]

Jenny, thanks for letting me post that to my website. I am sure it will ring home for most of us who do read it.


Kimmie

[Valerie]

Thanks, Jenny, for the poem, which conveys so perfectly a powerful feeling many of us have felt or feel from time to time. You write very much to the point. Keep on writing poems! When the pain is transmuted into beauty, we all gain.

Valerie

[JennyTG24]

Thank you all for your kind words, I will write some more poems in the future and i hope in time i will write some happy ones for you all to enjoy.

poetry is the way i get all my feelings out. i was in a bad way at the beginning of my life and my theropist recomented i write my thoughts down in a diary, but i desided i would turn my words into poetry. it is a very good release and i do recomend it to anyone feeling down. it really dose help

Thank you all again

Jenny *hugs and Kisses*

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Jenny - its a beautiful poem. I share alot of your feelings...i'm in the northeast where its more tolerant, but the hate is here too

I think its great you have that outlet...a friend of mine created an incredible portrait, its a picture of a girl's face, with black hair and swirly orange background...the thing is inside the girls face are clippings from various articles and essays....all about gender dysphoria, anxiety, fear, frustration....it really moved me and she said that type of stuff really helps her!!