Thank you for pointing that out to me. Its removed.Originally Posted by DAVIDA
Thank you for pointing that out to me. Its removed.
Marissa
"You better look hard and look twice,
...is that me, baby or just a brilliant disguise?"- The Boss
Kaz, if I am right, what has confused you is the lack of quotation marks in the original question. It took me a couple of read-throughs but I believe that the question should have read:This is one of those threads I fear where the discussion goes completely off the OP. and I apologise for my part in that... It looks like I completely lost the plot!
So Di... this is a GG who most CDers say loves women, but yet the GG is not gay (i.e does not love women)... but the CDers are coming onto them with various gestures? And your concern is that they are actually coming onto guys, not GGs...?
Most cders say "I love women and I am not gay" yet they post pics and a lot of them are always trying to be seductive...
thus finding an apparent contradiction between the assertion that the CD is only into women and the sexy pose that the GG feels is put up for men to ogle.
What I feel may confuse the GG questioner is that many of us in the cross-dressing community genuinely do not consider the anatomical gender of our fellow transgenders. I know that I could no more think of one of our FtM brethren in terms of being a woman than I could think of one of our MtF sisters in terms of being a man.
Do I understand that some cross-dressers are resolute in their desire to keep their anatomical gender? Yes, but does that make me treat them differently to the way that they present? Sorry but no.
Incidentally, I rarely look in the picture and video gallery, so I may be speaking completely out of turn.
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This above all: To thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any
Galileo said "You cannot teach a man anything" and they accuse ME of being sexist :facepalm:
Never ascribe to malice that which can be easily explained by sheer stupidity
It could be that in some cases, the cd doesn't know HOW to pose to present a feminine image, and does the best possible. I learned from my pics that some poses don't work, like those with legs apart or hands on hips. Some of us had to learn to pose. I am still not happy with the way I walk - some video clips told me so. Still working on trying for a more feminine gait.
This topic is still another example of the great divide here. There are identity dressers, many of whom desire to blend in and avoid blatant, over-the-top, provocative dress, makeup, and manner. Or they may have natural feminine tendencies and it comes easy. Others dress for pleasure and like to present themselves as sexy. It's in the mind of the beholder. I dress and makeup over-the-top, but I strive more for glam and less for sexy. That's just me. We're all different.
It seems to me that there is a kind of undercurrent of snobbery here. The identity dressers want us pleasure dressers to clean up our act and present a better image in order to gain public acceptance for us all. Identity dressers often want to be called "transgendered" to differentiate themselves from the sexually deviant "fetishistic crossdressers". Identity dressers want acceptance for themselves but won't accept crossdressers who don't fit their template. You don't like how someone poses? <click> you don't have to look.
I suppose a lot of the poses emphasise feminine: pouting to make you lips look bigger, thrusting your boobs forward, sticking your bum out. It's a chicken and egg thing I guess that the poses are seen as sexy, but they are sexy because they emphasise girliness but to make yourself look more girly in a pose you would strike to make the femme features stand out more. Saying that I've not got any pictures like that
I agree with Kaz that we are off the subject here. I have read from the girls here that they dont post sexy or aluring pictures. That they feel that maybe the yoir SO is just coping ideas from magazines on newstands. I think we need to hear from the girls that in fact do post sexy or aluringing photos to what their feelings are to why they do it, not from girls that say they dont. We have not see your SO photos also, so its hard for us to render a real opinion. I myself am guilty of taking the sexy photos, but as I have said before, I am going through a conflcting time and not sure I fully understand it yet myself. I have not yet discussed this with my wife until I get a better idea of what I am feeling. I dont feel the need to fully upset her, if this conflict is in passing. Of course in any matter I will tell her what ever has happened so she will not later find out. If she was to see the photos ive done and asked me of course I would tell her at that time. I know from reading the other girls they will disagree with me. I do feel if your SO is taking the unacceptable photos she may also be in a conflict, and now that you have seen them,you need to tell her and ask her about them. Its just my opinion which seldom does anyone ever listen anyway. Sooo if you have gotten this far thats for reading this.
Thanks Sara...........
Because I'm a narcissistic freak with a huge streak of exhibitionism.
I'm sure I'm not the only one, but apparently, the only one in this thread so far to admit it. :P
To fab gg.For some,to emulate a woman includes the provocative poses.It helps to complete their image of what they feel they like in a woman.Their sexual desires may be completely opposite of that,so I feel its OK to do what you want with this depending on your mood.For others who are transgender,well ..its not just a pose but their true feelings.I guess we need to be careful what we assume about others irregardless of what we think they are projecting
At the same time we can turn that sentence around and try to be careful of what we project regardless of what we assume.
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This above all: To thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any
Galileo said "You cannot teach a man anything" and they accuse ME of being sexist :facepalm:
Never ascribe to malice that which can be easily explained by sheer stupidity
What would you suggest for poses? The "superman" pose? How about the iron pumping, muscle flexing he-man pose? Either way it would look silly while wearing a beautiful flowing gown or a cute mini skirt. Dressing for me is a temporary transformation into a woman (I guess a lesbian) so it isn't just clothing on a dude.
As for the "kiss-kiss" or "hon" thing, well I don't know about that one. It sometimes creeps me out a little having a man say that to me directly. But really it doesn't really bother me much that others here use feminine terms of endearment. It's their thing and I doubt they mean to offend anyone or that there is anything sexual behind it. They are just going the distance in expressing their femininity.
I wouldn't suggest anyone goes "whazzuuuuuuuup?!" or anything retarded like that. Someone else here uses "cheers". I like that one, it's so English and "a-sexual".
Ginger
Oh, and who is to say, Lesbian, or Bi-sexual women don't find those poses alluring. I know that may be a wild shot in the dark, but who knows. I know my Bi GG friend looks at pics of women and is known to say "oh that's hot" or "Oh she is sooo sexi", and so on. When she saw me in my vampiress outfit, she was all "Oh my god, you don't look like a drag queen, you look ravashing" LOL
So I don't think our poses are for men to ogle, though they do. I know that when I look at the pics here there is no sexual desire, only a desire to find something I can use for my own look.
Plus, male poses.....usually express POWER, DOMNIATION, BRAWN, and other MANLY things I personally think there is an unequal distribution of these days.
"I am not altogether on anyone's side as no one is all together on my side"
Tree beard. Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers.
My question to this thread, is why does it matter? Unless there is an inherent relationship with the person posting the pictures I'm not sure it matters much. I guess the real answer is; because they want to. Unless there is something inappropriate, it's there own choice.
If the person posting the pictures is a friend or significant other I'd say ask them personally. Reading through these posts, (the ones on the topic) it seems clear that there are as many reasons as there are people posting them.
Well said Pythos! I couldn't have said it better myself, no really I couldn't have!Oh, and who is to say, Lesbian, or Bi-sexual women don't find those poses alluring. I know that may be a wild shot in the dark, but who knows. I know my Bi GG friend looks at pics of women and is known to say "oh that's hot" or "Oh she is sooo sexi", and so on. When she saw me in my vampiress outfit, she was all "Oh my god, you don't look like a drag queen, you look ravashing" LOL
So I don't think our poses are for men to ogle, though they do. I know that when I look at the pics here there is no sexual desire, only a desire to find something I can use for my own look.
Plus, male poses.....usually express POWER, DOMNIATION, BRAWN, and other MANLY things I personally think there is an unequal distribution of these days.
Ginger
if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck....is it as crossdresser ? or a chicken hawk ?
To answer the original question:
I think the problem with understanding this is the precept that our poses as crossdressers are meant to attract others...no matter if they are aimed at either gender.
Presuming that they are using these pics for the sole purpose of attracting a perspective SO is way off base for most of us. Because at the end of the day this is a site built for our whole Community, not a dating site.
I browse our community pics and see lots of confident people being themselves. Some are very sexy in intent and some are very practical. Embracing both sides of our community from fetish to full-time, we pose for pics to show off our having fun side. Many dont have an open SO to share these moments of confidence captured on film. So they end up here among their peers.
And this question strikes the heart of sexuality among us as a whole. Gay, straight, whatever, if they are attractive pics, then by all means be confident and be yourself. If that involves blowing kisses at the camera then have fun with it.
Being a Sexy Freak,
-Donni-
I sat here for at least five minutes trying to decide if I should comment on this thread or not. After all, I seriously doubt that there are many here that have as many pics on the web as I do.
The thing is, I doubt that my pics fit the box you have in your mind.
I went for about ten years having only two or three pictures of myself as Kimberly. When I was feeling old and ugly, I would pull those pics out and think to myself "See, I CAN be pretty!". One day I was looking at them and it occurred to me that I had gotten older, and maybe even old. If your older than your mid thirties, then you may have even had this awful revelation and moment yourself. Anyway, it struck me that I wished I had taken more pictures for the memories while I was younger and prettier. My next thought was that some day when I was in my sixties, I may well look back at TODAY and think the same thing - why didn't you take more photo's while you were young and before all the wrinkles destroyed your face? With this depressing and horrific thought in mind, I trotted out and bought my first digital camera, and a monster was born. . .
I DO have a theory about why a lot of us post pics though. Most of us spend a significant part of our life hiding in closets and terrified that others will see us or learn of our secret. For all of that, we still have a longing - how wonderful would it be to enter the world wearing a beautiful skirt or high heels? When you consider the two conflicting desires (secrecy vrs the desire to enter the world wearing what we dream of), suddenly putting pictures out on the internet is an almost perfect solution. It's an outlet for that which we want to share and participate in and yet are terrified to do so. Anyway, it's a theory - take it or leave it as you please . . .
As for the provocative nature of some of the pics, I just don't know - I don't have any pics along those lines. On the other hand, were I in my twenties and with a fit figure, I might actually try and give some of them a run for their money. Even then though, it wouldn't be that I was aiming to attract men - they hold no interest for me. It would be more about fulfilling the fantasy of being someone that I myself might consider attractive and desirable.
Did that make ANY sense at all or did I just ramble? Damn, aint getting old a bitch?
Last edited by TxKimberly; 01-15-2011 at 11:48 PM.
I fully agree with you. We are tring to get the best picture of what we feel is our inner beauty and bring it out on the canvas. Not thinking along the lines that you are. We are just showing our inner beauty, our femme self to others plain and simple.
Here is another question for the GG.
Why is it these poses are necessarily feminine, and meant to attract men.
Why are men limited yet again in another field of expression?
Why can men not pose provocatively or sexi?
As I have stated most male poses deal with the display of power, or brawn, or strength....notice, how all of those have a key feature, I will leave it to the reader to figure that one out.
My "sassy" pose, is in fact a "manly" heroic pose, not much different from what Superman is regularly seen doing. Standing up with arms crossed at chest is also a heroic pose, more like one Batman does.
Once again, the line between male and female is razor thin and easily transgressed.
The pose of the subject lying on one side or the other can be taken as a submissive pose, and consequently feminine. Once again this is a social construct that can easily be shattered.
Now, that is not to say there are poses that are very "feminine" and that is because they emphasize something only women have...breasts. These poses are done by us I think because we are trying to appear as feminine as our bodies will allow, though, when I am in androg or male mode, I am known to use such a pose. The afformentioned superheroes are also known to do this pose.
It is all silly non-sense to allow yet another area of limitation for men to remain.
"I am not altogether on anyone's side as no one is all together on my side"
Tree beard. Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers.
I haven't trudged through the bulk of responses in this thread because I haven't had the time to, but I will answer it for me. I have recently started posted a few "Sexy" photos onto an erotic pics website. Unlike the majority of my dressing which is just being a guy in a skirt or dress, in these pics I actually go both fully girl, and also try my best to pose in a more risque, seductive manner. Now, yes, money is a reason for this, but I haven't really made all that much money from this endeavor, so for me to have done two photo shoots for this, there has to be another reason to be doing it besides that, and I think it's fair to say, yes, I do like the idea that I can get all dolled up and be sexy in that way. When I'm about midway through one of these photo shoots, I definitely feel really sexy and great about myself. I feel hot. I feel like one of the Victoria's Secret models I grew up both lusting after and being jealous of.
Am I fully aware that the people looking at my photo sets are other men? Yes. But it doesn't mean anything to me except being flattered that someone finds me attractive enough to want to buy my "sexy" photos. It doesn't mean I want these men to come a-callin' on me or trying to pursue a relationship with me, it's just a little bit of fun that will also hopefully turn me a small profit.
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~Riley
Check out my trans themed standup on YouTube!
My Tumblr Blog
I'll admit it, 2Speed! Altho, that's really just another way of saying, "I post pictures of myself that I think look HOT!"
Not everyone's, "Hot", looks the same tho, does it?
That's so well expressed, Kim! U explained BEAUTIFULLY why I enjoy posting my pics online, AND why I prefer posting HOT pics of Sherry!!:D
Even tho I'm over 60, I'm a somewhat recent beginner of dressing and I'm lucky enuff to have a figure that can get AWAY WITH lookin' HOT!
I expect to pass this silly, " Post hot pics", stage one of these days! Maybe when I'm in my 80's!?
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
Maybe it's BSS, Britaney Spears Syndrome! No doubt a lot of us have pics that are age/place inappropriate
For those who missed Di's second post about this anonymous GG who had posted the question, the pictures she was disturbed by and questioning were posted by her husband. I'm assuming that she did not know these pictures existed before she saw them in the picture gallery here, or if she did know they existed she never had thought they were for public consumption. Is it acceptable to post deliberately provocative pictures when one is in a serious, committed relationship?
Something that I've had trouble wrapping my head around are not the poses I've seen pictures of, but the responses they get. For example, one picture I saw recently was of one of our members in her bra and panties, with a profusion of extra lingerie piled in front of her groin. Some of the other photos in the set had provocative captions. The responses to that picture were that others saw it as being very classy, and very feminine, and the member was hit on quite a bit. It bothered me.
Don't get me wrong, the picture itself wasn't the bothering part - as has been said on here, you see advertising images like that all the time all over the place, and I am all for healthy self expression that satisfies the individual. The part I found hard was the fact others on the thread picked out THAT particular image to call very feminine, and labelled the whole thing 'classy.' Do you have to show your underwear to prove you're 'feminine'? Since when did they pass THAT rule? 'Cause I totally missed it. And as for 'classy?' Class is something every female can aspire to, and is something which can be shown at all times. If you'd feel embarrassed looking like that or acting like that in front of your grandmother (assuming your grandmother was perfectly accepting of your femininity), or if Grace Kelly would never have done that - it's not classy. It's just not. Maybe it's sexy, or artistic, or beautiful - but it falls closer to the trashy side than the classy one.
The thing I have to think is, the more people see feedback like that on images where the poser is scantily clad and provocative, the more they're going to think, 'that's what I have to do to look good.' I think that's a real trap for girls and women (including in this category all the wonderful CDers and TG ladies on this site) to fall into. I have been involved with groups for young girls for a long time, and I can't tell you how often girls feel pressure to tart up and 'be sexy' because that's how they think they have to be to be taken seriously as a woman, for very similar reasons to this. I wonder how much our anonymous GG's partner posted those pictures because that's what she thought she needed to do to look very feminine.
Let me ask you this, is it acceptable for a married woman, such as Heidi Klum, to pose modeling lingerie? I would say it is by most folks except the most conservative amongst us. If the issue in question is that the GG's husband was posting these pictures without her knowledge, behind her back, then isn't it fair to say the real issue here is one of trust and honesty with one's spouse and partner, rather than an indictment of all who pose in sexy ways?
I think this is a matter of perspective. Unfortunately, if you do a google search on the internet for sexy pictures of crossdressers, or heck, just for pictures of crossdressers with the safe search filter off, you will find a lot raunchier photos than the ones like you described. Sadly, amongst the world of crossdressing photos, it is somewhat classy to not show off one's genitals or pose performing some sort of sex act. There's a huge pile of material that is pornographic in nature that somehow gets passed off as the norm of what makes a "sexy crossdresser," and as a result, what is or isn't classy is a bit skewed by comparison. On several sites I've seen photo groupings where "Classy" means "No nudity."The part I found hard was the fact others on the thread picked out THAT particular image to call very feminine, and labelled the whole thing 'classy.' Do you have to show your underwear to prove you're 'feminine'? Since when did they pass THAT rule? 'Cause I totally missed it. And as for 'classy?' Class is something every female can aspire to, and is something which can be shown at all times. If you'd feel embarrassed looking like that or acting like that in front of your grandmother (assuming your grandmother was perfectly accepting of your femininity), or if Grace Kelly would never have done that - it's not classy. It's just not. Maybe it's sexy, or artistic, or beautiful - but it falls closer to the trashy side than the classy one.
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~Riley
Check out my trans themed standup on YouTube!
My Tumblr Blog
That's exactly what I'm trying to say, so let me rephrase that question. 'Is it acceptable to post deliberately provocative pictures without the knowledge or blessing from the one with whom a person is in a serious, committed relationship?'
Okay, I'll take your word on that one!
I think it's just the implication I'm seeing on this site that in order to get attention and validation from other crossdressers, one has to post pictures of oneself and the pictures which are encouraged and 'validated' the most, are seen as being the most 'feminine' or 'classy' are ones where the poser is wearing as little as they can get away with. It kind of makes me wonder first off how I am seen from the average genetically male point of view (or any other GG, for that matter) and second off how many 'young' crossdressers end up taking and posting photos they'll regret later because they wanted to fit in and be seen as 'feminine.'
hiya anonymous, lol
Some of the explanation is just Maslow’s Hierarchy Needs being played out. More specifically, the third level (belonging) and fourth level (esteem).
We need to belong someplace and feel accepted within the group(s) we are part of. We accomplish this by proving we fit into the social norms defined by the group. Posting CD images may provide concrete “evidence” of that commitment.
Esteem needs create the desire to rise to a higher position within a group. Earning the respect of the our peer group gives us greater “power”.
The nature of the TG issue places emphasis on physical appearance. By default, it becomes a competition to earn enough peer group and admirer votes to become a “star”. Some use a sexually explicit strategy and others try to achieve respect by condemning it.
Still others resort to the sexually explicit route when other strategies become ineffective.
The sexual aspects you are referring to are often considerations that may never even enter his mind. It may simply be a compensating strategy to fulfill a desperate need for acceptance which is being denied elsewhere.
Interpreting our own behavior is a challenging task. Interpreting the behavior of another person is even more challenging. It requires us to change our viewing perspective. Using our own prospective and perceptions of the world to uncover another person’s motivation and behavior rarely generates anything productive.
What makes sense to us is irrelevant. What makes sense to the another person has everything to do with understanding their motivations and behavior. Understanding and acknowledging his perceptions of the world will enable you to understand the reasoning, justification and motivation for his behavior.
It is possible to understand things that do not make sense when viewed with our own perception of the world.
Just my thoughts,
Good Luck !
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
I love to look hot and flirt, even if I'm in a serious relationship. That's a basic part of my femininity. Heck, I've got a closeup pic of my bare tits on Fetlife. There are plenty of women like me. Nothing wrong with crossdressing men emulating women like me.
Also, some women do enjoy the provocative and other pix posted here. Just because we don't post in the pix section doesn't mean we don't lurk.
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