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Thread: CD friendly GG's dating

  1. #1
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    CD friendly GG's dating

    How do I attempt to date after many years of not dating? How do I find a GG that is interested in a cross dressing father of one?

    Even the pay sites don't seem to have much in the way of GG's that are interested in cross dressers in my area.

    Candy

  2. #2
    Junior Member Jean Ann S's Avatar
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    CD Dating

    As a single person and a CD ,,,,,I find you just got to get out there and meet some People . Shop ,,,,,,talk to the shop assistants and become friends .
    Get makeup and become friends . Lots of times the first step is in becoming friends first

    Jean Ann

  3. #3
    Just bein' me! krisinpink's Avatar
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    $1,000,000

    Yours is the million-dollar question.

    Here's the deal as I see it:

    One could ask the question, How / Where do I go to find a GG who likes a short guy that enjoys fishing? Or, How / Where do I go to find a GG who enjoys theater and gardening, or from the GG perspective, How / Where do I go to find a GM who likes family activities and camping?

    I kinda think that every single-person out there seeking a partner asks these questions, and there just isn't a single answer. For what it's worth, my recommendation is to put yourself 'out there' (online dating sites, church groups, rec-league sports, community volunteerism, whatever) and just meet people. Always be yourself, and always try to genuinely listen to possible romantic interests when they cross your path. Don't be shy to invite someone for coffee or a beer, or to grab a slice of pie after the movie.

    Now, having said that, all of us in this forum know that CD/TG issues and enjoyments are not widely accepted in our society---certainly not as openly as camping, gardening, fishing etc. For this reason, ours is a road a little more difficult to find. Honesty, openness, and perseverance are our best tools in our search.

    Hang in there, know that dispointments will happen, but also that they will pass, and that finding that *someone* can happen if you stay with it, and be open to flexibilty.


    Krissy

  4. #4
    denim member sophieuk's Avatar
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    wow, reading your post. it was like some thing i would have put on about eight months ago. i too am a father of one. single for years. i even wrote to a uk newspaper problem page with the same sort of question. i spent ages, looking for hat perfect person, one who would love me for who i really am. now, the answer to your question ! here it is, ready. DONT go looking for that perfect gg. she will find you. good tip. BE YOUR SELF AND, this is important, BE THRUTHFUL to her. go out, have fun, go to clubs etc have drinks and meet people. from the start, you will see if a friend ship is possible. then, after a VERY short time, tell her, that, you enjoy wearing clothes like her. i did just this. i met some one. after a couple of dates, i told her all about my self. i wanted for that moment where she would run, but she didnt. she said, because i was truthful from the start, she was ok. Only then could i be my self. now, we are planning to get married in 2010. she has said that if we started seeing each other, then after seven months i told her, she would have not trusted me.
    If you tell some one, and they run, then they are not a true friend or possible partner. To say im lucky tohave met tracy is a understatment. i never push any thing. we just have fun with it.
    thats the best thing i could say. time will come when you meet some onme, you click, and you can fall in love. it WILL happen, might take time


    sophieuk

  5. #5
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    Just being open about what your hobby is helps a great deal.
    I have met several ladies lately and been up front about CDing and they don't have a problem at all.It really shocked me the level of acceptance they have.
    We have shopped gone to the movies as two girls out on the town.
    The trick is let them make the choice of who they wish to go out with.
    I would say it been 50/50 girl/guy mode so far.
    The 23 year old GG I went out with last night(in drab)explained to me she was very interested in me over the younger guys because I was a gentelman and treated her as a lady and listened to everything she had to say.
    She liked the fact that I could understand the female side of things too.
    Just get out and meet folks at the places you like to go.
    I have met lots of GG's at the places I buy femme stuff and they always want to talk and see pics.
    I have found if you go LOOKING it never happens if you find someone that intrests you comment on her outfit or shoes on how nice she looks in them that breaks the ice so good luck I hope you find someone PE.
    Good to see you back on here.

  6. #6
    Vegas Domme rickie121x's Avatar
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    Sophie...

    Quote Originally Posted by sophieuk View Post
    ....time will come when you meet some onme, you click, and you can fall in love. it WILL happen, might take time
    sophieuk
    I am happy for you, and hope that all will work as you would hope it will. As I read what you wrote, I was thinking you live in wonderland but I was wrong, it is the UK. (Hehe...)

    Actually I know that you are right in what you say - but some of us, well at least me, are not quite so outgoing, having found that through decades of working on doing what you suggest, that the pain of doing that was greater than the pain of being alone.

    And I am not only old, a CD, having a BDSM fetish, financially conservative, and only enjoy slim girls age 45 to 58, who do not smoke or drink, and who might enjoy or simply put up with a partner who crossdresses. That's not quite as simple as "Kissinpink" equivocates to the "short guy who likes fishing." Although what she says is all correct, so as with "Sophie."

    So far in this short span of 53 years, since I was 21 years old, successful femme contacts have been very far between and very few to begin with.

    I do go out, but have given up on ordinary places, the statistical odds are astronomical. I go to kind of kinky gatherings and feel that my chances are significantly better there. That's true with the exception of the age question. In those groupings the females are pretty young - Occasionally I have a "happening". But a finding relationship seems precluded.

    I thought things would be a lot better after I retired, but it doesn't seem to be that way in "partner hunting."
    "Who's around your TV is more important than how big it is...." Dr. Phil
    http://profiles.urnotalone.com/54617
    http://www.frappr.com/?a=myphotos&id=1265395

  7. #7
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    It's not likely that on a dating site you're gonna find a woman who is actually looking for a CD. That, hunny, is probably the very furthest thing from their minds.

    Women are looking for what we are looking for, a copacetic, polite, smile-inducing, stable person. You gotta meet the ladies first, see if there might be a little chemistry, get a little bonded, so that she knows you're a reasonable, reliable, trustworthy guy...

    Then, very early on, if a more serious relationship looks possible, when you're at the stage of trading info about backgrounds and likes and dislikes, it's time to fess up...

    Sure, we can easily make lots of GG friends while dressed, especially if we present well and are friendly (rather than lascivicious and look like a stalker), but rarely, I think will any of those accepting ladies ever consider us their Prince Charming, just a new, and slightly exotic friend.

    (For most we may fall into the same kind of category as a GG's trusted gay male friends, fun to be with, but not threatening, and probably not husband and father material, straight or not. But that's okay, too,'cos a good way to meet more women is through that woman's circle of friends.)

    There was also some discussion a while back about what kind of woman might even consider hooking up with a CD. And a little consensus showed that women in certain fields, who might be more comfortable with the idea might be found in the worlds of the theatre, the arts, music, all fields where a more liberal and open mindset prevails.

    Good luck, Candy. It'll be some work, but there are women out there for us. They are the golden needles hidden in the haystack of society.


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    Quote Originally Posted by deja true View Post
    But that's okay, too,'cos a good way to meet more women is through that woman's circle of friends.)

    Bingo. The more women you meet, the more you'll meet.

  9. #9
    denim member sophieuk's Avatar
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    silly question, but what is BDSM ???

  10. #10
    Gold Member TxKimberly's Avatar
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    Can't add a single thing to what Deja wrote. If my wife unassed me today, that would be exactly what I'd do. Get to know each other first, then share the deep dark secret. lol

  11. #11
    Junior Member Maid Barbara's Avatar
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    Hi Sophie,
    take a look at this for more info

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BDSM

    Barbara

  12. #12
    Boy with a girlie streak kay2's Avatar
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    I have met and dated accepting women without having any difficulty. First off, I am not a full-on CD - no forms nor wig, and only the occasional dab of makeup; just a guy that likes girly things. I normally have my nails very long and polished pink or red, and I wear jewelry. Sometimes I am wearing a skirt when they meet me. The point is, I am me.

    Because of my presentation, they ask questions pretty quickly - usually on the first date - sometimes second. Gay? Transitioning? (No. No.) I talk about myself completely openly - it was a bit uncomfortable the first time or two, but pushing through that discomfort, it now makes for an interesting and engaging conversation.

    The women I have dated certainly go through a process as we get to know each other - "Is this something I can be comfortable with?" "Has he told me everything?" If we like each other and continue dating it becomes necessary to discuss boundaries such as how I will appear if I meet their family.

    So, advice? Be yourself and completely open. If you are wearing something feminine that you like, the topic will come up naturally. More than one woman has said they did not feel one way or the other about how I dress, but that they were strongly attracted to my openness, honesty, and confidence to be me.

    After this comes the hard part - finding a woman that I feel I can spend the rest of my life with.

  13. #13
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    depending exactly on what you are look for you might try two web site--urnotalone.com and alt.com
    [SIZE="4"][/SIZE]

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    I was just thinking about women that enjoy a CD'n spouse. Woweee, would that be a lucky score.

  15. #15
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Less than one percent of women are truly interested in us. That said, there are still millions of them out there, but there's just no particular way to find them. Best way I came up with would be to place an ad with some of your pics normal and some 'en femme', on one of the huge dating sites, and start writing to every single woman you find attractive. But that only works if you are willing to be 'out', and are able to stand a >99% 'read and deleted' rate of your letters, with no response at all. Outside of that, chances are very slim indeed of ever finding anyone who's really alright with the crossdressing, that you also find attractive. I guess you could befriend a gay woman and ask her to take her with you to her gay bar, and hope to meet a bisexual woman who might be interested in you, but usually those are interested in masculine men and feminine women too, so that's a limited resource as well. The big stumbling block is whether to be 'out' or not. Let's face it, women are generally attracted to masculine guys. Wearing what we do simply destroys that image for them, pretty much permanently. So far, it seems our choices usually involve staying in the closet and dating without telling about the Cd'ing, or remain alone. Unless of course you want to date guys; there are plenty of them interested in CD'ers out there. But that isn't an option for most of us. If by any chance anyone locates a club where there are women who like crossdressers, let me know. So far, I don't think they exist.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by sometimes_miss View Post
    Less than one percent of women are truly interested in us.
    What a great big heap of steaming optimism you are!

    Speak for yourself. Of the girls I've dated, about half are okay with crossdressing, and the other half enthusiastic.

    In the last several months, what started as making just a few new friends has resulted in making a lot more -- and meeting literally dozens of women. Among those, I've run across ONE who's turned off. But that one is a too young for my taste, and a little on the promiscuous side anyway. Some of them I've met "en femme," and some in guy mode. Doesn't matter.

    Saturday night, I was out at the bar, doing karaoke & such. Complete guy mode, but I did opt for a little eyeliner. I had three females flirting like mad, two of them I showed pictures of me dressed (to some ooh-la-las), and one tried to drag me home. That one might have been fun, but as her boyfriend was there, and I had ridden with someone else myself, it was unavoidably out of the question. Ah well. Maybe I'll call her.

    Another night, I told a girl I liked her shoes, wanted them, and wanted to know where she got them. It led to a date. Not just with her, but with her rather fetching friend, too. I'm not sure what kind of friends they are... ...but maybe I'll let you know later this week....

    I don't think I'm the fluke here. You are.


    Quote Originally Posted by sometimes_miss View Post
    Let's face it, women are generally attracted to masculine guys.

    Now that's true. But where your thinking strays is in what you think "masculine" means. Masculine isn't what you wear, or how hirsute you are. Masculine is your attitude. It's your confidence, your skills, your carriage, your strength, your courage, your protective nature.

    Whether or not you dress in women's clothing is not at issue here. Rather, it's what kind of man are you -- inside? It's not like you can just put on a man suit. You need a spine. For attracting females, a man suit is optional. A spine is not.

    I don't know you. I don't know what you're like, how old you are, what you look like. But, at the risk of sounding like a jerk, I have to say this. Your problem isn't in your wardrobe. It's in your head.

  17. #17
    just Khelli mykhelee's Avatar
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    networking

    I went four years without finding a GG that was able to handle my proclivity for feminine finery, then my roomate invited a gf of her's over for movie night, we hit it off. I came clean about everything on our first date to give her the chance to run away. We have spent the last three wekkends together and things are going great. It can be a long hard lonely road, keep socailizing and don't be afraid to let some of your gfs in on the secret so as to be able to help you out with your seeking. If you are entirely in the closet then you may end up trapping yourself within it.
    Peace,
    Khelli

  18. #18
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkeverything View Post
    How do I attempt to date after many years of not dating? How do I find a GG that is interested in a cross dressing father of one?

    Even the pay sites don't seem to have much in the way of GG's that are interested in cross dressers in my area.
    Candy
    I think others have written here about thinking u won't find a GG becoming a sort of selfullfilling prophecy! NOT coming out rite away, and just meeting as many GGs as u can in your everyday life, sounds like good advice on the surface!

    However, there is a downside to spending your all your CD time in a closet! Specially if U CD a lot. U mite end up with your female alter ego, as your most attractive fem partner option!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  19. #19
    Silver Member JoAnne Wheeler's Avatar
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    If you advertise that you are a CDer that is looking for a GG for marriage, it is doubtful that you will ever find one

    JoAnne Wheeler

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by docrobbysherry View Post

    However, there is a downside to spending your all your CD time in a closet! Specially if U CD a lot. U mite end up with your female alter ego, as your most attractive fem partner option!
    I've been thinking about this. At least I wouldn't be lonely.

  21. #21
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissConstrued View Post
    What a great big heap of steaming optimism you are!

    Speak for yourself. Of the girls I've dated, about half are okay with crossdressing, and the other half enthusiastic.

    In the last several months, what started as making just a few new friends has resulted in making a lot more -- and meeting literally dozens of women. Among those, I've run across ONE who's turned off. But that one is a too young for my taste, and a little on the promiscuous side anyway. Some of them I've met "en femme," and some in guy mode. Doesn't matter.

    Saturday night, I was out at the bar, doing karaoke & such. Complete guy mode, but I did opt for a little eyeliner. I had three females flirting like mad, two of them I showed pictures of me dressed (to some ooh-la-las), and one tried to drag me home. That one might have been fun, but as her boyfriend was there, and I had ridden with someone else myself, it was unavoidably out of the question. Ah well. Maybe I'll call her.

    Another night, I told a girl I liked her shoes, wanted them, and wanted to know where she got them. It led to a date. Not just with her, but with her rather fetching friend, too. I'm not sure what kind of friends they are... ...but maybe I'll let you know later this week....

    I don't think I'm the fluke here. You are.





    Now that's true. But where your thinking strays is in what you think "masculine" means. Masculine isn't what you wear, or how hirsute you are. Masculine is your attitude. It's your confidence, your skills, your carriage, your strength, your courage, your protective nature.

    Whether or not you dress in women's clothing is not at issue here. Rather, it's what kind of man are you -- inside? It's not like you can just put on a man suit. You need a spine. For attracting females, a man suit is optional. A spine is not.

    I don't know you. I don't know what you're like, how old you are, what you look like. But, at the risk of sounding like a jerk, I have to say this. Your problem isn't in your wardrobe. It's in your head.
    Yeah but hon you are in wonderful Denver CO

    I have met girls online and in real life. Before I get too serious I always show them Lori in pictures. I have not met any yey who made that a deal breaker. However two at once? Miss I gotta hang with you But I would be the ugly GF who would just drag you down

  22. #22
    GG hskrchic's Avatar
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    My advice is just be patient the girl of your dreams will come along. I would have never dreamed that I would enjoy a crossdressing bf but I met a great guy. We met almost 2 years ago on myspace. He told me about his dressing very early in our relationship and it didn't bother me because I'm very non-judgemental. But the longer we have been together the more I find myself enjoying every minute of it....I love to do his makeup, pick out and/or buy clothes & shoes. We have gone out several times and each time is better and better. Just go for it....just be take things slow with anyone you meet, you never know what might happen.

  23. #23
    Pausing To Femme-flect melissacd's Avatar
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    The key is to get out there and socialize a lot, use every way that you can find to meet others and be up front about your cross dressing as early as possible. There are many women out there who will accept this, far more than I ever imagined.

    It is relatively easy to find GGs who are okay with this so long as they like you as a person. The next step is to find someone whom you are compatible with in other ways too. Having someone who accepts your cross dressing is not enough.

    In the end though the most important thing is to know yourself, be true to who you are and share that truth with others so that they can relate to you from a position of knowledge.
    What stop do I get off at? Hmmm...

  24. #24
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    I'm not sure how to get out there. I'm not really a bar guy. At 37 years old, I'm basically clueless about meeting women my age, and terrified about meeting a good one and trying to bring her into my little world.

    The keyboard player that I play with is in love with me. She knows everything. Musically, we get along perfectly. Actually, we have a darn good time together. Sometimes, when it's just the 2 of us playing music, I wear girls jeans and shirts and she is totally cool with it. I just don't find her sexually attractive.

    I gotta get out there.

  25. #25
    Aspiring Member Michelia's Avatar
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    Sounds to me like she is right under your nose, pink

    Quote Originally Posted by pinkeverything View Post
    I'm not sure how to get out there. I'm not really a bar guy. At 37 years old, I'm basically clueless about meeting women my age, and terrified about meeting a good one and trying to bring her into my little world.

    The keyboard player that I play with is in love with me. She knows everything. Musically, we get along perfectly. Actually, we have a darn good time together. Sometimes, when it's just the 2 of us playing music, I wear girls jeans and shirts and she is totally cool with it. I just don't find her sexually attractive.

    I gotta get out there.
    I said the same thing about my current SO and my arrogant plan was to be friends because I did not even want to be seen with her.

    Now she is the best thing that ever happened to me. She is the sexiest thing on the planet, and her looks have nothing to do with it. And you can read anything you want into this statement and more, and chances are it will be true! The bottom line is this: I have had some gorgeous sexy women in my life - yeah it was never easy for me, do not get me wrong - I am very persistent. None come close to my SO in the loving department compatibility scale. Cding or not. Just add Cding to the mix.

    Jeezum! Us men! If we can only change our mindset a little here. Women select men through many different criteria and are willling to put looks aside. Some don't and often pay the price. The same applies to us. Be more like a woman. Do not focus so much on looks and you just might find that perfect mate. She will be sexy if you let her love you.

    I say you are in left field my friend, if you want me to be honest. No offense meant. Just trying to wake you up.

    And I am now editing the post to add this:

    I wish I could make music together with my SO like you could!

    And on top of this, this woman is in love with you! You should not even have posted this thread! Move before it is too late. You may regret it the rest of your life.
    Last edited by Michelia; 02-13-2009 at 12:09 PM. Reason: add comment
    Love,

    Michelia

    "Genius is the recovery of childhood at will." Rimbaud

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